It can be hard to get published. Disbelieve any ad that says, “We’re looking for people to write children’s books.” Translation: “We’re looking for people who will pay us about a thousand dollars to take our writing course. Take this little test—which is ironically badly written, but which you can’t fail—and we’ll also give your name to our desperate agents, who will likewise charge a thousand dollars to read your work.”
It can be even harder to sell your published book.
My husband published a book. It’s a brilliant book about family life in the age of Shakespeare . It talks about parental blessings—given by both mother and father during the Renaissance. It talks about the age of marriage when Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet. (Go ahead and guess. I’ll answer later.) It talks about the “rule of thumb” and what it WASN’T. If you think it was the width of the stick a man could beat his wife with, you’ve been reading too much Lawrence Stone.
How on earth can we get people to fork over that kind of money?
Well, another author has another book which sells for the same price. It’s called Insights into Hebrew Philosophy. He decided to publicize it via animation, telling the story of Cain and Abel. Brandon James Price, one of the stars in the film I’m currently making, and who served a mission to the DR-Congo, sent me the animation yesterday and asked for my comments.
Here you go, Brandon .
If the rest of you would like to follow along, go to http://youtu.be/8ojhZPiGsRs .
First off, note how many women there are. Oh, you didn’t see any? Yes, it’s a man’s world, and Adam reproduced asexually. Anyway, he might have. That “he might have” becomes thematic, by the way.
Cain might have offended God by not being innovative. After all, Cain tilled the ground just like Adam. Nothing “out of the box.” Apparently, when you don’t have women telling you to practice the piano, the piano won’t even get invented and you’ll spend your time with thistles and thorns, and Mozart will invent a new recipe for zucchini casserole instead of The Magic Flute (what’s a flute?), and Beethoven will pull weeds when he’s sad instead of composing the Pathetique. So Cain’s offering to God—grain– is boring.
Abel, though, comes up with something brilliant. Why sacrifice grain when you could kill a sheep and offer that?
And that, dear reader, is why God honored Abel’s sacrifice rather than Cain’s. Abel was creative. And a little bloody. But nothing compared to what’s coming when Cain gets some revenge.
But, we must wonder, what about that coat of skins God made for Adam? (The Bible says He made them for Adam and Eve, but of course Eve doesn’t exist in this version.) Where did those skins come from? Cantaloupe? Sure, after some scooping, cantaloupe make great bras, but in a world without women, why bother? It would seem that “coats of skins” came from animals. Maybe even wooly ones. They MIGHT HAVE.
In this animated version, God rejects Cain’s boring offering by setting it on fire. Some of the ash gets on Cain’s face and he looks—well, BLACK. This is the part where we press pause on the youtube and say, “Oh no you di’n’t. I know you did not just go there. Do you realize what you MIGHT BE implying?”
Finally, the youtube lets us know that all the greatest people in the world have been shepherds. These shepherds include Beethoven, Queen Elizabeth (with or without her armor? Or does the armor explain her perception of gender, given that there was no Mother Eve?), Marx (?????), Einstein (“Hey Mom! Mushrooms! Are you sure they’re poison?)
So, publicity. How to sell a book. Or a film. And that, Brandon J. Price, is how we get the word out. After we get rid of the women. And of course, this post fits in rather nicely with other conversations in the bloggernacle about how present women are or are not in various settings and books. Check out my husband’s book for more information on that. We’ll be making an interactive cartoon to advertise it shortly. It’s just a quiz, but it shoots out slightly painful lazar beams if you give a wrong answer.
As for advertising the film Heart of Africa–well, I have my ideas. I pattern them after what my sister-in-law does. Prizes on the film’s blog, if you can find it.