Comments on: We kill because we care

By: jeans

jeans — Sat, 31 May 2008 20:31:37 +0000

snow white (#80) – I hope you *do* get called into YW someday. Non-”type” leaders are definitely needed, and your empathy will serve you well and bless the girls in your stewardship. Yay for staying strong even through some tough peer experiences. I’ve been there too.

By: Noray

Noray — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:01:39 +0000

Portia: I think this is what I needed confirmed. Thank you for responding.

By: Portia

Portia — Sat, 31 May 2008 08:56:35 +0000

To Noray:

As has been stated before, a lot of times, the youth that skip out on an activity here and there are the die-hard seminary- and church-goers. Not all those who skip out on movie night or camp think they are above that thing, it just might not be possible with AP classes, the track team, Seminary Council, babysitting, you name it. It’s about priorities.

My personal favorite was the badgering to get me to go on Pioneer Trek the summer I was 17. One *small* detail–I moved away a couple weeks after graduation to start full-time classes at BYU. Never mind I had tests, a job, and was in *college* — “you really should go on Trek this summer!”

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 31 May 2008 04:59:04 +0000

OBVIOUSLY missing is “The Spirit”. Also Love. People like people who like them…not irriate them with stupid games and phony gestures. Believing in a person is greater than Chocolate! I have spent my life putting up with dumb crafts, skits, people who say dumb things and often feel talked to death. I go to church because I love my savior and Heavenly Father, to support others and the church, and to glean the Spirit. I am BLESSED by it all. As for what a crazy YWs leader does, nope!, don’t need that, because she doesn’t really LOVE the girl as much as the calling. She should try listening to her instead of trying to convert her to the gospel of camp or YW. The girl may actually have a better testimony than that ..one of Jesus as the Christ.

By: Ray

Ray — Sat, 31 May 2008 02:54:12 +0000

I had 5 sister; I have 4 daughters; I have worked in elementary education and elderly care – two industries dominated by women. I loved each of those experiences. I thank God I cannot be called as a YW Pres.

By: snow white

snow white — Sat, 31 May 2008 01:04:17 +0000

This is why I hated YW. And I don’t think it’s a Utah thing, as I live way outside of the Jello belt. It seemed like a certain kind of woman was in charge, and they usually didn’t understand my type of person at all. I was bookish and not at all social, though I was very mature gospel-wise. Most of my leaders seemed to be the fun-loving social types, and they tended to view my lack of sociality as a reason to make me a special project even though I felt they should be focussing their efforts on the girls who were experimenting with drugs or sex but still participated cheerfully in all the lame activities. I also had a real problem with the reward system to the extent that I completed all my projects and then didn’t turn in my paperwork to get the little medallion. I liked camp in general, but I had a real problem with some of the hypocrasy there, especially my last year. I know that sounds really snooty, but it’s the way I see it. To start out with, the camp director’s daughter and some of the other girls were really awful and no one ever did anything about it. They broke the dress code and talked about smoking and what they were doing with their boyfriends, and I begrudgingly accepted that these behaviors were tolerated by the leades. However, when they launched a systematic campaign of cruel teasing against some of the other girls, I absolutely felt compelled to complain. I don’t think bullying or teasing have any part in the gospel, and it absolutely galled me to hear those same cruel girls blubbering their crocodile “testimonies” of what a spritual experience it was being at camp. I refused to participate. I’m sorry, but I didn’t feel the Spirit to testify that day, brothers and sisters. And so, of course, I was looked at as the bad one, the outsider who refused to join. I’m not bitter, really I just look at it as a learning experience in case I’m ever called to YW.

By: Steve Evans

Steve Evans — Fri, 30 May 2008 18:15:03 +0000

…although I think you were totally wrong about the Children of Men movie.

By: Steve Evans

Steve Evans — Fri, 30 May 2008 18:13:45 +0000

Jana (#75), excellent advice. Thanks for stopping by!

By: queuno

queuno — Fri, 30 May 2008 18:09:18 +0000

It dawned on me, talking to a friend last night about a similar incident in my ward, that part of the disconnect is a different expectation of commitment. The leader “expects” that all of the girls will have the same values and “commitment” that she has and believes is necessary. The girls may every bit as committed, but don’t see perfect attendance and girls camp as important.

It comes down to the leader having a better understanding of what the girls need and believe is important.

By: Ray

Ray — Fri, 30 May 2008 11:16:45 +0000

“The boys got the message real clear that they weren’t as important.”

I’m sorry, but I can’t stop laughing. I’m not disagreeing with your specific case, but that is the exact opposite of what I normally read in the Bloggernacle.