Come Ye Poets of the Bloggernacle!

[Note: Due to the unforeseen martyrdom of Jon McNaughton's art sales in the BYU Bookstore at the hands of Teh Godless Libruls, we feel the need to eugooglize this fine art, and thus we have resurrected this thread. Haiku only, please.]

Originally posted on September 29, 2009

Art inspires art.  This art, found on the sidebar, inspired me.

I choose to respond in haiku.  You may respond as well, but we will only accept comments in haiku.  (5-7-5 for those of you who don’t remember high school English….)  Here are some thoughts to get you started:

Surprised Asian man:
Surprised because this Jesus
hails from fair Gondor?

Benjamin Franklin!
Even with your syphilis
you are on God’s side.

Smug Hollywood man
you are liberal and bad
but I would date you.

Blond business woman
you rate no commentary.
Where are your children?

Abraham Lincoln
freed the slaves and also starred
in a musical.

Professor Darwin
Educational elite!
I like chimpanzees.

________________________

Come Ye Poets of the Bloggernacle!

Comments

  1. Army MLK!
    Greet Jesus, Skousen in hand.
    Blue states shine dimly.

  2. On a mobile phone,
    this is the Apocalypse.
    Can you hear me now?

  3. Steve Evans says:

    Poor Supreme Court Judge.
    Such bad rulings (Bush v Gore)!
    Nice Seiko though, dork.

  4. Aaron Brown says:

    That is not Jesus.
    God dresses in corporate suits.
    Not as a hippy.

  5. Aaron Brown says:

    5-7-4!!!! Ban thyself, Steve.

  6. Bedtime for Bonzo?
    Raising a chimpanzee is
    no match for Jesus.

  7. You got me AB. Now edited.

  8. Justice Kennedy:
    Black robes of a false priesthood
    Avail you nothing.

    Frederick Douglass knows.
    Ain’t buying this for a minute.
    This is a put-on.

    “Can you hear me now?”
    Asks mobile phone business man.
    “Short-sell insurance.”

  9. Satan: King of Bad.
    No explanation needed.
    But Jesus does? Huh.

  10. Aaron Brown says:

    Satan looks a lot
    Like Emperor Palpatine
    Jesus, use the Force!

  11. Adams seems to say,
    “Hey! Check my man, Abe Lincoln!”
    Abe just says, “Ta-da!”

  12. Where is the White House?
    Maybe McNaughton believes
    Barack is Savior

  13. Mephibosheth says:

    Lower right corner:
    Not all lawyers are like this,
    Must pay Sallie Mae

  14. Carole Mikita
    Liberal News Reporter
    Man, she’s gonna burn.

  15. Founding Father Jive!
    Alexander Hamilton
    Dance jazzy hands dance!

  16. I procrastinate
    my homework when I read and
    comment on your blog.

  17. Mr Hollywood,
    Poor leather jacket choices
    won’t help you in Hell.

  18. Family doctor
    Looks at Jesus. Realizes,
    “That glowing’s not right.”

  19. Oh, I almost forgot. Here’s a haiku I wrote a while back about limericks:

    There once was a man,
    From Nantucket he did come.
    What fate befell him?

    (This came about because I’ve never been able to find out what line comes after “There once was a man from Nantucket”.)

  20. Tree fell on his head
    In the forest he was dead
    There was much bloodshed

  21. Aaron Brown says:

    Lawyer counts his cash
    Pays woman to keep her child
    See, he’s a hero!

  22. Pregnant woman stares
    She wants to keep her baby
    why’s she sitting there?

  23. John, Alex and Abe
    A Presidential Boy Band
    In vests like Greenwood

  24. I still don’t get it,
    Why pregnant woman is bad.
    She wants the child, right?

  25. Suck it, Mike Newdow!
    Constitutional smack down.
    Ken Starr owns you, bitch.

  26. Marbury v. Mad’son —
    What dangerous precedent!
    Checks and balances?!?!?!?!!?

  27. Aaron Brown says:

    Ms. Adams is hot
    Abigail in haute couture
    Her hat turns me on.

  28. Samuel Adams,
    You stand way there in the back!
    Stupid beer-maker.

  29. My Blade Was Broken
    But Now It Has Been Remade
    Stink. Jesus Took My Shirt!

  30. Jesus eyes the boy.
    Extends a hand out to him,
    “Pull my finger, son.”

  31. Fifty stars shine bright
    some shine brighter than others
    pointed cough: red states

  32. Aaron Brown says:

    Jesus was a Jew
    Who knew Jewish carpenters
    Had Nordic features?

  33. Katie FTW. I hereby make you a perma. Or queen for a day. Something.

  34. Aaron Brown says:

    Jesus’ head well-placed
    Like moon blocking the sunlight
    Safe to view eclipse.

  35. Stupid snot-nosed boy!
    Boogers on Constitution?!!
    (taking off my belt)

  36. God loves the Marines.
    “…to the shores of Tripoli!”
    Semper fi, Jesus.

  37. Is that me sitting,
    with the Origin, between
    Jesus and Satan?

  38. Christa McAulliffe….
    I see the resurrection
    did not help jumpsuits.

  39. Mephibosheth says:

    Mr. Hollywood
    Satan whispers in your ear
    Bad Ricky Gervais

  40. Pregnant Lady points,
    wondering why, the student
    gets the cool blue book

  41. Why the space program
    fetish? Lots of federal
    money being spent!

  42. Thomas Jefferson
    Mean looking club in thy hand
    Please don’t beat Jesus

  43. Pregnant Lady points
    at the blond business woman.
    I want a job too!

  44. George Wythe makes the cut!
    I bet when Connor saw this
    He [crapped] in his pants.

    [edited for a family audience]

  45. Lame family doctor!
    No stethoscopes needed now
    there’s no blood, just bones.

  46. Wait, what is that paper?
    It is the Declaration
    from the gift shop cheap

  47. Liberal reporter,
    Gets the best scoop of her life,
    ‘End comes’ news at Ten

  48. ‘Merican soldier
    Wants to join the cool boy band.
    Boys II Men it ain’t.

  49. John Adams your eyes
    Say you are feeling bemused
    Hey, so are we bro

  50. There is no point.
    You will be banned.
    Steve Evans always wins.

  51. “Mr. McNaughton?
    Yeah, this is George Wythe College.
    Please send fifty prints.”

  52. To MikeInWeHo:
    Haiku is 5-7-5.
    Last line epic FAIL.

  53. MikeinWeHo, dude
    If you can not figure out
    5-7-5, don’t try.

  54. Mike… snifff… that last one
    was funny because it’s true.
    I’m banned in Vegas.

  55. Thank you, Steve Evans!
    Haikus are real fun. Fart jokes
    Are my specialty.

  56. The Constitution?
    Are amendments included?
    Second is, I bet.

  57. Civil war soldier
    What’s up with all the crying?
    The blue side won dude

  58. Comic Book Idea
    Looks better than One More Day
    And Final Crisis (!)

    Katie, darn you there
    one minute too slow to be
    the first to dis Mike

  59. Latter-day Guy says:

    God’s own RNC
    Must brace themselves for scandal.
    Jesus? Green Party.

  60. Christian Minister
    Sees Tree of Life on Jesus’
    shirt. Mormons were right.

    Matt, my haiku skills
    are Relief Society
    honed. Two years well spent.

  61. Final Crisis was….
    a weak-willed at art
    Not like Blackest Night!!

  62. Your words avail you nothing children
    We neither listen nor hear nor care
    Who called you little poeple ??

  63. No more meeting names
    Family, Home, Personal
    Just RS, OK?

  64. Boyd K confuses
    The crap out of me just now
    And botches haiku

  65. Evans, perhaps you meant:

    Final Crisis was….
    a weak-willed attempt at art
    Not like Blackest Night!!

    ??

  66. Troll late into night
    Crawl back into your snake pit
    Never to return

  67. So Goeff J
    Forget Haiku do they hear you? /us
    Does he care
    Do you
    Do I
    Will my son at Dairy queen

  68. Liberal bloggers
    Mocking patriotic art
    You will rot in hell

  69. Not a haiku, but just think of it being chanted by high school cheerleaders:

    Reagan, Lincoln, JFK!
    Jefferson, Ike, and JQA!
    Why no Clinton WJ?

  70. Karen, thanks a lot
    A nice, public correction
    is cutting off my balls.

  71. F-16 pilot
    Flies toward Reagan, then will go
    On to JFK

  72. Jesus says to boy:
    Wanna see me make this thing
    Hang by just a thread?

  73. Never thought we’d see
    a dude get banned on this thread
    live and learn, I guess.

  74. Karen, keep in mind
    Steve is not the math expert
    in that family

  75. Dear Steve’s Balls, zero
    population my friend. That’s
    what us dems all want.

  76. Jesus, Satan, bros!
    Why you got to be this way?
    Can’t we get along?

  77. Don’t you fret Karen.
    Steve’s balls are still safe and sound
    In his wife’s car trunk.

  78. I love it, Steve! I think it would be most enjoyable if whenever you banned someone, you favored them with a haiku.

  79. Latter-day Guy says:

    “Will my son at Dairy queen”

    Yes, he probably will. Don’t panic though; I hear that BYU has pioneered some kind of treatment involving electricity. You won’t believe their cure-rate!

  80. Ziff: Bill C. left out
    ’cause of lie . Own up to your
    sexual conquest!

  81. Jesus comes to man.
    Child doesn’t care: “Let me touch
    that big huge paper!”

  82. Mother looking up
    says, Hey that glowing guy Stole
    my yellow curtains

  83. Trolls need to learn: 5-
    7-5 keeps you in the
    game a lil’ longer.

  84. Dwight D. Eisenhouer
    Oh Snap! He’s a pinko Commie!
    Don’t they read John Birche?

  85. In high school of the 1960s, they taught us that, to have dignity, a haiku must also evoke a season and a corresponding mood. So, . . .

    Now dark autumn clouds
    Silhouette my tall haystack.
    Summer has been good.

    Hey! I grew up on a farm in Boise. What do you want!

  86. Ha! Ok I need to give special props to 85 (despite the 6-8-5), 72, 44, 38, 31, 30, 23, 18, and a few of Karen’s in the post for making me laugh out loud. I am chuckling profusely here on most of these.

  87. Where is Betsy Ross?
    Cliche patriot list FAIL.
    Want my money back.

  88. Mom holds son aloft
    on mighty index finger,
    credits Cleon’s leap.

    Son cut off left hand
    Offended by his member;
    Damn dyslexia.

  89. “…the value of qualified, trained, and hard working teachers in teaching the youth of America cannot be underestimated…” ??

  90. Black college student
    Likes to read Skousen, who says:
    “Civil Rights? Commie.”

  91. Hey you school teacher
    Get your union lovin’ butt
    To the Satan side!

  92. El inmigrante
    dice: “Jesus Cristo es
    muy brillante.”

  93. Tom Paine, atheist?
    Artist never read his works –
    Put him with good guys.

    Maybe since he wrote
    Common Sense, Paine is seen as
    A proto-Glenn Beck.

  94. Did you notice that
    the only people smiling
    are three wicked guys?

  95. Alex Hamilton
    Alone sees Palpatine there
    Grabbing light saber

  96. Need some McNaughtons
    To complement the Kinkaids
    On my parlour walls.

  97. The gal on the left
    Is that an orange spacesuit?
    Hey, I think that’s me!

  98. oh, about that robe…
    the gold’s a little garish
    Jesus ought to know

  99. John Adams says, “Yeah,
    We don’t know the guy, either.”
    Hamilton agrees.

  100. George Washington swears,
    “I don’t know this glowing guy!
    Cross my heart, hope to…”

  101. Now we have the proof!
    Satan really has red eyes!
    And gray complexion?

  102. Haiku is easy
    But sometimes it doesn’t make sense.
    Refrigerator.

  103. Conference comes soon.
    Time to get out my PJs
    Set the DVR

  104. “Cry, Supreme Court Judge!
    Cry for all that you have done!
    For shame!” Love, Jesus

  105. Zelph, in mound resting,
    Arrowheads and bones: wonder
    If prophets speak true.

  106. So much to do now.
    I cannot believe I read,
    All one hundred five.

  107. Don’t you know that the
    Supreme Court is actually
    quite conservative?

    And a gray Satan
    With red eyes in the corner?
    Just not his style

  108. The red sash is for blood
    spilt by America for
    God. Really? Really?!?

  109. Poor little blonde child.
    Painter says you’re disabled.
    What’s your handicap?

    Dear sweet painter, what
    is the symbolism of
    non-whites in margins?

    Harriet Tubman,
    peeking over shoulders there,
    Satan gets more press

    Is it just me or
    does Satan look like red-robed
    Jesus? Ahhhh, brothers.

  110. Hey there, anti-Brit:
    Do you not know Jesus walked
    on our pastures green?

  111. Eminent domain
    Greedy land-grabbing fat cats
    What would Jesus do?

    Immigrant surprise
    So Jesus is on their side
    Enlist? Sign me up.

  112. One on black velvet
    For living room. Poker dogs
    Out with the garbage.

  113. Face buried in hands —
    “Please tell me he’s not Mormon.”
    “…artist from Utah…”

  114. People who don’t know
    History give me a pain
    Or is it a Payne?

  115. Give him credit, though–
    Discoverer of Thomas Payne
    Author of “Common Scents”

  116. reader Rachel says:

    Just moved to Provo.
    This proudly displayed in mall.
    Crap. Why’d we come here?

  117. reader Rachel says:

    Stare at the painting.
    Horrible fascination.
    I can’t look away.

  118. Politician’s wrath
    No! I will not bow to this
    Ranger from the north.

  119. Evans counts his dough
    Hoping filthy lucre saves.
    Best of luck, my friend.

  120. “Handicapped baby”
    Heaven’s full of brown hair dye.
    You will be made whole.

  121. Sin of omission:
    Where’s the merry band of elves
    Singing Elbereth?

  122. Larry the Cable Guy says:

    Dolly Madison
    Red twinkies with coconut
    Mmm-mmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

  123. Republican “art.”
    Is that oxymoronic?
    Or just moronic.

  124. ‘Leven fifty-nine:
    Thou shall not know what hour.
    Bugler’s beard grows yellow.

  125. Larry the Cable Guy says:

    Brunette with glasses
    by soldier is requisite
    Sarah Palin plug

  126. Professors are bad
    But on the right hand of God
    Are teachers, like me!

  127. Last Lemming says:

    I do limericks
    Not haiku. Thus, I declare
    My lack of int’rest.

    And in response to #19:

    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who feared he would soon kick the bucket
    He resolved to pursue
    The things listed to do
    Such as take a vacation in Phuket

  128. Hey blacks, stand in back!
    Where is Rosa Parks? Too much
    white and delightsome

    John K – Only Dem
    Pres? Ever heard of Franklin
    Roosevelt, jackass?

  129. Kevin Barney says:

    One hundred, two, three…
    Let’s kill all the lawyers–
    Screw the commandments!

  130. Lawrence v. Texas
    Souter gone, will we lose all?
    Soyomayor says…

  131. OMG (Jaw drop)
    This is abomination
    of desolation

  132. Kevin Barney says:

    Knocked up woman points
    As if artist meant to say
    “Pregnancy evil.”

  133. Kevin Barney says:

    Flag has fifty stars;
    Some shine brighter than others.
    “Boo, Massachusetts!”

  134. Kevin Barney says:

    Susan Anthony,
    Reviled, dirty feminist–
    How come she is there?

  135. Poor Kelo! Her land
    Now lies fallow – taken, but
    Never developed.

  136. Seriously, folks.
    Most fun bloggernacle thread
    ever. More haiku?

    This is great art and
    I’ma let you see it but
    this post best alltime.

  137. Kevin B, we are
    both attorneys, how can you
    bill hours on blog?

  138. Saviors, saviors all
    but me so very confused…
    where be the Glenn Beck?

  139. ah, it’s Magic Eye
    confusion is now resolved
    Ezra Taft in back

  140. damnation and hell
    the destination reserved
    for littering judge

  141. Token black complies
    Clarence Thomas in disguise?
    Reality belies…

    Blacks still in the rear
    Satan whispers in gay’s ear
    Such do WASPs hold dear

    Franklin clutching chest
    Justice cannot watch the rest
    Lying at its best.

  142. pregnant equals hope
    she doesn’t want abortion
    condemned wtf?

  143. Number 104
    That’s the best note from Christ
    That I’ve ever read

  144. Sammy Adams says:
    Celebrate Armegeddon!
    Come get beer back here!

  145. No doubt, judges will
    weep. Where are Korematsu,
    Dred Scott and Plessy?

  146. This art makes strong case
    for requiring artists
    to have a license.

    (Not just to use some
    artistic license). Checked, yep
    he’s from Utah. Sigh.

  147. Jesus now reveals:
    Constitution, not Bible,
    Is the Word of God.

  148. Day Dawn is Breaking
    Jesus will do the judging
    artist gets a D

  149. artist from utah
    temple recommend revoked
    forgot Joseph Smith

  150. Artist caption for
    Tree- “creative periods”
    Definitely Mo.

  151. Julie M. Smith says:

    Most offensive part:
    You are clearly LDS
    But hide to sell more.

  152. Julie M. Smith, what?
    No comment on the George Wythe?
    You disappoint me.

    :-)

  153. re:151

    Most Offensive Part”
    Artist casts himself as Christ
    Judging everybody

  154. Moniker Challenged says:

    Heaven forbid my
    In-laws see this; once again
    Crappy Christmas gift.

  155. Steve Evans says:

    Number 119,
    Alas! I have no lucre.
    Hookers and cocaine.

  156. Where are the redheads?
    This Harvard law student is
    Smelling a lawsuit

  157. Damn’d pettifoggers
    Corrupt fountains sparkling pure.
    But M’Naghten rules!

  158. Token democrat
    My sweet John F Kennedy
    Where is Maralyn?

  159. Ronald Reagan note:
    “True patriot of freedom”
    Tell me what that means

    ————

    On his “about” link
    Mormon roots not hidden
    He paints temples too!

  160. Art? Impossible!
    To see such strokes conjures but
    One word: MacNaughton!

  161. Young boy tells Jesus
    Secret map’s on the back of
    The Constitution.

    Young boy asks Jesus
    Why does the Constitution
    Sanction slavery?

  162. Four of five non-white
    in the very back. It harks
    back to days of bus?

  163. Bad politician
    Don’t care for constituents
    How d’you spin this one?

  164. For all non-lawyers:
    M’Naughton is legal test
    for insanity.

  165. Union soldier cries,
    but black civil war soldier
    is not tormented.

    Explains McNaughton
    “the blacks” willingly did what
    they were told to do.

    I guess that’s how you
    make minorities happy:
    tell them what to do.

  166. It’s a cover-up!
    Where is Joseph Smith, you ask?
    X-ray the painting!

  167. Why Davey Crockett?
    Because “Killed him a b’ar when
    he was only three?”

  168. Propaganda art
    Arnold Friberg would be proud
    Saints be praised!

  169. Benjamin Franklin
    Gots his eyes on that cutie
    With the baby bump

  170. Sequoya wonders:
    Why not Sacagawea?
    There goes my street cred!

  171. Lawyer with cash wad
    Knows: always, always get a
    fricking retainer

  172. Ronald Reagan looks
    dapper for a president
    made of solid wood

  173. It’s Davy Crockett!
    His theme song is excellent
    Nice coon skin cap too

  174. Is that you Justice
    Breyer? Administrative
    law makes me cry too

  175. Only one Native
    American in the bunch
    So many white guys

  176. Abraham Lincoln
    Bows to Satan. Offers soul
    to escape painting

  177. I can’t find Satan.
    Do I not see him because
    I am just too pure?

  178. World War I soldier
    sings “Stop! In the Name of Love” –
    A.I. audition?

  179. Look for Emperor
    Palpatine right behind the
    smug Hollywood guy.

  180. ...just call me cassandra says:

    Little do they know
    Anti-Christ in belly grows
    Dad is Democrat…

  181. Only figures with
    no explanation: business
    woman and Satan

  182. Oops, I forgot the
    handicapped child. Or should it
    be “handicap”? Huh.

  183. Business woman – does
    she wear pants? If so, move her
    to the other side.

  184. Christian minister –
    from this angle he looks like
    Merrill J. Bateman

  185. Main Street Plaza gays
    Hauled away by rent-a-cops.
    Who would Jesus cuff?

  186. MoHoHawaii,
    Haikus can’t disguise a troll.
    Don’t make me ban you.

  187. Kevin Barney says:

    One thing I don’t get–
    I’ve looked until my eyes bled:
    Where’s the Brady Bunch?

  188. One hundred eighty:
    How much I totally love
    your s’pernal comment!

  189. Aaron Brown says:

    Glenn Beck is a tool
    Relevant to this artwork?
    No, but I don’t care.

  190. Latter-day Guy says:

    Where is Rosa Parks?
    Is she not good enough? –– Oh,
    Tubman took her seat.
    _________________

    On his “about” link
    Mormon roots not hidden
    He paints temples too!

    Little do you know…
    This is just a study for
    Temple mural.
    “Nnnooooooooooo!”

  191. Latter-day Guy says:

    (Oops. “Nooo” should be end of the third line…)

  192. Jefferson. A stick.
    His eyes stare slyly ahead,
    Watch out, Jesus! Run!

  193. The Bloggernacle
    Where all are welcome but trolls
    I like being here

  194. Washington looks left
    pledging allegiance to who?
    Oh no, look, Satan!

  195. News Reporter’s sin
    is her leftist agenda
    not found on Fox News

    Fox News alone saves
    This country from the lefties
    Fair and Balanced News

    —————————–

    (Its a chiasmic
    Haiku so it must be true,
    heard it on Fox News)

  196. Best bumper sticker:
    Frodo failed. Bush has the ring.
    Reminds me: Where’s George?

  197. The leaves change color
    Equal absorber of all light
    He’s my President

  198. Abigail Adams
    pleads–must I wear this hat for
    all eternity?

  199. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    Generation next
    With great boldness points (in vain)
    To amendment 1.

  200. Where is Sitting Bull?
    How about Spotted Eagle?
    American Horse?

    All the great Sioux chiefs?
    You call this America?
    This is really sad.

  201. Dolly Madison:
    Your pastries go unmentioned.
    It’s a travesty.

  202. Ronald Regan is
    The true anti-christ, watch out
    Mister Hollywood!

    I am going rogue
    School teacher looks like Palin
    But where is her gun?

  203. Artist/Storm trooper,
    ‘That’s not the text you’re looking for’
    (said with a hand wave)

  204. Poor Richard/Ben Franklin
    Are you having heart trouble?
    Too many French dainties?

  205. Brilliant marketing!
    McNaughton is the Kinkade
    of Mormony kitsch.

  206. Judge covering eyes
    Looks like DC Circuit Judge
    My stake president

    Biology Prof
    I think it’s Talmage himself
    Or maybe Eyring

    Lawyer might be a
    Young version of Elder Oaks
    Counting out tithing

    And the reporter
    Symbol of freedom of speech
    Keeps others honest

    McNaughton will be
    Disappointed when these four
    Make it to heaven

    Many surprises
    When Christ returns and judges
    With his own standard.

  207. bad art but even worse
    the ignorant commentary
    embedded in it

    nice to read haiku
    blog reader’s share their insights
    artist less thoughtful

  208. (And yes, I know Talmage and Eyring weren’t biology professors. But they were scientists, and accepted evolution).

  209. commenters can’t see
    they’ve just made M’Naugton very rich
    free advertizing

    but, they still protest,
    these haikus ridicule him
    make fun of the art

    and that is the point:
    perceived bias can become
    true badge of honor

    M’Naughton can boast
    I made “liberals” upset
    their evil unveil’d

  210. Brave new world order
    Too bad Jesus blocks the sun
    Everyone looks cold

    Boy is so confused:
    “Church and State shall not be fused”
    Jesus not amused

  211. (#209)

    Nail hit on the head!
    Ridiculing bad “art” makes
    artist lionized!

  212. because of this thread
    I sent my wife a haiku
    in a text message

  213. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    ‘Naughton’s big surprise:
    Haiku stint at BCC
    Yields adoring fans.

  214. John F. misses point.
    Even conservatives can
    can see that this stinks.

    Honestly, that he
    reversed the Atonement for
    politics just reeks.

    I am sure that he means
    well enough, but whatever
    this is, it ain’t right.

    This mash up doesn’t
    meet any conservative norm
    for theology.

    I would assume that
    even the Christian right would
    shun a connection.

    But what do I know? I
    once claimed that George Bush envied
    this Hollywood guy.

  215. Ack! messed up the last one.

    But what do I know?
    I claimed that George Bush envied
    this Hollywood guy.

    much better.

  216. Haiku comment stream,
    now I’m all hungry for some
    California rolls.

  217. John C., I agree
    conservatives can sure see
    it fails certainly

  218. “But what do I know”
    inadvertently confessed
    latent Glenn Beck love

  219. (206)
    The judge you speak of
    I believe he just might be
    related to me

  220. you forgot our anniversary
    and lame haiku
    does not make up for it

  221. uhhhhh

  222. Family doctor says,
    “Would you like me to treat your
    MRSA with old drugs

    Or new ones that are
    Intelligently designed?
    It’s your life, Fundie.”

    Token black student
    Gets to sit in front ’cause he
    Knows his place, yes sir.

  223. Mormons in haiku
    demonstrate free agency,
    pass the Turing test

  224. many creative comments
    and lack of verbosity–
    all threads should be haiku

  225. Haikus not verbose
    So RTS won’t comment?
    All in favor, “Click”

  226. I’ve been a lurker
    for over three years. Haikus
    make us all equal.

  227. Three years!??!? REALLY long time
    to sit there, staring, idle
    while I ban the trolls.

  228. Katie, this thread is
    nothing without your poems.
    Guest post in haiku!

  229. Raymond Takashi
    Swenson is nearly a whole
    haiku by himself.

  230. I claim two three oh.
    It is my comment. Not yours.
    Pride in silly deed.

  231. Moniker Challenged says:

    Feel very cultured
    For having read two thirty
    Haiku in one day

  232. Haiku in English
    Ersatz. California
    Rolls also. Bogus.

  233. Comment #220

    Best of ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!

  234. Moniker Challenged says:

    If Good is Gondor
    And Evil hails from Naboo
    Where is Gallifrey?

  235. LDS haiku,
    yet not a one containing,
    “And it came to pass…”

  236. all kidding aside
    great use of color and blend
    even if pol’tics dif.

    and i have to say
    joseph smith was not a blonde
    just look at his pic?

  237. Aaron Brown says:

    The Church of Jesus
    Christ of Latter-day Saints’ name’s
    annoyingly long.

  238. Aaron Brown says:

    BCC is soooo
    PC, while T&S is
    all ’bout T&A.

  239. (219)
    An intellectual
    and thoughtful conservative.
    I have great respect.

  240. All left-hand goats will
    Sorrow one day. Remember
    Cipher in the Snow?

  241. Thomas Jefferson
    Looks like Lu-ci-us Malfoy.
    Now I’m just petty.

    (Lucius is 2 or 3 syllables?)

  242. rockin’ haiku poets
    don’t count syllables
    just freestyle, homeskillet!

  243. Each haiku is brief.
    But as a group you risk a
    Repeat of this thing.

  244. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    Weston, hang it up
    Trying hard to be all that
    Haiku doesn’t rhyme

  245. Haikus are discrete.
    Where is continuity?
    Not my fav’rite post.

  246. Ardis, no repeats.
    PBR 10 was a fluke
    beautiful, sad, fluke.

  247. Ardis tossed the glove,
    A new challenge for our times,
    One thousand haiku!

  248. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    #235

    Weston, I repent.
    Using secret Mormon words
    Earns you a gold star.

  249. Immigrant worker!
    Worship freely as you please;
    But only our God.

  250. With time we forget.
    ‘Nam war is accepted?
    Inane art deceives.

  251. Wrong Sad Sequoyah.
    Our constitution failed you.
    Do not look to us.

  252. Don’t take it away.
    This book sheds light on our past.
    I tightly hold on.

  253. Wrong Sad Sequoyah
    Our haikus failed you. Should be
    Strong Sad Sequoyah.

  254. Your death was tragic.
    For the want of an O-ring!
    He did not save you.

  255. Which book? Monkey Show
    or Half Millennial Leap?
    Which grip might soon slip?

  256. Not Eisenhower!
    The Congo’s blood is on you.
    Capitalism!

  257. Those scattered papers
    Gave you some rights not found in
    The Constitution.

  258. A large signature.
    Yet you are left to the left
    Corner unseen there.

  259. Haiku fills my brain
    I try but can’t stop reading
    Oh please make it stop

    Thirteen-score haikus
    Each more inane than the last
    When will it all end?

  260. I would cry also.
    Fundamentalism thrives
    In this ignorance.

  261. Tomatoes and squash,
    Zucchini, basil, peppers,
    All will frost tonight. :(

  262. A handicapped child.
    Quick sir, call the good doctor
    Trained well by science.

  263. Farmer and Framer
    Educate thyself with truth.
    God may be elsewhere.

  264. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    MikeInWeHo, speak!
    Does sardonic movie guy
    Live right down the street?

  265. Your view of the world.
    Is your symbolism fair?
    Not to me it’s not.

  266. I still contend that
    that child is not handicapped.
    Welfare fraud, I think.

  267. John C is correct.
    Thank you for righting a “Wrong.”
    Alliteration.

  268. A litter nation?
    Will no-one clean up the steps
    on which those folk sit?

  269. Perfect change in words
    Imagination is light;
    Joy in creation.

  270. Wisdom in five feet?
    Even coffins are longer.
    There ain’t no free lunch!

  271. #236

    That Tracy got sued
    Pretty book, so poorly done
    This is too easy.

  272. Julie M. Smith says:

    Ardis:

    It will be ninety
    degrees here tomorrow–ugh
    I’d rather have frost!

  273. My tomatoes curse
    thee, Julie M. Smith! They will
    die before their time.

  274. I would rather you
    Have the frost, too, Julie, and
    Spare my fresh veggies.

  275. Zoroastrian
    antidiscrimination
    opportunity

  276. Ardis Stew, fresh too,
    Should the frost decide to come,
    Salad otherwise.

  277. One thousand haikus–
    No problem! I can do this
    with one hand chopped off.

  278. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    Westerners, take note:
    Haiku plural has no s.
    Simply say haiku.

  279. Blogs fertilized with
    R-E-S-P-E-C-T
    turn tares into wheat

  280. The family doctor
    Yay! He’s one of the good guys!
    This artwork rocks.

  281. How sad that this art
    Taught me that Davy Crockett
    Was a real man!

  282. I can’t help but ask–
    Why would Jesus care about
    Gibbons v. Ogden?

  283. #278,

    So now no plural s?
    And proscriptively obsess
    Before haiku you bless.

    Soper-san abhors
    Rhyme which haiku underscores
    How the purist roars!

    Give your rules a rest
    Grating rhyme is rhythm’s zest
    Fusion food tastes best.

  284. Bravo, Dan Weston!
    Master of haiku and rhyme–
    A winning combo.

  285. Benjamin Franklin
    is in the vile painting twice.
    (Look at the money!)

  286. Some starts look quite dim.
    Some stars will shine much brighter.
    Jesus has favorites?

    Liberal news lady
    Clearly does not work for Fox.
    Stop spewing your lies!

    Mister McNaughton,
    Thomas Kinkade just called you
    he wants his style back.

  287. Skousen-ite student
    eyes Abigail Adams with
    lust. Thinks: “Get it, girrrrrl!”

  288. Kathryn Lynard Soper says:

    Soper-san sees light:
    Weston fusion burns abright.
    Wrongness feels so right.

  289. Wait 25 more years
    Obama will have to be
    Painted in. Last laugh

  290. Black historical
    Figures hidden in the back,
    Tubman, can’t see you!

  291. American flag,
    receives no description love.
    What gives, McNaughton?

  292. The inanity
    Of many ‘nacle figures
    Farting on bad art

    Out of many pols
    Only one is with the goats.
    Oh! Is that Romney?

  293. Is lawyer lucre
    filthier than cash spent on
    insipid glicees?

  294. Jesus: “Um. Hold on.
    I said I don’t work with kids.
    Brad, call my agent.”

  295. John Jay often teased:
    “John Jay-cob Jingleheimer
    Schmidt!” He’s not laughing.

  296. John Hancock beats all.
    Who says size doesn’t matter?
    Bigger is better!

  297. Holy smokes, woman!
    So, so many great haiku.
    Kate: eight-cow poet.

  298. 8 AM meeting.
    Some last haiku before bed:
    Fisher Ames? Random.

  299. Nate Hale: blond hottie!
    Wishes he were like a cat.
    Nine lives? Wicked sweet!

  300. Haiku three hundred!
    Only seven hundred more.
    This is just the start!

  301. Aaron Brown says:

    This thread is too long
    Don’t you people have real lives?
    Time to go to bed.

  302. Perhaps I am ill,
    Can’t stop thinking in haiku
    please, someone help me…

  303. Wait! What’s that I see?
    Family Doctor on the stairs!
    Could he have a cure?

  304. Alas, it’s no use.
    Health insurance I have none
    Public option, then?…

  305. My great-aunt offered
    My dad a McNaughton print
    I hope not this one

  306. Imagine Jesus
    Holding the Constitution
    On your wall at home

  307. Don’t you understand?
    Symbollism tells the truth
    This is symbolic

  308. What would Dan Brown say?
    Where is Mary Magdalene?
    Ask the Vatican.

  309. Pregnancy is bad
    But still you must have children
    Time to learn to clone

  310. Though frankly I could
    Not paint anything like this
    Not that I would try

  311. My children await
    Their breakfast, and yet I still
    Feel compelled to write

  312. Thanks to the painting
    I now parent in Haiku
    Children roll their eyes

  313. Haiku is not an
    American form of art
    What would Lincoln think?

  314. Politician talks
    On his phone, Apocalypse
    Next time, try Twitter

  315. chill, supreme court judge
    don’t be such a big baby
    just pick the stuff up

  316. something isn’t right
    this don’t look like the temple
    in independence!

  317. Oh, smug professor
    why don’t you use Just For Men?
    maybe touch of grey?

  318. A good night’s sleep past,
    I rise to find McNaughton,
    Nightmare in plain day.

  319. World War II soldier
    Middle-aged by Vietnam
    But still you fought there

  320. Christa McAuliffe,
    Doomed for all eternity
    To wear her spacesuit.

  321. けっこんは
    オバマによれば
    オカマだめ

    Kekkon wa
    Obama ni yoreba
    Okama dame

    As for marriage ways,
    According to Obama
    No way for the gays.

  322. Only Union weeps.
    So those killed in other wars,
    Were they not brothers?

    [ in particular: ]

    Rev’lution’ry War, then too
    Neighbor fought neighbor, recall.
    Many were Tories.

  323. No, foreign blood would
    Count if, an immigrant, he
    fought in red white blue

  324. Aaron Brown says:

    けっこんは オバマによれば オカマ
    オカマだめ けっこんは オバマによれば
    オバマによればオカマだめ けっこ

  325. McNaughton paints well
    Much, much better than I could
    But he’s a Beck hack.

    Three hundred-plus posts?
    If we don’t stop soon, I fear,
    McNaughton will gloat

  326. You misunderstood
    Your Japanese is no good
    Explain if you would

  327. Backward, regressive,
    Devolved, arrested, reversed.
    Five-thousand-year leap.

  328. Regressive, backward,
    Devolved, degraded, reversed:
    Five-thousand-year leap.

  329. Have I for some reason been dumped into the mod queue? I didn’t think my haikus were THAT bad …

  330. Ardis, you are saved.
    I mean from mod queue, at least.
    Can’t speak to soul’s fate. :-)

  331. Soul’s fate is just fine.
    I said pledge of allegiance,
    McNaughton will save!

  332. BCC can’t win!
    too heterodox for some
    too orthodox, too.

  333. “Mormon Matters” in,
    But BCC is kicked off?
    GHS’ nonsense.

  334. Maybe your blog would
    Be better received if tru-
    ly heterodox

  335. d’oh.

  336. October Ensign
    Blogs the Word, no BCC.
    They saw this thread—NOT.

  337. Nothing Wavering
    And Gently Hew Stone both like
    Keepapitchinin.

    So why do I slum
    Here at BCC with you?
    You are the cool kids!

    Cool kids, repent ye!
    Be more orthodox like me!
    Repent, and warm up.

    (Whose is this bloody,
    Ston-ed’, bruis-ed’ corpse? Alas!
    She dissed BCC!)

  338. I’m sorry Ardis
    But you just can’t do multi-
    Stanza haiku.

    [That last word is three syllables in Japanese. I can still count!]

  339. Then, Mark B., pray tell,
    What is it that I just did?
    I break all the rules.

  340. Three hundred forty:
    Tales told by an idiot–
    With a kiss, it dies.

  341. what would cross his mind
    were McNaughton to see this
    would he be real mad?

  342. He would paint us all
    On the lowest steps of hell.
    But then, he IS mad.

  343. Grey, red-eyed Satan
    Looks like a TV version–
    Buffy-type demon.

    But we know better!
    According to Joseph Smith
    He’s a handsome dude.

  344. Scheherazade told
    a story a day. Haiku
    are much easier.

  345. Sunken eyes, limp hair,
    eyeing pregnant lady’s brains–
    Zombie Reporter!

  346. (343)
    Even Joss Whedon
    Knows that the biggest evil
    Appears beautiful.

  347. (Re: 346)
    Neil Patrick Harris’
    Dr Horrible can be
    my baby daddy!

  348. *monocle pops out*
    What abominable rot
    Is this? Good day, sir!

  349. Left Field says:

    Please say it’s satire
    Mocking the right wing nutjobs
    Who think this nonsense

  350. Aaron Brown says:

    Jack and Jill went up
    the hill to fetch a pail of
    water. Dude, the end.

  351. Left Field says:

    I know professor
    A nun who teaches Darwin
    Damn her godless soul.

  352. Left Field says:

    College student good
    College professor evil
    How can this be so?

  353. Darwin is too soft
    Professor should hold Dawkins’
    The God Delusion

  354. Ziff, LOL!

  355. Sorry, no haiku. I just couldn’t help but be reminded of this political cartoon:

    That Jesus would fit so much better.

  356. SGarff FTW!
    Gun-toting, muscled, tattooed
    Jesus is awesome!

  357. Aaron Brooks says:

    Why is that woman
    Who wants to keep her baby
    Over with those guys?

  358. Who is the father?
    She’s not sure who to name in
    paternity suit.

  359. Pregnant lady points
    accusatorily. Says,
    “Preacher knocked me up!”

  360. Oh, noble painting
    Spawns new form of poetry:
    the Uruk-haiku.

  361. Left Field says:

    Prof’s blurb is missing
    Possessive apostrophe.
    That just drives me nuts.

  362. At least the Soviets
    Were upfront about their use
    Of propaganda.

  363. Haiku tsunami
    Finally calming down to
    Soft waves of funny

  364. Look oh so closely
    The school teacher’s gotta be
    Sarah Palin’s clone

  365. You know you’ve arrived
    When your painting makes it on
    The Huffington Post

  366. Steve Evans says:

    HuffPo, den of libs —
    McNaughton warned us of you!
    Palpatine’s bloggers.

  367. Cynthia L. says:

    One more PR coup!
    Hails from the Palpatine side,
    Andrew Sullivan.

  368. nate nash says:

    Dude seriously
    This painting makes my sides hurt
    American christ

  369. Ness Niemand says:

    We are all so smug,
    But I fear that the painting
    Speaks for the masses.

  370. Think of Bob Dylan
    Who wrote a great song about
    God on our side.

  371. Atheist Missionary says:

    Dumbed-Down Forefathers
    Americanized Jesus
    Lincoln sings “Mammy.”

  372. Jellodyne says:

    He sent King to Iraq?
    Roadside IED as
    standin James Earl Ray?

  373. Jellodyne says:

    Iraq has secret
    syllable development
    program – I’m stupid

  374. Spoof site has bad words
    But the captions are funny
    Beware the F Bomb!

  375. apropos of SteveP #37:

    Don’t worry JC:
    If Satan does come closer
    I’ll Darwin his ass.

  376. Blasphemer sullies
    God’s nature, see the end of
    Matthew 25.

    Further, never knew
    Jesus was an Aryan man.
    Fair-haired yehudim?

    Of course, soldiers there.
    Constantine f***ed up
    wed the Cross to steel.

  377. Me again!

    Deniers of Christ
    Among those standing behind
    Historians cringe.

    White House not painted
    The Son as Executive?
    Again, blasphemy!

    Christian speaking here,
    Painting reflects apostates
    Weds force to my God.

  378. A little deeper:

    Adventists flee
    for their Christian liberty
    from these ideas.

    Tertullian asks:
    “What has Athens to do with
    Jerusalem?” but

    I respond: “Athens?
    Aren’t Rome and Jerusalem
    stranger bedfellows?”

  379. Violence, empire
    contradict the Lord’s Gospel
    Rome on Great Salt Lakes?

    Why are ASIANS good
    yet absent of white Jesus?
    I do resent that!

    Oh, wait, I get it!
    Few yellow Mormons means
    Absence of Gospel.

    Presbyterians
    laugh at McNaughton because
    they’re all Korean!

    It’s apparent that
    LDS stand beyond Calvin’s
    elect, they blaspheme!

    “My kingdom is not
    of this world,” so are Yankees
    foreign aliens?

    The Lord will punish
    this nation for its abuse
    of his Holy Name.

  380. Dropped a syllable in my original post…fixed:

    Think of Bob Dylan
    Who wrote a great song he called
    With God On Our Side.”

  381. spsukaton says:

    Apologies if my previous posts come off as confrontational – they’re commentaries on McNaughton’s art and worldview, and not stabs at anyone present.

    (Sook)

  382. Steve Evans says:

    Sook, please don’t worry!
    Your worst crime by far, no doubt
    is haiku failure.

  383. Aaron Brown says:

    Supercalifrag
    ilisticexpiali
    docious is a song.

  384. spsukaton says:

    Failure? You slay me.
    Am I truly so awful?
    I did try my best!

  385. Aaron Brown says:

    Haikus are stupid
    You all think you’re so clever
    You’re wrong so just quit.

  386. spsukaton says:

    Aaron’s got a point.
    I’mma peace out for the night.
    It’s been real, people!

  387. Aaron Brown says:

    De do do do de
    da da da is all I have
    to say to you, dude.

  388. Like one thousand cranes
    Haiku cannot change what is
    only what becomes

  389. Evanescent praise
    Lest an addict I become
    Vainglory denied

  390. No Haiku this time,
    Just a site with new descriptions of the painting:

    http://www.shortpacked.com/McNaughton%20Fine%20Art.htm

  391. Token black man holds
    Glenn Beck bible. Did you know
    Beck is a Mormon?

  392. Dear Sook, no harm done.
    Just note that this isn’t Mor-
    mon. It’s just crazy

  393. Considering
    Two century selection
    for creationism

  394. John, go to Salt Lake
    Mormon iconography
    is everywhere

  395. shams, check About page.
    Mormons hang out around here.
    John knows SLC.

  396. Shams, I’m in Utah
    County. Mormoniest place
    EVA! Jon’s art’s nuts.

  397. Steve Evans says:

    U.K. Telegraph,
    Here’s a telegraph for you:
    poetry website a MORMON website.

  398. Eric Russell says:

    Oh yes BCC
    You are poetry to me
    Yeats reads with envy

  399. Telegraph, fear not.
    We’ve long done poetry here
    just follow this link.

  400. Painting show the way
    Pseudohagiography
    sells better than truth.

    Missionaries rap
    Book of Mormon in haiku
    Old wine in new skins.

  401. Dan’s haiku progress
    As spring’s youth to summertime
    grows mature and fine.

  402. Peter LLC says:

    Poetry site? Word.
    Gonna gaffle some hubcaps
    along with your rhymes.

  403. 912 project rules
    Mormon Cleon Skousen was
    too mad for mormons

  404. A Telegraph link
    Meant to promote poetry
    Proselytes instead

  405. The spoof site is great,
    But its targets never saw
    End of Evangelion.

    Judicial review-
    Surely one of the many
    Fruits of Satan’s church.

    Don’t tell McNaughton
    About Deism! Liberal
    Bias, it must be.

    I like Reagan- peace
    Through having more nukes than the
    Dirty Communists.

    Speaking of commies,
    How’d Eisenhower get here?
    Great Society?

    Ricky Gervais? I
    Think Mr. Hollywood is
    Sean Bean/Boromir.

    If Hollywood is
    Sin, what made Reagan so great?
    Must’ve been the Contras.

  406. My writing teacher
    docked points off of my poems.
    Ugh. Back to Haiku.

    Anyone notice
    the site is called “McNaughton
    Fine Art?” Ironic.

  407. The Second Coming
    Jesus judges living, dead
    Who will make the cut?

    Telestial left
    Terrestrial in the back
    Celestial right

    What to do with boy?
    Mom on right, dad on the left
    Mercy called for here.

  408. Mighty lamenting
    Over my first haiku! It’s
    Five-seven-seven…

  409. This reminds me of
    The web site, failblog [dot] com
    Epic Fail, I think

    One nation for all
    The only one that will count
    Rest of the world gone?

    Worship as we please?
    The immigrant clearly thinks
    Then how come two sides?

  410. Poor supreme justice
    He dropped all of his papers
    It’s a sad sad day

  411. Beside lawyers cash,
    A subtle name can be read
    McNaughton in black

  412. lady of castle anthrax says:

    Good sir knight, Gowain,
    We have but one punishment
    For faulty haiku.

  413. Pray tell, good lady,
    What punishment will befall
    Me for my poems?

  414. cLive ;-) says:

    This picture works well
    But it has a greater pull
    with a new subject

  415. Mr. Hollywood
    Laughing at the court justice
    Jesus spooked him bad.

  416. BillyDinPVD says:

    Is not a Union
    Soldier, but Glenn Beck sobbing
    In historic drag.

  417. The dread Lord Cthulhu
    Takes his rightful place among
    Zombie presidents:

  418. No Telling says:

    Jon McNaughton sir!
    “Make no wrong use of My name.”
    Sinned you have. Repent!

  419. Amerika ga
    suki. nihon dou
    iesu-sama?

  420. (translation)

    You like America
    But What about Japan?
    Jesus?

  421. Mark Brown says:

    Y to McNaughton:
    Please take your “art” and shove it.
    McNaughton sucks thumb.

  422. Kevin Barney says:

    BYU Bookstore
    O mirabile dictu!
    Fin’ly grows a pair.

  423. Mark Brown says:

    Samuelson disses
    constitution. White horses
    riding to rescue.

  424. Mark Brown says:

    McNaughton’s blog has
    comments funnier than this
    great and spacious blog.

  425. Jon’s art nobly goes
    like a lamb to the slaughter
    its blood be avenged!

  426. Mark Brown says:

    Real reason Y dumped
    McNaughton: He can’t show a
    birth certificate.

  427. BYU transgressed
    Tea Party Orthodoxy
    Monson should resign.

  428. First Rodin’s “The Kiss”
    Now God’s favorite artist’s work
    Second Coming looms!

  429. BYU a den
    of librul iniquity
    Time to shut it down!

  430. McNaughton suppressed.
    Yet bookstore sells naughty books!
    Cats and Dogs hook up!

  431. Mark Brown says:

    Anti-caucasian,
    Berk’ley-loving lib’ruls: Shame!
    Fools mock, but they’ll mourn!

  432. City of Manti
    Home to the Univer’sty
    of Abinadi.

    No more shall our young
    have to attend such lib’ral
    schools as BYU.

  433. Mark Brown says:

    All righteous peeps know
    An Enemy Hath Done This.
    Surely these are last days.

  434. Left Field says:

    McNaughton’s painting
    And politics exhibit
    Foul idolatry

  435. McNaughton Fine Art
    A remarkable display
    Poe’s Corollary

  436. Eric Russell says:

    Everyone knows that
    the great and spacious building
    is called the HFAC.

  437. Mommie Dearest says:

    Highly trained artists
    Know their visual language.
    Don’t need words to ‘splain.

  438. This guy mixes paint
    With high-fructose corn syrup,
    Diabetic art.

  439. BCC at last
    with will and grace you now show
    winter yields to spring.

    Now with passion cooled
    No longer the sap which runs
    Perma frost thawed out.

    Such a climate change
    McNaughton out, and we in
    Perhaps there is a God.

  440. Peter LLC says:

    Steve Davis, P.I.
    Uncovers LDS Plot
    WTF brother?

    http://www.bridgingtruth.com/Letter.html

  441. I fear he is right
    Because study at the Y
    Turned me liberal.

  442. Peter LLC says:

    Conspiracy and
    Backroom deals. Who calls the shots
    at the BYU?

    Jon sees through the fog.
    Democrats with loud voices
    Divide the nation.

  443. Peter LLC says:

    Jon’s vision, his dream
    scorned like the prophet of old
    in his own country.

  444. completely crazy
    to think of BYU as
    a liberal place

  445. A complete shocker
    Y bungles situation
    Oh my fetchin’ heck!

  446. re #443

    Dear Peter, check out
    the limo station wagon,
    linked letter, page 2

  447. Peter LLC says:

    Move over, Beauville.
    This limo wagon the choice
    For Mormon execs.

  448. Listen up, Librulz
    God loves didactic art and
    Jesus does too; so…

  449. Next time just try this:
    Cougs on right hand, Utes on left –
    I’d buy one of those.

  450. Laugh like maniac
    at Kevin Barney’s and more.
    Great resurrection!

  451. King estate saves from
    fate worse than death…to be in
    McNaughton painting.

  452. Ron Madson says:

    McNaughton divides
    Jesus: if not one not mine
    Well done BYU

  453. Moniker Challenged says:

    Methinks the commies
    Infiltrated the Y through
    Campus fluoride plot

  454. lindberg says:

    If bad art inspires
    This epic haiku thread
    Is it thus redeemed?

  455. lindberg FTW
    McNaughton deemed aesthetic
    tears are shed, hearts warmed

  456. oops, lindberg messed up
    5-6-5 does not cut it
    but it still wins out

  457. Moniker Challenged says:

    Crazy is as does
    Crazy did , the Y suppressed
    Crazy reponds–eep!

  458. You think haiku is
    Two beats; but in Japanese
    Haiku is three

  459. Not to pick at nits,
    But how many syllables
    Are in “W”?

    :)

  460. conservatives cry
    not because of BYU
    but because people buy this

    lindberg I’m in the south so you can have as many syllables as you need ;)

  461. I stand corrected
    On the haiku bit, sure
    But “For the Win” stands.

  462. I had a nightmare
    This painting was prominent.
    Now I’ve wet my pants.

  463. Please forgive the snark
    Of course, FTW is fine
    Just having some fun

  464. McNaughton: Who could
    Take you as seriously
    As you take yourself?

  465. Pity McNaughton,
    All your McArt posturing
    comes to McNothing.

    Who will take your side?
    I have polled the applicants!
    Ronald McDonald!

  466. Reggie L. says:

    And on the third day
    God made the B-52
    To save America.

  467. Ding dong, art is dead!
    BYU banninates crap
    that sells like hot cakes.

    McNaughton: Don’t care
    if your art is all holy.
    The painting still sucks.

  468. Black union soldier
    And Frederick Douglas, too:
    Get behind the whites.

  469. I feel so guilty
    I love the painting because
    it inspired this thread

    paint more Mc Naughton
    you are almost as fun as
    peta and Don Trump ;)

  470. PETA and Trump differ
    First has good heart but weak brain
    Second has neither.

  471. Nat Whilk says:

    The Bloggernacle
    Believes that snarkiness is
    Next to godliness

  472. Dan, I’m confused.
    Trump has bad heart and strong brain?
    Or no heart, no brain?

  473. Katie trumps Dan’s trump?
    Yet do I sense a strawman?
    Wish I was brainy…

  474. Scott B., you’re half right.
    Trump is the love-child of the
    Tin Man and Scarecrow.

  475. Why’d Dor’thy leave Oz?
    Maybe she is colorblind.
    Paradise unfound.

  476. Ben Pratt says:

    The wonderful thing
    About tiggers is tiggers
    Are wonderful things.

    The work and blog hours
    Have ended for this evening.
    Hot wife, let’s go out.

  477. Just gonna say that
    When he calls his work ONUG
    The Libruls have won.

  478. Cleon Skousen is
    The philosopher Beck loves.
    This artist does too.

  479. BYU nutters
    Turn verse-quote scorn on their own.
    Just one word: KARMA.

  480. Can’t stop laughing, still.
    Such creativity – wow!
    McNaughton? Much worse.

  481. fine art or find art
    guda swiss chedder fontina
    I like mine sharp like chedder
    (this stuff is why artists starve)

  482. BYU needs more
    respect for diversity
    not really bad art.

  483. It won’t bother me
    if crazy right-wingers stay
    away from the Y.

  484. Summary in verse
    Now you don’t have to click link
    To make head explode

    What the heck, oh Y?
    I must now pull my art out.
    You lie then censure.

    Evolution taught,
    Democrats a campus club;
    Lib’rals run the school.

    Jon, we stand with you!
    The end-times must be nearing,
    Can’t send kids there now

    On my wall it hangs,
    E’en “One Nation Under God”
    It converts my friends

    Harvard of the West
    Now Berkley of the mountains
    Y is communist

    Just look at course list!
    ‘Multiculturalism”
    anti-caucasian!

    This crap is not art.
    Not politics that killed it,
    Just lousy technique

    Apostate critic!
    Pretends to be on ‘right’ side
    but goat in disguise

    Liberalism
    is a mental disorder
    Alert APA

    Abinidi U!
    The Y is run by “kingmen”
    Next GC kicked out!

    Jon, you’re so funny!
    So many don’t get satire.
    Wait, you’re serious?!?

  485. McNaughton Fine Art?
    McNaugton FINE Art it says?
    Laffing my ass off.

  486. Markie FTW!
    That was just amazing, dude.
    This line counts to five.

  487. thebookofarmaments says:

    If Darwin is right
    Then how are those commenters
    Still procreating?

    Their twisted logic
    Should have caused their karmic deaths
    Many years ago.

  488. A nineties rapper
    Markie Mark lays down the truth.
    A haiku ringer?

    Its not really fair
    that a lyrical poet
    drops beats on a blog.

    How shall my haiku
    Stand against a rapping pro?
    Not to mention abs.

  489. Mostly I just lurk,
    me and my non six-pack abs.
    Dude is a dude-ette.

  490. Dude-ette, huh? That’s weird.
    I loved your work: Four Brothers.
    Italian Job? Meh.

  491. Glurgy art makes Jon
    the Mormon Thomas Kinkade.
    Like we needed one.

  492. sarcasticmuppet says:

    Aw, poor butthurt Jon
    History will remember…
    Except not at all

  493. I was a poet
    and didn’t even
    know it

  494. 497 does
    rhyme, but ain’t haiku with two
    or three syllables –

    thus proving adage:
    “Not all poetry equal
    in Bloggernacle.”

  495. Oh golden clothen
    Jesus, smite these liberals
    in they great mercy

    Their smithereens blown
    by the power of the flag
    and Constitution

    Because, oh Golden
    One, they like our Obama
    Think diff’rent than me

    And about that man
    Even President Barack
    doth tread on thy word

    As I have striven
    to show in my other great
    work of materpiece

  496. Typos and typos
    Methinks I spend enough time
    But alas, not true

    My last great stanza
    should end with the wondrous line
    “work of masterpiece”

  497. Ray, it was a joke (and also a quote from Princess Bride)

  498. Jacob M doth quote
    Book of Armaments, methinks.
    Am I right, good sir?

    How awesome t’would be
    If bunny let loose in one
    of Jon’s painting’s crowds!

  499. Lurker for three years
    Laughing so, so very hard,
    I have to comment.

  500. Oh, Cynthia L.
    Rightly hast thou mind thoughteth
    The answer is yeah

  501. it's a series of tubes says:

    On my wall it hangs,
    E’en “One Nation Under God”
    It converts my friends

    A gem among gems
    Contender for a Niblet
    O such majesty!

  502. Princess Bride ref’rence
    covers multiple of sins –
    redeems failed haiku.

  503. “Multiple” should be
    “multitude” of sins covered.
    Head hangs low in shame.

  504. simeen Brown says:

    I pray thanks because
    propaganda is not art
    and hate kills the soul

  505. My artist wife’s book
    of Propaganda Art would
    disagree with that.

    McNaughton does not
    “hate” the dirty liberals
    Just expects to be

    Laughing his head off
    While they are burning in hell.
    Pomposity reigns.

  506. A poetry snob
    reminds poets that haiku
    is about nature.

    The best term for these
    Most beautiful expressions
    Would be senryu.

    I try to restrain
    my own perfectionism
    and never succeed.

  507. I think 500
    haiku is too damn many
    Everyone shut up.

  508. mindless crafty-ness;
    wonder of an ill-claimed past:
    form without substance.

  509. Some don’t like mainstream.
    Five Hundred haiku too much?
    Nah. Aaron = hipster.

  510. Clark-

    The man Pimpernel
    The original poet
    But did you know it?

  511. lindberg says:

    Is he in heavan?
    Or is he in hell? Indeed
    Relates to painting

  512. All of these haiku,
    About the nature of crap,
    Surely qualify.

  513. Mister Alex T.
    Do you refer to South Park’s
    Famous Circle of Poo?

    For those who need a
    Refresher, it is about
    Regeneration

    And how all that poo
    That comes from all animals
    is part of nature

    And thus all of these
    Haiku, with it’s much ado
    About crappy art

    Then it does indeed
    Fit the definition that
    Silver Rain has gave

  514. Oh, holy heavens
    Indeed I have surely done
    A grave haiku foul

    I miscounted two
    Lines. Let the first stanza end,
    “The Circle of Poo?”

    And while I correct
    that error, I might as well
    correct the last line

    Which, when considerd
    Is grammatically awful
    Indeed it is more

    Syntactically full
    Of sin, and thus be in full
    Need of repentence

    And all I’m really
    Saying, the last line should be
    “Silver Rain’s given”

  515. Seems we’ve jumped the shark
    Poetasters without taste
    With no end in sight

  516. (I don’t watch South Park, so no, I was not referencing it.)

  517. Last Lemming says:

    If some of you want broader exposure for your work, the Washington Post Style Invitational is calling you. This week’s contest is to “Write a haiku — which we’ll too broadly define as a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third — on any subject that’s been in the news in the past couple of weeks.”

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/style-invitational-contest-week-917-wryku–humorous-haiku-on-the-news/2011/04/25/AFNhc97E_story.html

    That means your haiku has to be about the controversy, not the painting. You might want to include a link to the Tribune story to prove it has been in the news, since it has not been in the Post.

  518. Andrew C says:

    Embarrassed Mormons
    Get confused when politics hang
    With foyer-masters.

    I am for that art.
    A fool yes. But politics!
    Not Olsen, Dewey…

    Monosyllabic
    Conceptualization
    McNaugton’s haiku.

    Of those involved:
    Parents, patrons…only hell for
    Website designer.

    McNaughton too drunk
    Creates his own worlds before
    God says “cool do it.”

  519. Andrew C says:

    The Sun round the Earth.
    Of course, God round USA
    Haiku round me.

  520. Aaron B says:

    God, if McNaughton
    inherits Celestial bliss
    please send me to Hell.

  521. Josh B. says:

    Feminists whine, feminists complain
    Feminists think of males with all disdain
    I feel a feminist reading this poem
    Should get back and focus on home.

    We’re all at home
    Its as nice as Rome
    Except for the Feminist
    Who probably needs a break from home.

    The male is hungry
    The male makes himself food
    The male is happier
    His feminist came back home.

    We’ve all become feminists
    We’re all pro-feminè
    We all like equality
    at the end of the day.

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