Growing Up On The Blogs

BCC is thrilled to welcome Sunny Smart as our newest guest blogger. If there’s one thing Sunny wants you to know about her it’s that she peed her pants while horseback riding. She was 17 at the time. If there’s anything you should know about horseback riding it’s that urine eats the color right off a saddle. If there’s a social tip Sunny can give you it’s that you shouldn’t pee on someone else’s saddle. Lesson learned.

In light of the recent revelation on BCC Zeitcast 3.9.0 that BCC Permas can look back through all of a commenter’s participation, I have had cause to reflect on my own questionable and embarrassing foray into the blogosphere.

Much like a socially clueless, overexcited sixteen year old on Prom night I came on too strong and was all hands. I didn’t spend enough time courting the blogosphere before I pushed my unsolicited opinions into threads. I assumed a familiarity that didn’t exist. I didn’t understand the rapport, the give and take.

And I was supremely confrontational. I could pick a fight with anyone else self-important enough to take the bait (and there were/are A LOT of those folks). I could turn even the most amiable thread into a really unsexy girl fight. And I did. Again and again. And I loved to be right. Surprisingly, I was not popular on many (Read: any) blogs, got banned from at least one, got the threat from Steve Evans (but I think 98% of us are in that club… it’s no Skull and Bones Society) and was never asked to guest post. Anywhere. Go figure.

After a long (maybe 2 year?) break, I gingerly tested the waters again. This time I headed over to Segullah and decided to use my real name and act like a human being. After gaining some confidence in my new blogoquette I ventured elsewhere. Of course I still say stupid things. At times I think I have really awesome things to say, then recoil about a nanosecond after I hit “comment” (Where’s the “undo” button?). But I suppose that’s just part of the learning curve. For the most part, I’m simply enjoying the dialogue. I generally don’t take myself, or anyone else for that matter, too seriously anymore. I feel like I’ve grown up a little (She says while watching an old Homestar Runner).

So I’m curious, how has your participation in the blogosphere changed? Was there a defining moment that invited you to quit acting like an idiot, or was it a slow process? Or, to make the game more interesting, whom have you seen change? Whose participation as a commenter do you miss? Are there any blogoquette rules you wished you’d known early on or would like to pass on to others?

Comments

  1. I don’t think I have ever stopped acting like an idiot. But now, I wear it as a badge of honor, so I like to think it shapes a different kind of idiot these days…

  2. Oh Sunny.

    You’ve just tempted us far above what we can bear. Disclose your previous persona or suffer an ignoble bloggernacle death-by-a-thousand-cuts.

  3. mmiles says:

    Oh Sunny, I am so tempted.

  4. Aaron Brown says:

    Good to see you again, Brother Midgley. How’s your latest screed on Fawn Brodie coming along?

  5. Scott T. says:

    I feel like I am following the same pattern….I am only a few months old in my participation here at BCC (my 1st and only Bloggernacle website I’ve ever participated with). I have already regretted some confrontations I’ve made and I’ve certainly miffed Scott B on more than one occasion. I have a lot to learn I suppose.

    My goal isn’t to stop annoying people (b/c people can get annoyed over anything), but to become more respectful and sensitive to other’s view. As of now, I could care less about popularity. Being mature and respectful is important to me and will be my focus for improvement. At the same time I don’t want “seeking others’ appraisal” being my motivating factor to shape up and participate – if that makes sense.

    Thank you for the good advice.

  6. I see now that divulging my moniker could never be worse than the accusations to which I have now opened myself.

  7. .

    I’ve probably gotten more obnoxious, actually. You got a problem with that?

  8. Mathew says:

    Lyle Stamps?

  9. You miffed me? How? When? I don’t recall that at all. Seriously.

  10. Oooh, did I ever get in a blog fight with you??

  11. Aaron Brown says:

    Yeah, I definitely miss Lyle Stamps. No question about it.

  12. I can’t really think beyond tryign to figure out who you used to be. Do tell.

  13. You won’t break me.

  14. B.Russ says:

    Still a newbie . . . so I guess I’m still an idiot. I look forward to looking back on my current comments with horror. How’s that for existential?

  15. I have always been a model of good blogging citizenship.

  16. Prudence McPrude says:

    Regret is for sinners and reprobates. Those of us who epitomize righteousness know who we are.

  17. C Jones says:

    There are quite a few people I miss– too many to name. But the ones I miss the most are the ones who still participate in the bloggernacle, but have banned themselves from commenting on certain blogs because of hurt feelings. I’d like to see a few olive branches extended and accepted.

  18. Scott T. says:

    Scott B: here’s one example, when you said:

    “I consider the fact that the person who invoked MLK was against moral outrage against Tiger to be the most compelling argument so far in favor of moral outrage against Tiger. (I love me some ad hominem!)”

    Kinda harsh….If “miffed” isn’t the right word, then maybe “having no respect for” is better…I mean you you even avoided mentioning my name.

    If I’m wrong, I apologize. If I’m right, I also apologize because I probably came on too strong in other posts before understanding “blogoquette rules”.

  19. Karen M. says:

    I’ve learned that, just like in real life, I don’t really have much to contribute to conversations. But I still like listening.

  20. Mathew says:

    People don’t comment on certain sites because of hurt feelings? Seriously? Is that kind of like never darkening the door of BCC as long as Steve Evans is still bishop?

  21. “So I’m curious, how has your participation in the blogosphere changed?”

    I am more sarcastic and nasty because I am no longer trying to impress anyone. I was not able to impress anyone, so I stopped trying

    “Was there a defining moment that invited you to quit acting like an idiot, or was it a slow process?”

    Ummm, pretty sure I am still acting like an idiot.

    “Or, to make the game more interesting, whom have you seen change?”

    Dan (the good democrat) has changed a lot over the last year and seems to be less combative. I like to think that it is because of my good influence. Oh…wait…

    “Whose participation as a commenter do you miss?”

    Blanking on that one.

    “Are there any blogoquette rules you wished you’d known early on or would like to pass on to others?”

    I think I realized this early one, but it takes time for people to get to know you. We all start out as strangers and getting known takes even longer on blogs than it does in person.

  22. Aaron Brown says:

    Yeah, Mathew, it’s a pretty odd practice. I don’t pretend to understand it. I don’t comment on lots of blogs because of lack of interest, or lack of time, or what have you. But I can’t imagine refusing to comment out of “principle,” as if there were some grand moral issues at stake, and my abstention said something about my lofty moral standards, or that the blog in question had crossed some magical line in the sand that warranted my shunning it.

    What can I say? Mormons are funny. In lots of ways, and this is certainly one of them.

  23. Aaron Brown says:

    OK, I see you said “hurt feelings,” which I suppose is a little different than what I’m talking about, but only a little.

  24. I sometimes do not go to certain blogs because I know that any interaction I have will end up being ugly. I do not go to M* as often for this reason. Of course, sometimes I want things to get ugly.

  25. Researcher says:

    Oh my goodness, Sunny. I am about 98 percent sure that I know who you are, and I was just wondering the other day why we hadn’t heard from you in awhile. I think we had a disagreement or two back in the day…

    A couple of years ago I couldn’t go out due to the health needs of one of my children, couldn’t even attend church, and had a serious need for some conversation. And then I discovered the Mormon blogs. I’m sure I left all sorts of lengthy comments all over the place. (Yikes!) Now things are much busier and although I try to check in on the blogs, I rarely have the time or energy to express myself at any length. (Except on Keepapitchinin, of course.) But I do enjoy seeing some of the new commenters come blazing onto the scene. (Chris H, anyone?)

  26. New? Hmmm, I have been LDS blogging since January 2006. I am trying to figure out when I starting commenting regularly. Cannot recall.

    Sunny, like the others, this is now killing me. Do share, please.

  27. Researcher says:

    Oh, so very sorry, Chris. Perhaps the tone of your comments has changed? Perhaps some other commenters have drifted away and so you stand out a bit more? (I probably shouldn’t admit that after a couple of years, I still can’t tell all the permas apart, let alone the commenters. Perhaps the blogs need to print up trading cards with stats and pictures and memorable quotes…)

  28. Mathew says:

    Aaron,

    I dislike the fact that vigorous diagreement is seen as a bad thing, the inability of the bloggernacle to separate an attack on an idea from an attack on a person. The Mormon insistence on playing nice (which really means just being passive agressive) makes for dull conversation. I suppose if you see the bloggernacle as primarily being about “community” then this is an acceptable model, and indeed, is the model we seem to have collectively come to. I would prefer something closer to English parlimentary debate. Followed by dinner at the Other Club of course–which included in its rules: “Nothing in the rules or intercourse of the Club shall interfere with the rancour or asperity of party politics.”

  29. Let’s please not turn this into a post about Sunny’s past. It seems pretty clear that she sought a fresh start.

    There is a lot of good navel-gazing to be had here, and it would be a shame to waste it all on one person.

  30. Eric Russell says:

    The bloggernacle isn’t what it used to be. The difference, I think, lies largely with the absence of intellectually heavyweight conservatives. As such, there isn’t the same quality of dialogue going back and forth anymore. That isn’t to say there aren’t still intelligent right-leaning folks in the bloggernacle – there are. But a number of the super smart T&S bloggers (such as Nate, Rosalynde, Matt, Adam and Frank) will occasionally post and comment, but don’t get heavily engaged in the topics de jour like they used to.

    The result is that T&S has become a Meridian-like general purpose magazine, M* has become irrelevant, and BCC has largely become a preaching to the choir affair, where posts are followed by “amens” and the occasional lamely argued counterpoints which are quickly pounced on.

    Of course, none of this is anyone’s fault. It just is what it is. You can’t blame smart people for having better things to do with their lives.

  31. Researcher,

    Your perception is likely accurate. I am new compared to a lot of old folks here at BCC. I think my approach has changed (and I have been using my full last name for about 18 months now).

  32. Scott,

    Fair enough. I prefer talking about myself anyways.

  33. But the ones I miss the most are the ones who still participate in the bloggernacle, but have banned themselves from commenting on certain blogs because of hurt feelings. I’d like to see a few olive branches extended and accepted.

    Trudat!

  34. “The result is that T&S has become a Meridian-like general purpose magazine, M* has become irrelevant, and BCC has largely become a preaching to the choir affair, where posts are followed by “amens” and the occasional lamely argued counterpoints which are quickly pounced on.”

    Amen.

  35. I actually hadn’t even seen yours yet, Chris. I am on my phone and was referring to the earlier ones…

  36. The result is that T&S has become a Meridian-like general purpose magazine, M* has become irrelevant, and BCC has largely become a preaching to the choir affair, where posts are followed by “amens” and the occasional lamely argued counterpoints which are quickly pounced on.

    There is an unfairness and inaccuracy to this comment…but there is more than a little truth to it as well.

  37. Amen.

  38. My participation has changed a lot. I read the blogs in my RSS feed and rarely comment anywhere except here and FMH (and not often at either place.) It was a revelation to discover that nobody really cares what I think. Mostly I just stop by to see how people are doing. There are some good people around here.

  39. Mark Brown says:

    ….ntellectually heavyweight conservatives…such as Nate, Rosalynde, Matt, Adam and Frank….

    Oh Eric.

    Why can’t you be this funny on PBR?

  40. Eric Russell – that’s an interesting synopsis of what has happened to the ‘Nacle.

  41. nat kelly says:

    Okay, just what does this “they can look up your old comments” entail? Is it by handle, or by email, or by IP address?

    My participation in the Bloggernacle started with (and mostly still consists of?) slobbery adoration of fmh. I really like the people I’ve found there.

    I LOVE the posts on BCC (y’all are an insightful bunch), but the comment conversations aren’t really my style…. as I’ve described elsewhere (which you can apparently all verify). I mostly stay out of things, until there’s a great post on economic equality or something, in which case I get really fired up, and then the comments close with no explanation, and I’m really sad. :)

    I type a lot of stupid/confrontational things, many of which I end up erasing before they ever see the thread. I do post some of them, if I’m in a bad mood and want to fight (I think we’re kindred spirits, Chris…. you just have more energy than I do.)

    It’s also been funny to meet “bloggers” in real life. My GD class is basically a BCC session [hi Steve and Aaron! and more, I suspect, that I haven't been formally introduced to], which I think improves the overall church experience. :)

  42. Natalie says:

    Some observations:

    To some extent, the more I consider a blog a community, the less I feel able to comment critically, because I want to play nice.

    On the other hand, mean comments make me feel disinclined to post. There are some topics I will no longer post on due to the nature of the comments they elicit. My general discomfort with many comments has led me to prefer treating blogs like a newspaper–reading generally only the main posts, especially if the first few comments seem mean spirited.

    How does a blog balance the aspiration of being a community while fighting the tendency towards group think? How does it get new life? Should community be a purpose of a blog?

  43. “Perhaps the blogs need to print up trading cards with stats and pictures and memorable quotes…”

    That is such a great idea. Get on that, will ya Scott?

    “You can’t blame smart people for having better things to do with their lives.”

    Yeah, but I’m glad the dumb people with nothing better to do stick around in this here ghetto so we have someone to talk to.

  44. I comment a little less now than I did in 2007 and 2008. Yeah, that’s safe to say.

    Oh, and everyone can blame Steve for the two-year-long spree of . . . regular comments. He showed me the error of my ways privately when I was an obnoxious rookie. He could have banned me but didn’t. I appreciate it.

  45. nat kelly says:

    RAY!!! GET YOUR HINEY BACK TO FMH!!! WE MISS YOU!

    :)

  46. Steve Evans says:

    Eric Russell gets things nearly right, I think, or at least correctly identifies one of the possible reasons that “things ain’t just what they used to be.” I tend to think that there is more to the prior secret sauce than Eric lets on, but that’s for another day.

  47. hi,

    i’m mfranti. and i am still waiting to outgrow my awkward blog years.

  48. Mark Brown says:

    I am not convinced that the good old days of the bloggernacle were all that good.

    Sunny, don’t you think that the process you are describing here happens to people anyway, whether they blog or not? We learn as we go along, at least that is the idea, and so our past will inevitably be a source of embarrassment. That just means that we have made progress. As a personal example, I am mortified with humiliation when I think back on parts of my mission. I really was a tool in many ways, and I’m surprised people put up with me to the extent that they did. And I have no doubt that when a decade passes I will look back on my 2010 self, give myself a dopeslap, and wonder how anybody could ever be so clueless.

    Great post, thank you for being our guest.

  49. Sunny mentions learning to deal with others “bait” and her own urges to go fishing for a fight. This has also been a large part of my learning curve. Though I am probably still chewing more bait than I should via Facebook status updates and links.

  50. Stephanie says:

    Sunny, my foray into the bloggernaccle was similar. I used the same name when I crawled back, but a lot of people (CWC at least) didn’t recognize me for the same person. I had learned my lesson.

    Here’s my biggest piece of advice: When you read a comment and recoil or want to lash out, try to read it from different angles. Is she making a joke? If I can’t tell the tone, I usually just ignore the comment. The few times that I haven’t, I’ve felt like an idiot.

  51. ooohhh…

    here’s what i’ve learned from years on the blogs.

    1. do NOT argue with dkl.

    2. i need to keep to myself at fmh. it’s safe and warm there.

  52. MikeInWeHo says:

    re: 30
    “You can’t blame smart people for having better things to do with their lives.” Sour grapes, and a little bit mean.

  53. Mark Brown says:

    We send 19 year old men into the world and tell them they are to teach and not be taught. We spend two years telling people twice our age that they are wrong and need to repent and it becomes a habit. It’s fun to always be right.

    Blogging, with the instant feedback it provides, can be a useful treatment for Mr. Always Right.

  54. (48)-”don’t you think that the process you are describing here happens to people anyway, whether they blog or not?”

    Most certainly. The difference is the indelible nature of blog ink.

  55. Mark Brown says:

    Well, that’s a good point.

    You should take consolation in the fact that you are not the only one who is has said and done some dumb things in blogland. In fact, you have lots of company.

  56. mfranti, I think you should break both of those rules. Often.

  57. Mark Brown says:

    mfranti, remember that time a few years ago when you and I argued about something? (I can’t even remember what it was now, it was obviously insignificant.) Anyhow, like, three weeks after that we found ourselves sitting next to one another in real life. Awk. Ward. But ever since then, I’ve found it very easy to be nice to you.

  58. Cynthia L. says:

    This is a great post, Sunny, as I think just about everyone in the bloggernacle has conversations they would pay huge sums of money to permanently erase from all computers in the world.

    I like the direction Mark is going with this being a part of the natural life cycle of growth and repentance. The indelible nature of internet ink has forced me to confront my own faults more head-on. I have such a bad case of wildly overactive conscience (since I was a kid this has been a big problem) that I had developed elaborate coping skills for this. Mostly boiling down to repressing any thoughts or memories about my own mistakes, because they are just too painful. Blogging has helped me confront these demons and fears about my own faults and come to terms with them. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to still conquer my demons eventually, but being ok with the fact that they are still around from time to time has been a HUGE blessing for my general well-being.

  59. The blogs were a Godsend, and a breath of fresh air. I really hope people don’t hold my stupidity against me for the rest of my life–I know I try to be generous and give people the benefit of the doubt, and don’t really remember dumb things from 5 or 3 or 2 years ago. Of course, I don’t remember intelligent things on the blogs from 5, 3 or 2 years ago either. I’m all for olive branches. It would be silly to hang on to painful conversations that happened in cyber world for the rest of my life. I remember the very first time I commented on any of the blogs, and very much accidentally hurt someone’s feelings. I wasn’t even addressing that person, and was talking in what I thought were generalities ( I didn‘t even realize it had to do with that person). I felt really, really bad that I made her feel bad. I apologized, but it didn’t help. So I didn’t go there anymore.

    When I realized how mean I was, sometimes intentionally, sometimes very much unintentionally, or stupid, or insecure–or made comments on something that really didn‘t contribute, just to join in–the first thing I did was drop my moniker. Then I apologized to a couple people. I know I still own one apology. I truly am horrified at my behavior on the blogs for about the first 3 years. When I realized it, it made me wonder, Is that who I really am deep down? Mean and unkind just because people don’t know my name. Pathetic. So I stopped– I avoid certain places that bring out the worst in me, and I in them. And I just comment less. And really, when you’ve been around for awhile, you get sick of the rehash.

    But beyond embarrassment, I’ve gained so much. I’ve learned so much from the graciousness of other bloggers, and delved into things at all angles, often coming to better understating, and often changing my view.

  60. I’ve been passively participating in the bloggernaccle by reading the same handful of blogs (BCC, T&S, FMH, Exponent) for about three years. Occasionally I’ll comment, but I rarely feel like I fit in with the group because 1) I’m young, 2) I feel like I have unpopular opinions, and 3) There seems to be a core group of people who know each other in each blog.

  61. nat kelly says:

    Shelley –

    I’m confused about how one person’s opinions can be unpopular on both fmh and T&S. And, I’m young. Way younger than most of these decrepit old bloggers.

    So you should feel free to jump in more. :)

  62. One time there was big dramatic post over at T&S and I wrote the best comment of my life on what blogging has done for me. Then I clicked “submit” and was told comments were closed.

    One thing that affects what I write is that I use my real name. I used to go by mistaben, but I remember thinking that if Steve Evans could go by his real name on the internet, so could I. On numerous occasions I have reconsidered before submitting something I’d typed knowing that it would be forever linked to me.

  63. MikeInWeHo says:

    “….these decrepit old bloggers.”
    That would be me. At 45, apparently I am among the oldest regular BCC participants. Yikes. Is there anybody here over 50???

    More seriously: I have grown so much by blogging. My writing has improved. I’ve made great new friends. It’s all good!

  64. Mommie Dearest says:

    Um, yes. There are people older than you on here. Thanks for the fashion tips, btw.

    When I first discovered lds blogs (I forget the date, I’m bad about dates), I used to go to FMH a lot and read in fascination, and sometimes I’d try to lecture all those young moms over there on how they were doing it wrong. I didn’t like being frostily ignored. I hope I’ve improved since then. I also really didn’t like re-reading my own mean words and not being able to erase them. I developed a habit of writing my comments on my notepad and editing before I hit the dreaded Submit button. (That really helps your writing)

    I have learned things about what people really think from the bloggernacle that wouldn’t usually be shared at church, and I’m grateful for that. Even though I may think differently. I find that I tend to be a strange mix of conservative and liberal, whatever those mean to you. And I still don’t like being frostily ignored, and I totally relate to being “self-important enough to take the bait.”

    For the record, I’m still on my learning curve.

  65. living in zion says:

    I am an old fart, in comparison to #63, #64. MikeinWeHo – Thank you for pointing out the error in my fashion ways, but trust me at my age and body type, you WANT to see me in a skirt that falls below the knee. (Go to People of Wal-Mart to confirm and be grateful for Mormon Modesty).

    I don’t do FMH for the same reason Mommie Dearest stated. I am too old for heated discussions about potty training. It is sometimes like the blind leading the blind.

    Accually, now that I reread for the 4th time what Mommie Dearest posted, take out her name and put mine in.

    Amen.

    P.S. I plan on keeping my blog name because I thought it up myself and I think it’s clever. And once I did get into a heated debate with DKL on Mormon Mentality and I wore him into utter silence. It felt great. Either that, or he got tired of suffering a fool. I still count it as a win because I got the last word. I can be petty like that.

  66. #63: I am 65. I’ve have ties older than you. (That would be the only thing that still fits).
    ‘Kids’____bring it. ( & DKL, you too).

  67. Researcher–did the Bloggernaccle Trading Cards pre-date you? There used to be more than these two, but I can’t find them. They were funny, though.

  68. I’ve been occasionally reading this blog for a few years until I decided to jump in an comment on something. Said so many stupid things, felt like an idiot, didn’t realize that people here actually know each other very well in real life, wished for a “delete” button (still do), changed my name, but I keep coming back because I like the discussions, and some of the things said here have had a major influence on my views (for better).

  69. “didn’t realize that people here actually know each other very well in real life,”

    This is the case for many (at least among permas). However, I have found that Facebook has changed my blogging experience. I have met a number of bloggernacle-types in the last year or so, but many I have gotten to know a bit through Facebook. This has helped me see a more human side to these names.

  70. Stephanie says:

    I don’t do FMH for the same reason Mommie Dearest stated. I am too old for heated discussions about potty training. It is sometimes like the blind leading the blind.

    Is that really how we are perceived?

  71. Oh, no, Stephanie. The majority of us still see you as humorless, unrepentant man-haters. ;)

    (My extensive Bloggernacle experience has taught me to use emoticons in these situations, regardless of how much it pains me to do so.)

  72. MikeInWeHo says:

    “I will now be unable to walk down a street anywhere in the world without the paranoid fear that I’m provoking fits of scornful laughter.”

    “Thanks for the fashion tips, btw.”

    “Thank you for pointing out the error in my fashion ways….”

    Oh no. I knew I’d never get through the zeitcast without mouthing off. (Banging head gently down on desk at work…..)

  73. living in zion says:

    MikeInWeHo- Please don’t bruise your forehead over us silly, sensitive women. Your interviews were delightful and I consider you a friend. And of course, your insights on fashion make perfect sense now that you are offically “out”. All my best haircuts and clothing tips have come from my gay friends. It is a gift, don’t hide your light under a bush.

    #71 Stephanie, I am old. I am not your target audience. The good news is my young adult daughters quote ya’ll regularly. You can’t be everything to everyone and especially not when a hot topic with my friends revolves around what the latest thing their doctor said. Saddest thing is, I really am interested their last check up. Sigh….

  74. Yeah, Mike. Don’t hide your light under a bush.

  75. B.Russ says:

    don’t hide your light under a bush.

    Because then the bush will catch on fire, and some wacko will come along and think that God is speaking from it, and then it’ll start a forest fire. Seriously, no good will come of it.

    I wouldn’t hide it under a bushel either, fwiw. But really don’t hide it under a bush!

  76. Just wanted to say I’ve really enjoyed this thread. It’s nice to see others admit to being an ass at one time or another. Makes me feel not so lonely. Sometimes a good group confession is a great palate cleanser.

    Some important take away lessons:

    - (2) KLS has a disturbing side and I think I’m in love.

    - (15) Humility is for the weak and unenlightened among us.

    - (21) Chris is really funny and I think I’m in love.

    -(25) Researcher wins. And best of all, someone I used to antagonize the hell out of is apparently a good enough person to not out me in this thread. Thanks, Researcher. And sorry for being such a jerk so much of the time.

    - We miss our uber-conservative brothers and sisters.

    -Most of us have “hot spots” we’ve learned to avoid, be they certain blogs or just certain topics.

    -Cynthia(58) said it best: “I think just about everyone in the bloggernacle has conversations they would pay huge sums of money to permanently erase from all computers in the world.” I think we can all rest easier knowing we can always dig up dirt on other people.

    -(68) The trading cards should definitely make a comeback!

  77. (75)- Mostly because man-scaping is the way to go.

  78. “remember that time a few years ago when you and I argued about something?”

    we argued? i totally can’t imagine that. (i’ll admit, i have a really short memory when it comes to blogversations).

    “Way younger than most of these decrepit old bloggers.”

    i’ll admit to being old and past my prime but I AM NOT decrepit. I’ve got a lot of good miles left in me. I still play as hard as i did when I WAS YOUR AGE.

  79. My “growing up” has meant, unfortunately, not participating as much as I’d like to due to school. I hope to do better at that, though, since I now have thesis-writing time to kill…

    But, more to the point, I have definitely mellowed in tone, the same as you outlined about your own experience and as everyone else (Chris H excepted) echoed. I can at least take pride in knowing I haven’t even been threatened banishment yet…

  80. Kristine says:

    Also, for those of you who are intimidated by the fact that some of us know each other–keep in mind that we didn’t know each other irl until long after we started blogging. We jumped in and felt new and dumb, too. (At least I did. I remember one day crying in rage because I was sure I was right about something-or-other and I was fighting with Nate Oman about it, and he was just so. much. smarter. than. I. am.–still makes me mad sometimes, only now there are a lot more people who are a lot more smarter…) Yes, the party has been going on for a while, but you ARE emphatically invited to come in and mingle. If you like it enough to hang around for a while, then you belong.

  81. Kristine says:

    (just don’t ask to change the music first thing, or hog all the chips)

  82. Steve Evans says:

    Speak for yourself, Haglund. I never felt dumb.

  83. I don’t know hardly any of these people in real life. Based on the very small sample I’ve got, they’re great folks.

  84. nat kelly says:

    …………. Just for the record (can we officially use ftr for an acronym there, yet?), I’ve been obsessed with fMh for almost two years and have not once been involved in a discussion about potty training.

    Unrepentant man-hating, however. I do that every day. :)

  85. Mommie Dearest says:

    FTR I have a great deal of respect for FMH. From reading threads over there I have learned to understand feminism as a great thing in my life, but I just don’t feel like I have a whole lot to add to the real heavyweights (metaphorically speaking of course) over there. I hope my respect shows in my occasional comment. And y’all do your potty training and diapering and nose wiping just fine, IMO. I love reading about that too.

    And Mike, we love the fashion chat. Your Tim Gunn delivery was nothing to regret. (Once I had a dream about Tim Gunn watching me with approval as I wiped my bathroom vanity–but now I’m rambling…)

  86. A lot of my comments are said in jest, and I don’t necessarily make it obvious most of the time. So I probably do come off as an idiot.

    I’ve stopped participating much on the group LDS blogs.

  87. And I miss your participation, Susan.

    My comments now are more terse than before. I feel, looking back, that I was a little too excited at first. Now I’m jaded and bitter, just as it should be.

    Who do I miss? Well, obviously Prudence, and I was glad she made an appearance here today. Since MM started I miss anne and dkl’s comments. And in a bizarre way I miss FSF Steve (?was that his name??) His comments were like car wrecks, and I just couldn’t look away. I’d always finish his comments with “wha…?!?”

    Hmm. The blogoquette rules I wish I’d know would be to not be so sincere I guess. I spilled my guts a few times way back when. Now, if i comment, I’m a little less feelings-on-my-sleeve. Well, I try to be. Sometimes I forget and get a little emotional still.

    I would LOVE to meet some of the bloggers here irl. This is a great community and I really basically love everyone here!

  88. Oh yeah – and who do I also REally miss? I miss Ronan and Rebecca. I know they’re still around, but not as much.

  89. @51 mfranti said
    ” i need to keep to myself at fmh. it’s safe and warm there.”

    Oh my goodness is that funny. The last really big foray I saw you make was when you held my hand as you lead me out of damnation alley (though not totally unscathed).

    Biggest lesson I learned — some points, while possibly true, simply aren’t worth being made.

  90. “The blogoquette rules I wish I’d know would be to not be so sincere I guess. I spilled my guts a few times way back when.”

    You know, that’s the one really good argument for remaining anonymous. I’ve learned a lot from people sharing things they otherwise wouldn’t.

    But, you stick your sensitive spots out there and somebody’s going to rub them…

  91. Eric Russell says:

    meems, Steve EM still posts occasionally. His blog is the only LDS related blog I am aware of that has a comment policy that includes such gems as “Coarse langauge is welcome”, “ad hominem arguments are permitted when intermingled with something germane to the discussion” and “things may occasionally slide into the R, NC-17 or X categories.”

  92. Comment #48, Mark Brown wrote:

    I am not convinced that the good old days of the bloggernacle were all that good.

    Back then the sun was always shining and we walked downhill both ways.

  93. B.Russ says:

    Back then the sun was always shining and we walked downhill both ways.

    And the sucking liberal would play on the hole of the conservative, and the weaned Democrat would put his hand on the Republican’s den.

  94. Adam Greenwood says:

    I’m not commenting in this thread as a matter of principle.

  95. B.Russ says:

    I’m not commenting in this thread as a matter of principle.

    Sticking to Principles Fail.

  96. Adam Greenwood says:

    “Sticking to Principles Fail.”

    Not at all. My comment #95 was not made as a matter of principle.

  97. MikeInWeHo says:

    Coherent Syntax Fail.

  98. If there was a nominate for a future Niblet button, I’d hit it for comment #94.

  99. Martin says:

    Amen. I loved the missing “L” in “sucking”…

  100. B.Russ says:

    100, wish I could claim that as my wit, but its sucking in Isaiah, not suckling.

  101. “its sucking in Isaiah”

    Yes. Yes, it is.

  102. I was distracted by other things for a while. Now that I am interested in the bloggernacle again, as much as I want to participate like I used to, I find that the strenuous trifecta of work (mid-level litigation associate means depositions, depositions, depositions, which is nice only in that sometimes I get to meet bloggernaclers for dinner when I travel), family (six kids with twins at the end is a lot of work- who knew?) and church just sucks all my “extra” time away.

    I still love checking in to the bloggernacle when I have time, though! Ya’ll rock!

  103. I will say that it is interesting how my views have evolved since I started in the ‘nacle, well, before it was called that, but I won’t elaborate.

    I miss Lyle Stamps. That guy used to be the number one commenter on T&S – then just disappeared sometime after Bush won in 2004. Remember “mormons4bush”? LOL – that guy drove me nuts but I loved him.

  104. Marjorie Conder says:

    I keep looking, but I think I am the oldest one out here. I found the Bloggernacle several years ago shortly before I retired from the Church Museum as a curator. Also, last year we celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. The Bloggernacle has been my lifeline to ideas since I retired. I have always used my real name (it keeps me honest and hopefully not too obnoxious.) I have met a few of you IRL. I wish I knew more of you. Thank you for being kind and generous to this old dinosaur.

  105. Marjorie, meeting you at the Museum before your retirement is a fond memory. Even though it was replaced with a wonderful exhibit, I was quite sad to see your RS exhibit gone when I last visited.

  106. mmiles says:

    Adam Greenwood, We need you.

  107. Where have you gone, Adam Greenwood?
    The ‘Nacle turns it’s lonely eyes to you,
    Ooh, ooh, ooh…

  108. Researcher says:

    Thanks for the link to the trading cards, ESO. Those are great, but yes, they must be several years old.

    I win, Sunny? Oh my. You’re so sweet. [Snicker.] You were a foeman worth the steel, and things just weren’t the same when you stopped commenting. Glad to see you back.

  109. I am still in that awkward phase where if I meet a Mormon IRL, I eagerly ask if they are familiar with a bloggernacle, which I imagine is roughly like asking the Chinese foreign exchange student if he knows that one guy Chang… Other than that I would say that I’ve experienced this dramatic shift due to y’all. I think the trajectory went something like this:
    1)Mormons are insane but fascinating 2) Mormons are as insane as any other religion and still fascinating, but don’t worry secular friends I am just studying from afar 3) ok, Mormonism is actually a little more crazy than mainstream Christianity but I’m still fascinated 4) Prop 8 explosion and heartbreak 5) I have a testimony that I love my Mo friends and I’ll “put in the shelf” my feelings for the Church 6) Holy Hell, I’m starting to talk like them 7) radical acceptance for being an atheist/queer/liberal Wyoming woman who adores and advocates for Mormons.
    77 2a) back off, Sunny, she’s mine.

  110. 110- “77 2a) back off, Sunny, she’s mine.” – I think I’m in love.

  111. I think my comments have probably been fairly consistent over the 5 years (!) I’ve been on the bloggernacle. In the beginning I used to engage in longer back and forth discussions, but it’s hilarious to think someone might consider banning me or anything like that. Now, I am more likely to simply state my opinion and leave it there.
    I’d say it is perhaps disappointing to me that I don’t manage to make online friends. I chalk it up to my natural reserve. I find it hard enough to get to know rl people, so names on a computer screen are even harder. How do people remember all these personalities when it is just a paragraph of words.
    I could make an effort to make online friends, but I guess it is higher up on my priority to remember the names of the rl people in my life (just Sunday I started a list of all those nursery kids I can’t keep track of…..it was far easier to know the peers of my first child. I can still tell you their names and birthdates, way harder for my fourth).
    Anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever made a real splash in the bloggernacle.

  112. 112 jks,
    I’ve been a very sporadic bloggernacle commenter, but have read pretty consistently for years now. I don’t spend as much time these days and if there’s a thread that seems interesting I usually just skim comments looking for names of commentors who I’ve found have interesting things to say. Fwiw, jks is one of the names I stop for. Not that me reading your comments amounts to a splash, but somehow over time you’ve made my cut :)

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