A Map of the Bloggernacle

Casey returns with tales from his travels through the wasteland of the interwebz.

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Castle of Common Consent: Considered by some to be the capital of the Bloggernacle, although this is bitterly disputed. At various times battles have been fought against what some have perceived to be the injustices and haughtiness of the Dukes of Common Consent.

Castle of Time and Season: Perhaps the oldest known fortress in the land, it still exists today as a proud standard bearer for the Bloggernacle as it once was. Despite claims that its Barons are out of touch with the common peasant, it remains a key citadel.

The Wasteland: Separating Common Consent from Time and Season is a scorched desert which few dare cross. There are tales that the Wasteland was created by bitter Lords of the two castles burning the once-fertile countryside, each seeking to cut the other off in a bid for Bloggernacle supremacy.

Housewives of the Mormon Feminists: A domain ruled by female warriors, it has recently staked its own claim as the greatest castle land, leading to violent and hilarious skirmishes with the Castle of Common Consent.

Keep of the Millennial Star: Capital of the land of Libertaria, a province separated from the Bloggernacle mainland by the lofty Ideological Mountains. Rumored to be hostile to visitors from the west, it is nevertheless connected by a narrow pass between the mountains and the Unwavering Wall.

The Unwavering Wall: Built in a past age, the wall separates the mainland Bloggernacle from schismatics who began an eastward exodus long ago, claiming to possess greater purity and knowledge. Some claim to have ventured beyond the wall and returned to tell their tales.

Forest of the Scholars: A dense woodland filled with villages of scholars and mages, from which much of the arcane knowledge of Mormonism is produced. Some call the forest a land of priestcraft and sorcery and refuse to enter it. The forest itself is divided by The Apologetic Rift, a deep ravine said to have been caused by a vicious battle over magick and methodology.

Outer Blogness: For those who abandon the hope and comfort of the Bloggernacle, this is a cursed, forsaken land from which few return. Some brave adventurers seek out the apostates in an attempt to reason with or reclaim them, but stories of success are apocryphal at best.

The New Order: The coast separating the Bloggernacle from Outer Blogness is inhabited by a loosely-organized commune known as the New Order. Their practices are idiosyncratic and, some argue, heretical. They are led by a mysterious cabal known as “The Podcasters.” Some believe that the New Order secretly ferries wayward peasants into Outer Blogness and in return allow spies into the Bloggernacle, though they vehemently deny it and claim their intentions are entirely peaceful.

The Bloggernacle countryside: The land is dotted with smaller villages that contribute to the economy in their own ways. Some are allied with the larger castles, others are more independent. The mountains are known to be a refuge of various hermits and sages, including one rumored to teach travelers about an age when death did not exist, and others who claim to be outcasts from the Forest of Scholars. There is a merry band of bards who travel the wasteland known as the Textperts, who seek to bring joy and wisdom to all. Other wanderers seek to provide various forms of spiritual guidance to Bloggernacle denizens.

Comments

  1. This is so brilliant. Bravo.

    There is one other Land-of-the-Valar-esque domain, a far-away, mythical place inhabited by gods and angels, the ur-creators of Middle Bloggernacle. Some call it Dialogia. Occasional visitors roam the land like wizards of old. The Mauss. The Bushman.

  2. Fie! Tis a map produced by a pretender, one claiming the title of traveler but who ventures not forth to know and name any but the peaks visible from afar. Hie thee to the hinterlands and live with the Folk and learn of us and detail thine too-simple map.

  3. Ardis FTW.

  4. :) I think this is a wonderfully clever idea. It does highlight, though, the fragmented state of the current Bloggernacle where there is very little crossover between blog readership, or any real awareness of the richness that is out there. This was highlighted in the recent “Wheaties” where nominations came so nearly exclusively from the readership of the sponsoring blog that I couldn’t vote for anybody — I had never heard of at least 80% of the nominees, and most of the blogs I read were conspicuous by their absence from nomination.

    I miss the olden days of two or three years ago when there was more camaraderie among blogs and bloggers.

  5. Seth R. says:

    A few years ago, I donned me trusty bludgeon and left the mainland by boat to arrive on yon dark southwestern shores….

    I didn’t bring back any reformed hobgoblins, or congenial trolls for my efforts.

    But I do have a cool pegleg and eyepatch now that I will gladly show to local villagers trying to get actual work done.

  6. Second Ardis FTW.

  7. @4: My map is unabashedly Mormon Archipelago-centric, simply because it’s the handiest and broadest aggregator I’m aware of (and also because I originally set out to make something more complicated but that proved too hard so I gave up). But you’re right about the problems of blog fragmentation and a lack of awareness of what’s out there. Personally I wouldn’t mind a more democratic or community-driven aggregator to compete with/complement MA, or some kind of more robust liberal/big tent hub for discussion and dissemination of links and blogs–for example the NOM communities have several discussion boards, Ex-Mormons have Reddit, and undesirables have LDS Freedom Forum, but for guys like me, and I think a lot of the kinds of people who read BCC, there’s…what? Facebook? That literally depends on who you know so it’s not so great for community building and getting new blogs and things out there. Anyway, fair criticism; I accept :)

  8. He! I’m unabashedly MA-centric, too, Casey; that aggregator *is* what defines the Bloggernacle. My criticism was really disappointment about a truly clever idea that omitted my own MA-listed blog (which I suspect you’ve ever heard of, since your comment implies that I’m speaking for a bigger tent instead of a more detailed representation of the Bloggernacle). I’d wager there are other specialty MA-bloggers who contribute substantially to the Bloggernacle who would love to see you expand your idea to place a few more of us on your map … although I realize that would result in the next tier of blogs feeling slighted … and the next …

  9. BTW for optimal viewing play this in the background while looking at the map:

  10. A little more detail, please. You only hint at it, but call it by its real name, The Knight Who Says NDBF, hiding under a shrubbery.

  11. This is so great.

  12. Dangit, my last comment went into moderation for trying to embed a Youtube video…suffice to say, NES music improves the viewing experience. Anyway, I see what you mean and it appears we’re talking about separate things. I’d still like a decent MA alternative or two, but for this particular map the problem you describe of including more blogs without slighting others is a formidable logistical challenge I chose not deal with. However, for anyone willing to take a crack at something more detailed I’d be happy to provide my template!

  13. hilarious, # 8!

    Ardis, he probably meant for Keepa to be located in the Forest of the Scholars.

    But if this is based off of the MA, it’s a mixed metaphor. The MA describes an Archipelago. This Catan-esque world should look more like Indonesia than Australia.

  14. I think I’m on that ship in the lower left hand corner. Great fun this.

  15. Fantastic!

  16. Mark B. says:

    You left out the navel. It must have hidden itself to avoid all the gazing.

  17. natkelly says:

    I think there is a slight mischaracterizarion of the housewives here. They are not a castle (pish posh to such mundane things) but a spectacular city of the gods, high up in the lofty cloud structures overlooking all the land. As often happens with female dieties, they are sometimes overlooked and rejected by the more obtuse and chauvinist of their subjects. But they don’t care. They gods. Those who know the truth, worship. Those who have forgotten the true way seek earnestly to build up false Zions and bicker over who has the biggest pe– ahem. Castle.

  18. That description sounds like being up on a really tall pedestal.

  19. #8 — Yes, as long as it’s one of those shrubberies from the temple movie strategically placed to hide one’s nakedness.

  20. I’m so confused. Where does the iron rod run?

  21. Well, Ziff, if we trust Nephi’s account, it has to run through the wasteland, past the various great and spacious buildings, and must therefore lead to the forest of scholars, since those are the only trees I see on the map. The real question is, on which side of the apologetic rift are we going to find the tree of life?

  22. Since I wander all over and spout off phrases that are largely ignored, I think I’m the senile old beggar woman who just might be a fairy in disguise, but is probably just a senile beggar woman. *l*

    I think Keepa is right next to the Forest of Scholars, but on the northern coast. You know, in case it needs to make a run for it at some point.

  23. Until BLOGGERNACLE actually becomes TradeMarked, the term’s gonna simply mean whatever often contradictory things any of its users SAY it means:
    Blogs linked to by M.A.
    Linked-to blogs by EmJen over at the online version of the DesNews
    Indie bloggers ( such as for example AskMormonGirl) who self-identify using the term (prof Brooks calls her page the Alice’s Restaurant of the Mormon Bloggernacle but’s not M.A. listed)
    Weblogs that are Nothing Wavering listed but not M.A. listed
    &c., &c.

  24. O’course, EmJen is a researcher cum reviewer/critic cum scholar, Brooks is a scholar and MainStream media commentator, and Nothing Wavering was specified on the OP’s map. So the post’s All Good! lol

  25. it's a series of tubes says:

    <– Chuckles at #16.

  26. Haha. Sorry, Nat. Jacob got you there. FMH should be more of a giant roving band of fierce and hard-working women who keep the kingdom of ‘Nacle in balance.

    I think Ardis is correct on this being a map of a false traveler. I have wandered a bit through the bloggernacle and have discovered many gems in places like Segullah, Zelophahad’s Daughters, Exponant II, DandelionMama, CJane, — these places have a lot of readership …and really I’m amazed that you left Ardis’s giant library off the map. I mean, really?

  27. Oh! and a Murdoch journo (editor?) titled a post about Mo mommy bloggers (incl. Kendrick) “the Bloggernacle” – HERE: http://www.thedaily.com/page/2012/03/01/030112-arts-style-mom-1-4/

  28. EAJ, except that we were here first and we used the term first. So nyah.

  29. Does Reddit not figure on to this at all?

    I think we may need an invation

  30. Reddit is its own sphere of existence.

  31. Rachel Whipple says:

    I come from peasant stock. That’s why I’m only a scullery maid at the T&S keep, not a baroness.

  32. Rachel, if you want to be praised as princess of blogdom, there are other keeps out there.

  33. Indeed, there are kingdoms many and baronesses many. Rachel you deserve to be a Baroness in the true GI Joe style.

  34. Rachel Whipple says:

    I don’t need to be a princess, although if we’re talking 80s cartoons, She-Ra would be cool. But I’m more of a Gabrielle than a Zena. But I’ve spent enough time as a quiet nomad of the Realm of the Bloggernacle that it’s nice to have a roof over my head for a while.

  35. #20 Ziff, I am pretty sure the bloggernacle is all Liahona territory. The iron rod only exists in dreams.

  36. Rah, lolz. Nicely played.

  37. #20 / #21 – notice that the bloggernacle is an insulated island, probably volcanic, disconnected from the land mass of things as they really are, subject to the violent winds of the doctrines of men. But on a more hopeful note, is that the good ship Zion, guided by the liahona, in the bottom right hand corner? All aboard! Destination: promised land.

  38. That’s great and all, Aslan, but the Bloggernacle has cookies.

  39. Hmm I misspoke me place me hearties. Lower right hand corner.

  40. the bloggernacle is an insulated island, probably volcanic, disconnected from the land mass of things as they really are…”

    Like Narnia?

  41. Really, Mark B. It’s called an “omphalos.”

  42. Now, is there a Krakatoa lurking somewhere?

  43. Dave K. says:

    Let ‘em fight over the wastelands and forests. The real path to victory comes by claiming the sheep port!

  44. Sheep port, my eye. Everyone knows the ore port is far more valuable – for melting swords, stones that will light up your ship, etc.

  45. ^smelting swords. Dang talk-to-text software.

  46. Seth R. says:

    I wonder who has the Longest Road, or the Largest Army?

  47. Seth, can we use euphemisms like that at BCC?

  48. Whoa… I just played that NES for a music, then turned it off. A half-minute later, I heard someone playing similar NES music from the apartment downstairs. Apparently I inspired someone to break out their old game system.

  49. And by “NES for a music,” I mean “NES music for a minute”.

  50. Kent Larsen says:

    I agree with Ardis. Its too simplistic.

    And the silly faux-mideival language merits an eye-roll and guarantees that no one can take it seriously

  51. Looking at this left me thinking… The Settlers of the Bloggernacle?

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