Comments on: Stuff

By: MCQ

MCQ — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 08:50:15 +0000

Wow. I just read this post for the first time. Sorry I missed it before Kristine, it really is beautifully written. It brings back so many memories of moving as a child and sorting through boxes of “stuff” and experiencing all over again each memory that filled us as we pulled something else out of a drawer or a closet. I loved the poem too. And cousin Quin? I knew we were related somehow!

By: Kevin Barney

Kevin Barney — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:03:22 +0000

I’m definitely not the packrat type, but I do have a box in the pantry labeled “Kevin’s Memories,” which has odds and ends from my childhood. I must admit, on the rare occasions I pull it out and handle the items, the memories come rushing back in a flood.

By: Kaimi

Kaimi — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 23:39:47 +0000

Thanks for this, Kris. It evokes a conversation I’ve had with M. many times over the years. I like to hold on to things. Memories, reminders. I’m really not all that good at remembering, and my journaling is spotty. And so I hold on to reminders.

“That stuff is freighted with meaning . . . Our possessions remain possessed.”

I like that. And it’s kind of fun to think of my old school books, or pictures, or stacks of kids’ drawings, as being possessed. :)

By: Kristine

Kristine — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 23:26:04 +0000

Ray, Eric, it’s funny that it’s your wives who keep things–in our house, I’m the one who would love to fill a dumpster once a year. I’m glad if I’ve eased a point of friction for you. And, Eric, even if it is stuff full of meaning, it’s still a pain in the patoot to move it all!!

Lisa, my kids would tell you I’m not at all cool (“Mo-ommmm, all the other moms listen to rock and roll in the car…”) and I’m still very tempted to throw their stuff away when they’re not looking. In fact, I do throw out quite a lot of my daughter’s stuff, because I’ve found from observing her that her attachments are generally less fierce than her brother’s. I think it may be partly because she is so much more verbal–she tells the stories that are important to her over and over (and over and over…), while my taciturn firstborn doesn’t have the stories saved up. He remembers by touching.

By: fMhLisa

fMhLisa — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 20:36:31 +0000

Kristine, I bet you are just the coolest mom ever. I always forget to look at those rocks as the meaningful objects they are and just itch to throw them out when the kid’s backs are turned. I miss so many opportunities to enjoy the magic of my children’s lives.

By: CS Eric

CS Eric — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:07:45 +0000

My wife and I are in the middle of moving ourselves, and also find ourselves surrounded by boxes. I catch myself getting frustrated, because nearly none of it is mine. As we finished packing the old house up, I labeled some boxes as “stuff,” because to me, that is all it was. This helps me remember that, what is often just stuff to me can be memories to my wife.

By: Ray

Ray — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 03:30:14 +0000

Kristine, I have been married to a packrat for 20 years. Mentally, I accepted the gradual build-up of her “stuff” years ago, but I had an epiphany as I read your post. I need to thank you for that, truly and deeply.

I have had a hard time emotionally letting go completely of my own lack of need for “stuff” and truly accepting my wife’s stuff as being an actual part of her. I knew she holds onto things for the memories they provide, but I had not classified those memories as being an actual part of her. I have to tell you, for the first time in over 20 years, I looked around at her stuff and didn’t feel any inclination at all to cull out the oldest items or build a big bonfire or buy a huge trash can. I hope that understanding is permanent, but I thank you for the insight now.

By: Bob

Bob — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 01:28:20 +0000

Just hold on! When they become teenagers, they will break all your stuff. When they marry, they will come and take all your stuff!

By: Sam MB

Sam MB — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 00:33:21 +0000

Thanks, Kris. A beautiful post. I still have an amethyst bolo tie my grandfather gave me. As odd as it looks, and as much as I would never wear a bolo tie, there it sits on the shelf above my desk.

By: Mark IV

Mark IV — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 23:29:02 +0000

Uh oh, I must have impure eyes, because all I see is huge piles of stuff to get rid of.

The goodwill store where we live offers pickup service. I dream of calling for an appointment and telling them, after they arrive, to just take everything, right down to the bare walls.