Tighty Whities

When I was a freshman living in Deseret Towers at BYU, there were a couple of guys on my floor I instantly bonded with, since they too were from Illinois. They called me “DeKalb,” the town I was from.

One of these guys received his mission call to Toulouse, France. We of course were excited for him.

One day soon after he had been endowed, I walked over to one of the buildings at Heritage Halls where the girls in our ward lived, and noticed a strange sight in the parking lot to that building. There were tighty whities all over the place. There must have been like 30 pair. Some were stretched over the steering wheels of the cars; others were hanging from the car antennas or from tree branches.

On closer inspection, I saw that they all had my name, address and phone number written on them in black marker, together with various come-hither phrases. (Since my friend now had garments, he had no use for his old underwear.) I’ve often wondered what the girls who lived there thought about that. (Shockingly, none of them called me to ask me out!)

That was I think the funniest prank anyone has ever played on me.

What youthful hijinks were you subjected to–or subjected to others?

Comments

  1. Earlgirl says:

    Our FHE brothers broke into our apartment at Ricks and smeared chocolate syrup all over one of our toilet seats. We thought it was so funny, so we left it there, and just used the other toilet. One day our very upright and righteous manager (who was called as a mission pres right after that term) had to come past the chastity line in our apt for some reason and saw the ghastly sight. I’ll never forget the look of horror on his face. We all dissolved in giggles the moment he left. And we still left it there.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Oh wow. I don’t have a sense of humor, so people don’t generally play jokes on me. I am glad. I would have been mortified by something like this.

  3. I once lived in an apartment with a somewhat-broken microwave. It worked, but it tended to shoot sparks when it was running.

    So my room-mates and I broke into some girls’ apartment (they made the mistake of telling us where they kept their spare key), moved stuff around, turned on radios, and swapped microwaves.

    They reported it, but no one believed that someone broke in, stole their microwave, and left another one in its place. Even though it had our apartment information on the back.

    Apparently, nobody ever looks at the back of the microwave.

  4. When I was serving my mission, the elders in our district had somehow acquired various parts of a department store mannequin over the years which they kept in their apartment. One day after a district meeting at our apartment, the elders stealthily left the mannequin head in our freezer. I often wonder why they did this since they were spending a LOT of time counseling my already slightly unhinged companion prior to this little episode.

    (I can still hear the scream she let out when she opened up the freezer door and saw that)

  5. Steve G. says:

    It could have been worse, it could have a part from trannequin mannequin.

  6. Or it could have been Kim Cattrall – just try to get THAT visual out of your head!

    (however, Steve G’s visual is still more disturbing)

  7. Sidebottom says:

    I had a missionary companion who hid a pair of tighty whities in my Franklin day planner. Opened it in front of the ward mission leader.

    But he got one upped.

    I mentioned this prank to a 17yo (female) pen pal who was in the business of writing to missionaries. For Christmas she sent me a pair of perfumed panties. To my delight and the shock of my companion.

  8. On my birthday, my friend called all the BYU profs that I hated and left messages saying that I needed help with researching subjects that they were especially interested in. All day, I kept receiving calls from my enemies.

  9. “When I was serving my mission, the elders in our district had somehow acquired various parts of a department store mannequin over the years which they kept in their apartment.”
    ???!!!!

    Jill, that is really, really funny.

  10. Wow. All these years I thought they were called Tidy Whities, because they were so prim looking. I guess you learn something new each day!

  11. During my mission, my companion and I shared an apartment with another set of missionaries. One summer day, while doing laundry, one of them noticed a huge quantity of lingerie in the trash can.

    Anyway, I served most of my mission in Victorville, CA, and so we didn’t have to wear our suit coats every day, especially in the summer. But we did have to wear them to church and other meetings. So that Sunday, I was putting on my suit coat and, as I put my arm through one of the sleeves, a bright red thong popped out. I put my arm through the other sleeve, and some other undies popped out. Then I noticed a bulge in the suit coat pocket and found several more pieces of lingerie. My companion discovered the same had happened to him.

    The other companionship had moved out shortly thereafter, but my companion had decided to save the surprises they left for us. A week later, we got a sister in our ward, who enjoyed pranks, to write a note to one of the guys who had moved, in very girly hand-writing. She also kissed the note with thick lipstick and sprayed it with perfume. The note said, “Dear [name removed], This is so you will always remember our last night together!” The note was placed in a thick envelope, decorated with hearts, with all the lingerie and mailed to the missionary through the mission office.

    The Assistants saw it, laughed, and figured it was a joke, and sent it through to his new apartment. He opened it, in front of his greenie and their room-mates, and out spilled all the bras, panties, and other dainties.

    Classic.

  12. Sounds pretty gross to me. Those poor girls had to pull his used underwear off their cars? Yuck!

  13. Benjamin says:

    I had a companion who had a bad habit of walking so close that his arm frequently brushed mine. I was one of those who preferred to have a little more space. Finally, one Friday night when we were getting on the subway, I decided to generate a little space. As we were fighting our way onto the train, I timed it just right so that the doors closed just as he got on but before I did. I’ve never forgotten the look of panic on his face when he realized that he would shortly be out of sight of his companion. The only thing left for me to do was smile and wave good bye.

  14. Before I married my husband, he was easily flustered by anything remotely sexual and would stutter and turn amusing shades of red. My friends and I exploited this reaction with some frequency. Once when he was visiting (before we started dating) we shoved a bra into his coat pocket while he was in the other room. When he put his coat on to leave, he put his hands in to pockets, discovered something large and soft inside, and pulled it out in front of everyone. Much redness of face ensued. I think he tried to casually put it to the side and say goodbye as usual.

  15. JamesBC says:

    This may not qualify at as anything youthful, but my youngest brother got married last year, and I stuck a leaf from my parent’s fig tree in with his temple clothes.
    I thought that this would give him a laugh – little did I know an aged temple worker would be standing there with him when he opened his suitcase. Awkward. And awesome, really…

  16. I’m usually not good at pranks, but I got one I’m proud of: I was training my greenie companion on my mission. He was an awesome guy, but he was picky about haircuts because he was afraid his hairline was receding. So he bought his own clippers and had me cut his hair about once a month (who knew I had this hidden talent?). I saved that hair for a while, and one night after he fell asleep I snuck over and sprinkled the hair clippings all around his pillow. The next morning, I heard this: **Yawn** “What the…..OH NOOOOOOOOO!” It was rad.

  17. I shudder a bit when I think what could have happened with this one…..

    On my mission we were participating in a Priesthood Restoration camp out along the banks of the Rio Grand in New Mexico. Porta-potties were provided.

    The ward misson leader went into the porta potty. I got the ‘bright’ idea to drop a firecracker down the vent. Lit the firecracker and dropped it in the vent pipe

    Nothing happened.

    Not understanding this was a sign that I shouldn’t try it again, I lit a second firecracker and held onto it a little more before dropping it down the vent.

    FOOM!!!

    The occupant came flying out of the potty, holding onto his pants. He said he was zipping and belting up when he heard a noise and saw a big flame shoot out of the bowl causing his early exit.

    The Foom was funny, but when I heard about the flames…

  18. I was a real stinker in my teenage years. When I was 14 my oldest sister and her somewhat newlywed husband came for Christmas. I loved to tease them both and could not contain my urge for a practical joke this trip. My mother set up the sofa bed for them and I decided to add a few things to the room. I hid an alarm clock, set to go off at 2:30 am. I envision Paul stumbling around in a sleepy daze trying to find it and turn it off. Then, for good measure, I hid and set a second alarm clock to go off 20 minutes later-just enough time to start back to sleep. I figured after the second alarm clock they would not sleep, wondering if a third would go off at any time. They showed me mercy for not beating me into a pulp but I deserved it.

  19. As the prank wars escalated my roommate found that his dark red towel was exactly the same shade as red cool-aid. Of course, that is also the shade of the dye marks on his face for the next week.

  20. primary protege' says:

    Practical jokes are what made my mission such a blast. My very favorite was the chicken bullion cubes we put in our zonies showerhead after they tp’d our apt. Also, much fun was had with saran wrapping toilet bowls and putting Knox gelatin into toilet bowls.

  21. While in the mission home we slept in bunk beds. To keep the mattress from falling through the bed frame a sheet of plywood operated as a boxspring. One night some of us got the bright idea of removing the plywood from one of the AP’s upper bunk. The mattress still stayed in place, but only because there was no weight on it. His comp, who was in on it, challenged him to a race into bed right after apartment prayer. He ran so fast that when he jumped up to the top bunk he didn’t even stop to climb the ladder. When he hit the mattress, down he went through the frame on to the bed below. One elder timed a photograph perfectly to catch him mid fall.

  22. Jennifer says:

    In a conversation with my soon-to-be-endowed sister, my brother told her not to be worried about the endowment ceremony, but to make sure she kept a straight face when she was naked on the donkey. My sister obviously didn’t think it was funny, but the rest of us laughed for a week.

  23. At the old Ricks apartment we’d throw various objects over the door when someone would neglect to close it when using the bathroom. On one occasion a potato was lobbed over the door and landed in the toilet which was then flushed after everyone laughed about the splashing, etc. We all then left for dinner, only to come back home to a slightly flooded bathroom floor and an upset set of downstairs neighbors with a VERY flooded ceiling.

    Drip, drip, drip.

  24. I convinced an obnoxious Elder to donate bone marrow for a study at Johns Hopkins.

    I know nothing tops that, so I’ll just offer another one. Had a particularly nasty roommate. When the semester ended and we were all about to go our various ways, I let the other guys in the apartment know that I’d be making a nice dinner for them on Tuesday night, and they should invite their girlfriends. I broiled bacon-wrapped filet mignon, cooked up some mushrooms to pair with them. Baked some Idaho finest and had sour cream, fresh butter, and fresh chives to go with. Made a spinach salad with warm bacon dressing. I warmed up several loaves of crusty French bread, and had hot brownies with Cherry Garcia for dessert.

    Of course, the nasty roommate (who’d been nasty to everybody) wasn’t invited. I also knew that he wouldn’t get his telemarketing paycheck until the next day, and he was ramen-noodle broke. About halfway through our dinner, the nasty guy came in, commented about how good everything smelled and looked, and proceeded to sigh loudly while fixing his ramen. He even complained that he didn’t even have an egg or frozen vegetables to add to it. We replied and agreed that yes, that was a shame, life was tough.

    I realize there wasn’t a good-natured thing about either of these “pranks”, but man, they felt great.

  25. That would have been a good one for the Police Beat Roundup….

    Back when the first Gulf War was getting ready to start, I was in the Air Force at Gunter Air Force Base, Alabama. I was working in computers. It was never safe to go on leave, because someone was bound to pull something on you.
    One of my co-workers was on leave for an entire month, when the war began. I got an old set of my orders and doctored them up. I found out what his old job code was as a tanker refueler, and we created a set of orders for him to leave at 0400 am the morning after returning from leave. It did not give a destination, only that he was to return to his old job assignment and a travel bag would be provided for him at the plane. Of course, everyone else in the office had to review the orders, checking them twice, to ensure they were perfect.
    I then put the orders in a Holy Joe, and placed them about halfway down the stack of mail he had on his desk.
    I arrived at work early to be there before him, but he had already arrived, and was obviously reading it, because as I asked him how he was, he responded, “I’m not sure.” I let him worry for a few hours. Finally, as I left to go to a meeting, I let him know it was a prank.

  26. On my mission in Denmark, my comp and I discovered a bike path with a bunch of little toads hopping around. We caught a dozen of them and brought them home as pets (named ‘em after the twelve tribes of Israel). We quickly discovered these toads came pre-programmed. If you put them on a high object, they would all crawl to the edge, peek out for a few minutes, and then launch themselves off, all within about 10-15 seconds of each other.

    When the zonies came to train us, we put all the toads on the lampshade over our table before sitting down to eat, and then started a discussion on how we felt God might be displeased with us. We made up stories of weird things that had been happening in our apartment. They were just a little freaked out already when the first toad landed on a plate. And then, the plaque began…

    To get even, they thought it would be really funny to put a couple of the toads in my bed while I slept. I didn’t notice and rolled over on them. Yuck.

  27. Gained access to DL’s apartment. Dumped out half of their Shower-to-Shower powder and replaced it with white flour. This during the summer in Phoenix Arizona. After a few days we learned they were having problems with “pilling”. Who knew such a thing could happen.

  28. Lawyer Lady says:

    Wow, Michael, #24. I don’t think either of those qualify as pranks. They are actually rather mean.

    To the rest of you – you’ve given me some good ideas.

  29. When I was a freshman at BYU, I was at the men’s dorm during visiting hours at DT, sitting in the room of a guy I kind of liked, talking with his roommate. All of a sudden, the guy I liked entered the room with his arms full of water bottles, walked over to the window, and proceeded to drop the water bottles out the window one at a time.

    “H____, what are you doing?” I asked him.

    “I’m trying to get my underwear out of the tree.”

    I walked to the window. Sure enough, his roommates had dropped his underwear out the window and it had gotten caught in the trees below. Tighty whities—is there some unwritten rule that says pre-missionary Mormon boys have to wear those?

  30. No. When I was a cool teenager I wore boxer shorts.

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