Comments on: Ramblings on Money

By: Jerry

Jerry — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I remember about ten years ago a friend of mine pulled out his worn copy of Brigham Young’s Journal of Discourses (guessing at the book title here) and showed me President Young’s proclamation (paraphrasing here) “that it is the duty of every member of the Church to gain as much health, wealth and power as possible, that they might wield great influence for good in the world” (remember, that’s a loose recollection of what I read). I believe the key to his statement is the motivation for getting the money, to do good. Money is just like a hammer, you can use it to build with, or to tear things down. It is, indeed, simply a tool. You can put $10-million in dollar bills in a vault and place armed guards at the door to watch it, and that money will never do good nor evil. It is when it is used by the individual that it magnifies a person’s values and beliefs, either for good…or evil. Good people will do good things with money, bad people will do bad things. It is our values, beliefs, actions and repentant hearts that we will be judged by…not the amount of money we have acquired. People who flaunt their lack of financial means as some sort of sign of righteousness or moral superiority are in as much danger as those who pursue money for the wrong reasons. Sadly, there are some among us who lack sufficient financial means because of laziness or lack of ambition, fear of failure, or the mistaken belief that money is evil. Maybe I’ve said too much.

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Iyle Stamps – we’ve been considering purchasing dress clothes for my hubby’s HTing family who have 5 kids and live in a crummy 2 bedroom apt. He thinks they need it. He says their kids wear the same things every Sunday but being far removed I’m not sure if they are as destitute as he thinks. (Maybe their daughter really likes that dress? or dress clothes aren’t that important to them with growing children?) I’m worried about offending if they aren’t really strapped for cash and we anonymously drop by some dress clothes. What does everyone think?

On the family thing – I’d give them all I could if I prayed about it and felt right (everything is circumstancial) I’ve had the unfortunate priveledge of being the unemployed mooch of the family, and learned a lot about sacrificing that 9% Melinda speaks of. Like everyone else here you have a desire to give, but concerns about contributing to destructive behavior.

By: Kaimi

Kaimi — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I want enough money to allow me to house-crash Steve and Sumer’s pad for a while, and then flee while leaving nothing behind but my magazine subscriptions.

So, Steve old buddy, you’ve got a spare room now, right?

By: D. Fletcher

D. Fletcher — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

The specific example of a sibling needing money, I think is indeed troubling, and ought to be examined. One cannot be an “enabler” and allow everyone to take advantage. I think this has happened to my own parents, who seemed willing to bail everyone out at every opportunity. When they finally said no, it was taken as a real offense, even though they had been so generous in the past.

And yet, making a judgment in every case seems wrong, too. I don’t have an answer for this troubling scenario, but am just pointing out that there’s difficulty in knowing what’s best, to take care of yourself and your future, or to help out someone in need.

By: Kristine

Kristine — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I really struggle with this–my own spending habits are far from perfect, but having plenty of money gives me the luxury of doing dumb things with it and not having anyone judge me for it. It doesn’t seem fair to require that poorer people should be wiser in their spending than I am. I read a study a long time ago that found that welfare recipients and people with incomes over $100,000/yr both spent about 9% of their money on impulse/emotional/trivial purchases. That seems likely to me–human nature seems pretty similar across income distribution curves.

I once heard Gene England give a talk on King Benjamin’s sermon, where he expressed his gratitude that the injunction was to “succor them according to their wants” and not according to their *needs.* Figuring out what people need requires judging; knowing what they want means listening to them. Often, when people have a few of their most urgent wants satisfied, they can start being more sensible about what their true needs are.

I don’t think this always works, and sometimes I think we really do have to, as kindly as possible, help people by educating their desires. But I’m not sure that has to be the first step, and I think it’s almost always wise to delay our own impulse to judge.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Ann has a good point. Sometimes people who don’t have enough money are simply spending it on the wrong things. There’s a little girl in our neighborhood who always wants to eat lunch with my niece because her mom “doesn’t like to fix lunch”. Well, they don’t buy lunch food. It’s a sad story until you find out about all the other little extras they can afford.

I’m confident my siblings don’t do dumb things with money, so I lend it to them without question. And I feed the little girl whose mom buys dumb things instead of food for her daughter. But I sure wouldn’t give money to the mom directly because I know she wouldn’t spend it wisely. I’m not going to fund bad habits.

By: lyle stamps

lyle stamps — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Enough money to fund all my crazy and/or zion building activities:

1. co-op cocoa farms in liberia run by the relatives of members in my philly ward
2. enough single family homes in philly to lease to all dental/med students coming here, at a below market rate and/or with a refund for taking care of the place so they have a downpayment to buy after they finish school…
3. etc.

By: Ann

Ann — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

A woman I visit taught didn’t have enough money to buy decent Sunday clothes for her daughters. My companion bought a couple of lovely dresses for the children at the thrift store. Then, the woman’s Avon order was delivered – $25 worth of knick-knacks. That was more than my companion had spent on the dresses.

It’s hard listening to people complain about how they can’t afford their electric bill, while at the same time I observe that they have a DVD collection full of current releases. It makes it hard to take their complaints seriously, and it makes me feel crummy for feeling so judgmental.

I’d just as soon not know about people’s money troubles, because I’m no help, and I’m a know-it-all. Not a good combination.

How much money would I want? $100,000.

By: Steve Evans

Steve Evans — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Alamojab, I agree largely with your approach, but at the same time I don’t think less of people that give freely without question. Sometimes I wish I had that kind of courage to be generous to a fault — it’s the kind of fault that is nice to have, IMHO.

One of the approaches that hasn’t been discussed is to ask the person in need to open up their books to you; i.e., to see their expenses and income, and to work with them in creating a budget, a balance sheet, etc. Is it inappropriate to condition our giving on such invasiveness?

By: annegb

annegb — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Prudence, I just got struck with a bolt of lightning. Funny.

My sisters and I have lent each other money through the years, most of the time it’s been a good thing, sometimes it’s caused a few problems. Lucky are they who have honest relatives.

You asked how much money do–what did you say, want? I always start off fantasizing just putting down laminate floors and ripping up my old filthy carpet, which has seen kids and dogs and husbands tracking and doing all kinds of bad stuff. Then, I need new windows and a new front door, and the house needs to be painted….

Pretty soon, I’ve built myself right out of my house and into a new three story mansion, with a cabin in the mountains, and my own private plane and pilot. And that’s not enough, I want all my family to have that, too.

It’s never enough. Well, for some people.