Oh Glorious Bronzed Hornsman–How long we have awaited thy arrival!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen…the folks at WalMart are recognizing the buying power of Mormons, and are filling that with a glorious bronzed hornsman…complete with a tennis visor.

Behold!

So how do you all feel about marketing efforts towards church members? Off shoot of church’s marketing plan as suggested by Deseret News? Tacky? Priestcraft? Necessary and welcome? Will you be buying a bronzed hornsman for your relatives this Christmas?

Comments

  1. a random John says:

    Aaron B,

    If you promise to put that Angel Morini on your primary car as a hood ornament, I will buy it for you.

    It is just too bad they don’t knock two cents off the price and then BYU football fans could relive the glory days while purchasing it.

  2. And just like that, Aaron clams up. I guess the Moroni would look disproportionately large on the hood of his Yugo.

    Seriously, though, doesn’t this strike anyone as a form of idolatry? Weird, evil stuff.

  3. Anyone purchased a uniquely LDS olive-wood carving in Jerusalem? I’m trying to remember the name of the guy there who carves them.

  4. darn, I think thou art correct, Steve….thine grammatical intuition hast impressed me. Or is it thy grammatical intuition?

  5. Hey Karen, isn’t it THINE arrival?

  6. I can’t wait to get my first issue of the Book of Mormon comic.

  7. I have never seen anything more beautiful, nor more appropriate. The greatest stocking stuff for the entire family, indeed!!

    I think Dave’s right. It was only a matter of time before this stuff started to hit us. I have a feeling that as the Church continues to internationalize this phenomenon will only continue.

  8. I quote directly from Robert Kirby’s Marketing the Faith:

    A couple of months ago I was in K-Mart looking for a bath mat when I stumbled onto something even better: shot glasses and beer mugs with the Salt Lake Temple embossed on them.

    Maybe it was the ironic juxtaposition of holy edifice and devil’s swill that piqued my interest, or maybe it’s just that I’m a sicko. Anyway, I bought a set of shot glasses. That night, I introduced my kids to a new Kirby family tradition – root beer shooters.”

    He then goes on to list some other items people might be induced to drop some after-tax, after-tithing cash on, like Gadianton robber action figures, liahona compasses for RVs and boats, and GA pogs and slammers.

    But my personal favorite, and something no well-appointed LDS home could possibly be without, is a This Is The Place door mat.

  9. I second ARJ’s challenge to AB. I’ll pitch in for shipping.

  10. VeritasLiberat says:

    I’m rather disappointed. I was hoping for an Angel Moroni Tree Topper.

  11. I’m still kicking myself for not buying the portrait of Pres. and Sis. Hinckley *on black velvet* that I saw at the fair in Provo last summer. eeeeeuw.

    I have to say, though, that my revulsion at these things is probably just class-based snootiness, and not any genuine religious objection. The religious argument against idols just makes me feel better about being a snob. (Alas)

  12. If people started installing Moroni hood ornaments they would just get stolen and dangled from the chunk-jewelry-laden necks of Provo street thugs and Mormon rap artists.

    Personally, I’m holding out for a musical version with a motion sensor that plays “Press Forward Saints” when someone walks past, like a faith-promoting version of Big Mouth Billy.

  13. Personally I don’t like to buy this kind of stuff, kind of makes me think of “idol worship” and although some of the items are neat, they are more or less just clutter items. Really, how many of us really need one of these?

    However, I don’t think it is bad that people are marketing items towards our faith. Afterall, we started doing it ourselves, and all these “Mormon” movies that keep coming out are just going to add fuel to the fire.

  14. remind me to tell you about the creepy Quaker in-laws I have that use “thee” all the time? Even when they should use “thous”? Exceedingly creepy, I say to thee.

  15. There is always someone willing to make a buck off the Saints, and as the rest of the article points out, it is only going to get worse.

  16. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Deseret Book sells Angel Moroni tree-toppers for Christmas.

    There are Russian nesting dolls available of the prophets (though it’s only the “greatest hits” prophets – President Hinckley, McKay, Brigham Young, etc. Don’t forget the Nephite/Lamanite chess set (I hope Nate Oman finds that under his tree this year).

    I don’t know if it’s evil, but it’s pretty weird. People just get obsessive about things that are important to them and put what they can in tangible objects. It doesn’t seem all that different than the Star Wars fan with the model Millenium Falcon.

    My all-time favorite Mormon kitsch item: When Bill Clinton was President, bumper stickers were available that read, “Gordon B. Hinckley is *my* President.” Good times.

  17. a random John says:

    To me it was the LLadro Cristus that really kicked this whole thing off. Since it wasn’t tacky it seemed to be a big seller, but to me it always had a hint of idolatry to it. If I have an idol and I don’t pray to it, is it ok? I can guarantee you that some poor member somewhere has prayed to a LLadro Cristus in time of need.

  18. Wal-Mart sucks. They’re such an evil evil corporation. So even if I were Mormon I wouldn’t buy a bronzed hornsman from there.

  19. What goes around, comes around. The Church has been using PR and marketing campaigns for decades now to target its missionary message to “the gentiles.” Now PR and marketing gurus are starting to use Mormon culture as a vehicle for marketing commercial products in all their varieties to Mormons. Personally, I’m waiting for the GA line of bobbleheads to come out.

  20. Aaron Brown says:

    Wow! I didn’t read the article; does it say how tall the Angel Moroni is? I would love to glue one to the hood of my car. It would be like a Mormon Rolls-Royce. Wouldn’t that be just the coolest?

    Aaron B

  21. Yeah, I’m not actually going to pitch in for anything, but Aaron, I double dog dare you!

  22. This is sweet! (I didn’t about the BCC when this was posted.) I’m getting one of those mats.

    And danithew, the guy who sells LDS olivewood figures (not idolatry, IMO) at the expense of his other Christian customers who get offended becuase of them, is Omar. That is all I know. But the Jerusalem center might be able to give you his number.

  23. Sultan of Squirrels says:

    While it is kind of weird. I wouldnt put this under idolatry. I always thought of Idolatry as loving money or something more than christ your family or your fellow men.

  24. “And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you…”
    2 Peter 2:3

    I’ve always been bothered by “mormon merchandising.” It reeks of priestcraft to me.

  25. a random John says:

    I just now returned from a visit to a house (in Provo no less) that prominently displayed the Glorious Bronzed Hornsman. It was quite the experience. The horn does not actually attach to his lips. In fact the mouthpiece is to one side of his forehead, which makes the whole thing a bit off. It did look a bit too fragile to place on Aarons hood.

  26. Is that how they blow horns in China?

  27. a random John says:

    I actually lifted it up and looked at the base when nobody was watching. Yes, I am a terrible guest. It was made in the Philippines.

  28. Why is anyone surprised that Wal Mart would try to get in on a few more bucks? They have sold the bible and the coran for years…no one seemed to mind…but if it’s mormon in nature then it’s not a good thing. Bear in mind not all professed Christians are christian in their behaviour, or budhist, or (and the list goes on ad infinitum) I dunno, with all this attention specifically pointed at either refuting or supporting mormonism, the must have something there or no one would pay any attention. Think I’ll look into it…I believe Christ wasn’t to revered in his time either…took over 2000 years and commercialization for him to be accepted.

  29. mental utopia says:

    Hmmm…I found this website because I was LOOKING for info on how to buy a treetop Moroni. My mother always has wanted to have an angel on the tree, while my dad has complained that real angels don’t have wings and all the treetop angels you can buy do. So I thought with Moroni on the tree they could both be happy. My husband thinks it’s a cheesy idea, but then, he didn’t really like the glass temple I wanted on our wedding cake either. Oh, I should point out that we do not live in Provo, or even Utah. The fam is in PA and husband, kids, and myself hail from Wisconsin.

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