Going through my library the other day, I found an old paperback of Mark Twain’s The Innocents Abroad. In the inside front cover I had written the following:
Purchased on Saturday 16 September 1995 at the American International School in Vienna, Austria during a school picnic in which we furnished a display about the Church and whose only success for us was a little boy who wanted to buy an Articles of Faith card and a girl from Israel who took a Joseph Smith pamphlet and who, due to Church policy regarding citizens of Israel, we cannot teach anyway.
Einfach spass, gell? [Fun, eh?]*
Elder RJH
16/9/95 Austria Vienna Mission
__________
*Actually, I think it was fun, despite this early example of Ronanic sarcasm. At the very least we had a day off from knocking doors. The weather was good. We ate hot dogs and drank root beer. And we got to spend the day with some cool sister missionaries,** IIRC.
**One of whom is now KenJen’s sister-in-law. But she was cool before that.
July 17, 2008 at 6:56 am
Tsk, tsk, Ronan. Did you read this book on your mission? No wonder everybody thinks of BCC as the blog of heretics…
July 17, 2008 at 6:58 am
JNS,
Funnily enough, I never read it. I just bought it. Honestly!
July 17, 2008 at 7:04 am
Innocents Abroad is actually a pretty good description of missionaries.
Ronan, if you had somebody who wanted a AoF card, your day was more successful that 99% of mine.
JN-S, Shhh! Don’t tell anyone else (we don’t want heads to explode) but my MTC teacher read part of that book to us in the MTC. Twain details some of the difficulties of learning German, and some of the language’s idiosyncracies. On a day when I was wondering how I was ever going to remember the rules governing the sixteen different ways to say *the*, it was wonderful comic relief.
July 17, 2008 at 7:50 am
I love Twain’s remarks on the awful German language. Here’s a representative tidbit:
July 17, 2008 at 8:28 am
Is THAT where that comes from?! I’ve laughed about that paragraph before, without knowing where it came from.
July 17, 2008 at 10:11 am
A favorite passage from TIA:
from chapter 47
To stand before {Galillee} in the flesh–to see it as they saw it now–to sail upon the hallowed sea, and kiss the holy soil that compassed it about: these were aspirations they had cherished while a generation dragged its lagging seasons by and left its furrows in their faces and its frosts upon their hair. To look upon this picture, and sail upon this sea, they had forsaken home and its idols and journeyed thousands and thousands of miles, in weariness and tribulation. What wonder that the sordid lights of work-day prudence should pale before the glory of a hope like theirs in the full splendor of its fruition? Let them squander millions! I said–who speaks of money at a time like this?
In this frame of mind I followed, as fast as I could, the eager footsteps of the pilgrims, and stood upon the shore of the lake, and swelled, with hat and voice, the frantic hail they sent after the “ship” that was speeding by. It was a success. The toilers of the sea ran in and beached their barque. Joy sat upon every countenance.
“How much?–ask him how much, Ferguson!–how much to take us all–eight of us, and you–to Bethsaida, yonder, and to the mouth of Jordan, and to the place where the swine ran down into the sea–quick!–and we want to coast around every where–every where!–all day long!–I could sail a year in these waters!–and tell him we’ll stop at Magdala and finish at Tiberias!–ask him how much?–any thing–any thing whatever!–tell him we don’t care what the expense is!” [I said to myself, I knew how it would be.]
Ferguson–(interpreting)–”He says two Napoleons–eight dollars.”
One or two countenances fell. Then a pause.
“Too much!–we’ll give him one!”
July 17, 2008 at 10:20 am
#5 Ummm…that’s not a paragraph; it’s a sentence of unusual size. (“I don’t think they exist.”)
Five semi-colons, one colon, six dashes, fifteen commas and over 200 words. In one sentence. If I practice enough someday I might be able to write that kind of prose.
And except for the mustache and cigar, the guy on the cover could be a missionary, umbrella, book bag and all. Looks like he’s doing a lot of walking.
July 17, 2008 at 11:53 am
Ronan, I do remember this!! It was a great day! Thanks for thinking I was cool then….I am glad you don’t hold Ken Jennings too much against me.
Hope all is well!
Stef
July 17, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Stefani, we also hope you don’t hold Ken Jennings too much against you.
July 17, 2008 at 12:28 pm
If Twain’s comments on German are fair game, my favorite comes from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court:
July 17, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I think Ken Jennings would be good on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy.
July 17, 2008 at 2:08 pm
#7: “mmm…that’s not a paragraph; it’s a sentence of unusual size. (“I don’t think they exist.”)
lol…
July 17, 2008 at 2:51 pm
“Ummm…that’s not a paragraph; it’s a sentence of unusual size.”
I knew there was a reason I like Twain.
July 17, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Re: 8 & 9
If someone holds Ken Jennings too much against her, the only appropriate response is (thanks to Mr. Rooney in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off):
So THAT’s how it is in their family…
July 21, 2008 at 9:47 am
Austria, 1967. Out tracting, a woman said she knew all about these American sects. She gave me a copy of Sinclair Lewis’ Elmer Gantry in German translation. It was my first novel in German, which became a minor addiction.
Mission rules were somewhat looser then, I guess, which is why we had 2 1/2 years to contemplate the language.
Anyway, the prize for the longest sentence was the first page of Hesse’s Goldmund und Narzisse which was also a paragraph. But that is the absolute beauty of German. A single thought so convoluted and nuanced. This is not to mention the newly constructed words to enhance the nuance.
I think it took me nearly a half an hour to parse that sentence, while keeping all the clauses in mind and all the modifiers, all of the cases of all the nouns. It was a true intellectual exercise.
German is a language meant to be read. English is poor by comparison. So Twain (#4) has it right, but only with an eye to comedy. There is also beauty there.