Stapers’ and Mark’s talk of bacon got me thinking… [poll=107]
To those who answer “yes”, I’m curious: should this affect our carnivorism (or lack thereof) in the here and now?
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Your (not) Monday poll #19
May 1, 2008 — RJH73 Responses to “Your (not) Monday poll #19”
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May 1, 2008 at 10:38 am
Based on precedent, won’t we eat fish?
May 1, 2008 at 10:42 am
Shouldn’t the question really be, will be eatarians in the eternal world? With no blood, will we need to eat period?
May 1, 2008 at 10:43 am
You know, I pretty much am now, so I stuck with what I like.
You know, if the lion is going to lie down with the lamb in the millenium, why would we need to eat meat either?
May 1, 2008 at 10:48 am
I voted yes, and I eat meat now. It’s a lost and fallen world, Ronan.
That said, I only eat meat that I kill myself. We have a small bovine hunting range nearby, and an abattoir in the garage.
May 1, 2008 at 10:49 am
I only eat meat that has killed itself.
May 1, 2008 at 10:56 am
Lemmings anyone?
May 1, 2008 at 10:57 am
I only eat meat that has killed Steve Evans.
May 1, 2008 at 10:59 am
assuming that we eat at all, I vote yes, we’ll be vegans. it’s ok because we’re making amazing technological advances in soy products. In the afterlife, we’ll just eat various forms of soy for every meal
May 1, 2008 at 11:00 am
SS,
That does not sound like any rational definition of heaven, although it might be an episode of Star Trek.
May 1, 2008 at 11:01 am
I only eat soylent green.
May 1, 2008 at 11:02 am
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
May 1, 2008 at 11:08 am
John, sshhhh!!!! Don’t tell my bishop!
May 1, 2008 at 11:14 am
A life without bacon ain’t no life at all.
May 1, 2008 at 11:14 am
And I think a really funny part of Fried Green Tomatoes was when Idgie was complimented on her barbecue and replied “The secret’s in the sauce!”
May 1, 2008 at 11:17 am
Soy bacon is worse than no bacon.
Why would we need to be vegan? If there’s an anti-eternal-lactation doctrine, I want to hear it.
May 1, 2008 at 11:25 am
#15 is right. I’ve been veg for some time. At first, I thought I’d try the fake meats. Fake bacon was the very worst of a not-terribly-impressive lot.
As to why vegan? I’ll leave the contours of the eternal world to those with greater insight than I have, but if we increase the numbers of female cows/sheep/goats/camels/yaks (pick your favorite dairy producer) to provide us with Cap’n Crunch lubricant, we’ll either have to manage to produce only females, or we’ll end up with a lot of male offspring of such species and not a clear plan for what to do with them, nor a decent plan for who will feed and keep them.
Hmm. Said that way, the problem seems pretty similar to the FLDS folk in Texas.
May 1, 2008 at 11:29 am
I voted no because I don’t think we will need to eat.
May 1, 2008 at 11:34 am
I was going to take the approach that all that is necessary is the consumption of energy, so we could be photonarians, or gamma rayarians, or something, but then if celestial beings have physical bodies, what would be the point of a stomach, esophagus, intestine, etc? The beauty of the simple question posed is that to answer it, we will need far more information on what it means to have a physical celestialized body than we have.
May 1, 2008 at 11:43 am
We’ll be eating perfectly cloned laboratory raised meat from a vat. “No brains were harmed in the production of this protein.” We’ll be able to eat perfect veal totally guilt free.
May 1, 2008 at 11:50 am
When we receive CELESTIAL GLORY, we will all receive a clear crystal wand which will channel spiritual energy and transmorgify latent matter into the victuals of the resurrection which will take the form of whatever foodstuff we enjoyed during our stay on planet Earth. Said victuals will not ‘digest’ per se, but rather dissolve within us filling us with pure energy.
May 1, 2008 at 11:56 am
My perfect state of Celestial glory will include a nice juicy steak.
May 1, 2008 at 12:33 pm
In the eternal world we will be cannibals. In the end, there can only be one! bwahahahahaha
May 1, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Lemmings anyone?
I voted “no,” but cannibalism is not at all what I had in mind.
May 1, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I think eating will be optional. Knowing myself, I expect BLTs will be on my menu with an occasional medium rare steak. Those who don’t especially like to eat in this world, I’ve heard there are people like that, will probably forget to eat in the next as well.
May 1, 2008 at 1:24 pm
We have the physical traits of an omnivore. If we are in God’s image than that would suggest that the eternal world is peopled with omnivores. And the scriptural prophesy that the Lamb and Lion shall lie down together, isn’t that actually stating that the Lamb (Jesus) and the Lion (tribe of Judah) will be reconciled?
And as previously stated if there are no BLT’s, it wouldn’t be heaven. Case closed.
May 1, 2008 at 1:27 pm
And if we eat, what will our poo look like? Are there wastewater treatment plants in heaven?
May 1, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I voted yes. I don’t think there’s going to be a lot of pig slaughtering in Heaven.
May 1, 2008 at 1:31 pm
More efficient digestion, and hence no poo?
May 1, 2008 at 1:34 pm
And I’ve thought this out before. I think that we will be able to eat as much as we want (how else could it be heaven?), but there will be no “waste” — all food consumed will be turned into boundless energy with which to learn and create new things.
Basically, the more we eat, the smarter we’ll get.
May 1, 2008 at 1:49 pm
[Lisa hands Homer an empty suitcase, which she has refused to pack in protest]
Homer: Ooh, someone’s traveling light!
Lisa: Maybe you’re just getting stronger.
Homer: Heh heh, well I have been eating more!
May 1, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I feel that based on reading the scriptural accounts of the millenium that eating meat will be out after we are dead and res. This is my general impression
The only scripture that seems to contradict this is the account in Luke when a res. Jesus eats fish.
We eat meat now because we are in a fallen state of affairs.
May 1, 2008 at 1:52 pm
#13–My country, right or wrong! (in the case of #13 video, so, so wrong!) I see your country-fried bacon, and raise you a humanure. (attn #28,29–poop isn’t useless waste)
May 1, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Brad has set the precedent. There can be no heaven without bacon and The Simpsons.
Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
May 1, 2008 at 2:10 pm
It this doesn’t make the case that we’ll eat meat in heaven, I don’t know what can.
May 1, 2008 at 2:12 pm
You know, I’m getting the feeling people may not be taking this discussion as seriously as the subject merits.
May 1, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Ah, yes- the killing floor! Anyone else seen Fast Food Nation?
May 1, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Oh yes. Fast food nation. Makes me want some burgers, huh?
May 1, 2008 at 2:22 pm
c’est moi?
May 1, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Our innards would function as a fusion reactor..like the “Mr. Fusion” engine in Back to the Future.
May 1, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Will I still be lactose intolerant in heaven?
May 1, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Who says we eat at all in Heaven?
May 1, 2008 at 2:49 pm
#35- I’m not sure how seriously we SHOULD take this subject. It is, I believe, pretty far down on the list of things I need to know and act on NOW. I think it’s one of those things we have no control over in this life, and probably in the life to come. I would be curious to know to what extant you think we should be serious about this and why.
May 1, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Actually, we might be like some of the Fruitopians, who only eat fruit that falls naturally from a tree, or the character in Samuel Butler’s Erewhon that only ate cabbages that died of natural causes.
May 1, 2008 at 3:04 pm
YAJ, I don’t think, from the results I’ve seen, that too many are taking this seriously.
May 1, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Yeah, Kevenf, I was responding to Jami in #35, and in retrospect, I might have been getting my leg pulled and not known it. It wouldn’t be the first time.
May 1, 2008 at 3:17 pm
I voted for vegetarian, but I think the true answer has already been given in the _Star Trek_ series and in _A Wrinkle in Time_. It doesn’t matter what it IS, as long as it tastes like what we enjoy. For example:
“Please simulate chocolate.”
“Specify, please: dark, milk, Swiss, Austrian, white, Hersheys, Cadbury…”
“There’s Austrian chocolate in Heaven?”
“If you believe in it, it will be yours.
Faith precedes the miracle. Those of us with the most faith will get the best meals.
May 1, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Clearly you people have forgotten what Morrissey taught over 20 years ago: meat is murder!
You should repent, even if it is just because of his accent.
May 1, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Oh, what I wouldn’t get for a Replicator…
May 1, 2008 at 3:27 pm
give.. give for a Replicator. *sheesh*
May 1, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Didn’t Joseph Smith teach at one point that animals would be resurrected? I thought the statement was part of D&C 77 that explicates passages from Revelations regarding the beasts of John’s vision, but I didn’t see the reference there, after all.
At any rate, assuming my memory is not substantively faulty about the resurrection of animals, does that mean that they’re off limits as human fodder in the resurrection, or only that humans will be eating only resurrected animal flesh. And if the latter, do they get a shot at resurrection #2?
May 1, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Um, sorry Yet Another John, I was kidding. Both of my comments. Forgot to include the winking smiley face.
May 1, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Jami, I prefer the sunglasses dude.
May 1, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Peter, He’s cool too.
May 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I hope our stomachs become fusion reactors that can run on anything, kind of like in Back to the Future. Wasteless energy from delicious bacon or anything else!
May 1, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Wow- I was definitely not expecting the results to be quite so evenly split!
May 1, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Only those in the Celestial Kingdom will eat, since those elsewhere will not be able to complete the digestive process properly. At least, that’s what I’ve learned since finding BCC and learning about TK Smoothies.
#29 – Brilliant, meems. I knew I was preparing for the eternities in some way.
#8 – That sounds like a great description of Hell.
May 2, 2008 at 1:32 am
Grace,
Count me as surprised too, although I suspect there’s also some facetiousness going on.
May 2, 2008 at 8:28 am
Yeah we definitely won’t eat animals, since the lion will lie down with the lamb and all that. For that reason, I chose vegetarian. But our bodies will probably just condense water vapor out of the air we breathe, split it into hydrogen and oxygen, and fuse the hydrogen. So we’ll exhale air slightly enriched in oxygen and helium. That’s what I expect, or else something even more sophisticated.
Anyone who misses eating the grosser carnal food and having to poop can go back to having a body like ours now if they want but ew. Who would?
May 2, 2008 at 9:04 am
Ahh, Tatiana. That’s such a feminine thing to say.
(I kid! I Kid!)
May 2, 2008 at 9:28 am
When I was in the youth program (formerly known as Mutual), we had lessons about how we take our appetites and desires into the spirit world, such as the addiction to
smokingbacon. In the sprirt world people will still crave it but won’t be able to have it. That it will be torture for them. Mostly becasue they don’t have bodies. That is why the resurection is such a big deal. I always thought “So then they cansmokeeat bacon?”May 2, 2008 at 2:56 pm
re 43
I’m a Fruitopian.
Hasn’t it been suggested that too much soy makes men grow breasts? Think of that the next time you enjoy that soy bacon. Combine it with a TK Smoothie and things start to get really scary.
May 2, 2008 at 3:45 pm
LOL, Mike.
May 2, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Nice, Mike. That just might be the most disgustingly awesome comment I’ve ever read. Now I have to find a way to give my brain a shower.
May 2, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Hum your favorite hymn, Ray. Then sing out with vigor and vim. I’ve heard it helps.
May 2, 2008 at 5:13 pm
My brain is stuck on Chicken Fried Bacon. And I thought *I* was decadent for thinking up using crisp bacon to dip in the guacamole.
But seriously, I am sure there will be no eating in heaven. If we had to eat, someone would have to cook it and clean it up. Which pretty much negates heaven for that someone.
Seriously.
May 2, 2008 at 5:26 pm
The purifying power of jalapeño bacon has got to be there. It will burn out the remaining impurities of life.
TStevens – Bacon expert.
May 2, 2008 at 5:28 pm
What in the world is a TK Smoothie?
May 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Nora Ray,
Look here, if you dare.
May 2, 2008 at 5:39 pm
MD–No, no, no. It will be like Hogwarts where food magically appears. Underneath in the kitchens below happy little house elves slave away refusing any and all remuneration or attempts to free them.
Happy little ministering angels will slave away in the celestial kitchens, sending their amazingly yummy creations up to those of us who have attained exaltation. Their joy will be full because our bellies will be full.
Facetiously.
May 2, 2008 at 5:49 pm
And here I was thinking I could get one for breakfast from Dunkin Donuts! Oh my!
May 2, 2008 at 6:26 pm
#70 – Among dozens of funny comments, I can’t stop laughing at that one. I am envisioning the marketing campaign, and, although “the willies doesn’t even begin to describe it, I can’t stop trying to find an even funnier, more awful way to advertise the Dunkin’ Donuts TK Smoothie.
I know I’m going to have to talk to my Bishop on Sunday, but this is so wrong it’s right.
May 5, 2008 at 8:07 am
I changed my vote. No to eternal tofu!
In the heav’ns are we all vegan?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a burger there.
May 6, 2008 at 12:00 am
In my opinion, the doctrine is quite clear.