In the Aftermath of the Great BCC/FMH Wars, Times and Seasons Revealed to Be Prussia

Keepapitchinin is Australia.

Mormon Newswire:

In the wake of the Bloggernacle-shaking series of wars between the BCC and FMH Empires last February, it has been revealed that Times and Seasons suffered devastating collateral losses.

Several sources have now confirmed that the former behemoth of Mormon blogging dominance has, in fact, been revealed to be Prussia all along.

“It wasn’t a complete surprise,” observed Ray, longtime Bloggernacle participant and observer. “There had been a gradual decline over the last few years. Lots of posts about finance and the economy, several seemingly brilliant but utterly incomprehensible posts by new blogger Adam Miller, and Mormon of the Year was mostly an exercise in predictability. All it was going to take was an armed conflict among other neighboring empires and whammo–Treaty of Versailles.”

Apart from Miller, other recently acquired bloggers like Sam Brunson and Rachel Whipple have written intelligent, thoughtful posts, but in the absence of regional powerhouses like Rosalynde Welch and Kaimi Wenger (both of whom are apparently on indefinite sabbatical) T&S has struggled to maintain relevance.

“Julie, Kent, Dave, Alison, Ben, James, Jonathan are pretty solid,” said Ray. “They’re some of the more consistent and smart bloggers out there, particularly considering how long they’ve been in the former duchy. But where are Dane, Marc, Wilifried, Craig, other Ben, Frank, Rory, and Chancellor Oman? Either rare formal appearances or completely MIA. It was an unsustainable model for an empire.”

Despite repeated requests for an interview, Mormon Newswire was repeatedly told that Chancellor Oman was unavailable for comment. (There is also evidence to suggest that the Chancellor was, in fact, delighted at repeatedly rebuffing these requests, and became a little despondent when we stopped asking). Some analysts have speculated that Chancellor Oman’s absence created the perfect opportunity for seizure of the Bloggernacle Empire, but Chancellor For Life Steve Evans scoffed at these suggestions.

“The fact is, BCC has stood atop the Mormon blogging world since at least 2008,” opined Chancellor Evans from an undisclosed location. “As we see from the recent wars, FMH also has a formidable empire, but T&S was never really a contender in 2013. I mean, look at it. It’s Prussia, for heaven’s sake.”

Few know for certain what the future holds, though there are rumors of wars throughout the Bloggernacle. As of press time, in fact, sources confirm that New Cool Thang was poking Doves and Serpents with a stick, which is sure to provoke an intense though harmless playground brawl.

**Editor’s note: Junior Ganymede blogger Adam Greenwood repeatedly made insistent pleas to be interviewed for this piece but the editors deemed his comments to be irrelevant.

Comments

  1. Notice: Keepapitchinin (aka The New World) cordially invites the war weary to take refuge on our shores, where you will find peace, camaraderie, and plenty of good reading.

  2. Larry the Cable Guy says:

    “We gotta sink the BismarCC, was the battle sound
    but when the smoke had cleared away, T&S went down.”

  3. Ironic, coming from Steve Evans, HP/JDC, RT, Scott B. and the like.

  4. It’s like rain on your wedding day!!

  5. Ardis’ New World is not all its cracked up to be. First the New World encourages undocumented migrators and then invites them to self deport if they disagree with status quo. Better to leave this earth behind and seek refuge in the Stars.

  6. In the end, T&S had to retreat from Prussia to Ukraine. But you know what the Ukraine is? It’s a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It’s feeble. I think it’s time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.

  7. I come from Ukraine; you not say Ukraine weak!

  8. Yeah, well we’re playing a game here pal.

  9. fMh honors an olive branch of peace…

    http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2013/04/armistice/

  10. alliegator321 says:

    offers, not honors… sheesh.

  11. So, did anyone think through debuting a new look on April 1? Or am I not giving you enough credit? (Or did the look debut sometime in the past few days and I missed it because I more commonly visit BCC on the mobile site?)

  12. It debuted on March 31, Orwell.

  13. Got it — so the answer is B and C.

  14. “The fact is, BCC has stood atop the Mormon blogging world since at least 2008,” […]

    So, it’s an “outie”?

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