Comments on: For My Son on his 18th Birthday

By: aloysiusmiller

aloysiusmiller — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:18:41 +0000

I have a different philosophy on who can disobey the house rules. Those who are financially dependent on me live the house rules. Those independent of me live their rules. I hope they take most of my rules with them.

I also hope that they don’t take my sins with them.

By: KevinR

KevinR — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:59:18 +0000

Margaret: You asked do my 3 girls talk. I couldn’t help but laugh. Along with our female foreign exchange student all last year, I couldn’t bear all the talking in the household. And yes, they also talk out loud during classes anywhere, school included, but, I think, they are mostly respectful in addition to being somewhat brassy (or sassy?) in their commenting. My oldest at almost 17 was so very talkative when I gave her permission to NOT bear the burden of the unchaste thoughts/sins of the young men in the ward just because she is beautiful and shows off her nice legs and walks with a very feminine lilt, and wears high heels often. She had been taught (beyond what I would consider a good limit and balance, as I realize we all influence each other) that her clothes and modesty were entirely responsible for what the young men think. How awful, and so we talked alot about that.

By: Margaret Young

Margaret Young — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:17:06 +0000

Should say TOUGH.

By: Margaret Young

Margaret Young — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:16:05 +0000

It’s pretty touch, isn’t it Anne. But you’re not alone. It’s nice to know there are a bunch of us who are pretty overwhelmed. This is a conversation I just had with my husband, when he noticed that our son had turned off the computer after he (my husband) had left for a minute:
Bruce: “Why does he turn off the computer when I’m in the middle of something?”
Me: “He has this thing about saving electricity. It’s Al Gore’s fault.”
Bruce: “I almost swore.”
Me: “Our son was given to us so we could work on the Christlike attribute of patience.”
Bruce: “I almost said, ‘To Hell with that virtue.’”
Me: You did say it. You just said it.
Bruce: “No, that was in quotes. ‘To Hell with that virtue’ was in quotes.”
Right.

By: Anne Gwynn

Anne Gwynn — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:37:25 +0000

I am so grateful to read the letter, and to read the responses of 55 people. I have a 17 year old daughter, and son who are 15 and 11. I am 55 years old, and all of this is more than I bargained for. It is like, they were babies, then todlers, and wow, what has happened now. I am surprised, and overwhelmed at the same time.

By: Kyle M

Kyle M — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 04:16:44 +0000

It’s been great…I finally get to run the AC units 24/7! I hope any future babies are also August babies. :-)

By: Margaret Young

Margaret Young — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 02:59:46 +0000

Kyle M: Oh my! An August baby! Aren’t you lucky! I had two. A very pregnant woman carrying an August-due baby walks around with an oven in her womb at all times. I slept under the swamp cooler many nights. But your life will be deepened beyond your imagination when your child arrives. Please let us know. Or at least let me know.

KevinR (#51)–I have to say, your comment really intimidates me. I never really think about how many people read BCC. As far as I can tell, just over fifty read this little piece. Thank you so much for your extremely kind words. I would love to have your daughters in my SS class. We need more women! Do they talk? The two young women in my class never talk.

KevinF–I’ll never turn down a prayer.
I have been tremendously blessed at this time in my life when, interestingly, I feel almost biologically programmed to have a missionary son in the field. I have many wonderful proxies, and hear from them with some frequency. And every time I mail off DVDs, I also send mail to my missionaries. That’s several times a week.

Anonymous–I know you already know that the end of your brother’s story hasn’t been written yet. You may get a glorious surprise, or you may start seeing surprising glory in him even if he doesn’t do everything you’d choose.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 22:11:07 +0000

A beautiful letter, Margaret.

I can’t help but think of how my parents tried to work with my brother and to help guide him to the iron rod. While he did serve a mission, it does not seem to have had much an effect on his ability to live the gospel. He has all but destroyed the love in his family ( with his wife and children) through unwise and unrighteous decisions and actions.

I hope and pray that every family can experience the return of their prodigal children.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

By: kevinf

kevinf — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:42:19 +0000

Margaret,

When I read this, I couldn’t help but think about my own youngest son, who turned 21 this year, and should have been just returning from a mission. Your post and the comments were comforting to me, and my wife, who normally doesn’t frequent the bloggernacle, read this, and also felt much better. we’re striving to be patient, understanding, and calm, when everything in my nature just wants to scream out loud at this bright, creative, and otherwise kinda mixed up kid/adult that we love. I can’t ell you how many times I’ve read a post or a comment by you, and come away feeling that my burden has been lifted a bit, and that we are not alone in our trials.

We pray for our son, and we’ll pray for yours as well.

By: KevinR

KevinR — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:04:26 +0000

Margaret: You can’t imagine how many people, like me, read your blog and blogging comments all over the place and are simply astounded at the wonderful person you are. As I read the letter, I couldn’t help but think why the general church can’t come to understand the importance of teaching today’s youth all about the sordid history; today’s youth are ready and can understand and come through the whole thing, I think, with a strong testimony than the current approach by the church, which isn’t so current. The “current” approach is what I was raised on, all covered up, so that when I uncovered it, I have difficulty reconciling. You have taught all the “closet” things without guile, and I truly feel deeply that it is the best approach and will work out for your son. How can the church do better at teaching all that needs to be taught? What I wouldn’t do for you to teach my three teenage daughters!