Comments on: On Abandoning My Friend

By: Thomas Parkin

Thomas Parkin — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:08:59 +0000

“We need to heal this divide.”

It’s fraught with difficulties, mah brutha. On both sides, people feel what is dear to them, and deep with them, is threatened. There are some non-negotiables on both sides

There was a comment made in GD a Sunday or so back. Basically, when someone says something in class that we think is wrong, maybe really wrong, or even just in a style that rubs us wrong, that is when we need love the most. Because when there are unkind feelings, the Spirit of God is hampered.

Thanks for your thanks and well wishes. It does mean a lot. :)

My wife is a sex-positive / bisexual / pagan/ atheist/ sometimes agnostic. We do not always see eye to eye. *smirk* But, I love her dearly – and we actually have a ton in common. A very common taste for many things in life – for instance, being far away from other people in remote and beautiful places. There are some things about her that make my rough spots an easier go, and there are something about me that make her rough spots an easier go. I think we’ll be ok. ~

By: MoHoHawaii

MoHoHawaii — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:07:05 +0000

I have been disaffected from the Church for about 20 years. It is posts like this one that make me feel the tug of reconciliation. Thanks so much.

I want to point out that Travis’s being tied to a tree was probably not unconnected to his sexual orientation. Children have amazing (and ruthless) instincts when it comes to difference, and even at that young age Travis probably felt different.

Also, I want to thank Thomas Parkin for his comment. If it means anything, as a gay person of LDS lineage I also feel a strong desire to be nicer to Mormons. We need to heal this divide. I’m so sorry that Prop 8 caused a rift between you and your wife, and I hope things are better now. We all have so much more that brings us together than divides us. We should never lose sight of that.

Thanks again, Margaret, your kindness and love.

By: rd

rd — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:35:54 +0000

The bloggernacle is an interesting place, but sometimes a gem like this bubbles to the top and keeps my coming back (kind of like that 4 iron on no. 11 yesterday will keep me going back to the golf course). The post makes me reflect on my various friendships, particularly one with a very good man that has lost his faith in the gospel. While my failures could fill volumes, I believe an effort to love rather than judge or abandon that friend constitutes one of my life’s great blessings. Thanks for the reminder.

By: annegb

annegb — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:18:14 +0000

Beautiful wonderful post.

By: Karen H.

Karen H. — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:44:24 +0000

Margaret, not to bring down the very sweet tone of your post and the comments, but the first part of your story struck me…leaving a friend who was being bullied. I immediately thought of how many movies and t.v. programs show almost that very same imagery. The sweet kids in “13 going on 30″ and the classic scene in Veronica Mars, where she cuts down the kid tied up to the flagpole, even though the bullies who did it were seriously scary. I also thought of the times I turned my back, and the times I did stick up for others. Clearly this is a childhood issue that is so common–and other writers grapple with it as well. I imagine our characters are formed as we are faced with these dilemmas, mess up, feel bad, and do better next time. Oh the humanity….

By: Kathryn Skaggs

Kathryn Skaggs — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:21:13 +0000

Sincere application of the atonement, is always a beautiful thing.
tDMg

By: Kathryn Soper

Kathryn Soper — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:17:16 +0000

Margaret, thank you.

By: Margaret Young

Margaret Young — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:45:05 +0000

These are such good, sweet comments. I feel encircled by many friends. I’m reading _The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society_, which is set just after WWII. One section talks about a concentration camp. These are the words of a (fictionalized) former prisoner: “Elizabeth was my friend, and in that place friendship was all that aided one to remain human.”

By: Jon

Jon — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:23:03 +0000

Dammit Margaret, why you gotta go and make me cry in my cubicle. Thanks for the post. We’ve only spoken briefly once (at the Cupertino Sunstone conference) and exchanged a couple of emails, but I’ve always felt that who I am is safe with you. You exhude that kind of energy. Thank you.

By: AspieMom

AspieMom — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:47:10 +0000

I am also grateful for this amazing post. Recently my husband had to tell me something that he knew would devastate me. He also feared it might end our marriage. I must confess that some of my reactions left my husband wondering if I would leave him tied to tree while I ran the other way….How blessed am I that he was so quick to forgive and accept me when I turned around.

How is it that I am always receiving the mercy that I struggle to return? The words “a broken heart, and a contrite spirit” have taken on a new meaning for me. They are not just at the core of humility and repentance, but forgiveness as well. They are piercing me to the center, and I pray I never forget this feeling.