I had no problem with the concept, but the application was a little awkward. You could not make these contributions in the usual way, i.e. the donation envelope outside the Bishop’s office. You had to mail them in seperately.

At a stake priesthood meeting the Stake President called into the question the faithfulness of those who had not mailed in their High Priests dues. I was deeply offended. These men could be full tithe payers who contributed thousands of dollars a year to the church, but because of a $50 or $100 contribution (I don’t remember the exact amount)that had not been mailed in he had the nerve to question their faithfullness. I stood up in the meeting and expressed my anger at the comment, but it still bothers me.

I did make sure my contribution was mailed in, but this was the wrong way to use guilt.

I also think it wouldn’t hurt to have a program laid out for missionaries to see how what they are doing and learning can be used in their broader lives. Part of it could include career planning, college admissions planning, those aptitude tests to determine what they are good at so that missionaries can use their time on their missions to plan ahead a little.

Following the Spirit is important, and can address many of the issues missionaries and returning missionaries deal with. But, there is also a physical and emotional side that sometimes does not have the rational tools to catch up and believe what the Spirit is teaching. This is where work by trained psychologists would be helpful.

As far as guilt: Mine comes from within, not from external sources. I don’t need anyone else to “beat me up” about what I am/am not doing… I do that on my own! It isn’t anything major, just a sense of perfectionism. I struggle to balance the knowledge that nobody is perfect in all things at all times, with the realization that I still seem to act/feel as if I somehow “should” be able to do it “all.” Guilt doesn’t motivate me; it makes me feel inadequate. However, I am better than I used to be. Christ offers hope to all of us!

The only thing guilt has ever done for me is to give me a really big stick to beat myself with. Thankfully, with a little age comes a little wisdom, and I put that stick down long ago.

the dad’s words made him feel so guilty about his behavior that, instead of motivating him to repentance they motivated him to suicide.

I don’t believe this. I think the sexual act made him feel guilty. The dad’s words didn’t help, but he only used those words to justify(speaking of Terry Warner) his already built in desire to take the quick and easy way out of his situation, just as he had done when offered sex in the first place. If his father’s words had that great of an impact on him of themselves, he wouldn’t have had sex to begin with.

I do not believe the character in SOG was shown in any way to be unaccountable for his own actions.

About five years ago (at age 26) after reading Terry Warner’s book “Bonds that make us free” and participating in seminars founded on Warner’s paradigm (Arbinger Institute) I was freed from guilt. My ability to live and let live as well as forget myself has greatly increased. Being hurt by others is by no means the greatest pain I experience in life, generally it is my self-victimization that creates the angst. I can actually say that though I feel regret for sin and desires to repent, I haven’t felt guilt for years. Repentance is more about becoming a loving and happy person than any fear based ideas I may have had. I also am much more comfortable in my concept of God and his love for me. I am persuaded that the book “The Peacegiver” provides a good example of the Savior’s love for me.

I am hopeful that those that do not feel “good enough” will also feel the peace that I have felt (for the most part) over the last few years.