Matt. 10: 35, 37
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
• • •
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

I am sorry your heart is so sore by the choices your daughter is making. I am very sorry you feel so saddened. I don’t understand the lies- being honest in all our doings is a tennet of our faith, and I cannot speak for your daughter.

We beleive in Jesus Crist as the savior of the world, and the Savior of each and every soul on it… so perhaps your daughter isn’t straying so far from her roots as you seem to feel. She isn’t leaving behind Christ by joining the LDS church.

Regarding leaving ones family, well, I did not leave my family. My family could not accept a choice I had made. They put up the fences. I wish with all my heart that they could have continued to see me with the same loving eyes I always knew before becomming LDS. I continue to strive to find ways to be close to them, and I love them greatly.

If I could give you any advice, it would be to continue to love your daughter and be open and welcomming to her, whatever her choices in life may be. As a convert, the hardest thing for ME is feeling like my family’s love is conditional- if I do what they want, they love me. If I choose differently, they reject me. That is more painful that I can say.

You also may want to go to LDS.org, and read our Articles of Faith. It’s a list of the tennets of our beliefs, and may help you understand more. The first tenent is belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, in God the Father and in the Holy Ghost.

My prayers will be with you and your family to find some peace and understanding. Thank you for your comment.

It is human nature to believe that you are right. This goes for mormons and non-mormons alike.

I would not assume that your family loves you any less – they probably are truely concerned about you and your family. Just as mormon families struggle with their apostate relatives

I think that at certain points there is nothing tragically final with holding any particular heresy, espeically when they are held honestly. If you truly care that what you beleive is true, and are therefore amendable to altering your views, and so don’t have an identity invested in holding this or that view, I think everything will come out ok in the end. It seems to me that this must be true both for believing and not quite as beleiving peeps. Being able to say ‘I don’t know’, ‘I don’t understand’ – that’s the beginning of learning. There is nothing worse for learning than constantly making assertions of the infallibility of imperfectly understood ideas.

I don’t know if I would ever say that I know the Book of Mormon is of ancient origin. I beleive it is, I think it probably is. It isn’t, I suppose, that important to me. I know that your milage may vary. I would, however, say that it is _true_. I would say that I know it is true: what it teaches about the spiritual conditions of individuals and societies. That, as they say, a man will get nearer to God by living it.., etc. As for the first vision – I can barely describe what happened to me last week, let alone 15 years ago, without realizing that I’m not telling exactly right, becuase I don’t recall what is exactly right, or with perfect accuracy – but, like one critic said about Isak Dinesen:
she is never accurate but is in a grand manner sincere.’ In other wrods, the story is true even if the details are off. It bothers me not one iota if Joseph Smith, long after the fact, got specifics wrong. Nor does the fact that he rarely spoke openly of it till long after the fact say much – I keep virtually all me spiritual experiences to myself, do not assume that I’ve learned what i need to learn from them, etc; and the more profound the experience, the more likely that I won’t speak of it. And, so, while I’ve never seen the Father adn the Son, many of the other spiritual experiences Joseph describes in his life I have had, and not rarely – so that there is no reason for me to doubt his good faith – and that, for me, has come to be enough.

As for wisdom – beats me. I’m absolutely positive that many active members are more or less in your shoes. Part of the reason I left the church, *part* (and I never really say this because I don’t think I’ll be believed), is that I knew that if I spoke my mind I’d do more harn than good – and I always speak my mind. I think the Lord wanted me out of the church, both for my sake and the church’s. I’m not saying that is right for you, especially as you have a family whose faith and love you value. In fact, I’m nearly positive it isn’t. Just because something is true, or you feel that it is true, doesn’t mean it needs to be said. I certainly don’t claim to know what is wise for you to do – but I would think that if you’re happy in the church, press on. Maybe you’ll find a good frined, or bishop, who can sympathize with your dilemna. (it’s been known to happen *wink*) What I do think with a lot of sureness is that if you keep your covenant – which is this – that you ‘always remember Him, and keep his commandments … that you will have His Spirit to be with you …’ and that things will work themselves out in the end.

We don’t get or fail to get answers in one blinding (heh) flash. I’ve long thought that this is one of the weakest parts of our teaching: that people are to study and then pray, na dthen supposedly get everything they need to know in a single spritual experience, and take all thier views from that. I’ve heard some distancing in GC from this teaching – or more routine than teaching, really) Coming to Christ is a lifelong process, marked by doubts of all kinds, revelations of all kinds, first barely audible then later clear as a bell, doubting those revelations, failing to receive revelations just when you think you need it most only to much later be overwhelemed with information you couldn’t previously have processed – with many failures as well as some succeses.

Go to the scriptures and try to confrom yourself to what you learn. Even if it seems out of step. (There is the room for heresy in good faith.) Light is added to light, here a little, there a little. You love your family very much. The Lord is going to reveal to you what best to do for them. Listen close. Love them more than you love yourself. You’re going to be ok.

~

I really wish the church was more open about it’s past- it’s horrible to find out such unsavory things from other sources, and does feel like a kind of deception.

My own solution is to just agree that the church is imperfect- Jesus Christ is the only perfection, and the work of this church and what it tries to stand for are very good things in my life. Hence, my testimony, as I wrote above, cannot be of so many of the things others testify. Maybe some day it will be, but for now, all I can say is: My life is better with the church, familial problems and all.

Good luck, and hold onto the rocks- Christ and His forgivenss of our frailties.

They have chosen to make my joining a church an issue. My mother was the one who said I could not be both Mormon and her daughter- out of the blue, I might add. Also, it likely would not have mattered what church I joined- they don’t approve of organized religion in any form, and subscribe to the “opiate of the masses” thoery.

I am doing eveything in my power to show them my faith won’t interfear with out releationship, but I worry that the only thing that will make them beleive that is my giving up my faith entirely. That is something I cannot do- for anyone. Faith is private and personal- and no one else should have jurisdiction over another’s conscience.

Thomas–I appreciate your response, and have found what you say to be very true, especially about Christ.

Your confidence that there is a place for loyal heretics gives me hope. But mine are not “little deviances”, i.e., Coke or not; or tithing net or gross.

I do not believe the Book of Mormon to be of ancient origin. I do not believe the First Vision was an actual event. I could go on, but you get the point.

These are not mere doubts–I have studied and thought and prayed about these things seriously. Even so, I love the church and most of what it stands for. I believe this is where God wants me to be.

Yet I can’t be fully “in” the church, because my beliefs preclude me from holding a temple recommend. I can’t, in good conscience, express many of my thoughts and beliefs in church meetings, because of how they might affect those around me–not least, my family.

I guess what I’m looking for is not solace, but wisdom. How do you walk this road?