Magic Underwear, Navel-Gazing…

Not to treat sacred things lightly, but could someone please explain to me how it is that when I buy a new pair of pristine white garments, for the first six months or so of wear they produce baby blue lint in my belly-button?

Comments

  1. Steve Evans says:

    hint: the dark color isn’t from the garments.

  2. It could be from some sort of bluing that might be applied to the fabric.

  3. Do your children have access to markers while you sleep?

  4. I’m pretty sure that only happens to people who aren’t really worthy to wear them. It’s like the garments are rejecting your navel. I guess we could use the relative color of our belly button lint as a measure of our person worthiness. Kind of like the Picture of Dorian Gray. Baby blue probably means you watch R rated movies (without nudity), use profanity under your breath, or vote Democrat. As I examine mine right now, I notice it is coal black. Out damn’d spot! Out I say!

  5. Does my reaction to #4 constitute coveting my neighbor’s wit?

  6. Are you tucking in your shirt? Does your belly hang over into your blue jeans, perchance?

  7. For the record: I do watch rated R movies (sometimes even with nudity), I do vote Democrat, and I always tuck my garment tops into my jeans.

    Class this one under “mysteries” I guess.

  8. #7 – I think my belly-button tea leaf reading got it pretty close.

  9. Kevin Barney says:

    Maybe it has something to do with blue Starbursts your wife eats in the shower…

  10. Kevin,
    You’re confusing me (and my wife) with Steve (and Steve’s wife). My wife’s shower-food of choice is watermelon jolly-rancher chews.

  11. re: #10 – Kevin, having never met those Brad mentions, is it easy (or even possible) to confuse them? Just curious.

  12. Speaking of new garments, is there any greater pleasure than tearing open that packet and imbibing the new garment smell?

    I noticed my latest garments (bought in London) were made in Chile. What heavenly Andean aromas!

  13. #12, Ronan, I can think of any number of greater pleasures, from Celestial sex (don’t ask) to DKL’s brownies.

  14. Ann,
    [Actually, I'm not going to go there...]

  15. Shower snacks, belly-button lint, what’s next, a post on the wonders of toe jam?

  16. Oh what comfort this discussion gives! I’ve been making fun of my husband for years because he always has blue lint in his belly button. Seriously, how does it get there!?

  17. Oh what comfort this topic gives! I’ve been making fun of my husband for years because he has blue lint in his belly button. It’s nice to know others have this strange phenomena as well. Seriously, how does it get there!

  18. Serious people actually study this kind of thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navel_lint.

  19. Mark Brown says:

    MCQ,

    That’s already been done, too.

    Look here, for instance, at comment # 35.

  20. Now when it turns blue, doesn’t it mean… Oh, gosh! Oh, Brad– You’re having a baby!

    Or your pant waist got wet when you were doing the dishes and bled into your naval.

    No, that’s stupid. You’re pregnant.

  21. Maybe if you changed them at intervals of less than six months you could avoid this problem.

  22. Mark, that’s hardly worthy of note. We need a full post by someone who can wax poetic about the beautiful bouquet, the tactile traesure trove, and the pleasurable palatability of toe jam. You seem like just the guy to tackle this project. Go for it!

  23. Duke of Earl Grey says:

    Finally! A forum where it wouldn’t be inappropiate to complain about those plasticky, skin-irritatingly abrasive size tags the new garments have had lately. I mean, what’s the deal with those?

  24. #16 — Yes! My husband as well! I just don’t understand it.

    #23 — I always rip out those horrid tags. How can one abide having something so scratchy on one’s skin?

  25. Does it taste salty? Mine always does…..

  26. #25 – Do I really want to ask to which comment this one was directed? I see three distinct options, and envisioning each of them is worse than my own recent TMI comment.

  27. Blue – male
    Pink – female

    or

    Blue – Base
    Pink – Acidic

  28. The garments are not actually white. they are originally a blue color and then they are dyed white. That’s why they fade to a gray, not to a yellow. Or so I’ve been told by others.

  29. Ray, don’t you ever get curious to see what your belly button lint tastes like?

  30. adcama, I thought that’s what you meant. It caused a spontaneous laugh.

    No, I never have. (and even typing that makes me laugh again)

  31. I’ve come to realize that there are many strange people in this world and that we are some of them.

  32. Well, I, for one, am edified.

  33. 31 – Yeah! Peculiar is what we like to say.

    25 – That is one of the more sick things I’ve heard lately. Almost as bad as choking on someone elses vomit. . .

    Actually, every morning I have some sort of lint in my belly button. Not sure if the garments cause it or not. It is usually blue.

  34. 33, I’m sure there’s a story there that I don’t want to hear (and yet, I’m strangely curious…).

    Belly button lint is always blue. Always.

  35. I wouldn’t know about belly button lint as I am the fortunate owner of a superior “outie,” but what I want to know is why the left leg of my garments always rides up. It’s never the right, only ever the left. Anyone else have this problem? Perhaps my left thigh is fatter than my right? Again, TMI…

  36. Maybe all this belly-button lint is God’s way of punishing us for abandoning the nylon, one piece, butt fly garments my dad still wears.

  37. Kim–Don’t think ‘fatter.’ Think ‘greater.’ :)

  38. Belly button lint is certainly a funny topic, but I’m not too comfortable with toilet humour in connection with the holy garments… What they represent deserves a bit more respect I think :-)

  39. 18. Didn’t find belly button lint at that link, but did find it at this one. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belly_button_lint
    All that I’ve ever wanted to know and more.

  40. 34 – per your request (kind of), here is the story on the vomit. Go to 1:40 for the actual story. Entire clip is quite hilarious, though.

  41. Re 39: weird. I copied the link right out of the browser…. Same article, though.

  42. jrw It was the period. I figured it out after I posted. Yours had a period. Mine re-routed to the one you meant. Picky wiki.

  43. Jami: thanks. I’ll have to remember that next time. Kind of a gross picture.

  44. #25 – I checked, but the link in #39 does not answer your question.

  45. Ray–Only Brad can answer that question unless he’d like to send out samples for brave, fool-hardy taste-testers.

  46. I’ve noticed the same thing with new garments. Of course, I haven’t experienced that in a long long time. Mine are so old that they are practically transparent. Plus they’ve shrunk to the point that the shirts are now basically belly shirts and the bottoms hot pants. That’s part of living in the “field” I guess.

  47. That wikipedia link was sweet! You could have started with that and abandoned the rest of the comments.

  48. In reference to the Wiki article mentioned in #39, I thought the most interesting piece of information was this:

    Dr. Kruszelnicki was awarded the Ig Nobel Prize for Interdisciplinary Research in 2002

    That’s all it takes?

  49. not the Nobel prize, the “Ig Nobel Prize”

  50. The same thing happens with any new clothing containing cotton. It starts to shed fuzz and mixes with your constantly-shedding jeans. Either that or you are not a True Blue Mormon and your garments are sending you a subtle message.

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