Ok, it’s been rainy and snowy when I can’t go outside and play I turn to the world of my imaginary friends. Since some of my best friends are books, I turn to imaginary books. Such as:
The Gilligan Island Chronicles #126: The Professor’s Bloody Rampage
What happens when The Professor and Mrs. Howl’s affair is discovered? How far will the Professor go to silence the eyewitnesses?
Beard of the Court
Dwarf Lawyer Glimlon Thunderbeard faces his greatest challenge when he is asked to prosecute Nip Boffenbranch chief financial officer of the Hobbit firm Proudfoot, Blom and Babbin. His only witness is a strung-out elf drug addict named Glimmer from the urban elvin-ghetto Lothimore-Scag. Court drama at its finest.
No Voice For Dreams
In this alternate reality, human wannabe and ex-mermaid Arial does not get her kiss, and never gets her voice back. Unable to watch the relatively happy marriage of the Witch Queen Ursula and the prince, she leaves to London where she becomes a proto-mime and realizes while working among the poor and starving citizens that it takes more than having a snarfblat to be happy.
Investigative reporter Garth Stag, cuts through a shady underworld of scientists who have formed a conspiracy to claim that the planet is warming. Faced with men and woman who will do anything to get the next research grant, he braves the dangers of the dark and shady world known as academia, to cut through the Ph.D cabal that threatens the American way.
This 1569 page tome chronicles the multigenerational saga of a bacterial colony trapped in a granite fissure a mile below the Earth in the Canadian Shield. Will a mutation forever change the chemicals thought important since the Cambrian? I won’t spoil it, but read this book!
Yosemite’s Red-faced Conundrum, a retired thoroughbred gelding, has for years rearranged a set of magnetic-words with his mouth on a metallic board mounted in his stall, creating a rich body of poetry. All of them are good, but my favorite was: ‘Oats catapult among blue ants.’ Mostly because I like ants.
I won’t detail these because the titles for the most part give hints of what they are about.
Getting the Most Out of Your Colonoscopy: Cutting through the crap
Reptile Founding Fathers: The Origin of the Constitution in the Late Permian.
Robotic Toothbrushes: a Retrospective (an art-house photography book).
The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Hyenas: What the African Savannah Teaches about Running a Business
Pi: The Newly Discovered Digits of 2009 and What the Liberal Media is Not Telling You About Them
What imaginary books are you reading? Write a short back-cover blurb. Point out real books that sound like imaginary ones! Time for a little late Spring creativity. Who knows maybe your fake book will become a real book some day? (As did the protagonist in Pinocchio’s Paper Mill Mystery–pulp fiction at its finest) Just for fun, to the entry I like best, I will send a free copy of my book, A Short Stay in Hell (You can choose Kindle or Print). The BCC perms are welcome to list books, but are ineligible for the gift).
Let the wild rumpus begin.