Comments on: Why We Wait

By: activmo

activmo — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 20:21:39 +0000

I never understood the allure of the temple. My first time was terrible. I was not prepared and had no support. I attended 10 or 15 times after this with my spouse and dilike only increased. My wife frequents the temple monthly but, I suspect that I will never go back.

I assume that at least one of my kids will get married in the temple, many of my nieces and nephews will. Too bad I wont be able to participate because my mind does not work in the authorized manner

By: cchrissyy

cchrissyy — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 19:01:48 +0000

“Tracy, if your parents hassle and belittle you, then they have a problem. They are NOT acting the way responsible parents act when their adult offspring make different choices.

If you make such major life decisions to try to avoid hurting them, then you are being an enabler to their toxic behavior. ”

right on!

By: Proud Daughter of Eve

Proud Daughter of Eve — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 01:46:32 +0000

Tracy, you sure sound like you’re in a hard place. I’ve been in a pretty hard place myself lately and like you, that hard place is because of the relationships between my family, myself and the church. It’s not the same problem by any means but its similar enough. I really feel for you. You’re in my prayers.

By: Joanne

Joanne — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 20:39:30 +0000

A couple of tools that have helped me recently–things I wish someone had told me years ago:

1) I’ve always realized that the temple is filled with symbolism. But that doesn’t mean there’s a one-to-one correspondence between each icon and what it signifies. (This means X and only X.) I’m constantly catching myself for taking something too literally–taking something for an icon when it is possibly just part of a grand symolic picture. I wonder: how would the ceremony have been different if the gospel had been restored in an Eastern culture? The truths would remain, but the representation might have been totally different. For example, does each memorized word equate with something we will actually say after we die? Will there be a physical veil? Etc.

2) Temple is theatre. Why don’t we just go inside the temple and read a transcript of what is said and done? Because script (or any other medium) has its limitations. I love doing my gospel reading and I’m thankful to be literate, but I believe you can study the gospel through other media and become literate in those “languages” too. We are asked to “read scriptures” daily, but I like to think that can also mean “reading” or interacting with a piece of religious artwork where no words are involved.

By: Molly Bennion

Molly Bennion — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 18:51:09 +0000

Tracy, You have a great heart. Consider all the good ideas and go back to it. I almost commented on your last post on your family, but, as often happens, by the time I saw it, all the good things had been said. Pretty true here too (like Kevin’s #24), though I would add, as a convert whose family was very much against my joining the church, that I am most moved by your understanding both of the importance of the church and its ordinances and of your responsibilities to your family. After a very difficult start, by very sensitive actions and some good luck, my parents and I couldn’t be much closer and that is a great blessing to us all. It’s also a great blessing to my husband and children. Mom nd my husband are great friends. It is my non-member parents who have taught my children how to be a loving grandparent and how to live courageously through the problems of old age. They will need those lessons. Though church requirements are important, God is love and the primary means to return to him is to learn to love. Sounds to me like you know that well and will let your heart take one step ahead of the rule book. Dilemnas like yours are what the gospel and life are all about. My very best wishes.

By: cj douglass

cj douglass — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 18:13:35 +0000

Ya, I still don't "get" the endowement ceremony(who does?). When I do go back to the temple, I find myself pondering the weather or my schedule for the following week or how I can be a better father/husband. Far from the deeper meanings that I have been told exist in the ceremony. But the greatest day of my life was kneeling across the alter from my wife at our wedding/sealing. There were profound promises made that day and amazing feelings, insights and revelations felt and understood. It is my greatest comfort everyday of my life that if I stay true to those promises, in the end, my family will be together forever. And not because the old/wise sealer said it was so but because I felt it and understood it that day and (almost) everyday since.

By: J. Stapley

J. Stapley — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 17:14:18 +0000

Um, geena, that is not even close to a reasonable analysis of the temple covenants/expectations. If that is your attitude, best not go.

By: geena

geena — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 16:57:15 +0000

One very helpful thing to know is that you never promise or covenant to wear garments at any time in the temple. You are TOLD that you WILL. Feel free to wear whatever underwear you like after going through the temple. There are many ways to remember your covenants.

By: Ariel

Ariel — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 15:35:59 +0000

About wearing garments while with your family: it is my understanding that garments aren’t supposed to be exposed to the view of those who don’t understand or respect them. IMO, that includes your family. If closed doors are ignored and you are expected to change clothes with your family, I would say you’re under no obligation to wear your garments during those visits.

By: Beijing

Beijing — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 14:23:10 +0000

Tracy, I know what you mean about the family realizing this isn’t just a phase. I paused after “I will not attend church nor accept visitors from church” before moving on to “I will no longer officially be a member” due to my parents’ feelings only. Even though I was ready to move on in that way, I wasn’t ready to break the news to them that I had moved on.