While President Monson may have found President Uchtdorf’s trouncing of the once-proud Elder Holland satisfying, all is clearly not well in Zion: In an outcome that makes reason stare, Enoch–a prophet LITRALLY named after a podunk town in Utah–beat John the Beloved. Do any of you people even read Revelations? Good grief.
In other news, Jon McNaughton shocked absolutely no one by defeating the Priests of Baal, and Joseph Smith Jr. dismissed Emma like a pants-wearing protester at General Conference.
So on the Final Four, then.