(Squeamish readers beware.) A fellow bloggernacler called my attention to this blog post about a hypothetical knife fight between all of the US Presidents: “In a mass knife fight to the death between every American President, who would win and why?”
I’d like to put a Mormon twist on this and propose a mass knife fight to the death between everybody in the BCC community’s most fearsome ancestors.
I refer you to the basic ground rules in the US Presidents deathmatch, which will apply to our contest:
To begin, here were the original conditions of the hypothetical, as suggested by the redditor Xineph:
(1) Every [ancestor contestant] is in the best physical and mental condition they were ever in throughout the course of their [life]. Fatal maladies have been cured, but any lifelong conditions or chronic illnesses (e.g. FDR’s polio) remain.
(2) The [contestants] are fighting in an ovular arena 287 feet long and 180 feet wide (the dimensions of the  Roman Colosseum). The floor is concrete. Assume that weather is not a factor.
(3) Each [contestant] has been given one standard-issue  Gerber LHR Combat Knife , the knife  presented to each graduate of the United States Army Special Forces Qualification Course. Assume the presidents have no training outside any combat experiences they may have had in their own lives.
(4) There is no penalty for avoiding combat for an extended period of time. Hiding and/or playing dead could be valid strategies, but there can be only one winner. The melee will go on as long as it needs to.
(6) Each president will be deposited in the arena regardless of their own will to fight, however, personal ethics, leadership ability, tactical expertise etc., should all be taken into account. Alliances are allowed.
- To enter, you must comment below. Your comment must include a photograph of the ancestor you wish to nominate, their name, and their birth year if known.
- Additional relevant facts may be provided (war experience, wrestling a grizzly bear to a draw, etc).
- You may submit up to 1 male and 1 female ancestor.
Abraham Brown, b. 1808. Baptized Spring 1831. Pioneer. Just look at the face. It speaks for itself.
Josephine Clark, b. 1855. Farmed in southern Utah. Again, the face says it all. She could be an Olympic weightlifter from the old days in East Germany.