[Not that anyone wants to visit TGSOT anyway, but that's their loss.]

I am, at heart, a home-body. I prefer being home and near loved ones over traveling far and wide. I love my family and extended family and enjoy the time we have together. And yet in 20 years of marriage, I have spent only the first 7 months, and then another 16 months (9 years later) near our families.

What has this done for me? I appreciate my family and my husband’s family far more than I would if they were constantly in proximity. I have become a much more independent and stronger woman than I thought I was or could ever be. I am far more appreciative of my husband and his awareness of my needs (including bouts of homesickness). I am more cognizant of building family bonds with (and for) my children. I am more grateful for the extended Church/friends/community families to which I belong. I have learned that it is much harder on those being left behind than for those heading off for a new adventure. I am more aware of our parents’ heartbreak and “loneliness” as another visit ends. How much will my kids grow this time before they see them again?

And last fall, as my oldest headed 8.5 hours away for his first year of college, I truly began to understand my parents’ love, patience, and willingness to “let me go.” Those first few difficult months of practical (not just theoretical) “cutting the apron strings” I kept reminding myself that for 18 years I had raised my son to leave, to be responsible, to find himself, to love and learn and grow on his own. I don’t want him living in my basement at age 30! (Though he is always welcome if there’s a need.) I want him to live his life and his dreams. And so I let him go (and cried on my husband’s shoulder for nights on end).

In the end, I believe it is the same for all parents. We love, teach, guide our children — all the while knowing that in the end they will leave us to pursue their own dreams, to return on occasion for those precious “home leaves.”

Just as we did before them.

I hope I measure up to the dignity and grace, the love and support, of our parents’ example.

Norbert, your post moved me deeply and brought me to tears. Thank you so much for the memories.

Looking back, some of it is also part of Mormon pioneer heritage when converts left their parents to gather to Zion, often without ever seeing them again, and letters taking months to get a response. How much this must have deepened the appreciation for family.

Once again, thanks for bringing this.

I think Mormons may be more prone to have to face these kinds of issues. We send young people all over the world where they gain language abilities and fall in love with other places and other cultures and, sometimes, future spouses. We encourage education and striving, which often has the effect of throwing us to the winds like seed being broadcasted by an ancient farmer.

My wife’s non-LDS family is all in northern Illinois, except for one of her brothers–the one who joined the Church, natch–who now lives in Arizona (and also the only one still with young grandchildren). In contrast, my (nominally) LDS family is all over creation. We were raised to be independent, and we’ve raised our own children the same way. As much as I (selfishly?) want them near me, I more want for them to be successful and happy and pursuing life with passion, and if that leads them somewhere far away, so be it.