BYU Campus Education Week Courses

As a public service, we here at BCC provide below a listing of some of the more popular courses at BYU Campus Education Week, which is going on right now. If we have missed any, please include them in the comments:

Money for Nothing: How You Can Use Multi-Level Marketing and Affinity Fraud to Finance Your Senior Mission.

Pornography! A How-To Guide.

The Women of the Book of Mormon (Due to Subject Matter, This Class Will Only Be 10 Minutes Long, and Should Be Combined with a Trip to the CougarEat for a Mint Brownie).

How To Give a High Council Talk That Won’t Put People To Sleep.

Organize Your Closets (By Throwing Away All Those Relief Society Knick Knacks You Have Accumulated over the Years).

Home Gardening: How To Grow Weed for Fun and Profit.

The Mint Brownie Workout. (This Workout Has Units Geared To Burn off the Calories in a Mint Brownie.)

Finding the Healthy Balance between Working and Watching Sports in Your Mancave.

A Pharmaceutical Approach to the Word of Wisdom.

Know Them That Labor among You: The Lives and Teachings of the Present-Day Sunday School Presidency Secretaries.

How To Discipline Your Children. (Please Bring Your Own Leather Strap.)

D&C 2 Will Change Your Life!

Rescuing the Wayward Souls Who Watch HBO’s “Game of Thrones.”

Discovering Your Life’s Purpose (and Not Committing Suicide When You Make the Discovery).

Scrying: How To Impress Your Friends and Neighbors (and Find Your Lost Car Keys).

How To Retire in Today’s Economy (Includes a Field Trip to the Dumpster behind Costco).

Julianne Hough: Is She Still Mormon? An Inquiry.

“Who Can Find a Virtuous Woman?” (A Campus Scavenger Hunt.)

[Please add your own course titles in the comments below.]

Comments

  1. Oh this was hilarious!!! how bout: Vintage Couture crafts; a return to the gigantic puffy photo album

  2. Upcyling: Homemaking Crafts Without Spending a Penny

  3. Who MIssed The Ark? A visit to BYU’s Museum of Paleontology

    Seriously, though, you should visit the museum. It’s a hidden gem. And walking distance from Dairy Queen. (directions here: http://cpms.byu.edu/ESM/information.html)

  4. These are fake! I can tell because there are no numbered lists in them. There are five ways to spot a numbered list. It: 1. has numbers. 2. has incomplete sentences. 3. gives the appearance of authoritative thoroughness born of professional or academic discipline 4. ends up, when you think about it, being something you could have written over breakfast and 5. sets you up anyway to want to get the sequel numbered list (5 MORE ways you can tell….).

    What are some of your favorite enumerated topics at Ed Week?

  5. Ward Dinners & Parties: Steps to Success — 1) Insuring that ever vegetable or fruit is mixed with sour cream or jello, 2) Avoiding anything that would reduce the calories or cholesterol and 3) Ideas for 20 dishes in different shades of brown.

  6. My favorites are Elouise Bell’s from the Meeting:
    Sister Lorraine Larson, “Eschatology and Ether in the Perspective of the Book of Revelation”;
    Sister Ellen Hemming, “The Gnostic Scrolls and Our Concept of Spirit Translation”;
    Brother LeRuth Davis, “Twenty Tips for Keeping a Tidy Garage”;
    Brother Terry Joe Jones, “Being a More Masculine You.”

    I’d pay such good money to hear a man talk for an hour about how to be a more masculine you.

  7. These are awesome, Kevin.

  8. rameumptom says:

    Dan Peterson and Bill Hamblin speak on: How Nephi’s being kicked out of the Land of Nephi by Laman and Lemuel is similar to the events at Maxwell Institutu.

  9. Excel at Formulas: new ways to improve your home teaching numbers with some creative accounting

    No More Idle Hands: Forming sub-committees for menial tasks gets EVERYONE involved! (Sign up list is being passed around.)

    Steadying the Arc : A rainbow of ideas for putting more culture into your cultural hall. Bring lots of markers!

  10. Rescuing the Wayward Souls Who Watch HBO’s “Game of Thrones” This assumes we need rescuing…

  11. “Breaking Bad: A Case Study in the Spiritual Perils of Scientific Literacy”

  12. Praise Him With Song: Inviting the Spirit Into Meetings by Singing Veeerrrrryyyy Sssslllllooooooowwwwlllllyyyy

  13. You need more history classes:

    Why George Washington Would Have Been Baptized

    How Ezra Taft Benson Foretold Our Current Recession

    Fantastic LDS Women in History, As Told By Their Husbands

    (and everyone’s perennial favorite:)

    Joseph Smith Was, Like, Totally a Spectacular Dude

  14. Sharee Hughes says:

    I clicked on this thinking it was a serious post. But I really needed a good laugh. Thank you, Kevin.

    This is a little off topic, but I don’t know where else to say it. There are a couple of people who post here that I admire very much, even though I have never met them. Kevin, you are one of them. I just read your “The Facsimiles and Semitic Adaptation of Existing Sources” and enjoyed it very much. Although I have never had a problem with the Book of Abraham, I know that a lot of people do. If they were to read this paper, they just might change their minds. Blair Hodges is another one whose poss I very much enjoy.

  15. Sharee Hughes says:

    That should be “posts”–sometimes if I type fast, letters get left out.

  16. My favorite REAL class from the actual listings-
    “A History and an Introduction to Muzzle-Loading Artillery- This class includes a live demonstration and is designed to acquaint the participant with the types of muzzle-loading artillery, how to load and fire them safely, and how to make the ammunition (blanks only).”

    Wrote it up a few years ago.

    http://www.millennialstar.org/a-history-and-an-introduction-to-muzzle-loading-artillery-education-week-at-byu/

  17. In the spam queue again…

  18. Kevin, are your examples supposed to be funny? They’re ghastly, the kind of angry humorless barbs that are better followed by a public apology than by emulation. Did child abuse suddenly get funny and I missed it?

  19. Go on, Jeff B. This is just getting good. More, more . . .

  20. All I Needed to Learn about Politics I Learned in Primary: It is Called “Choose the RIGHT for a Reason”

    Missionary Work, Homosexuality, and Drug Legalization: Why Being High, on a Mountain Top, Will Attract the Gays in Latter Days

    Families are Forever: A Promise or a Warning?

    Also, if you enjoy satirical pokes at Mormon cultures, I highly recommend Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer. Here is a sample post that mirrors this post: http://motabenquirer.blogspot.com/2012/03/upcoming-home-and-family-enrichment.html

  21. Jeff B’s comment, which I take as serious, reminds me of what Francis Hutcheson said about ridicule (which is a much stronger word now than in Hutcheson’s day): “ridicule, like other edged tools, may do good in a wise man’s hands, though fools may cut their fingers with it, or [it] be injurious to an unwary bystander.”

  22. Kevin Barney says:

    Jeff B., I was shooting for an “Onion” vibe. Apparently that sort of thing is not to your taste, which is fine.

  23. Great stuff–very funny.

  24. Praying for Moisture: One of the Evidences Of The True Church.

    Migration Patterns of BYU Alumni Car Decals

  25. Kevin, these were great but you forgot some of my favorites:

    Funeral Potato Recipes that will Make Everyone Forget the Deceased!

    Why the Fonts of the Ensign and New Era Matter: The Restoration and Inspired Typesetting.

    Making a Quiet Book for Adults: Why do Children have All the Fun?

    Teaching Chiasms in Primary: Seven Flannel Board Lessons for Future Apologists.

    Getting the Calling You Want by Embedding Subliminal Messages During your Tithing Settlement—Lessons from the Movie Inception.

  26. Mark Brown says:

    All is well in Zion: Why we must never, ever, ever, under any circumstances suggest that there might be a chance there is anything wrong with the church.

  27. Faithful Fashion: Coordinating Scripture Totes to President Uchtdorf’s Ties

    Book Review: An Exhaustive Concordance to the Past Thirty Years of Women’s General Conference Prayers (Class ends one minute after the hour)

  28. I laughed myself silly!!! I quit going to Ed. Week years ago – too out of touch with my reality. A few suggestions —

    “We are a Happy Family – Dammit!”
    How to Keep Your Temple Recommend – Even Tho You Are a Questioning Mormon”
    “Journal Writing – the Good, Bad, Ugly and the Truth”
    “Teaching Youth to Be Themselves – Listening to Their Inner Voices”
    “Book Clubs for Mormon Men”

    Keep up the good work…

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