Comments on: The most insightful things I’ve ever heard an LDS leader say about the role of women were said 20 years ago

By: Girl

Girl — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 22:36:43 +0000

I want to express appreciation for this thread. I am one of President Faust’s granddaughters and was in the audience when he delivered this talk. I can say that he has stayed true to his words in his encouragement of his granddaughters and their decisions in life. I have not read this talk for a long time, and reading it now as a grown woman I have such a greater appreciation for his counsel. Thank you for bring me back to it.

By: jothegrill

jothegrill — Sun, 04 Jun 2006 19:56:45 +0000

Because of the pressure many women feel to be perfect, I think the brethren are in a difficult position when it comes to giving cousel in this matter. The working mothers feel guilty about not being able to be home with their children, the stay at home moms feel guilty about not making a bigger (or at least more obvious) difference in the world. The fact remains that while women definately have similarities our roles in the world and in the church and in our families are different. For example, I have a wonderful husband who comes home from work and helps clean the house and plays with the kids and is just the perfect daddy for our little family. However he has a job where he sits at a computer all day and he enjoys it but to move around and get physical work done is very refreshing for him. I have a close friend whose husband was doing hard physical labor all day long and when he comes home what he needs is to just sit and let his body relax. So our roles as wives and mothers are very different. Hers is the sole care of the household, and mine along with cleaning and nurturing includes IM-ing my husband while he is at work and keeping him entertained. I know that I am very blessed, (I’d even say spoiled,) in my situation, but my friend takes pride in her work as well and she can do things her own way. We can’t all be happy doing exactly the same things. Thank you for this post, it is a very insightful article.

By: Joanne

Joanne — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 19:29:09 +0000

Dr. Gilligan / Beverly Campbell. This *does* sound 50 years old–wrapped up in gender politics of the time. And I guess I’m a little suspicious about Beverly Campbell after reading about her anti-ERA PR role in Virginia in the new “Pedestals and Podiums” book. Has anyone analyzed the general women’s conference talks over the past 30 years? That might yield some good stuff.

By: HP/JDC

HP/JDC — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 16:57:49 +0000

Elisabeth,
Actually, Elder Faust did ask him to help pick up the slack. He quoted another general authority who encouraged it and cited his own failings in this arena as something to not be emulated. That said, much more of the talk is dedicated to extolling the virtue of selfless feminine service.

By: annegb

annegb — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 16:16:08 +0000

Yes, perfectionism is a hard, hard burden.

I agree with you, Elisabeth. And thank you, Daniel, for posting this.

By: Elisabeth

Elisabeth — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 05:32:32 +0000

HP/JDC – Thanks for this thoughtful post. I appreciate Bro. Faust’s remarks, and I agree with this statement of yours:

Be perfect at home and at work. It is an impossible expectation, but, like so many expectations regarding womanhood, it is one that women are regularly saddled with.

This statement is very true, but I wonder why women, but not both women and men, feel “saddled with” this expectation of perfection.

Along these lines, I think Bro. Faust needs to go a few steps further in his analysis. He recognizes that women’s responsibilities haven’t changed, although women now have more opportunities in the workplace. This reflects the many studies that show women are primarily responsible for child care and domestic tasks (laundry, fixing meals, etc.) even when both parents work (and two-income families are becoming more and more common in the Church). In my opinion, Bro. Faust needs to call on the men to fulfill their family responsibilities – which may just include scrubbing the toilet and taking the day off work to tend sick children – not extoll the virtues of housework to women.

By: HP/JDC

HP/JDC — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 02:17:58 +0000

Thank you for your thoughts and that quote, Eowyn. We often get so focussed in on what we believe the Brethren have done wrong on this front. It is nice to have another place to turn to where we believe they got it right.

By: Eowyn

Eowyn — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 02:08:43 +0000

I adore this talk. Thanks for your elegant thoughts and for giving me a chance to reread and ponder President Faust’s inspired words.

President Faust has a special place in my heart. One of his granddaughters was a roommate of mine while I was a student at BYU. He would call every so often (not less than monthly) to see how she was doing. In addition to finding out about her, he would ask how all of her roommates, each us by name, were doing. I was floored at his care and concern for girls he’d never met.

I also like a talk by Neal A. Maxwell from 1979 titled the Women of God. It brought me encouragement during a time when I was most upset about gender differences in the church.

Here is my favorite quote:

“We know so little, brothers and sisters, about the reasons for the division of duties between womanhood and manhood as well as between motherhood and priesthood. These were divinely determined in another time and another place. We are accustomed to focusing on the men of God because theirs is the priesthood and leadership line. But paralleling that authority line is a stream of righteous influence reflecting the remarkable women of God who have existed in all ages and dispensations, including our own. Greatness is not measured by coverage in column inches, either in newspapers or in the scriptures. The story of the women of God, therefore, is, for now, an untold drama within a drama.”

Interestingly enought, President Faust cited this very quote while addressing the sisters in the general RS meeting last year. Like I said, President Faust is one of my favorites.

By: HP/JDC

HP/JDC — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 21:08:21 +0000

Aaron,
I believe that it is impossible to compete with Gay Marriage fantasies and therefore I don’t even try.

mistaben,
I don’t think that Elder Faust or the Brethren have been ignoring reality in the interim. I just don’t think that their rhetoric has been terribly effective, sometimes. Luckily they have the Spirit to make up for their imperfections.

By: mistaben

mistaben — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 20:26:53 +0000

I think one reason this talk seems refreshing now is because it’s a genuine attempt to address the truth about these issues. Today it seems rare to read an essay devoid of platforms and rhetoric, on either side of every topic.

For example, the Eliza R. Snow quote is extremely relevant today. Far too many feminists have indeed adopted all the worst attributes of men. Yet discussions of this reality are too rare today.