The constant companionship of a living God.
Knowing who I am, my eternal, glorious true nature.
The contrast of that with what I was taught all my life growing up, that I was ugly, stupid, unloveable, lame, and hopeless.
Knowing that I *can* change, that there is nothing good I can’t achieve if I want it, with the help of a loving Father.
Having a Father.
Knowledge and connection with my earthly father, despite his death. The rest of my nonmember family think of him with pain, and avoid the thought of him. To me he is a comfort and joy, is often in my dreams and waking thoughts, and all our differences are healed.
The knowledge that I’m growing, changing, achieving, day by day, and the good feeling that comes from that.
The blessings I’ve received, from baptism, confirmation, and priesthood blessings.
The understanding of life, other people, and happiness that I’ve gained.
The holy responsibilities that I’ve undertaken, to make the world a better place, and to bless those around me.
An understanding of the meaning of existence. Wisdom.
Though I have so far to go, the knowledge that I will continue to progress eternally.
Looking forward with a perfect brightness of hope.
The constant companionship of a living God.

Also, I have context, I lived before I was born, there is more than this life.

My friends in my ward have mourned with me and you guys, they put up with me. Can’t say enough about that.

It means family to me. It is something that is in me that I can’t just up and leave. I can’t deny that it’s the place for me, which is really annoying at the times I can’t stand to be there.

It points out to me with annoying clarity my weaknesses, shortcomings and failures. IT offers me redemption that I manage to use to anaesthetize the pain with most of the time. Occasionally, I am able to suck it up and actually resolve a painful thing through that redemptive atonement the Church teaches me about, and that’s a good thing.

It draws me into situations where I can rub shoulders with people I would not meet and certainly would not socialize with otherwise. Some of these people are true siblings of the heart that I love and who love me and we enjoy our time together and can validate each others. Some of these are actual siblings of the heart that have the social and spiritual equivalence to the sibling that steals your favorite toy and breaks it, or to the sibling that is always perfect and rubs your nose in your imperfection. I love all Mormons and acknowledge them as my family. If there was nothing to this Church than the association with Mormons, I would have left a long time ago — nobody can annoy me faster or more than a group of Mormons.

It teaches me a never-ending string of stories about God that is always changing, always adapting, always has more layers to taunt me with. Understanding God is chasing the Will-o-whisp, or touching the horizon — something I occasionally think is possible, and then I laugh at myself for being stupid.

It means watching people kindle their tiny little fires of testimony, and watching that flame grow and, all to often, blow out. It means caring about people who don’t care back sometimes. It means having to doubt stories of conversion because I’ve heard it so many times and then seen it go so very wrong far too often.

It means learning that there is always another level for everybody. There is always another thing around the corner that can blow you away if you don’t prepare yourself for it.

There are few things in my life more painful than my membership in the Church, and those things would be matters dealing with my family and with God directly. There are few things in my life that mean more to me than my membership in the Church, and those things would also be matters dealing with my family and God. I can no longer accept a nuance-free approach or understanding of the Church — I can’t follow God while supporting a lie.

Thus, I make people uncomfortable by default. You might have noticed that.

Spoken like a good Elder’s Quorum President.

It means redemption.