it is not my fault. It is not your bishop’s, your parents’, your friends’, or your teachers’ fault. It isn’t because of a book you read, a study you studied, an article you perused, a blog post you questioned, or a scripture you examined. It isn’t because you have been lied to your whole life, you were abused as a child, God gave your mom cancer, or Bill Clinton became president. It isn’t because of blacks and the priesthood, women and the priesthood, the priesthood, tithing on gross vs. net income, porn, sex, boy scouts, homosexuality, or double standards. It isn’t because the church is imperfect, the church members are imperfect, the church is on average worse than other churchs, the church believes itself to be the “only true and living” church, or your mission.
You lost your faith because you lost your faith. That’s all. You made a choice. You can choose one thing or choose another. This you chose. You are not a victim in this; you are where you are. That I (or another) have made different choices doesn’t really matter in this. I cannot give you faith just as I cannot take it away. My blogging, such as it is, is an expression of my testimony, such as it is. As such, it may inspire, disgust, baffle, enlighten, or bloviate. It may or may not work for you; it always works for me. C’est la vie.
So, to recap, your testimony is a product of your interactions with and expectations of God. I don’t have control over it. What you do with it is your decision. And that’s just fine.