Good, bad and so-bad-they’re-awesome gospel analogies

Several years ago I had the pleasure of listening to a sacrament meeting talk given by a woman who happened to work for an opthamologist. In her address she described various diseases of the eye and likened them unto various “spiritual diseases” that can afflict an individual. For example, glaucoma damages the optic nerve and gradually leads to an irreversible loss of vision; the loss is so gradual that it often isn’t perceived until the disease is in its advanced stages. Similarly, insidious influences can gradually damage our spiritual perceptions, and before we know it we have purchased a non-refundable, one-way ticket to hell.

I’m paraphrasing, of course, and very poorly. This sister’s eye-disease examples and their spiritual counterparts were extremely graphic. I regret that I cannot recall that much detail, but there is a chance I subconsciously blocked the memory, as I’m pretty squeamish about anything involving eyeballs. Nevertheless, I was impressed with how spot-on her analogies were, as well as her willingness to talk about truly disgusting things over the pulpit.

It was a great talk, and well-received, but after the meeting one of our fellow ward members, a urologist, walked up to her and said, “Boy, am I glad you don’t work in our office.”

A few years ago I was listening to a Christian radio station which used to run a commercial narrated by a charming grandpa-type who talked about how much he loved his infant grandson but every so often there was an offensive odor that emanated from said grandson’s behind that simply could not be ignored. Now, it wasn’t that Grandpa loved the grandson any less when the baby produced this stench, but “he cannot have communion with me while he is in that state.” Fortunately, the baby’s mother would intercede on the baby’s behalf, change his diaper and return him to his ever-loving grandpa. Leaving aside the question of whether or not it’s sexist/ageist to insist that Mommy always change the baby’s diaper and why can’t Grandpa do it his damn self, I thought it was a fairly clever, if somewhat silly, way to explain the Atonement. (Probably you had to be there. Grandpa’s delivery was classic.) Difficult to forget, at any rate.

One of my husband’s (ill-fated) dreams is to have the opportunity to speak in General Conference and offer up a grossly inappropriate spiritual analogy, preferably one involving bodily functions. I think he wants to do for the gastro-intestinal system what Elder David Bednar did for pickles. “Brothers and sisters, are we cleansing our spiritual colons?” “Do you suffer from spiritual constipation?” “But what of our spiritual hemorrhoids?” He doesn’t have all of these fully worked out yet, but surely you can see their potential. (Or maybe you’d rather not. To each his own.) Sadly, I don’t think he’ll ever be in the position to live out this particular fantasy. But still, it’s nice to have goals.

Analogies can be very helpful when it comes to explaining abstract doctrinal concepts. However, they can be taken too far and become ridiculous. Or they can start out ridiculous and still be effective. Or they can just be ridiculous. What are some of the best (and/or worst) gospel analogies you’ve heard in church (or out of church)? What are some you’ve thought of and can’t wait to use in General Conference should anyone ever be so foolish to call you as a General Authority?

Good, bad and so-bad-they're-awesome gospel analogies

Comments

  1. Sidebottom says:

    The spiritual constipation line isn’t fully worked out.

    Awesome.

  2. Mark Brown says:

    My first general conference address would liken the priesthood unto The Force.

  3. Mark,

    Were you to follow through on that promise membership would increase ten-fold overnight.

  4. Mark Brown says:

    I know!

  5. Mark Brown says:

    Sports analogies have been done to death in church talks, but I heard one a little while ago that deserves to be singled out. The (male) speaker was discussing our divinely appointed gender roles and he compared himself to the head coach of a football team and his wife to the assistant coach. He was the big picture guy and the asst. coach was a detail person who took care of the all the little things. Pretty amazing, all in all.

  6. I remember a guy in elders quorum explaining he knew the church was true the same way he knew he loved his wife. He couldn’t explain it. He just knew.

    A couple years later, the guy left his wife. ‘Course, he left the church, too, so I guess the analogy held.

  7. This is a great post, thanks. I will think of it each time I hear an analogy in GC from now on.

    I live in Southern California and grew up here. Over the years, I have heard a number of people at positions high and low employ surfing as an analogy to gospel concepts. Surfing can be spiritual in a sense. But the second anyone starts down that path, they automatically become Spicoli. Never works.

  8. TaterTot says:

    I often call my husband “analogy man” because he can’t talk without saying the words “it’s like….” He has a great analogy (more like a story really) about Zion starting out as a little girl and growing through her teenage years until she reaches adulthood and her “wedding dress” finally fits. It’s an amazingly awesome story, and I hope he gets the chance to share it someday.

  9. chelseaw says:

    The worst analogy I ever heard in sacrament meeting was in 1997, a very tearful testimony about how Jesus is just like Jack from Titanic, sacrificing himself so we can have the raft. Thankfully the analogy didn’t extend into the nude sketching portion of the movie.

  10. On the mission we used to help investigators understand and remember the things we asked them to do by drawing a little stick figure on a surfboard on a wave headed toward a beach with a palm tree. Then we would draw two sharks with mouths wide open in the water between the surfer and the beach. So the beach represents happiness/contentment/faith and the sharks represent temptation and worry and all the other bad juju out there, obviously. To get to the beach you need a big “ola” (wave) and “ola” stands for “orar, leer, y asistir (a la iglesia)” Read, pray and attend church. Translation: If you don’t do these things you will be eaten by the bad juju sharks.

  11. Between tracting and such, a few of my companions and I would play the analogy game. One of us would have to name something, and the other would have to liken it to the gospel in some way, and then use it to explain the gospel principle in German.

    There were some great analogies involving slugs, pumpkins, paperclips, the cigarette butts people threw in the train tracks, Hello Kitty pencils . . . .

  12. TaterTot, I guess the whole autumn of 1833 in Jackson County was like the middle-school of Zion then?

  13. There is a whole host of chastity-related ones, primarily directed towards the YW, ranging from roses (or any flowers), cake, dollar bills, boxes of china, etc etc etc.

  14. How long before one of us hears (or makes??) some “great” vuvuzela analogies in sacrament meeting or youth firesides, “Like the vuvuzela drowning out the communication between teammates and the whistles of the officials, the constant buzz of too much [fill in vice] can prevent us from hearing the spirit warning us of fouls.”

  15. My brother-in-law had a doozie once. A woman was discussing how God sometimes pulls us from our spiritual comfort zone with a childbirth analogy:

    We are like babies, cozy in the womb. Then God uses the “forceps of the spirit” to grab us kicking, bloody and screaming into a place where we are uncomfortable at first, but can learn and grow like no other place.

    Yep – forceps of the Spirit.

  16. Okay, Jordan’s definitely winning.

  17. Jenjen, Thats awesome.

  18. One (married) woman in my ward recently stood up and gushingly compared her male marathon trainer to Jesus.

  19. Mark B. says:

    Garrison Keillor told the story a few months ago about the Lutheran pastor who went off script and began talking about her recent colonoscopy during a funeral sermon.

    The pastor compared life to a passage through the colon, rather like the valley of the shadow of death, that there are bumps and twists and turns but eventually everything will come out all right in the end.

    Sad to say, I’m afraid that it was fiction.

    But, to enjoy the fun, go to this link http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2010/05/01/ –the fun starts at about the 100th minute.

  20. “Boy, am I glad you don’t work in our office.”

    Ha ha ha. I laughed out loud at that line.

    One of my husband’s (ill-fated) dreams is to have the opportunity to speak in General Conference and offer up a grossly inappropriate spiritual analogy, preferably one involving bodily functions.

    This is an excellent plan to ensure that your husband will never be called as a GA. I believe it works at more local levels, too . . .

    Mark B #5, you are kidding, right?

  21. I love teaching with object lessons. So mine are all ok, of course…

    Love your hubby’s ideas…seem like they’d be fabulous in a deacon’s quorum….

  22. Mark B. says:

    I heard a member of the 70 tell about a woman on an airplane who by mistake put crazy glue into her eye instead of eye drops.

    I don’t know if I ever figured out what lesson he was trying to teach, but it was pretty well swallowed up in the horror of the story.

    (Regional conference, Radio City Music Hall, spring 1991.)

  23. StillConfused says:

    When my now husband went to my foster father to find out more about me, my foster father likened me to a Lamborghini – a hellofa ride but worth it. A week later, my sweetie emphatically stated that I was more like a helicopter (versus a plane), while I am aerodynamic, my controls are completely different.

    That was pretty much enough in the analogy department for me. Though I did end up marrying the man, so go figure

  24. TaterTot says:

    J. Stapley #12…… Exactly!

  25. 23, as long as noone likened you unto the town bicycle, you could be worse off.

  26. Michael says:

    I sat in a Sacrament meeting in Idaho last month, where the High Council speaker said, and I quote,
    “A testimony is like underwear. It’s always there, but sometimes you don’t realize it until you get a wedgie.”

  27. TaterTot says:

    #26

    I wonder what a testimony wedgie feels like?

    That’s terrible.

  28. I was reading this in my google buzz reader, which does not show the post author, I have to click through to this site to see who wrote each BCC post. I knew as soon as I got to the husband part that it was you, Rebecca.

  29. Kristine says:

    There were some pretty awesome testimonies in my folks’ Nashville ward the month after Dale Earnhardt’s death, including one in verse. (I wish I were kidding).

  30. My new mission president, who later became a 70, compared the spirit to wetting your pants wearing a dark blue suit. “No one notices but it sure gives you a nice warm feeling…”

  31. … but eventually leaves you feeling cold and wet with an unpleasant scent.

    Nope. The analogy breaks down too quickly.

    Oh — bad analogies. Right.

  32. #30–!!!

  33. I’ve often heard the good lesson – girls skirt analogy. Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting.
    THAT is analogy gold.

  34. Ew

  35. Latter-day Guy says:

    The Second Coming is like seeing Elder Bednar smile: I doubt I’ll live to see it, but I have faith that it will happen someday.

  36. My favorite analogist was a great man named Archie Davies, a great man from Cambridge I ward, Massachusetts. At stake conference, he emphasized his love for the prophet by crying, “If Gordon B. Hinckley told us the moon was made of green cheese, I’d get in my spaceship and fill it with Ritz crackers!” Right before he died, he came to church (a major feat since he was trying to recover from many illnesses) to attend testimony meeting (his favorite Sunday of the month). There he testified, “We are all suffering from sin cancer. And there’s only one cure — Preparation Faith!” The oldies in the ward loved it, but the newbies were a little confused. I miss him every testimony meeting. Upon pondering these two examples, I’m not sure they’re analogies, but they’re definitely figurative language and worth mentioning.

  37. Steve Evans says:

    I read a whopper of one in the Church News once, comparing spiritual progression to making lasagna. I wish I’d framed it.

  38. Mark Brown says:

    Oh, I just remembered another good one.

    Once, the week after Mother’s Day we had a high council speaker who wanted to continue with the Mothers Are Great theme. He recited the lyrics to the Jerry Jeff Walker song: M is for the mudflaps on my pickup. O is for the oil in my hair…..

    I count it among the great blessings of my life that at least he didn’t try to sing it.

  39. Kristine says:

    Aw, Corey–there are soooo many good Archie analogies. Every ward should be lucky enough to have such a character!

  40. cahkaylahlee says:

    If I ever have to teach a temple prep lesson, there’s a good chance I might use an analogy between cleanrooms (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleanroom) and temples. Have to have current training certification/recommend, need to come wearing appropriate clothes, put on special clothes once you get inside, come to learn how the physical world works/further light and knowledge. Might also work if it is career exploration night for the youth…

  41. We recently had someone say during a testimony they had been “living a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget.” I’m hard pressed to come with an expression I’d rather hear over the pulpit…truly sublime.

  42. L-d Sus says:

    In a sacrament talk, my wife’s uncle (a chemist) told how water softeners work, then compared it to repenting of sin. It worked because water softeners are a such a strange topic for sacrament meeting that everyone was perplexed enough to give their full attention. It was 90% water softeners and 10% don’t sin.

  43. Mark Brown, you made those up. You must have.

  44. Kristine — I just remembered the funny part about the cure for sin cancer bit. He said, “The only cure is Preparation Faith. You must apply liberally to the infected area many times a day.” It was awesome because only those who have to use Preparation H knew how closely he stuck to the hemorrhoid cream analogy. Hilarious! We miss you, Archie!

  45. My dad, who was a high councilman at the time, once gave a VERY detailed talk on how leprosy was like the gospel. There were reference materials around the house for weeks. Unfortunately, I don’t remember how leprosy is like the gospel, just that there were lots of descriptions of various ways for your skin to fall off.

  46. In our testimony meeting in France, a new convert compared his testimony to his favorite Islamo-rap, which he proceeded to rap for us. It was very long and used a very complete litany of profanity over and over to express the idea that God is great. He was deeply offended when the bishop asked him to cut it short and we never saw him again.

  47. Latter-day Guy says:

    “He was deeply offended when the bishop asked him to cut it short and we never saw him again.”

    Poor Bishop, it’s never a fun balancing act, particularly in that kind of performance where content is egregious enough that you just cannot “grin and bear it.” Of course, I’ve been witness to a couple situations that would have been better left uninterrupted. I do LOVE embarrassing testimonies though (it’s kind of like watching Steve Carrell: painful, but hilarious, but painful)––and I’m glad that they’re never likely to disappear completely. You’ve gotta expect it if one meeting a month is basically ‘open mike day.’

  48. Someone in our ward is a college math/physics professor and in teaching a priesthood lesson on the Atonement and Gethsemane he actually put up the formula for force and pressure and tied it together. Somehow for him, God is in the numbers.

  49. Antonio Parr says:

    The good: Elder Renlund’s recent General Conference talk comparing heart transplants to the mighty change of heart called for in the Book of Mormon. It was a fantastic talk.

    The not-so-good: Referenced above, Elder Bednar’s “Parable of the Pickle” doesn’t work, because, well, he uses the word ~pickle~. The word is so lacking in gravitas that it stops the listener from ever reaching the deep thoughts intended by the speaker. (Think “Parable of the Popsicle” or “Sermon on Succotash”).

    The absolutely rock-bottom worse: All those seminary teachers/BYU religion teachers/etc., who say that marrying a girl who has had premarital sex is like eating a piece of bread that has been licked by someone else. Degrading and a complete rejection of the atonement, use of this analogy should be grounds for bringing back the Puritans’ stocks and pillory . . .

  50. Thomas Parkin says:

    I liked the pickle talk.

    Bread metaphor referenced by Antonio more effective if it is a lollipop or ice cream cone that has been licked. ~

  51. Antonio Parr says:

    Nah — pickles are like smores — they just don’t lend themselves to profundities. (Although Elder Bednar was speaking about deep, important truths, he arrived at his destination driving a 1978 AMC Pacer . . . )

  52. Molly_MW says:

    #30 – I heard a surfer compare the holy ghost to peeing in a wetsuit, which is slightly less gross than a dark blue suit.

  53. I think a more appropriate “peeing in wetsuit” analogy would be this:

    (Insert innocuous sin here) is like peeing in your wetsuit. Noone ever admits to it, but everyone knows everyone does it.

    Probably not a Gospel Doctrine approved analogy, but I think it works better than the holy ghost being compared to urine.

  54. idahospud says:

    Once when I was a Mia Maid president, I got called up out of the blue (along with the Teachers quorum prez) to bear my testimony. I had watched the Oscars the night before, and for some reason I thought it would be great to make an analogy–so I started saying stuff like, “I’d like to thank my producers–my parents, my editor–the Holy Ghost, my costars–my friends . . . .”
    I still cringe when I think of it.

  55. Idahospud, I think that when people call you out of the blue to bear your testimony, they deserve whatever they get. :)

  56. Antihero says:

    I tend to unintentionally use inappropriate movie analogies. They just slip in somehow. Being that Keanu Reeves is probably the greatest actor of our generation, I use a lot of his stuff. My favorite is a line from “The Replacements” where he says,”Pain heals, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever…” I used that one, off the cuff, in a lesson on the plan of salvation for a Priest’s Quorum. Kids loved it. Bishop……..well, he doesn’t appreciate Keanu.

  57. Antonio Parr says:

    51. Just reread my critique of the “Parable of the Pickle”, and am feeling guilty for making light of Elder Bedner’s talk. Since Elder Bednar has given up the balance of his life to give service to the Church, I am thinking that it is in poor form to make light of a talk that was obviously very important to him when he wrote and delivered it.

    To that end, I withdraw my criticisms, and move to strike the offending portions of my own post. (Judge Evans has full authority to grant said motions . . . )

    (But I stand by my invocation of a curse and a poxy on those who use the analogy of licked ice cream cones to ridicule our daugthers who stumble. . . )

  58. Eric S. says:

    Antihero (#56) – Keanu has nothing on my Swayze collection, “brah.”

    B.Russ (#53) – That’s actually the first time I’ve heard a surf-related analogy actually work and not come of Spicoli at the same time (see #7)! Nice. Maybe it could be used while discussing Honor Code compliance at BYU or something like that.

  59. “Being that Keanu Reeves is probably the greatest actor of our generation”

    Are you 12, Antihero?

    Having said that, I used “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” in an analogy about charity once when speaking in Sacrament Meeting in a student branch. In that same talk, I also used an rather shocking analogy to describe listening to someone learn to play the bagpipes. The students loved them, and the Stake Presidency member in attendance didn’t ask that I be released, so I might use both of them again in the future – now that I’m in a different stake.

  60. “(But I stand by my invocation of a curse and a poxy on those who use the analogy of licked ice cream cones to ridicule our daugthers who stumble. . . )”

    Amen, Antonio Parr!

  61. #49 — When I was a Mia Maid, the teacher gave everyone a piece of gum. Later, after everyone had been chewing for a while, she instructed them to switch gum with their neighbors. Moral of the story: you wouldn’t want to chew someone else’s leftover gum. Luckily, I never liked gum very much, so I abstained. (From the gum-chewing, at least.) I think that example is far worse than the ice cream cones/bread/whatever.

  62. I have something for (almost) everyone in this thread! The movie Point Break with Keanu Reeves (#56) AND Patrick Swayze (#58). It’s also about surfers for everyone else who has been talking about that in this thread.

    It doesn’t have anything to do with the gospel yet but I am now determined to make it so. August fast and testimony meeting here I come..

  63. In the early 1980s a sacrament meeting speaker in my ward drew a parallel between the lyrics of Jefferson Starship’s “We Built This City on Rock and Roll” and how in times of difficulty we need to remember how we gained our testimony.

    In order for us to more fully appreciate his analogy, he held up a portable tape player and played the song (at least the chorus) into the microphone.

  64. A friend of mine told me that a stake president or someone in the stake presidency at BYU gave an extemporaneous sermon on sin, saying:

    “Sin is like a pit. You sin, you fall into the pit. (pause) But then you kind of get used to the idea of being in the pit, and you settle for it. (pause) But then, you look around…and you see…a pterodactyl. And you look at him and he looks at you. (pause) And then, and then, uh, then he bites you. And that’s sin.”

    Ever since then, it became somewhat of a saying on their dorm hall that when someone was doing something “wrong” a roommate would remind them that they’re going to be bit by the pterodactyl.

  65. Rigel Hawthorne says:

    A sister in a ward on my Japanese mission used a very interesting analogy. I kept questioning my understanding of Japanese because I couldn’t quite believe I was hearing it right. Checking with other missionaries afterward, they found it to be ‘interesting’ as well.

    She talked about how giving service to others is like breastfeeding. At first, it may not be easy to express acts of service, but with continued effort, they will flow more naturally.

  66. Rigel Hawthorne says:

    I had a girl friend (not a girlfriend) in college who told us about being sternly reprimanded along with her bff in her mid-teens for giggling during the YW fireside on the Law of Chastity. Listening to the analogies that led to their unsuppressable giggle reaction, I could only imagine that the leaders who were reprimanding them must have been giggling inside as well.

    The sister who was presenting the fireside brought an old beat up army boot to compare to one’s chastity…how this exactly related, I don’t remember, but it was the genesis of the giggle reaction. The teacher later made a comment that “abortion is a sin, any way you slice it.” Then, one of her concluding warnings was, “now masturbation….that’s the clencher!”

    No, I’m not making this up. She wasn’t someone who would make it up.

  67. Rigel Hawthorne says:

    “My first general conference address would liken the priesthood unto The Force”

    I had an Elder’s Quorum instructor in my college ward who quoted Yoda in his lesson:

    “The dark side is not stronger. No. Quicker, easier, more seductive.”

    It was a great lesson, everyone was attentive, and I could still remember almost all of the Yoda quote after all these years.

  68. #12 Stapley,

    177 years and we’re still in high school

  69. Re 63 – that is exactly why we aren’t allowed to use props anymore in Sacrament meeting.

    Re 64 – the sin/pit analogy is actually pretty good (minus the pterodactyl). I was waiting for the part about repentance being like climbing out of the pit.

  70. I went on a YW water-skiing activity and after a couple of days of fun in the sun, the weekend culminated in a testimony meeting. One YW stood and said that as she was water-skiing, her swimming suit was crammed up inside of her and she was in so much pain she could hardly stand it. Then she began to think about the Savior and how much pain he was in while he hung on the cross. I couldn’t believe it and looked around at the other leaders as if to say, “Can you believe that this girl is comparing the Atonement of Jesus Christ to a…WEDGIE?!” The other leaders seemed caught up in the testimony–all had tears in their eyes, nodding along, including our priesthood leader who also happened to be a member of our stake presidency. I don’t know what they were feeling but the only spirit I felt was one of disbelief.

    Maybe this YW will grow up to be in the General YW/RS presidency and can share her ‘Parable of the Wedgie’ over the pulpit? I know our youth learn line upon line, but this is just one line that should not ever have been crossed IMHO.

  71. Today in church someone in Sacrament meeting made a sportsball analogy. The analogy wasn’t especially bad (or good), but I couldn’t stop chuckling because I kept thinking of this post.

  72. 70 – KC, that might be the awesomest story I’ve ever heard.

  73. Wow, KC. Just, wow…

    My brother, who some of you know ;), tells a story of a woman on her mission who stood up in some kind of temple robe (not sure if it was the full regalia – John will have to chime in) in testimony meeting (in Berlin, I think) and silently held up a new version of teh German hymn book – and said nothing. He thinks it was some kind of protest against the new hymn book, but he is still not sure…

    I think the best analogy would always be to just Bill and Ted it and philosophize as follows at the pulpit or blackboard or wherever and let the listeners draw their own conlcusions:

    [Quote][Bill and Ted are in Ancient Greece]
    Bill: [approaching Socrates] How’s it going? I’m Bill, this is Ted. We’re from the future.
    Socrates: Socrates.
    Ted: [whispering to Bill] Now what?
    Bill: I dunno. Philosophize with him!
    Ted: [clears his throat, to Socrates] “All we are is dust in the wind,” dude.
    [Socrates gives them a blank stare]
    Bill: [scoops up a pile of dust from the basin before them and lets it run out of his hand] Dust.
    [he blows the remainder away]
    Bill: Wind.
    Ted: [points at Socrates] Dude.
    [Socrates gasps] [/quote]

    Then you could follow that up with the Kansas song and sit down – lesson taught. Could mean a million things!

  74. Oops – didn’t quote get the quote thing to work – sorry!

  75. Re 64 – the sin/pit analogy is actually pretty good (minus the pterodactyl).

    Bahah! Thats like saying Point Break is a good movie except for the skydiving scene. Satisfaction (Rolling Stones) is a good song except for the guitar riff. David is a good sculpture except for the genetalia. C’mon, its a friggin pterodactyl!

  76. Early 1980s, one of my ol’ high school buddies bore testimony in Fast and Testimony of the struggle he was going through ever since John Lennon was murdered…. It was so pitiful, you’d think the rumor of Paul’s death was true!

    As for General Conference, I’d love for someone to use the Cain/Sasquatch story in Miracle of Forgiveness. I mean if it can be dropped into a book that’s still used 40 years later, then it should be good enough for the big time!

  77. I had a biology prof at BYU-H who thought we could learn a lesson from the birds: the female birds of many species require a large investment of their male suitors: nest building, courting rituals, etc… before mating. This investment results in the males sticking around with the family, foraging for food for the young, for some even it results in a lifetime commitment. Contrast this with many mammals: females mate readily with any number of suitors and bear the burden of feeding/caring for the young on their own. I think the moral of the story had something to do with chastity. I’m not sure it falls under the “so bad it’s awesome” category, but in terms of shifting responsibility of moral behavior to the girls it’s a doozie!

  78. Paul Farnsworth, chemistry professor at BYU, did an excellent job last week in the BYU devotional comparing moral standards to scientific standards (like those 10 gram weights you had in chemistry class). I especially liked how he pointed out that it is important not to compare ourselves to other people, but instead to God’s standards. (Just like you wouldn’t express your weight in skinny_neighbor units).

  79. “The creeping immodesty on our campus reminds me of a story I read once about some frogs who were boiled alive in a cauldron of water without any resistance.”. Sister Bednar. I think she takes the pickle with that one.

  80. I was teaching SS to a group of older teenage boys. The lesson was Ecclesiastes. I was trying to get the point of the book across, when “All we are is dust in the wind, dude” came to mind. I said it, and suddenly they all understood (and started singing.) Party On Bill and Ted.

  81. I came really close to comparing Zion to the movei Avatar once. Thanks goodness the chance passed me by!

  82. *movie*

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