Conference Predictions

Now that everybody’s NCAA bracket is shot, BCC will allow you to exercise your gift of (non-)discernment for the upcoming conference weekend. Now is the time to put your money where your aberrations are and tell the world what you want to see the church do in the near future.  Whether you want a one hour meeting block or a  temple in Pocatato, you need to make your voice heard.  You can also make predictions about the content of sermons, and about the bloggernacle’s predictable reactions to those sermons.

Then follow this blog on Saturday and Sunday for comprehensive conference coverage to see if you know any more about your religion than you do about college basketball.

 

Comments

  1. Mark Brown says:

    I’ll go first, with a very safe prediction.

    Dieter F. Uchtdorf will give a sermon which will sound better than anything I have heard in the church in the last 20 years.

  2. In line with Mark’s safe category of Uchtdorf predictions, he will continue to wear a different tie at each of the five sessions, and they will be better looking ties than all other ties we see all weekend.

  3. In preparation for the Last Days, during Priesthood Session, President Monson will direct all families living east of the Mississippi to move to Missouri and begin building the city of Zion.

    “Since Kansas City is currently in the way, the Lord is allowing us to move the center of Zion down towards Branson. Not only is there more room to grow, but it is a family friendly place, as well.”

  4. New temples will be announced in Istanbul Turkey, Cairo Egypt, Baghdad Iraq and Benghazi Libya. Pres Monson will explain, “The time has now come to begin spreading the gospel in the Arab world. We believe that if we start by building temples, they will come. We originally were going to build a temple in Tripoli, but we’re supporting the rebels.”

    No time was set for expected temple dedications, due to hostile actions taken against the Church temple building committee by Moammar Ghaddafi.

  5. “Temple in Pocatato…”

    I’m pretty sure the fact that Pocatello doesn’t have a temple yet means the city is cursed. I don’t think there’s another explanation for it. I don’t think they’ll ever build one there.

  6. RE: Pocatello

    I spent a week there one day….

  7. I’m hoping for a new program to certify the competency of Gospel Doctrine teachers. It needn’t have a very high bar. Simply developing the ability to check the topic of a lesson at least ten minutes before class is all I’m asking, to start with.

  8. Wait a minute says:

    Last Conference we got a talk on the risks of sleepovers, and I expect along those lines we will have a Seventy give council against playing Angry Birds.

  9. Alex P. Keaton says:

    Prediction: Elder Scott will finally succeed in hypnosis as he stares intently into the camera while he talks very, very deliberately about repentance. I will start to feel very, very sleepy… and enter an altered state of consciousness. The trigger to come out of it will be when the organ plays the intro for “We ever pray for thee”, which will cause me to lose all desire to read BCC.

  10. Bro. Jones says:

    Announcement of a new Primary curriculum, developed by trained educators. This new curriculum will abandon inspired sequences of lesson plans such as: “Lesson 1: Baptism. Lesson 2: Jesus Was Baptized. Lesson 3: Jesus Wants Me to Be Baptized” and instead will focus on broad themes explored through stories, physical movement, and interactive skits.

    (Guess what my new calling is? Again!)

  11. I’ve been thinking for a while there will be a veiled stance taken on Mixed Martial Arts/UFC.

  12. re: Pocatello temple

    When it was announced that Rexburg was getting a temple, my imaginary headline read: “Rexburg to get LDS temple; Pocatello excommunicated”

    Pocatello is my hometown…lived there for 45 years and it is a great place!

  13. I predict at least one story about growing up on a farm or ranch.

  14. 1 female speaker. 1 pastel suit (pearls optional). 1 high-pitched, breathy, ‘primary voice.’

  15. RE: Pocatello stuff

    Served my mission there. Avoided it ever since. As has the Church.

  16. Chris Gordon says:

    I predict that the male speakers’ ties will be dominated by red tones, followed by blue in a distant second, Pres. Eyring’s near black green as the “free space” in necktie bingo, and a lone rebel wearing yellow.

    @Jane #14, so you’re picking pastels over jewel tones for the sisters what with Easter in all? Good call!

  17. 14 – Nonsense! There will be TWO female speakers. And both will use ‘primary voice’. And congregation will fall asleep.

  18. Slow singing by the choir.

  19. Look for me in the crowd, I’ll actually be able to attend a couple of sessions! I’ll be the speck waaaay up in the balcony waving maniacally.

  20. I predict 4 happy kids eating what has become known as “conference nachos” at my house while singing my praises.

  21. President Monson will tell at least one story about widows in the ward where he was bishop, and will make at least one off-the-cuff remark that he says Frances will let him hear about later.

    Elder Packer will make at least one statement in an otherwise unremarkable talk that will have the antis all up in arms.

    President Eyring will get choked up and have to take time to compose himself before he can continue.

  22. I was raised in Pocatello also. Can’t see a temple there ever. When the goal is to get a temple within 2 hours traveling time and there are already 5 within that window (and one more coming), I just don’t see it happening!

    My husband has called it Pocatato since beofre we got married. He is not from there;)

  23. One, possibly two speakers, will inform the audience that they have N number of kids, all of whom served missions, were married in the temple, and are producing N*N number of grandkids for the speaker and their devoted spouse.

  24. before.

  25. Several changes in the Seventies’ Quorums and possibly this or next conference a new Presiding Bishopric. Worst case scenario for me is John Bytheway or John Hilton the CES guy getting called to be a Seventy

  26. In Elder Packer’s normal pattern he will give a simple, honest testimony of the Savior – a talk that will not offend anybody.

    This is a continuation of the pattern: 2 simple talks, 1 controversial talk, 2 simple talks, 1 controversial talk, 2 simple talks, 1 controversial talk . . . .

  27. Pornography will be the direct subject matter of 2 talks (one in Priesthood Session, one in the general meetings), be the secondary subject matter of 2 more talks, and have passing mention in two more talks – making an appearance in a grand total of six talks.

  28. President Uchtdorf will mention planes 3 times – once as he self-referentially talks about how he always talks about planes, and twice more during the following anecdote.

  29. The mentions of Jesus Christ in their many forms (Savior, Redeemer, Brother . . . ) will luckily be exactly double the number of times “the world” is referred to as evil.

    The mentions of Joseph Smith will unfortunately be exactly double the number of mentions of Jesus Christ.

  30. 18 – I fully blame that on Mack Wilberg. He has the occasional great arrangement, but man does he conduct them sloowwly.

    My actual prediction, no one will say anything that creates a huge firestorm on the bloggernacle. There will be minor annoyances, but nothing like Elder Packer’s last conference talk. Not even Sister Beck.

  31. Alex P. Keaton says:

    In an effort to return to the original intent of the Word of Wisdom, it will be announced that beer may be served (in moderation) at Elder’s Quorum parties, as per the discretion of the local EQP.

  32. Alex P. Keaton says:

    A youth choir from South Ogden will not be flattered by high definition cameras.

  33. I predict skipping conference all together and waiting until the printed version comes out. Female readers of BCC having issue with the priesthood session not being available online. And at least one speaker with an accent no one understands.

  34. Master Blaster says:

    5 new temples will be announced. Tuscon, Wichita, someplace in Mexico, someplace in Brazil, and Tel Aviv.

  35. S.P. Bailey says:

    APK: good to know, since I recently spent our quorum’s annual budget on cases of Natural Light.

  36. StillConfused says:

    In order to ensure that everyone knows what porn is so that they can avoid it, the large video screens will show the covers of various questionable magazines and books.

    The use of the primary voice will be one of the signs of the terrorists to start another attack on the US… moving to attacks on airplanes once Dieter F. Uchtdorf uses the code word “pilot”.

    In light of the tragedy of the Provo Tabernacle, (http://provo.org/img/File/Tabernacle_Executive_Summary1.1.pdf), attics will be banned in all church buildings and all performances will be done solely by the light of the moon.

  37. Kevin Barney says:

    No. 11 J. Daniel Rollins, if the Church comes out hard against MMA/UFC, I might have to bolt. Seriously. So let’s hope it’s subtle, so I can pretend they’re talking about something else.

    I might actually watch conference if I could get it on my new flat screen. As it is, I’ll probably catch Sunday morning and read the BCC commentary, then skim the Ensign when it comes out. That’s what works for me.

  38. Kevin,
    They’ve already come out against it subtly. Just not specifically

    How many talks have you heard about violence in the media?

    I’ve seen MMA hightlights on Sportscenter and IMHO a movie that showed that much gore would have to be Rated R

  39. MikeInWeHo says:

    The Church has purchased the Old City in Jerusalem and will construct a temple on Temple Mount. Surrounding area also to be massively re-developed with sustainably designed, mixed-used residential, office, and retail space. No sacred tithing money to be spent on this part of project.

    The project will be called Zion East Rising. The proposed Al-Aqsa Fashion Center mall proves controversial, however, even among conference attendees. For the first time in history, official satellite broadcast shows large numbers of attendees not raising their hand when asked to sustain the project.

  40. video games will get hit hard. as will the middle way / New order mormon stance. lots of talk of all or nothing.

  41. 1) A new topic will enter the correlated curriculum: There will be a talk about the joys of cleaning the church, peppered with cheerful quotes and lessons learned, and pictures of photogenic actors holding mops.

    2) There will be continued movement towards music straight from the hymnbook or primary songbook.

  42. Female commenters all over the Bloggernacle will say things about Pres. Uchtdorf that male commenters wouldn’t dare say about any female speaker.

    At least one talk with contain something that is truly offensive to a large number of people, and at least one talk will get taken totally out of context and blasted on multiple sites for no good reason.

  43. Alex P. Keaton says:

    In an effort to help BYU sports recruiting, the Honor Code will no longer prohibit sideburns that extend below the ear.

  44. That’s because you CAN say things about Pres Uchdorf that you can’t say about any female speaker.

  45. 1) Two female speakers talk about the RS History Papers going up online and a plug for this as the new theme for the year. An emphasis on ‘under and after the order of’ will be emphasized. Sadly, ‘Bored in Vernal’s AWESOME post at FMH summarizing the first RS meeting will NOT be shared. http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=4124
    2) Slow down in temple building b/c of the economy.
    3) No new revelations, just an emphasis on getting personal revelation.

  46. M.C. Hammerstone says:

    I give 90% odds of a new Presiding Bishopric

    95% odds Cecil O. Samuelson is released

    50/50 that a woman prays

    99% that the 1st Quorum of the 70 fills up (with a 100% chance of an Ensign special on it, and a 100% chance that half the speakers will mention it)

    No temples

  47. riccardoonofri says:

    I predict:

    - at least one apostle sharing his testimony while weeping

    - at least two “lessons learned as a boy”

    - some talk about the Internet

  48. I’ll put dollars to doughnuts that the topic of sexting is brought up to either the men or in a general session, but that no one actually utters the word “sexting” in their discussion of “sexting.” Which is good for me, because like Kevin mentioned in re MMA, I want some plausible deniability here.

  49. Alex P. Keaton says:

    Julie Beck will come to conference in a pantsuit, and will be ushered out as inconspicuously as possible.

  50. No female prayers, but three female speakers. Mark my words.

    Also, Elder Ballard will extol the virtues of the Handbook. And Elder Oaks will draw guffaws when he quotes online reference to his comment about the Handbook as being “doctrinal-ish.”

  51. My wife and I always have a contest to see if either of us can guess (1) what the first product commercial will be after the Saturday morning session and (2) what the title of the newest Richard Paul Evans novel will be.

    As for my predictions, I hereby proclaim that a commercial for a personal “Cristus” statue will be the first commercial and that the new Richard Paul Evans novel (miraculously and thoughtfully created during the last six months) will be titled …(drumroll)…The Cedar Chest. Mark my words!

  52. 48 – I hope for plausible deniability too jimbob, I just love me some good sexting . . .

    WTH?

  53. Moniker Challenged says:

    At least one speaker, if not several, will say something about it being a/an historic conference. As if the proceedings just gave us a firm date for the second coming of Our Lord. Similarly, I may begin announcing every morning meal I consume to be an historic breakfast.

  54. Alex P. Keaton says:

    The end of the perpetual education fund will be accompanied by the announcement of a new perpetual motion fund, designed to stimulate research into perpetual motion machines to solve the energy crisis.

  55. John @51
    I’m guessing that the first commercial will be from Emergency Essentials (got to cash in on the most recent round of earthquakes) and the Richard Paul Evans book with be “The Quilt”.

  56. I predict a perceptible widening of the gap between the “company men” 70s that are trying to impress up by enthusiastically echoing what they think they hear, and the “glory be thine” 70s that are just trying to say something helpful and invite the Spirit to help reveal the Savior to the members.

    Joseph to referred to the former as “Great Big Elders.”

    If such labeling was good enough for Joseph, it ought to be good enough for us.

  57. Sorry, should properly be: Joseph referred to the former as “Great Big Elders.”

  58. -President Monson will talk about pidgeons
    -President Monson will talk about something from when he was an Aaronic Priesthood youth
    -There will be a minimum of three talks dealing directly with porn, at least one of which will be in priesthood session
    -Elder Packer will give a humble, non-controversal talk about the atonement (already predicted, but it’s an easy mark)
    -Elder Bednar will make a reference to “acting and not being acted upon” and “learning by faith”
    -The pace and tone of talks and music during the two Sunday sessions will be sufficiently sedating that my lovely spouse will sleep through about 2/3 of it

  59. Considering how I fared on my basketball brackets, these will most likely not happen, but I can hope.

    -no primary voices (please, please , please, please)
    -In an effort to be more popular Elder Packer will tell airplane stories
    -Elder uchtdorf will lovingly mock those stories
    -Elder Scott will wish he were talking just to you and will stare so intently through the screen you will feel like you shoulda changed out of your sweats—you won’t, but you almost did
    -Elder Bednar will have a wonderful analogy to help us understand scripture study or prayer in a way that will be mistold and emphasized weirdly for months
    -One of the most interesting talks will be one of those short ones with an accent that will make me wish the guy had a half hour and I spoke his language

  60. Ow, LOL on the posts, so creative people, I was just thinking about wedding, airplanes, young, pornography, not in a order, but these themes… as usually happens in GC. Anyway, I´m excited to hear what my beloved Uchtdorf will say… I just love him!

  61. No references will be made to a certain Broadway musical.

  62. Andrew H. says:

    Serious prediction:

    This year is the 75th anniversary of the Church Welfare program expect many talks and comments on this plus an hour long special between the Sunday sessions.

    Fun Prediction:

    President Packer, with out using names will make an indirect reference to Devery Anderson’s “Development of Temple Work” book any one who owns or reads one is going to hell, please send them to achurch HQ for burning. This will then be toned down in the printed version.

    My dream prediction:

    In his opening talk Pres Monson apologizes for the MMM and the Priesthood restriction. Promptly restores the position of apostle at large and calls Darius Gray to fill the position. Then he releases the RS Prez and fills the new Presidency with Ardis Parshall, Margret Blair Young, and Lavina Fielding Anderson. Gladys Knight called as new MoTab Director.

  63. “I hope for plausible deniability too jimbob, I just love me some good sexting . . . WTH?”

    I was trying to make a joke, B. Russ. Unless, of course, *you’re* now being serious about loving yourself some good sexting, in which case, please send me your cell number.

  64. I’ll start polishing my Primary voice tout de suite, Andrew. Just in case.

  65. BWJohnson says:

    Two female speakers in suits and pearls will each tell a sad story and all the while be smiling. President Monson will give the same talk he’s given in 100 different forms for the last 40 years, and President Eyring will cry. Elder Packer will behave himself briefly, but he won’t be able to for more than about five minutes. Then here we go again.
    The Mormon Tabernacle Choir Women will wear Maroon dresses – most about a size 22.

  66. Naismith says:

    Someone will have a granddaughter named Ruby.

  67. (63) done and done.

  68. BWJohnson says:

    I’m really sorry I made that remark about size 22 dresses for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, but I couldn’t delete it. I’m going to try very hard not to be hynotized by Elder Scott’s talk on repentance.

  69. -there will be no references to Stephen E. Robinson’s “bicycle parable” of the atonement, because it has already been retold about 300 times in every U.S. ward for the past 15 or so years

  70. Duke of Earl Grey says:

    The conductor of the Priesthood Session will comment on how this is the largest assembly of priesthood holders in history (or will maybe temper the statement by saying “one of the largest”) which was perhaps a profound rumination the FIRST time we heard it…

  71. My man crush on Elder Uchtdorf will increase.

  72. The two African-American members of the MTChoir will be strategically placed about 6 people apart on neighboring rows and then shown at least 3-4 times during every song to dispel the belief that they are more than just a bunch of white people.

  73. Somebody decides to announce the first actual new doctrine since Joseph F Smith’s revelation on what Jesus did between his death and resurrection, thus finally proving that we really are a religion led by prophets and not just by caretakers of the church started by Joseph Smith.

    (There really aren’t any new doctrines after that one. Sure, they discontinued polygamy and gave all men the priesthood, but those were merely changes in practices, not in doctrine. And the advice to wear only one set of earrings doesn’t seem all that doctrinal to me.)

  74. I predict (hope) that they will finally let one of those poor Hispanic 70s give a talk in his native tongue. Which won’t be a problem because more than half the church will understand it fine, and the rest of will have to read a translation.

    Honestly, why don’t they do that? It would be a huge boost for our Spanish-speaking brothers and sisters.

  75. Thomas Parkin says:

    Elder Oaks will wear a purple shirt with a silver tie and will speak on the need to lighten up.

    Elder Nelson will say, in his own words, ‘I didn’t much care for most of my family in this life, and I’ll be darned if I’m going to live with them for Eternity.’

    President Uctdorf will announce that he has changed his last name to Johnson, and that when it is his turn to be Pope he will take the name Innocent Smith Young I.

    Dancing elephant show – during a Saturday session, of course.

    Elder Packer’s address will include an endearing, if horse and stumbling, rendition of Morning Has Broken, as sung by Yusuf Islam, formerly known as Cat Stevens.

  76. The church audit and statistics readings will continue to be the most riveting parts of the Saturday afternoon session.

  77. I predict frequent quoting of the new handbook, referenced by section numbers such as 9.4.1.

  78. Russell Ball says:

    Elder Packer will NOT be assigned to give a talk about homosexuality!

  79. As a side note for those who have Roku players. You can add the Mormon Channel as a private channel (it’s in alpha testing) at:

    https://owner.roku.com/Add

    Access code is: byurocks

    They’ll be streaming all sessions of conference minus the Priesthood Session. IPTV FTW.

  80. The Provo Tabernacle will be restored as a second Provo temple…two years from now: The Provo Temple will get an Ogdan-like makeover. (More serious than not about both these.)

  81. Saw Skooh says:

    @74
    Actually, native Spanish-speaking GAs DO give their talks in their native language. They pre-record them in Spanish and that version is beamed out on the Spanish satellite feed. (Seriously.)

  82. KerBearRN says:

    When each of the two women participants with primary voices speaks, the audio will be hijacked by a renegade university radio station in Utah, playing “I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones.

  83. observer (fka eric s) says:

    I predict the GAs’ rosy skin tone will compliment the Spring-like floral arrangement that shall be gently established near the pulpit.. Well wishers and attendees will be careful as they leave the conf center. Bald heads shall reflect the soft light cast down by the production team in the loft. Mitt, Orin & Harry will let bygones be bygones from the third row. Intriguing references to “Bonneville Communications” shall appear.

  84. Saw, Spanish pre record feed, best news to me ever

  85. I predict multiple talks in which GAs will generically use “the Lord” when saying something that could refer to either HF or Christ.

  86. I know I’m going WAY out on a limb with this one, but I predict that President Monson will mention the presence of local officials, dignitaries, the media. He also will welcome and acknowledge those enjoying conferences in stake centers around the world, and also via television, radio, satellite, smoke signal, and the Internet.

  87. KerbearRN says:

    Oh, and in an alliterative paean to fulfilling, follicly-challenged fatherhood, Homer Simpson will be held out as a hallmark of heavenly harmony.

  88. Dave P. says:

    Despite how sad this is, I’m dead serious about these: there will be more calls and references to “follow the prophet” than to Jesus Christ and the speakers will quote from each other more than they quote from the scriptures. Plus there will be no new revelation nor calling the world to repentance, especially the United States for its latest war.

    In short, it’ll be just like the last conference.

  89. observer (fka eric s) says:

    Winifred Young Smith will make her unsuccessful biannual attempt at hitting on who she believes is Elder Haight but is really Butch Patrick.

  90. Elder Pratt will speak.

  91. Elder Scott has been pre-recording his own talks in Spanish as long as I know. I imagine Elder Uchtdorf does his in German, and anyone speaking ESL.

  92. Indiana says:

    “Female commenters all over the Bloggernacle will say things about Pres. Uchtdorf that male commenters wouldn’t dare say about any female speaker.”

    I think it’s not that they don’t dare, I think it’s that those unflattering pastel/jewel-toned skirt suits, middle-aged mom hairdos, and insipid primary voices make it impossible for men to say those sorts of things in any context other than vicious irony.

  93. I remember as a kid when we were always asked to pray for people in Eastern Europe to get the gospel. I heard it done all the time in public prayers. Now it seems we only hear people pray for the soldiers.

    I would love to hear and apostle say from the pulpit that we need to become less anti-enemy and more pro-kingdom of God. I would love to hear encouragement to pray mightily for people who are victims of MANMADE tragedy as well as natural disaster. I would love to hear encouragement to the Church as a whole to pray for the gospel to be preached in every country.

    Oh, and I’d love to finally hear about a new YW manual being in the works . . ..

  94. I look forward to general conference–church meetings where someone doesn’t close their talk/testimony/lesson with “in the name of THY son Jesus Christ.” I get tired of being mistaken for Mary, the mother of Jesus, every single week.

  95. I predict that the bloggernacle will continue to judge women on their clothes, their hairstyles, their makeup, their looks, their facial expressions, and their tone of voice.
    In fact, some of the same people who claim no one should judge or be distracted by an immodestly dressed women or a tattooed, extra earringed body will not be able to help themselves but be distracted by the cultural affectations of conference’s women speakers.

  96. #90-Are you referring to Elder Carl B. Pratt of the 70? if I am correct I think he will get emeritus status this or next conference

  97. #94, my sentiments exactly!

    Every six months my brother makes a General Conference Body Count prediction. This time he’s predicting 4 stories involving death. Extra points are awarded for stories with last minute blessings/epiphanies on hospital deathbeds.

  98. GP Italy says:

    My predictions from Italy!
    For the very first time Mack Wilberg will smile while directing the congregational hymn… and it will be absolutely amazing! Pres. Monson during the opening talk will speak about the Rome Italy Temple Groundbreaking (YAY!!!)… “We thank thee oh God for a Prophet” will be sung as congregational hymn or as closing hymn of the Conference, with the congregation resinging the first verse… During the Priesthood Session there will be a talk about Pornography and another for the Aaronic Priesthood about the importance of missionary serive..

    PS: In Italy we see the Saturday Afternoon Session starting at 10pm… you don’t know which are the effects of the Primary Voice at 10pm…

  99. Nick Literski says:

    Dalin Oaks will give an impassioned speech on how the “religious freedom” of determining how people outside his religion behave is “under attack” by “intolerant” forces who “discriminate” against religious persons by daring to criticize their words and actions. He will use his best “judge face” and stern vocal tones to prove his points, all the while making legal arguments that he would never have accepted while he served on the bench, and using half-correct versions of foreign incidents to allege a threat against the U.S. Constitution.

  100. don't know mo says:

    I predict I will be more edified by these BCC comments than by Conference itself. =)

  101. BWJohnson says:

    The Church will announce plans to tear down the urban blight surrounding the Mesa, Arizona temple and spend a couple of billion dollars in tithing funds sprucing the place up a bit. New stores will include shops that most members can’t afford to patronize.

  102. Wyoming will get its own temple.

  103. It's Not Me says:

    I predict that people will continue to criticize the leaders of the Church for things that merely indicate they are human.

  104. I predict members of the Church will try to denfend those things leader are being criticized for and perpetuate their false sense of infallibility. If a wrongdoing was done by a leader, I predict they won’t apologize, rather issue a statement by the spokesperson that the message was misinterpreted and misunderstood.

  105. it's a series of tubes says:

    95 and 103 for the win.

  106. Mommie Dearest says:

    Amen to 104

  107. #94 – That comment is niblet-worthy!

  108. I will have to repent for the sin on coveting president Uchdorf’s full, beautiful, and most excellently coifed hair…

  109. I usually find this site somewhat uplifting. I thought the post was fun at first, but the more I read, the more everyone sounded depressed and angry. I am proud of the woman leaders we have. I think Sis. Beck is great. Some of these leaders have been friends’ moms and are really cool ladies and amazing people (not withstanding having sweet little voices and old school clothing). You can diss all you want, but these are amazing women. I would love to see the outfits you are all wearing as you post your snarky comments. I would not be suprised to find a few of you in old gray sweatpants with white tennis shoes or fluffy slippers. Lets be realistic here and try and show some love for these individuals who have given their lives to making you and your kids lives better.

    P.S. I think that E. Uchdorf’s hair does rule.

  110. BWJohnson says:

    #108 Well, having spent about fifteen years as an advisor in the YW program, I would say that the best way these sweet sisters could share the love would be to develop new YW teaching manuals. And you’re right. Compared to the suits and pearls, I’m just not in the running. You even guessed the right color on the sweatpants, but alas, no fluffy slippers.

    P.S. What kind of facial cream do you think Elder Uchtdorf uses? I know. I’m so shallow.

  111. Jacob M says:

    108 – You (and no one else, for that matter) really want to know what I’m wearing right now.

  112. Jacob M says:

    Sorry, that should say “You don’t”. Makes the meaning quite a bit different.

  113. MikeInWeHo says:

    re: 109
    Nivea Mens Revitalizing Double-Action Balm with coenzyme Q10 and soothing chamomile. Great product, sensibly priced, and best of all: Made In Germany.

    Kinda serious here…..

  114. “Elder Packer will make at least one statement in an otherwise unremarkable talk that will have the antis all up in arms.”

    Yeah, only homo-adoring heathens who don’t love the baby Jesus find fault with crazy-pants queer bashing. Oh, and in my limited experience, people who really treasure the gospel of love espoused by Jesus. Them too. But mostly the first group.

  115. #90 – Next time.

  116. Bro. Jones says:

    Ok, I’m going to say it: I think the Relief Society presidency are all plenty attractive women. They’re nice people and they dress fine. The primary voice isn’t my thing, but I think it’s fair to pick on anyone who speaks that way.

  117. I agree with the dismay about the “snarky” comments regarding the attire of the sisters who speak in conference; they are just fine the way they are. But I am intrigued by the “breathy voice” notion, and am going to take studious notes and maybe practice it myself if I see a good example.

  118. And I’m heading out right now to try and find me some of that Nivea facial cream stuff. If #112 is correct (and who am I to judge that it’s not?), I’m thinking the CQ10 may be the magic ingredient for a perpetually youthful countenance.

  119. Ken, Mike has to know about good facial cream. You know, cause, well, you know.

    Thanks for the tip, Mike. I’ll be checking it out, as well.

  120. The Brother of Jared says:

    I’m hoping the Elder Bednar wears a sophisticated polyester tie for one session of conference.

    My brother is serving as a Zone Leader in the Florida missions and had the opportunity to meet the apostle during a zone conference. At the Mission Presidents urging, he showed his rather large tie collection to Elder Bednar, taking time to point out his most “sophisticated polyester” tie. Elder Bednar commented that such a tie was an oxymoron, to which my brother laughed and agreed. He than gifted the tie to Elder Bednar with the simple request that as a gift to him, the apostle might wear it during conference. Elder Bednar said that if any of his suits matched the tie, he would.

    *fingers crossed*

  121. It's Not Me says:

    Gosh, I sure hope none of the speakers attempt to call us to repentance in any way, shape or form. They have no business telling us how to live our lives. Who do they think they are, anyway?

  122. I spent a lifetime in Pocatello one summer. I don’t see a Temple there any time soon. Maybe Chubbuck.

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