Comments on: One little girl, her two dads, and whether that’s such a bad thing http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/ A Mormon Blog Tue, 14 Feb 2012 07:52:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: John H http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115932 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115932 “I think it would be grand to have the Proclamation on the Family be a public document”

Council of Fifty flashback, Council of Fifty flashback. Who’s going to anoint and crown GBH as King of the world?

]]> By: Davis Bell http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115933 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115933 “Political conservatives often strike me as essentially egotistical — incapable of empathizing with the plight of others because they somehow lack the imagination to feel what others might be going through. Or, even if they can, they just don’t care.”

I think what JN was trying to say was that Durkee is painting with a fairly wide brush here. I’m inclined to agree. Perhaps I am misinterpreting him/her. If I’m not, that’s a silly statement.

]]> By: Measure http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115934 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115934 “The girl would have been adopted by a traditional family if the same-sex couple wasn’t in line for the adoption.

That’s the point in this particular case: no she wouldn’t have, because shortly after her adoption Vietnamese adoptions were prohibited.”

Acutally, no, that does not work. The same-sex couple got to adopt the girl presumably because they were first in line at that particular moment of couples wanting to adopt. If not for the same-sex couple, the net family in line would have adopted her.

I admit my understanding of this process could be completely wrong, but all the adoptions I’ve read about work this way, because there are more parents wanting to adopt than there are children ready for adoption.

]]> By: Pheo http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115935 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115935 At the risk of conjuring up an imaginary enemy, it seems safe to assume that, sadly, there probably are some people who would rather see a girl forced into prostitution than raised in a loving home with gay or lesbian parents.

I don’t think you have created an imaginary enemy. I hope that few people think that way, but, undoubtedly, they are out there.

]]> By: Jeremy http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115936 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115936 I do not mean to equate the circumstances between his and my example.

Sure, you ostensibly don’t mean to equate, but the damage is already done — you’re saying that the situation I describe and the one you describe are both on the far side of a line that shouldn’t be crossed. What else is on that side? What else should be? Really crappy hetero parents?

Reductio ad absurdum, with emphasis on the absurdum.

]]> By: Jeremy http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115937 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115937 in the real world the choice isn’t between an ideal set of parents and a less-than-ideal set… it’s often between a less-than-ideal set and no set at all

And of course, it should go without saying (even though it often doesn’t) that the border between “ideal” and “less-than-ideal” runs a zigzag course along the border between “traditional” and “non-traditional” parental situations. One doesn’t have to look far to find lousy hetero parents; I haven’t met them, but from what I’m told, “Xuan’s” dads are remarkable parents.

]]> By: Jeremy http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115938 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115938 Once you acknowledge shades of gray in one issue, it opens up the can of worms that gray might exist in other issues.

Sucks to be in a fallen state, don’t it?

]]> By: Jeremy http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115939 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115939 The girl would have been adopted by a traditional family if the same-sex couple wasn’t in line for the adoption.

That’s the point in this particular case: no she wouldn’t have, because shortly after her adoption Vietnamese adoptions were prohibited.

]]> By: Jeremy http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115940 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115940 And of course, there are more little girls waiting in the orphanage.

]]> By: Durkee http://bycommonconsent.com/2004/09/28/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115941 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 http://centaur.nocdirect.com/~jbycommo/2004/09/one-little-girl-her-two-dads-and-whether-that%e2%80%99s-such-a-bad-thing/#comment-115941 At the risk of conjuring up an imaginary enemy, it seems safe to assume that, sadly, there probably are some people who would rather see a girl forced into prostitution than raised in a loving home with gay or lesbian parents.

For such people, it’s a matter of principle first: compassion comes second.

And of course they’re wrong to prioritize things that way. Political conservatives often strike me as essentially egotistical — incapable of empathizing with the plight of others because they somehow lack the imagination to feel what others might be going through. Or, even if they can, they just don’t care.

I heard once that one of the essential differences between people and animals is the ability to empathize. What does that say about conservatives, then, whose powers of empathy are so poor? (Jeez, I sound as shrewish as Arianna Huffington.)

What conservatives do care about, however, is the preservation of abstract (and perhaps unfounded) ideals like heterosexual parenting, even if it’s at the very grave expense of many others. It’s no skin off their nose to leave orphans to their own ends so long as the principle they believe in so earnestly is not trespassed.

However, perhaps what most strikes me about your story is that shouldn’t something more be done to re-open Vietnamese orphanages to American adoptions?

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