I spent the weekend in Seattle, ostensibly to attend a conference, but also to determine the worthiness of the Seattle area bloggernacle luminaries. Here’s what I learned:
0.5 The sun always shines on Steve Evans. Note that Stapley and Aaron are in darkness. They are all, however, at the right hand of….
0.75 …Justin Butterfield is one of the Three Nephites.
1. Aaron Brown is a giant. Huge. Massive. Hands like plates.
2. Naiah has an evil plan to stake her claim to the faithful feminist niche of the nacle.
3. Nate Oman’s sister told us that Nate read books on the Civil War at the age of 3.
4. Nate Oman’s brother-in-law Matt prefers BCC to T&S. Good man.
5. Steve sits alone in his spartan apartment pining for his wife and watching movies on his Colby DVD player. Poor Steve.
6. J. Stapley is the archetypal “nice chap” who will quietly take over the world whilst saying “dude.” He brews diarrhea-inducing Xylitol Cola. He is also (along with Aaron Brown) a Neo Con, thus proving that BCC, in fact, is just a collection of conservative sheep in liberal wolves’ clothing.
7. Molly Bennion has a gigantic house.
8. Kathleen Petty’s husband’s brother was my bishop in Baltimore. Very. Small. Church.
9. The dogs of Snowflake, AZ have never recovered from the hi-jinxed days of Levi Peterson’s rascalish youth.
10. V for Vendetta is a flawed masterpiece. Remember: if your government is corrupt, their buildings must be blown-up.
11. Ronan can be tricked into having a picture taken of him that shows his struggle with alopecia.
12. If you bunk church and decide to bless the sacrament at home, is there a special prayer for blessing Doritos?(Thanks to everyone for their wondrous hospitality. Godless Seattle is a very cool place. Too cool, unfortunately, for those of us who live in Baltimore and will soon depart for that Bloggernacle black-hole known as Europa. Sob. Or is it, “Tee hee”?)