The Prophet proclaims divine approval of gay marriage tomorrow, and he instructs all Mormon men to enter into gay marriages. Given this new commandment, and assuming you get your pick of the litter, to which BCC permablogger would you most like to be betrothed?
The Poll is at the top of the post. Vote now! Sorry, Lesbians.
June 2, 2006 at 9:30 am
For those finding the choice to be difficult, I would helpfully point out that if you choose me, you’re sort of also marrying that Ms. McPrude lady, which should be a source of comfort for the more homophobic among you. It also sort of means you’re practicing polygamy, and how many of your gay married friends would also be able to claim that?
Aaron B
June 2, 2006 at 9:30 am
Steve Evans ‘cuz he’s the most womanly of the bunch.
June 2, 2006 at 9:32 am
I guess the choice comes down to Ms. McPrude and Jenn. Jenn was pretty cute.
June 2, 2006 at 9:42 am
I am going with Ronan. That accent….
June 2, 2006 at 9:43 am
So long as we’re celibate, I’ll marry all of yer (in an adoption-sealing kind of way).
June 2, 2006 at 9:47 am
Sheesh. Look at those poll numbers! Folks, I can’t marry ALL of you, for crying out loud. I mean, SOMEBODY has to marry Stapley!
Aaron B
June 2, 2006 at 9:53 am
You’re making a mockery of the sanctity of imaginary gay marriage.
June 2, 2006 at 9:53 am
You all had better stop voting for that last option; RT is mine, and don’t you forget it! (I don’t care whether you marry the others, though).
June 2, 2006 at 9:58 am
This is so mormon man of you to leave us women out. Bitch.
June 2, 2006 at 10:06 am
Amri, if leaving women’s voices out of the conversation is good enough for the Standard Works, it’s good enough for me. :)
Aaron B
June 2, 2006 at 10:08 am
I want the gay polygamy thing so I can have Steve for laughs but still get that exotic European tickle from Ronan.
:)
June 2, 2006 at 10:09 am
I just want to point out that per our sidebar link, that gay polygamy is biologically impossible. So there.
June 2, 2006 at 10:11 am
Steve! We’re Christians! Who can be bothered with biology?
June 2, 2006 at 10:14 am
I would also note that “pimp” as used above is street lingo for “enhance,” and is not being used in the “find me a hooker” sense. So we’re still a classy blog.
June 2, 2006 at 10:24 am
I nominate “You’re making a mockery of the sanctity of imaginary gay marriage” as the bloggernacle comment of the year.
June 2, 2006 at 10:32 am
As far as I can tell, the four men offered in the poll are straight. Having been in a mixed orientation marriage already, I’m so NOT going to marry a straight man.
June 2, 2006 at 10:36 am
Oh, you’re missing out Hurricane. Straight men are the BEST.
;)
June 2, 2006 at 10:40 am
Ann #15, I’ll give you a second. A great comment!
I see that Ronan is running away with this thing. We Americans are such suckers for that British accent.
June 2, 2006 at 10:45 am
Hey! There were 56 votes for me this morning. What happened? Were you just jealous, Steve? Are you trying to trammel the heart-felt expressions of love for me that are emanating from the Bloggernacle? Fascist.
Aaron B
June 2, 2006 at 10:49 am
AB, that was Ronan. For a Briton he’s surprisingly fascist.
June 2, 2006 at 11:08 am
Does this mean I get to go off to medical school while my brother-husbands stay at home changing my oil and opening my applesauce jars? There are benefits to polygamy, after all…
June 2, 2006 at 11:09 am
And as we know, all Englishmen are closet gays (I mean, cricket?), so it’s would only be correct if I won. You can all join me in my country private school. I’ll be teaching Greek.
June 2, 2006 at 11:23 am
“Does this mean I get to go off to medical school while my brother-husbands stay at home changing my oil and opening my applesauce jars?”
Only if “changing your oil” and “opening applesauce jars” are euphemisms.
June 2, 2006 at 11:28 am
Hurricane is right. Mixed marriages are too risky. I’d go for him or D. Sterling for sure. Oh darn, I already have a husband…..
June 2, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Would it make any sense for me to marry myself? I find the option deliciously confusing!
June 2, 2006 at 12:49 pm
probly don’t have to point this out to this crowd, but I’m pretty easy.
June 2, 2006 at 12:54 pm
RT, I’ve been married to myself for 48 years. It gets old pretty quickly…
June 2, 2006 at 1:43 pm
“And as we know, all Englishmen are closet gays…” Not so much since the decline of the old British public school system.
June 2, 2006 at 1:45 pm
There’s still MI6. (But let’s not start picking which iteration of James Bond is the best.)
June 2, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Isn’t there an option for Ms. McPrude with a British accent?
June 2, 2006 at 1:58 pm
greenfrog,
I just saw the trailer for the new Bond. It looks badass. Roger Moore was definitely gay, or bi.
June 2, 2006 at 2:07 pm
I think I’ve just experienced my first ever post-childhood childhood trauma. I’m retroactively scarred for life.
Oh, the humanity.
June 2, 2006 at 2:07 pm
“Not so much since the decline of the old British public school system.”
So they’ve come out of the closet?
:)
June 2, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Ronan, I saw that trailer, too. I’m looking forward to it.
June 2, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Hee-Hee-Hee, hardly anybody wants to marry Steve. Steve, my queer friend, you’re going to die a lonely old spinster.
Aaron B
June 2, 2006 at 2:49 pm
I’m in good company.
June 2, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Guys, it actually worked… We caused Adam trauma AND got him to comment about it here! I guess the comments can continue, but I don’t know if it’s necessary now.
June 2, 2006 at 3:15 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever been part of a package deal before. Would I also be married to all the co-spouses, or is it more like spokes on a wheel? And who is going to preside? Somebody has to hand out FHE assignments.
June 2, 2006 at 3:30 pm
29, 31 –
This gay man can’t wait to see Daniel Craig as 007.
June 2, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I’m shocked that Kelsey Grammer in his Beast costume isn’t an option. I mean, that X-Men movie was SO good …
oops, wrong thread … sort of.
June 2, 2006 at 4:54 pm
Aaron,
I am taking back my proposal now that other options exist. ;)
June 2, 2006 at 5:37 pm
What other options, Crystal? My fellow bloggers are only in the market for gay marriages. And the Prophet hasn’t endorsed lesbian marriage in my hypothetical … only gay marriage for men. Thus, you’re stuck with me. And with my 3 new husbands.
Aaron B
June 2, 2006 at 5:51 pm
Well, I guess that’s okay.
Mormon girls have to settle.
But who are your three husbands?
June 2, 2006 at 8:05 pm
Steve because he’s Canadian.
June 2, 2006 at 11:40 pm
I dunno, Aaron. The first wife on Big Love talks about being in a marriage with her sister wives. And she would know what she’s talking about.
P.S. I loved seeing Sarge from CHiPs on one of the episodes. I wondered what he was up to. Guess he couldn’t get work as Erik Estrada’s sidekick on the infomercial circuit.
June 3, 2006 at 5:53 am
Dude, I’d marry Bill Paxton. He’s pretty hot for an old guy.
June 3, 2006 at 10:43 am
Why is Ronan offered twice?
June 3, 2006 at 1:52 pm
Cause he’s the resident slut. :)
Bill Paxton is old?
Aaron B
June 3, 2006 at 2:34 pm
He’s 51.
Old enough to be my Daddy. More then double my age, actually.
June 5, 2006 at 11:19 pm
Bill Paxton looks great for 51. I suspect liposuction was involved.
June 8, 2006 at 10:17 am
I’ll need a list of salaries and measurements befor I decide. :)