By the way Naismith (#48), I saw Juno, and I would say that the overall impression it leaves is that love, marriage, and parenthood are things to be taken seriously and not to be entered into by immature people (of any age). The title character is sympathetic, and audiences (and, it could be argued, our culture in general nowadays) are likely to agree with her decision not to have an abortion.

I work at a law firm that handles some adoption files when go sideways. In my experience, most often it is the birthfather that challenges the adoption. Usually the birthfather is mad because he did not consent to the adoption (even though most birthfathers that I have dealt with take off when they find out the girl is pregnant). Birthfathers seem to be quick to blame the adoption agency (including LDSFS)for the adoption. My experience has been that in all cases the agencies have followed the law as set out in the individual province/state.

The media is often quick to blame LDSFS for a legislative decision that allows adoptions to happen without birthfather consent. Afterall, it makes a great headline if you can accuse the LDS church of stealing babies. If people don’t like the legislature’s decisions with respect to adoptions and how they are handled, they should take it up with the legislature and not blame adoption agencies like LDSFS.

My experience is that LDS Family Services and Families Supporting Adoption are very pro open adoption. The majority of adoption literature out there supports open adoption and LDSFS and FSA have fallen in line at least since 2005 as formal policy, but ultimately leave it up to the birth parents. Our open adoption is somewhat flexible in that we negotiate and mutually agree to what type, level and frequency of contact we are comfortable with. So far no major complaints we are aware of.

Regarding birth father rights, it seems that most hiccups occur when a birth father has attempted to assert his rights, (which in many states must be done formally, as you are legally on notice of fathering a child if you have slept with the birthmom), doesn’t perfect his rights, or is late in asserting his rights, and as Andrew pointed out, Courts are reluctant to terminate the rights, even if the birthfather hasn’t properly asserted his rights.

I believe some of the problems occur not are not the fault of the LDSFS but the birthmother. LDSFS can’t contact the birthfather if the birthmother doesn’t disclose the name or contact info of the birthfather. Usually it seems that the birthfather wasn’t interested in the pregnancy or didn’t know about the pregnancy or an adoption plan, and the birthmother wants to keep it that way. Other times the paternal grandparents want to raise the grandchild, in spite of the birthfather’s disinterest.

You’re right; it isn’t impossible for these women to be successful–but every unwed mother who chooses single parenthood thinks she will be a success story, and unfortunately, all too often it doesn’t turn out that way. Plus, in the meantime the child doesn’t have the benefit of the sealing ordinance and the spiritual blessings that are associated with it.

I’m not familiar with the 5-year policy you mention. Currently LDSFS birth moms and adoptive parents work out their own arrangements that work for their individual situations.

You’re right about the emotional struggles that grandparents go through. It’s got to be a heart-wrenching situation regardless of the decision.

The single mothers you are referencing are young, poor, with substance abuse/mental problems. The women I have known who were able to overcome the stigma of single motherhood were active LDS women with support who went on to be successful in their life. From what I have seen it is not impossible.

Also unless things have drastically changed in the last 5 years; after the required few years of sending the yearly letter with the pictures is up; the adoptive family is no longer obligated to continue to do so.