Poll: Cleaning up the Movies

Movie editing is all the rage these days, as various companies (operating in a nebulous world of copyright) create “clean” versions of movies for the demanding (and paying) LDS customer. (For one article on the subject, see here). And what a job description — “the person who looks for sex and nudity in movies in order to filter it out later.” I’ll bet they don’t have difficulty filling the position of the guy who looks for the sex. (Hey, I wonder if they’re hiring?)

Of course, given the content of modern media, this may seem like a fruitless endeavor. Which brings us to the subject of today’s poll. To wit, we need your votes to learn what the most sublimely ridiculous movie or TV show to try to edit would be. Below is a customized list of well-known, popular entertainment that we can mentally gut of all trace of sin.

Enjoy voting! Feel free to explain your vote in the comments. (But any sex, nudity, or violence in comments will be filtered out!).

Comments

  1. VeritasLiberat says:

    Hasn’t anybody seen the MAD TV sketch where they present “The Sopranos, edited for PAX TV”?

    “Needless to say there was little left over for Pax to air.”

  2. Jennifer J says:

    Hey! Why was Buffy on the poll? Now I’m offended. Buffy was good clean family fun. She fought the evil things that came from hell to make the world safe for the rest of us. And since that was about the only tv show I watched in the last five years, I ought to know.

    For example, one of the vampires got his soul back and tried to do good as penance for all his past evil. I think Eric James Stone can back me up on this.

  3. How about Schindler’s List when BYU tried to edit it to show at the student theatre? Fortunately, Spielberg said “no way.”

    All this editing of films strikes me as “having our cake and eating it to.” I have zero desire to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t be offended at, or what they should and shouldn’t see. But if you’re going to take a moral stand – really take one. It seems like people are focusing on the wrong issue. Instead of focusing on what’s bad and what has to be avoided, how about focusing on what’s good. I could probably make a list of 1,000 movies that 95% of Mormon families wouldn’t be offended at. Why not watch those instead of spending so much time worrying about what might offend you.

    I suspect most members would tell you drinking decaf coffee or non-alcoholic beer would not be “avoiding the appearance of evil.” How come movies are different? Plus, if we can’t go shopping on Sunday (in part because it makes people work and that’s a sin) how come it’s ok to make people watch sex and violence and foul language to edit it out so we don’t have to watch it? Can I go into a strip club if I don’t see any naked women?

  4. How could I forget that one? It’s a classic of modern noir exploitation.

  5. Charles says:

    If we were to do edits for sex and the city, will and grace or freinds I’m sure there wouldn’t be much left. I’m glad I like comercials.

    Oh wait, are we editing comercials too?

  6. Jennifer, I am a devoted Buffy fan and I plan on getting hold of Jana Riess’ (a fellow Mormon) book, What Would Buffy Do?: The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0787969222/qid=1085967174/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-0401258-4266233?v=glance&s=books

    The hot Spike on Buffy action might take this show out of the “good clean family fun” arena (though I’m guessing you’re writing that remark tongue in cheek).

  7. Aaron Brown says:

    Kaimi,

    Actually, I had seen it years’ previously, but I had forgotten how sordid it really was. I thought I could tell my Mom when to close her eyes, but as the movie progressed, I realized she was going to have to keep them shut pretty much the whole time.

    By the way, I’m so offended by all the smut on the Big and little screen, that I feel compelled to see EVERYTHING, so as to be able to warn others what they should and shouldn’t see. It’s a dirty job, I know, but someone’s got to do it, and I just happened to be selfless enough to volunteer. That’s me — always thinking of others…

    Aaron B

  8. My vote–Pulp Fiction. There’s a reason that the only clips we see of the movie are the one of Travolta and Thruman dancing and the “Royale with Cheese” scene in the car.

    The episode of The Simpsons, 22-Short Films about Springfield, does have some hilarious parodies of some scenes from the movie though.

  9. Oh, I should have put that one on the list too, Mary. Good vote.

  10. Aaron Brown says:

    Sharon Stone’s beach house in _Basic Instinct_ is down the street from where my mother grew up, so she wanted to see it. I told her I’d try to edit out all the “bad parts” for her. Big mistake. There was virtually nothing left over.

    Aaron B

  11. So Aaron, _you_ were the guy who was looking for sex and nudity (in order to edit it out)?

    “Hey Mom, your old house is also in Sex and the City! And American Pie! I’ll get to work right away, looking for nudity in those too . . .”

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