By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog

Le presentamos a nuestra telenovela más excelente y más famoso, traducido de las placas originales y ofrecido a usted todo gratuitamente.

We present you to our soap opera more excellent and more famous, translated of the original plates and offered to you everything free of charge.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Don Juan Valdez – the bishop of the Ensenada 14th Ward, “El Episcopo del Muerte”

Senor Jose Cuervo – the elder’s quorum president of the Ensenada 14th Ward, “El Hermano del burrito”

Senorita Immanuela Sophia Maria Gonzales – the Young Women’s President, “La Virgin del Ensenada”

Dona Incarnation Valdez-Rodriguez – The Relief Society President, “La Contessa del Empenada”

The Scene:

The bishop’s office, Ensenada 14th Ward

Ward Council

Don Juan: Does anyone have anything to report this month?

Senor Jose: The Elder’s Quorum has an activity planned. We would like to go fishing and invite some of our less active members to come along.

Dona Incarnation: Is there enough money in the budget for that? We just had a two funerals and a wedding reception.

Don Juan: I talked with the Ward Clerk and he told me that the only program that isn’t over budget is the Young Women’s program.

Senorita Gonzales: We need that money for the temple trip. We have scrimped and saved for months. We held spaghetti dinners and car washes. Please don’t take our budget away; without it I am sure the girls will fall into the clutches of the adversary. They may date non-members or study Simone de Bouvoir.

Senor Jose (to himself): I must have that budget. If I don’t get it, no-one will respect me at PEC. Perhaps if I persuade Senorita Gonzales with love unfeigned. (to Senorita Gonzales): Senorita, if you give the budget to me, I will ensure that there is sufficient Priesthood available to do the baptisms for the temple trip.

Senorita Gonzales: That is very kind, Senor Cuervo. But if the money goes to your fishing trip, how will we get to the temple. Also, wouldn’t recently reactivated Elders need to wait a while before going to the temple.

Senor Jose: Do not mock me, Senorita. I will have that budget; The budgies are calling!

Senorita Gonzales: No, Senor, no! You must not deny the Young Women their baptisms. They have embroidered Book of Remembrances (or is it Books of Remembrance) and everything!

Senor Jose: Do not try my patience, Senorita. If I do not have my way, I will ensure that the Young Men do not attend Etiquette Night.

Senorita Gonzales and Dona Valdez: NO!

Senor Jose: Si!

Don Juan: Senor Cuervo, there is no need to be hasty. We should all carefully consider which of these activities best fulfills the mission of the church.

Senor Jose: There is no need. I am taking a pedigree chart along and will fill it out in the boat. Saints will be perfected, the gospel will be proclaimed, AND the dead will be redeemed.

Dona Valdez: Senor, you speak with such force. It must be the Spirit.

Senor Jose: I know.

Senorita Gonzales: Senor, you can threaten me and withhold the Priesthood, but I know that my cause is just. I will guide these Young Women to the temple in spite of your callous disregard for other’s feelings or ambitions. [to herself] I love him.

Senor Cuervo: [to himself] I love her. [to Senorita Gonzales] You will get your way only over my dead body…or with appropriate ecclesiastical endorsement.

Don Juan: I have made my decision.

Next Week:

Don Juan reveals his decision. Also, a page is torn from a hymnal…by a two-year-old child.