Well, round one ended on a high note with the closest call we’ve had yet between two contenders. 6. 3 Nephite Stories came from behind and squeaked by 11. Handcart Reenactments 51% to 49%. Perhaps we will have more competitive matchups in the round of thirty-two.
The winners from the last round were: 1. The Angel Moroni, 2. Green Jello, 14. Asking out via clues/scavenger hunts, 4. Harry Anderson, 5. The Cultural Hall, 6. 3 Nephite Stories, 7. Dancing Book-of-Mormon length apart, and 8. Dear John Letters. Dale Murphy, once again, has lost *sob*
Today’s matches will pit 8 past winners against one another. Let the games begin:
1. Funeral Potatoes vs. 8. Trunk or Treat
In the last round, Funeral Potatoes handily defeated 70s-era Battlestar Galactica (74-26), much to a Random John’s chagrin. Trunk or Treat didn’t do as well, defeating RULDS2 58-42.
My prediction: Behold the power of Cheese (and potatoes)!
10. Johnny Lingo vs. 14. Short-Sleeved Shirt and Tie
Johnny Lingo bought the vote with 8 cows, leading to a 67-33 victory over Potluck Dinners. Also, The fashionable choice was the Short-Sleeved Shirt and Tie which defeated the aging Gold and Green Ball in a walk-off 84-16.
My prediction: the fashion conscious among us will choose sharp ties over mumus.
5. Missions vs. 15. Wedding Receptions with Basketball Hoops
Missions extended in the field, defeating Conspiracy Theories 92-8 (a score that I am sure the Illuminati and the Signaturi approved beforehand). Wedding Receptions with Basketball Hoops (the only metaphorically appropriate entry to survive the first round) slam dunked J. Golden Kimball 60-40, proving that (dead) white men can’t jump (also proving that my jokes are old).
My prediction: Missions tell the Wedding Receptions to be done by 10, vacuum, and turn the lights off afterwards.
4. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir vs. 6. Food Storage
MoTab rocked Basketbrawl to the tune of 92-8. Food Storage outlasted Saturday’s Warrior 67-33 (it helps that it is still relevant).
My prediction: Sing it, Sisters (and Brethren)!
Vote above and comment below.
January 24, 2007 at 10:56 am
Methinks you are trying to influence the outcome with your own predictions.
January 24, 2007 at 10:57 am
Perhaps, cantinflas, but if you look at the predictions past, you will note that I am crap at it.
January 24, 2007 at 11:09 am
Really? I’ve probably asked this before but what aspect of Mormon Culture does Johnny Lingo illuminate exactly?
January 24, 2007 at 11:23 am
HP, you are a lousy scientist. You are tampering with your own experiment by stating for us your predicted outcomes.
January 24, 2007 at 11:23 am
Johnny Lingo is a picture of Mormon Optimism and expecting the best of others. It’s a great piece. That said, the new version with it’s tahitian noni juice made me vota against it.
January 24, 2007 at 11:26 am
I’m happy to see that voters punched a hole in my wild prediction regarding the Three Nephite Stories v. Handcart Reenactments matchup. I’m only sorry that J. Golden Kimball couldn’t join the Three Nephite Stories (the tournament’s cinderella team) in round two.
I’ll take Funeral Potatoes, Johnny Lingo, Missions, and the MTC.
January 24, 2007 at 11:28 am
People, I have been predicting all along. I just haven’t done it in the post itself before. As stated before, if my predictions truly influenced outcome, then we would have an entirely different set of competitors at this point. That said, I am flattered that you all seem to think that everyone wants to vote to please me.
Matt W.,
Thanks. I think of it and only see weird cultural stereotypes, objectification of women, and Mahana sitting in a tree.
January 24, 2007 at 11:51 am
I am SHOCKED that the MoTab is spanking food storage.
January 24, 2007 at 11:54 am
Wow. Not even one close race. Interesting.
January 24, 2007 at 12:22 pm
HP, what I really want to know is what aspect of Mormon Culture does Funeral Potatoes illuminate, except that Mormon Culture is often mixed up with Utah Culture and the implications therein.
January 24, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Matt funeral potatoes illuminates the very Mormon practice of the Relief Soceity bringing over food to the sick and afficted. My parents aren’t members but when my sister was in the hospital in a coma, a woman brought over a pork tenderloin and funeral potatoes. The potatoes were a hit and are still made by my parents, and are one of the very few connections that have with church.
January 24, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I think you would have been better served by going with an NFL-style tournament where the highest seed remaining in a round is always paired with the lowest remaining seed, and so forth. That would protect against such BCS-worthy outrages as Johnny Lingo advancing to the next round while food storage goes down in defeat.
January 24, 2007 at 1:34 pm
What Katie said. It has been identified as a Mormon food well outside of Utah to boot (I grew up in Florida and we were very familiar with the dish). It combines elements of the mountain west (potatoes & fatty foods) with elements of Church care (the reason for the casserole is that it is: 1. relatively easy to make and 2. really wonderful comfort food; both excellent for getting meals to people stat). Finally, I love, love, love them and have been put in charge of the show. Johnny Lingo I only like as a humorous oddity from the 70s wave of Mormon filmmaking (along with The Phone Call).
Finally, Matt, your anti-potatoes campaign not only shows that you are apostate, but that you are clearly lactose-intolerant. DON’T SPOIL IT FOR THE REST OF US!
January 24, 2007 at 1:40 pm
…there is no lactose in cheese…
January 24, 2007 at 1:41 pm
We had been making funeral potatoes for years before we heard that name for them. My sister-in-law had dubbed them “yummy potatoes,” and we still go by our family name for the treat.
January 24, 2007 at 2:05 pm
If Katie is dead on, then why was “Delivering meals to the sick” a seperate entry than Funeral Potatoes in this very contest? Funeral Potatoes have no more special hold on Mormonism than green Jello and Fry sauce! Just because this whole contest is absolutely rigged to make Funeral Potatoes look good, doesn’t mean you can feel so proud! (I’m pretty much just rehearsing in case the Colts lose next week…)
(BTW, Katie, that is cool for your folks, my parent’s only connection with the Church is that my Dad got really excited about Genealogy for about a year, and my Mom is just happy I’m not in jail.)
January 24, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Ha! I defeated your nefarious schemes to prevent my weighing in on these vital questions by voting via the library’s computer rather than by laptop at home. Shall I tell you how I voted, so you can remove my votes? Or will you think I’m falsely reporting so that you will remove the wrong tallies and double the value of my vote?? Braww-haw-haww!!!
January 24, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Ardis, do you use wifi at home? If so, perhaps a neighbor is piggybacking on it, and had already voted here before you.
January 24, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Wow, that was a hard round. I still can’t decide between wedddings and missions. They’re both sooooo Mormon.
January 24, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Matt, you anti-tuber activist, it is the difference between a verb and a noun. You have the act and then you have the perfected result of the act. The difference makes you decide if you ally with Kant or Mill.
January 24, 2007 at 4:08 pm
HP (20) Don’t you hate when you laugh and then realize you don’t really get the joke, then you feel dumb for laughing, then you laugh at yourself for feeling dumb for laughing, then…
January 24, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Saturday’s Warrior is still relevant, in that its doctrines have crept into church culture. However lots of people don’t realize that’s where the ideas come from. If you’d paired Saturday’s Warrior against a loser like “Delivering meals to the sick” it would still retain its rightful place here.
January 24, 2007 at 10:20 pm
What Paula said. Totally.
Potatoes
Lingo
Missions
Choir
I agree, Lisa, Missions v weddings was tough; I wanted both.
Johnny Lingo wins it for me because I’ve seen plenty of Non-Mormons wearing the short sleeved shirt and tie combo when I was in Japan (in the summer, and here in the tropics where I am right now all year long). It’s weird, but it’s not solely identified with the church, whereas Johnny Lingo… BTW, Tahitian Noni Juice? My LDS downstairs neighbor in Japan used to work for Tahitian Noni whatever, and had a Tahitian Noni car. Wow!
January 24, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Mo-Tab is winning because the Mo-Tab is cool, and food storage is losing because it’s a pain in the ass.
January 25, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Re: #3
Johnny Lingo does not reflect Mormon culture. Johnny Lingo IS Mormon culture, i.e. a flawed attempt to capture and reflect a true principle (that caring for someone changes them) wrapped up in a cultural distortion served with kitsch in the form of great quotes. To some it it symbolizes offense, to others it has served as inspiration, to all it remains iconic.
And it deserves to win…
January 27, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Green jello, and the Mormon practice of food-for-comfort made it into Saveur Magazine, January 2007, page 97. It is, however, the crushed pineapple/whipped cream version, not the grated carrot version. I was sorry to see green jello go down.
January 31, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Re #7:
What about the people that specifically want to vote AGAINST you? You’re just making it easier for us, I mean them.