It is my sense that women in the church feel our identities defined in part by the callings that our husbands hold. What are the emotional implications for LDS women of their husbands’ callings?
In reacting to a new calling for my husband, I have felt gratitude for having a righteous and service-oriented individual by my side for life’s journey, and pleased (not proud!) in his ability to serve the church so well. It is also my experience that there can be more muddled feelings–perhaps some apprehension or even resentment about the amount of time a calling will consume. And when it comes to the particular calling a husband is receiving, pride can work its way in. So I have some questions for our readers:
If your husband does not hold a high-level calling, do you ever feel self-conscious about that? Do you secretly (or not-so-secretly) take pride in your husband’s high-level calling? Have others ever done things to make you feel self-conscious about your husband’s service in the church? It is a cliche to say that Bishops are selected as much by the qualifications of the prospective Bishop’s wife as those of the Bishop himself. Do you ever judge yourself based on the callings your husband holds or doesn’t hold? Do you ever worry that your inadequacies might be keeping your husband from “advancing”?
For the men, do these sentiments sound completely foreign to you, or do you feel the same way about your wife’s callings and accomplishments in the church? Do you ever feel pressure to live up to your wife’s expectations in terms of your contributions to leadership in the church?
Important disclaimer: Of course I realize that we don’t seek callings, all callings in the church be it apostle or nursery leader are vital and important, callings don’t necessarily indicate personal worthiness, etc. Any comments “helpfully” reminding me of these facts will not be appreciated.