O that I were an angel!

OR IS IT ANGELUS??

OR IS IT ANGELUS??

Indeed.

I was thinking today about Alma’s little wish:

O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!
Alma 29:1

We all know that Alma self-smacked himself down soon after writing this, but let’s say, for argument’s sake, that he (or, you) got this wish. Then what?

I suppose we could make this into a deep thought experiment and ask ourselves whether the trump of God and a voice to shake the earth would have a real effect on the number of baptisms and on our retention rates. I think there are good arguments on both sides there, and surely one of the lessons of 1 Nephi is that those flashy divine special effects don’t really work. I guess I still find myself thinking that they would definitely have an impact.

Anyways, today’s topic is just a fun question: if you got Alma’s wish and more, and not only were an angel with trump and God-voice, but going even further — if you could convert one person to the Gospel, who would it be? Your miracle conversion is a bona-fide conversion, a lifetime active happy member. Who’s your pick for single miracle convert, and why? Explain your decision. God is reading these comments and will surely reward the best of them by granting the wish, Genie-like. [1]

David Boreanaz is taken.

[1] Remember the words of the Genie from Disney’s Aladdin: no wishing for more wishes! Your miracle convert won’t necessarily bring their family/friends/nation along with them. But then again, they might, if you wish on that star long enough.

Comments

  1. I choose Barack Obama, for two reasons:

    1. It would make the heads of many people I know explode.
    2. It would stop the media talking about whether or not this is a “Mormon moment” (note: it isn’t and it won’t be until we stop wondering if it is).

    If my angel voice fails to convert Obama, I choose Will Ferrell. Because I think he’s funny.

  2. MikeInWeHo says:

    Nancy Pelosi, because she already looks like a member of the RS General Presidency.

  3. The Dalai Lama, because… well, for obvious reasons, but I also would love to see what he would bring to ward potlucks.

  4. Any one of the folks over at fMh. Seriously, those people need some religion.

  5. Well, I would have said Usama bin Laden.

  6. WVS,

    Don’t you mean Usama bin Lando Calrissian? Though that may require a intergalactic call.

  7. My mom.

  8. Let’s be realistic, Tod.

  9. Reggie L. says:

    The really attractive guy I met at a play reading last month, so I can date him.

  10. MikeInWeHo, so i can marry him for that Pelosi quip.

    yeah, i get that he’s a gay dude and i am already a married mormon chick who mostly just lurks around here but i’m not gonna deny i gots me a crush on the fella.

  11. Actually, I got my wish last weekend.

    My mother was baptized 17 years after first being introduced to the church. My father was willing to be baptized then but she wasn’t so he didn’t. I was baptized after his death and found the church on my own. This year I’m celebrating 10 years since my re-birthday and I got the hope of my heart. Only about 360 days until I may be able to be sealed to my mother and father.

    If anyone is interested in what finally convinced her: it was folks like you here at BCC, and those “folks over at fMH.” Uncorrelated Mormons for that win.

  12. Scott B. says:

    Jenne,
    Thank you so much for sharing that! Fantastic!

  13. MikeInWeHo says:

    re: 10
    Awwww, shucks (blushing….).
    But who’s to say I’m not already converted to the gospel??? I’d probably come back tomorrow were it not for that whole “you have to promise to be single and celibate for the rest of your earthly life” situation.

  14. Mommie Dearest says:

    That’s easy. My dh.

  15. Josh B. says:

    A family member. But if not…
    Yoda. He would be an amazing church leader.

  16. I thought he already was, Josh!

    #11 ought to be engraved onto a plaque and mounted on the wall. Congratulations to Jenne and to all those uncorrelated Mos around here who make stuff like that happen. You people make a difference, if you didn’t know that already.

    For my choice, I think I’d pick Bono. Because he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.

  17. MikeInWeHo says:

    re: 15
    Yoda would be so cool at General Conference:
    “Your equal, your wife is. Superior nor inferior to the other, in marriage neither partner is.”

    “Being a guardian of virtue means, always be modest, you will.”

  18. Richard Dawkins

  19. John Fowles has had a dream (a vision?) that Prince Charles joins the church.

  20. Sangregorda says:

    Zuckerberg… so many possibilities (besides tithing)
    in Spain: Zapatero (same reason of #1)
    Or… wait, Cesar Millán would make an awsome bishop, wouldn’t he?

  21. britt k says:

    I was going to say usama as well. This isn’t a “be realistic” thing, this is miraculous conversion.

    I wonder what affect Hu Jintao would have in his country.

  22. Daniel says:

    the Caliphate, whenever he decides to show up.

  23. Christopher Hitchens

  24. My husband. For obvious reasons. Sigh.

  25. Yoda taught priesthood two weeks ago in my ward. That’s right: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

  26. Hunter says:

    Jimmy Carter.

  27. Jacob M says:

    Re-activate Eliza Dushku, so I can date then marry her.

    Kate Beckinsale, same reason.

    When he was alive, Cary Grant, for shear coolness.

    Before he was governor, Arnold, just so that he could say in General Conference, “I’ll be back”.

  28. Steve Evans says:

    Jenne sort of rules.

    Also, Renee, you’re on the path to heartbreak. Mikey don’t play that way.

    Zuck would be an interesting choice. Wonder why him.

  29. Sidebottom says:

    He’s dead already, but I’ve always wanted to do the temple work for Jack Webb.

  30. Jack Chick

  31. Jerry Springer. That would sure liven up Gospel Doctrine class.

  32. MikeInWeHo says:

    re: 30
    Oy! Can you imagine all those little Chick tracts reworked with a Mormon slant?? They wouldn’t be as good anymore because Mormons don’t consign people to a fiery hell as a good Chick tract always does:

    http://chick.com/reading/tracts/1056/1056_01.asp

  33. Trey Parker. Or Matt Stone. Either one, and you’d probably get the other. And before the Tony awards, please.

  34. @31: I can’t wait for Jerry Springer to talk about Noah and his daughters. Tamar’s situation would be great for the show… I mean… lesson, too.

  35. Mike,
    I like to think of the Telestial Kingdom as an endless Saturday Night Stake Conference session. There is no greater hell.

  36. My mom. It was a close tie between my mom and my oldest, but my oldest has got longer to figure it out in this life than my mom does. So mom wins.

  37. DowneyDouble says:

    Erm……me, cuz I’ve experienced a change of heart and felt to sing the song of redeeming love, but can’t feel so now.

  38. riccardoonofri says:

    Me too I would convert myself: I’m not LDS, but I really like mormons althought I can’t believe their doctrines!

  39. This question is really harder for me to answer than I expected it to be when I first read the post last night. A part of me wants to go insurance-mode and think along the lines of DowneyDouble (37) here: I’d like to magically guarantee my own faith and testimony through the eternities, and then use that to do good elsewhere. However, I think that may be a bit of cheating, so I will have to think a bit more still.

  40. Kristine N says:

    Glen Beck.

  41. Hunter says:

    John C. @35: Sorry to threadjack, but you speaketh blasphemy. The Saturday Evening session of Stake Conference is consistently the best meeting in the church.

  42. I’d pick Steve Evans.

  43. BrianJ,
    I think there is some kind of 3x limit on re-baptism, so you may be SOL.

  44. Neil deGrasse Tyson, because he is so cool and so smart would make an awesome speaker at GC after his election to GA (which would happen as a matter of course) and would make an wondrous tag-team speaker with Elder Uchtdorf. (And after such a radical conversion maybe he could be talked into fighting for bringing Pluto back into the fold.) Abrahamic astronomy would never be the same.

  45. another mormon married lurker chick says:

    I’m with Renee (10).

  46. Richard Feynman

  47. 46 Surely, you must be joking, Ms Tatiana.
    :)

  48. Sandra Bullock

    My wife would pick Bill Pullman.

    Shallow, I know, but . . .

    On a serious note, someone please mark Jenne’s #11 for Niblet nomination – for most inspirational, wonderful comment in a light-hearted thread. Thanks for sharing that.

  49. Cynthia L. says:

    46,47: Ha!!

  50. Redoubt says:

    This guy I’ve had a crush on for 10 years. I would totally date him, but then I’d be tempted to marry him, and I don’t want to have to chose between him and my religion, because I have enough problems with the Church and marrying a non-member would assuredly pull me away. I know, it’s pretty superficial, but I’d like to feel like I could have a chance at dating him without putting so much on the line.

  51. waterspout says:

    The Pope.

  52. Steve, I don’t know. Maybe myself.

    I think of people I know who have come to Christ, and these days my heart longs to know that they are still there.

  53. King of Saudi Arabia

  54. James Randi

    Because he’s a great man who deserves to know the truth.

  55. The Pope because 5/6ths of Christianity are coming into our church anyways eventually we might as well make it sooner than later. Seven Woman to one Man has nothing to do with relationships it has to do with the Gathering of Israel, and 7 churchs to one of our churchs will join us…

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