But that’s neither here nor there. In response to the real gist of you post, admitting that you’re not Christlike in a particular context while coming to terms with that in the same thought… That can be a big WHOAH for some of us, I’m sure. I’m glad you don’t let it consume you like it should a “good” Mormon, heh. I personally think you’re fine.

But, now that I have overanalyzed in my head a little, I wonder, to what extent, I’m basing my “Logan is fine” conclusion on the fact that I know firsthand how much you’ve done for your current ward. If you were a lazy piece of s— who never did one thing in any of his capacities of calling-hood, then maybe I’d think differently. Not that I really have any right to say who’s fine and who’s not in this situation anyway. But it’s interesting to think about nonetheless.

No matter how disfunctional a ward is, I make it a point to leave it in God’s hands, or else loose my own peace. I would NEVER presume to tell a bishop how to “fix” things, REGARDLESS of any personal opinion I have about his methods.

Recall the story in the Old Testament where The Ark of The Covenant was being removed to another location. One of the oxen stumbled, and was about to overturn the cart The Ark was on. A man stepped forward to steady the cart, and when he touched it, God struck him dead. Only the Priests of Levi were allowed to touch it.

God considered the overstepping of personal bounds to be a greater problem than the fall of the Ark. Food for thought.

Try being scourged for several hours with a whip that has bits of steel and bone woven into it, and then having railroad nails driven through your wrists and ankles, right at the bony parts, and then *hanging on them* for several hours, all while everyone in town files by and spits on you as they insult you.

That would be pretty draining.

Of course that was Jesus. What about us weak humans. Read up on the lives of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. Constant illness, poverty, beatings, tarrings, children dying, rotting away in jail for months, getting shot by ten or twenty rifles at almost point blank range and falling out of the jail window, slogging a couple of thousand miles across the plains with almost no food and merciless heat, puking your guts out with dysentery at Winter Quarters and dying on a muddy riverbank (like my own ancestor).

Now THAT would be draining.

Ha! Now if that isn’t a dead giveaway of a newcomer I don’t know what is.

Of course Mark Ashby seems like such a pleasant and non-condescending fellow that I am just giddy with anticipation for his future comments…

(Pssst — Logan was the post, Mark)

I certainly didn’t mean to say that I’d “tell” the Bishop how to fix things, at least in a way that wasn’t respectful. At the same time, though, I’ve been in the executive leadership here for three years, and the Bishop has only been in the ward less than one year. I’m in meetings with him all the time and he quite commonly relies on my greater experience with the ward members and circumstances. It’s not a case of storming into his office and screaming at him about his methods, as you seem to have understood.

Also, you’re right that Christ and others are stronger than I am. I don’t deny that. I even said it. So I’m not sure what it is you’re trying to convince me of.

If I didn’t know better I’d think you were describing my and my husband’s experiences in our Brooklyn ward (not Williamsburg, so you may still be “safe” with that choice). I don’t have much to offer except commiseration. We will have reached the 3-year mark this summer, but we reached the end of our rope last fall, and began eagerly and guiltily looking for a new place, primarily for exactly the reason you cite: Church became the hardest, most draining part of our lives. The move ended up not being the right choice for us (for a number of reasons), and we resigned ourselves to at least another year in our present circumstances.

I find that my drained feeling ebbs and flows in opposite cycles to that of my husband, which thankfully seems to keep us both slogging through with some measure of cheer. It was also something of a mixed blessing this year to become too ill to remain president/chorister/pianist/everything else to the Primary, and my husband now only holds 2 callings instead of 4. I know we are needed here, and we are glad to be of service to others, but I often wish that I felt some sort of benefit–not as payment, but as much-needed reinforcement.

It is my feeling that it is perfectly acceptable to toss in the towel sometimes and give yourself a fresh start. The Lord doesn’t always care which ward we’re in–sometimes another person can do the work we’re leaving behind just as well if not better. If it were truly important that you stay where you are, you’d know it, and you seem to be the kind of person who is honest enough with himself to recognize and follow the promptings. As it is, you say you’re at peace–so go, and good luck!

(And if your ward is truly spectacular — or at least a bit of a respite by comparison — let me know, I may not be far behind!)

He said a newly moved-in member came up to him in the hallway and they started chatting. The newcomer eventually related how horrible his last ward was, how the people were un-Christlike, the bishop was insensitive. He concluded “we just didn’t like that ward.”

My dad replied: “then you won’t like this one either.”

My dad has now spoken. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. Just remember though, dad isn’t here to defend himself, so go easy on him.

The above doesn’t necessarily represent my own opinion. I’ll just throw in this thought:

If all the cool people move out of a ward for greener pastures, who does that leave in the “problem ward?”

It’s possible that “ward hunting” simply makes the problem worse. I’m not entirely comfortable with segregating the twerps in the church into “problem wards” where they all canibalize each other.

Under your reasoning, Jethro should have been struck by lightning, or at least reprimanded for what he did. Instead, he is praised in the scriptures.

Now another example:

In the ward we just moved from I sat in on Bishopric meetings as Exec. Sec. and I can tell you from personal experience that the kind of thinking displayed in this quote:

“I would NEVER presume to tell a bishop how to “fix” things, REGARDLESS of any personal opinion I have about his methods.”

Drives Bishops absolutely nuts! Of course they want respectful input on how things could be done better. They aren’t omniscient and, sorry to break it to you, they don’t receive direct revelation on every single calling they give out.

If you have an autistic son, an invalid parent at home, a pending bankruptcy, and just got called as Relief Society president, for heaven’s sake, SAY SOMETHING! The Bishop wants to know these facts so he doesn’t feel like a complete moron when he finds out about them a few months later when someone else expresses concern.

Those who prefer their bishop to operate in an informational vaccum are not doing him any favors.