In August, Kris Wright flew me up to her place in Canada to see where she lives, to meet her family and to celebrate my upcoming blessed event because she wouldn’t be able to come down in September. At customs, the guy asked me what I was doing there. Visiting a friend, I said. How did you meet this friend, he said. Church camp, I quickly replied. I hadn’t prepared that almost lie (we did meet in person at an Exponent II retreat) but it was like I was full of the Holy Spirit and knew just what to say. He let me through immediately. Usually those Canadian customs’ employees are tough.
I wondered why I’d said it. I’m not embarrassed that I visit people I met on the internet. I talk to them online as often as I talk to people in real life (I’m not supposed to be embarrassed am I?) and they know as much about me as anyone except for what I look like when I eat and whether or not I wash my hands after I pee. But who does know that?
The trip was wonderful. A peaceful break in the middle of my crazy wedding planning. Kris’ family charmed my socks off and I adore any and all time with Kris. I came home and then September came. And then I got married.
I got married in a Mormon church on Binney Street in Cambridge. It’s an old boiler factory, rented by the church. My sister-in-law Kate got a gubernatorial appointment to marry us and Sam (MB) helped with the ceremony. All five of my brothers walked me down the aisle. We sang hymns, Love Divine, All Love’s Excelling which was chosen by our Kristine and Come Thou Fount. We lit a unity candle. Kate’s sermon/speech was more than I could have ever imagined. No Mormon balked at me getting married in that church. No one complained about Kate or said no. Not that leadership needs to say yes to all my ideas but it was healing for me to be allowed to do this day in my own way, with love and support from my ward. Kate pronounced us husband and wife and I looked out over all my friends and family, most of whom I’ve know a long long time and traveled quite a ways to be there. And among them were my friends from BCC.
They came in to see me get married. Some of them I’ve only met once or twice but there they were, just to say we like you. We’re happy you’re getting married. In the end, I know them because I am a Mormon and they are Mormons. They are the best kind of people. They are my friends and I met them on the internet. An awkward thing to tell those mean Canadian customs’ agents but something I thank God for every day.
Random wedding details for those of you that want to know: I bought my dress from a vintage prom dress website. Brett bought his suit in Lima. It’s polyester. Three of my nieces attempted to throw rose petals down the aisle. Only one succeeded.I came down the aisle to Mendelsohn’s wedding march, my 5 brothers leading me to the next. Brett’s dad prayed. The photog got pix of both of us with our eyes open. Kate intro’d then Sam talked about unity in the Godhead (how can three be one and three? and finding oneness in marriage) then our moms lit their candles, they lit ours and then we lit the unity candle and blew out our own. One wouldn’t quit smoking so my quick thinking Brett stuck it in a vase. Then Kate spoke. Her talk/sermon was full of our own language and stories and poetry. And she talked about us as a couple up til now and then beyond. We read vows to each other, she had us repeat stuff and then she pronounced us husband and wife. Then Sam spoke about rings and eternity and our trying to understand it.
We exchanged rings, stainless steel that we ended up buying on the internet randomly from some company in SLC. Then Kate said I could kiss my groom. Somewhere in there we sang hymns and Sam said, “God bless the Commonwealth for giving a Mormon woman the Priesthood.” Half the group laughed. The other half fake laughed, pretending they got the joke. Then everyone went upstairs for appetizers while we took pictures. Then we did a sitdown dinner. A BBQ place called Red Bones did our catering for dinner. The flowers were ordered from the florist I know and love and told them to surprise me and they were absolutely perfect. Same with the cake, I told the pastry chef to surprise and it was also so tasty and perfect, though on the first go round the delivery guy got in a wreck and demolished the cakes and then the chef whipped up two new ones that arrived with plenty of time. Then we had a dance. And then we all went home. A very lovely day. The ceremony was of course my favorite and mostly all I had to do for that was ask Sam and Kate to be in charge. If you want more details, let me know and I’ll post them in comments.