Noticia!!

Acabamos de aprender el siguiente, entregado a nuestro hombre más alto del jefe vía paloma mensajera.

donfranEn un movimiento que se ve extensamente como una tentativa de conectar con su calidad de miembro latinoamericana cada vez mayor, la iglesia anunció hoy que ha nombrado a Don Francisco, el anfitrión popular del programa premiado de UniVision Sabado Gigante TV, ser su más nuevo apóstol, hasta que finalice su conversión y bautismo.

Un portavoz para el church’ el departamento de s de planeamiento y de desarrollo explicó el razonamiento detrás de la decisión. ” Don Francisco trae mucho a la tabla. Él es comprensión de los medios y entiende la energía de la tecnología, apenas como presidente Hinckley. Él también habla español fluido y tiene la capacidad de conectar con el Lamanites y los niños del padre Lehi. En el final del día, pensamos que él puede ayudarnos en nuestros sectores suramericanos, ibéricos, y filipinos. Miramos adelante a Abuelito que da la bienvenida Don Francisco aboard.”

donadminsDon Francisco parecía humillado con todo entusiástico sobre la cita. ” Sure, I’ el ll esté dispuesto a tomar las discusiones. Si son bastante buenas para Steve Martin, son bastante buenas para el me” , él dijo. Él también expresó un deseo de continuar la elaboración de su hogar de Miami, en donde su personal consiste en cinco jovenes y el femenino bonito “assistants administrativo”.

Desafortunadamente, debido al descenso reciente en la economía, la oferta fue contraída poco después del aviso inicial. La iglesia planea dejar a la 12ma posición del apóstol directo vacante esto con esta crisis como manera de demostrar sus medidas de la reducción de los costes. Están guardando a Don Francisco en la lista corta de candidatos.

In a move that is widely viewed as an attempt to connect with its growing Latin American membership, the Church announced today that it has named Don Francisco, the popular host of the award-winning UniVision Sabado Gigante TV program, to be its newest apostle, pending his conversion and baptism. A spokesman for the church’s department of planning and development explained the reasoning behind the decision. “Don Francisco brings a lot to the table. He is media savvy and understands the power of technology, just like President Hinckley. He also speaks Spanish fluently and has the ability to connect with the Lamanites and children of Father Lehi. At the end of the day, we think he can help us in our South American, Iberian, and Filipino sectors. We look forward to welcoming Abuelito Don Francisco aboard.”

Don Francisco seemed humbled yet enthusiastic about the appointment. “Sure, I’ll be willing to take the discussions. If they are good enough for Steve Martin, they are good enough for me”, he said. He also expressed a desire to continue working out of his Miami home, where his staff consists of five young and pretty female “administrative assistants”.

Comments

  1. NoCoolName_Tom says:

    Unfortunately, due to the recent decline in the economy, the offer was contracted shortly after the initial notice. The church plans to leave the 12th Apostle position vacant with this crisis as a way to demonstrate their actions to reduce costs. Don Francisco is stored in the short list of candidates.

  2. And thus conference attendance estimates plummet.

  3. (no more intrigue, I mean. Not because a Latin American was chosen)

  4. Rameumptom says:

    Golly, I was hoping we’d go for someone that would make really big news, like Elton John. This way, we’d make the Prop 8 opponents feel better about the situation, and also we’d have our first non-male apostle!

  5. NoOneInParticular says:

    Sé que Sábado Gigante es «el programa más correcto sobre la faz de la tierra,… y que un hombre se acercaría más a Dios al seguir sus preceptos que los de cualquier otro programa».

  6. I’m just excited for the things he’ll do for the sisters of the Church!

  7. NoOneinParticular: Your testimony brought tears to my eyes.
    But can an apostle say “Ay, Dios mio!” in conference? And how will the Church control where his eyes go? I have a feeling he’ll have a hard time following the teleprompter.

  8. I don’t care much for this Don Fernando guy, but I like those chicks that he’s sandwiched in between. Could we get one of them in the General Relief Society Presidency or General Primary Presidency.

  9. Alpha Echo says:

    I don’t get the Steve Martin joke. Can someone please explain? Thanks. :)

  10. SpanishChic says:

    Geez, the free translator program is poor!

  11. DKL–this is the one day you can say “chicks” because we all assume you’re joking.

  12. Margaret,

    Apostles say “hay Dios” in conference all the time. :)

  13. NoOneInParticular says:

    Margaret: I’m just glad to spread the buenas noticias: it is given to some to speak with tongues; to others, the discerning of the which of the gringo guests on Sábado Gigante learned Spanish on his mission.

    I think ‘Ay, Dios mío!’ is ok as long he avoids appending ‘y la virgen santísima!’ every time he says it. On a related note, have you ever heard Central American members exclaim ‘Padre Celestial!’ to avoid ‘Ay, Dios mío!’? Definitely my favorite taboo-replacement ever!

  14. Actually, NoOneInParticular, I heard it Monday when my husband and I home taught a woman from Argentina. She also turned to her picture of Jesus and said (and I don’t know how to do accents on computers, so just put them where they belong): “Jesus, este hombre es mi nuevo obispo. El es un buen hombre. Es Gringo, pero es un Gringo bueno. Estoy complacida tenerlo en mi casa, y quiero que lo conoscas. Mi nuevo obispo, el obispo Young se llama. Gringo.”

  15. Kaimi–bien hecho.

  16. Pedro A. Olavarria says:

    Would he really be the 1st Latino in the Quorum?
    Marion G. Romney was from the colonies so…..

    Perhaps he would be the 1st Judahite in 2,000 years. Time to put that Jerusalem Center into good use. If Marion G. Romney isnt Latin then niether is the Don.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Francisco_(television_host)

  17. Pedro A. Olavarria says:

    “In a move that is widely viewed as an attempt to connect with its growing Latin American membership”.

    Are we, Latinos, really that shallow?

  18. No, Pedro, but I might be. :)

  19. Margaret, I’m never joking when I say “chicks.”

  20. NoOneInParticular says:

    Margaret: That’s very interesting. Either it’s been disseminated across the Church internationally or it’s not actually a Church-specific phenomenon, I guess. Strange that I’ve never heard it outside of members of the Church. Introducing the new bishop to Jesus is classic, and excusing said bishop’s ‘gringo-ness’ (‘gringitud’?) is priceless!

  21. I hear the next apostle will be Cheech Marin.

  22. aaron brown says:

    Si no sabo espanol, como puedo entender lo que este website dice?

  23. It’s true. DKL has a chicken farm where he raises breeding stock. He’s very serious. Ask him how you tell the male and female chicks apart.

  24. I think it’s time to replace Lloyd Newell with a spanish-speaking football (soccer in America) brodcaster. Music and the Spoken Word would be much more hip and lively.

  25. Antonio Parr says:

    No. 9:

    There is no “Steve Martin joke”. Brother Martin took the missionary discussions during each of our missions, i.e., roughly at the same time as President Reagan, Lionel Ritchie, Elvis, Jim Morrison, Jimmie Hendrix and Janis Joplin.

    Speaking of which, I know someone whose sister-in-law’s aunt’s neighbor’s son is best friends with a guy whose serving his mission in the Chicago, Illinois mission. No one else is supposed to know this, but he taught the discussions to the Obama’s before the Presidential campaign. And get this — The Obama’s know the Church is true, but can’t join until after his presidency is completed 7 1/2 years. (This same missionary is also teaching Oprah). No way, you say? Well, wa-ay.

    Wa-ay.

  26. Clark’s right:

    I have a chicken farm here I raise breading stock. I’m very serious.

    The farm is in Guadalajara, where I reside in the student dormitories of the El Camino College study abroad program, because the buildings on my chicken farm have no running water, no sewage, and no internet connection. All of my laborers do live on the farm, and they speak fluent Mexican, which I understand to be a very difficult language to learn. Sanitation on the farm is poor, and I frequently administer healing priesthood ordinances unto my laborers out of love for their souls.

    Ask me how I tell the male and female chicks apart.

  27. Steve Evans says:

    How???

  28. DKL–that’s fascinating. You raise breading stock. I had not known that. I had wondered for a long time where breaded chicken came from. I think I understand that now. I’m guessing the males are breaded and the females are bred. Am I right?

  29. Steve, I have a large, flat-screen television in the barn with Debbie Does Dallas playing on it….

  30. Steve Evans says:

    Classy and efficient!

  31. Margaret, that’s just silly. Everyone knows that the females suply the breading and the males supply the oil. Then all you need is heat and hey presto! Fried chicks. Some places call them popcorn chicken, but the correct term is fried chicks.

    Now do you want to hear how we get Rocky Mountain Oysters?

  32. EEEEEW!

  33. Aaron Brown says:

    In Spanish, it’s called “Hilda Hace Hermosillo,” in case you were wondering.

    AB

  34. I’ve never wished to speak spanish so much…

  35. That’s funny, Tracy. I’ve never wished to speak Spanish so little.

  36. I’m confused. Is this Spanish or Mexican? I thought it was Mexican.

  37. I wish to say that I deeply regret the violation of confidence in #25 (Antonio Parr). The fact that Brother and Sister Obama are planning on baptism after 2016 (April 6th) should not have been revealed. Since my nephew was one of the missionaries who taught the Obamas (and the security was INCREDIBLE–missionaries were frisked at every visit–four times), I am somewhat familiar with the facts, as I am with pretty much all of African American history–which should come as no surprise to BCC followers. I request that #29 be removed from the record to preserve the privacy of our president and First Lady. Also, believe NOTHING about the conversion of Jeremiah Wright. That is an urban legend with absolutely no basis in fact. And special permission to use the Potomac for some POSSIBLE baptisms? Romantic as it sounds, the Church insists on authorized fonts. Also, John Quincy Adams used to go skinny-dipping in the Potomac, and it is thus compromised.

  38. Antonio Parr says:

    Margaret didn’t tell the entire story.

    When the Secret Service agent went to frisk the elder who is best friends with the son of a neighbor of my sister-in-law’s aunt, he, like, totally froze, and refused to frisk the elder. When the head of the Secret Service contacted this agent and asked why he breached protocol and refused to frisk the elder, he responded, “did you see that big burly guy dressed in white who was standing next to him? No way was I going to mess with him. No way.”

    Since then, both the Secret Service agent and the head of the Secret Service have been taking the discussions, although no one is supposed to know about it, because, well, it is a secret.

  39. The head of the Secret Service MIGHT HAVE already gotten baptized after having a strange dream featuring the “big burly guy” (and yes, those are the exact words). Unlike Mr. Parr, I am not going to violate confidences. Of course, being the resident expert in pretty much everything, I have already heard the story but was told to keep it to myself.

  40. I like the gigante banner. I also like how this blog is giving mucho atención a las noticias acerca de la biblia en español pero nadie has posted nada about the recent revelation on alcohol from Elder Huntsman and the potential of Trader José to be return to woo Utah.

    I also loved how la hermana introduced Jesus to her obispo–great story.

  41. ¡Muy muy buenas estas inocentadas! En Latinoamerica, este día es el 28 de diciembre y ya no recordaba que en el mundo anglosajón es el 1 de abril. Aunque sigo de forma regular este sitio, hoy me ha causado grandes carcajadas :)
    Gracias por este sitio donde se da entrada a la diversidad de ideas en torno a temáticas comunes a todos los Santos de los Ultimos Días.

  42. Holden Caulfield says:

    I usually on visit this website for the sidebar news items.

    But with AB’s—-“Hilda hace Hermosillo”…..I see there is more substance than previously thought. I’ll have to visit more often……….

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