Say it with a Saturday’s Warrior GIF: Part 1


I had the idea to give Saturday’s Warrior the GIF treatment shortly after my BCC debut. Because of the length of the film, it didn’t make sense to summarize the entire plot by way of animations like I did with Johnny Lingo, but I thought surely that corny musical from my childhood could produce at least a handful of worthy “reaction GIFs” instead. AND I WAS RIGHT. So right that I had a hard time paring them down to even two posts.

I can’t hide my residual affection for Saturday’s Warrior, so I won’t even try. I have watched this movie more than any other in my entire life (approximately three times a week from age 4 to 6, and if you think I’m exaggerating ask my poor family). I was obsessed; I pretended Pam was my wise older sister, that I had a younger one in heaven waiting to come to earth, and I had a monumental crush on Elder Kessler. I memorized the lyrics and choreography of the songs I liked and made a ritual of skipping past the ones I didn’t (“Sailing On” and “Didn’t We Love Him?” = FAST FORWARD!) I can still conjure up the exact feeling I got when I first noticed the picture of the Salt Lake City temple in the Flinders’ living room: No one in the movie actually says “Mormon” or “LDS” so I think I didn’t even realize they were a Mormon family until my 20-somethingish viewing. I begged my mom to let me introduce my best friend, Kristen Jordan, a non-member, to its glory. After about a week of my relentless hounding, she finally asked Kristen’s parents how they would feel about it and their answer was an emphatic prohibition. I cried and cried. Suffice it to say, this movie imprinted on me, and I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t admit that I grinned like a maniac rewatching it for the first time in at least 15 years. Grinned and grimaced, but there was decidedly more grinning than grimacing.

One quick aside before we dive into the GIFs: You can’t write about Saturday’s Warrior without mentioning the false doctrine that imbues its 115 minute runtime. The two most egregious examples I noted:

Screen shot 2014-07-15 at 7.11.39 PM

1) The movie makes it seem as though bare shoulders are allowed in heaven, and
2) All the characters’ names are the same in pre-mortal life as they are on earth. Aside from what this says about agency, I simply refuse to believe that there are spirits in the pre-existence named Payzlee and Traigyn.

On with the show? Yippee!

SW-gif-family-run

 

Suggested application: This GIF could come in handy when trying to talk an internet commenter down from making a fool of themselves.

 

When you casually name drop Heavenly Mother in Gospel Doctrine class

 

Keywords: Yearning, longing, desperation

Keywords: Yearning, longing, desperation, intense food craving

 

SW-yes-i-mean-no

 

Lighten up any online abortion debate by sharing one of the following two GIFs in the comments section!

SW-gif-abortion

SW-gif-zero-population

 

This is how I felt my first week in my new ward when all the Relief Society ladies were openly mocking feminists.

 

SW-gif-dont-forget-your-promise

^ For those uninitiated, Emily is reminding Jimmy about that one time he promised to make his parents conceive her. Not sure exactly how he managed it, but (spoiler alert) he did! One more on this topic for good measure:

SW-gif-keep-your-promise

 

Suggested application: Use this GIF to underhandedly accuse someone of being involved in secret combinations.

Suggested application: Use this GIF to underhandedly accuse someone of being involved in secret combinations!

 

SW-gif-animal-magnetism

 

More GIFs to come; my computer is too slow to deal with them all in one post. Until then…

SW-gif-disappear

Comments

  1. BCC has at last filled the measure of its creation.

  2. LET THE FLOOD COMMENCE.

  3. “I have watched [Saturday's Warrior] more than any other in my entire life.”

    Well, at least you’re being authentic.

  4. You’re doing God’s work, Jessie.

  5. it's a series of tubes says:

    Only BCC? Steve, I believe you mean that the entire internet has at least filled the measure of its creation. Now all can have joy therein.

  6. Since I know that you were planning this post before Bednar’s talk, the timing has to have been foreordained. #floodtheearth

  7. Jared vdH says:

    This is great. I really liked the Living Scriptures videos when I was a kid, and I remember taking the Pilgrims & Squanto video to school to show my teacher when I was in like first or second grade around Thanksgiving. I don’t remember the teacher’s reaction unfortunately. I would probably find it mortifying/hilarious now.

  8. A family from church showed this to me either just before or shortly after my baptism. I’m not sure why they thought that would be a good idea (cultural assimilation?). Too good to not share? Too awful to not share? Either way, I’m still here.

  9. I’ve never seen this film. Clearly my parents were remiss in my LDS upbringing. I’ll have to try to find a copy.

  10. Okay, that is literally my exact childhood experience with Saturday’s Warrior, including the same songs being fast forwarded through. I have no idea how many times I watched this movie but it probably numbers in the 30-40 range. I had a sickness…

  11. I didn’t see this until I was a Junior in HS. Saw it about the same time as Johnny Lingo. Clearly my parents were remiss in teaching me the gospel…

  12. Kevin Barney says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen the movie. I saw the (local) stage production in Denver a couple of times in the late 70s (as a missionary).

  13. Kevin Barney says:

    Out of curiousity, Jessie, what did your youthful self make of My Turn on Earth?

  14. Kevin, I never had the pleasure – probably a calculated move by my mom.

  15. I had never seen the movie version. I grew up in California and repeatedly watched the original California cast (the Engeman family – i.e. Larry Kings wife) perform it endlessly. For years following, I listened to the record – thrilled with the catchy songs, cool voices, heart wrenching words, “Who are these children coming down? Like gentle rain through darkened skies…” Jessie, thanks for the memories. For the record – I also watched My Turn on Earth – loved it., Threads of Glory, Debbie-Diary of a Mormon Girl. Let’s face it – I was a Lex de Azevedo junkie.

  16. Looooooooooooooooooove. I have this movie memorized, too. The Pam dance move GIF is the best. Thank you for bringing these to the internet at last!

  17. You remembered your promise, Jessie!

  18. Aaaargh, the pastels are hurting my eyes…

  19. There must be a “Hey Flinders, Ho Flinders, Come on, we’ve got to go, Flinders!” in there somewhere, right?

  20. wreddyornot says:

    Thanks for this posting. I’ve never seen the movie, just the staged production.

    In 1974 my wife and I and our toddler moved from Utah to Illinois. We lived there for two years (in Rockford) and, among other things, helped “fellowship” a young couple (not quite as young as we were) who joined the church. A year later, the six of us (they had a toddler too), squished into a Plymouth Duster and drove straight through to Utah, a 24-hour trip. We had two goals in mind, go to the temple so they could be sealed and go backpacking in the Uinta’s. Somewhere in the midst of all the rigor, we experienced an impressive stage production of Saturday’s Warrior.

  21. wreddyornot says:

    Uintas.

  22. Also only have ever seen a stage production. (Which sucked.) We had the original case album, but I can’t say I loved it, or at all remember it. My Turn on Earth is, I think, a much superior musical creation, as far as rating these things goes.

  23. Given how much false doctrine there is in this play, I’ve been wondering when there will be disciplinary action for it. And then it was just reprised in the Provo of the South: Gilbert, AZ.

  24. This was THE best movie of my childhood!! Like you, I watched it incessantly, it’s how we kept the Sabbath day holy, as well :).

    One of my top 3 moments of motherhood was introducing my daughter to the glory that is SW last year. She was obsessed. Mortal Mission #189 complete, check!

  25. Gort Maringa says:

    I laughed even harder at the comments than the actual gifs. God bless the Bloggernacle. All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth.

  26. Gort Maringa says:

    As a side note, I was curious to what happened to these actors. A cursory imdb search informed me that the kid who played Ernie subsequently starred as Larry the Male Bimbo in the blockbuster “Prehistoric Bimbos in Armageddon City.”

    I’ll bet that flick is just as doctrinally sound, based on the title.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1467141/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t12

  27. Lynette Mills says:

    Attended a class at education week that was taught by the original elder Kessler from the original play! His son reprised the role 25 years later! Great stuff!

  28. @Gort: Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. And some have greatness thrust upon them. Some are Ernie.

  29. Attention Mormon Entrepreneurs: there is a great opportunity here. Mormons are crying out for their own Rocky Horror and this will fill that need.

  30. For behold, this is BCC’s work and its glory, to bring to pass Saturday’s Warrior memeification of the internet.

  31. This may be the locus of Deseret and Mission Field divergence. These gifs, while cool, mean nothing to me!

  32. Left Field says:

    There’s a Saturday’s Warrior movie? When did that come out?

  33. Ronan,
    I’m certain that it is possible for you to get the movie. Acquire it and admire it.

  34. “I have watched this movie more than any other in my entire life (approximately three times a week from age 4 to 6, and if you think I’m exaggerating ask my poor family).”

    No need to feel remorse since Mormon theology teaches that we lack the capacity to sin prior to the age of eight.

  35. Ronan: A used copy of the DVD is available at Amazon.co.uk. You really should see it. You will be amazed. (But not in a good way.)

  36. The full movie is available in all its non-HD glory on YouTube (at least in the States). I’m simultaneously embarrassed and proud that my kids watch it on Sunday afternoons.

  37. Rigel Hawthorne says:

    I’ve been waiting for the advent of Saturday’s Warriors sing-along activities, kind of like Messiah sing-alongs that are held for Handel fans. Haven’t seen the movie, but had the cast album during my formative years.

  38. I grew up in Minneapolis, and when church put on a regional production of Saturday’s Warrior, it became a family affair–my sister ran the makeup and hair department, I played Ernie, my brother played Kessler, and my oldest brother played the evil Mack (hey Flinders, ho! Flinders, cmon we got to GO Flinders!), for which he grew a beard, because beards are the embodiment of evil.

    We played two weekends in a large auditorium to sold out houses.

    I had never heard of the musical before this experience, and have never seen it since.

  39. You skipped SAILING ON, Jessie!?!? That’s the best song in the whole dang show. I still love that tune. And yeah, maybe I used to belt it out when I was about 14ish in my bedroom on my portable karaoke player using a cassette tape which was recorded by placing my tape recorder next to the TV and playing the movie.

    Also, in the sidebar there’s an authors elsewhere link that doesn’t work but I want to see it. It says “Crochet Color Tipped Scarf (Free Pattern).” The link leads to some sort of code, like an rss feed or something.

  40. Kyle M: “You remembered your promise, Jessie!”

    AAHAHHAHHHAHAHA

  41. Immediately after my baptism while in college, my new Mormon best friend made me swear an oath that I would not let anyone make me watch this show until I had been a member at least a year. In the wake of accepting other stranger than life ideas such as proxy baptism’s, she knew I might also believe this stuff if it seemed so many others believed it too. I happily complied because I trusted her implicitly. It was wise advice. Glad I followed it. Thanks for posting this. Makes me laugh to recall my first year as a Mormon.

  42. I directed a long-running production of the play in Salt Lake in the mid-late 80s. It ran so long we kept changing casts and some actors ended up playing more than one part. Bart Hickenlooper was our original Wally (and went on to play the role in the film) and younger brother Eric payed Jimmy. Bart’s twin brother Bret was my original Todd. Later we had pretty much the entire Hughes Brothers clan-before their Branson days. I did not care for the movie version.

  43. Part 2 has to include: “A big house on the hill? Or, oops, forgot my pill!”

  44. Jack Hughes says:

    What was so bad about those kids Jimmy hung out with? They were relatively clean-cut, had progressive views on global issues and birth control, and had enough discipline to execute tight choreography. And a token minority. My parents would have much preferred me hanging out with a crowd like that, rather than the hypocritical seminary-skipping LDS peers I had as a teen.

  45. Thomas Parkin says:

    I want to echo concerns about the bare shoulders in these productions. Of course, these were made in the 1970s, before new light and knowledge on the subject of modesty came into the world . We now know, of course, that bodies in the eternities are made out of clothes. Take off a glove, and we see that the hand is itself a glove. Take off that glove, and we see yet another glove. Think about fornicators trying to take off their pants in the next life!! What joy this doctrine brings me.

  46. ^ Thomas wins ^

  47. Cynthia L., remember how I once told you that Michael Jackson’s niece and I were unimpressed? Well, it turns out that the nephew of Jimmy Flinders and Wally Kessler and I are also unimpressed.

  48. Why squiggle over so many God ships running around this earth. Pray to your God that hears your voice and guides your way through life. Let fools mingle with each other to hell freezes over. The God of Abraham is mankind’s watch tower. It is sickening to see LDS members
    fighting over insignificant matters. Joseph Smith was a prophet and dwells in the presence of our
    father in heaven. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  49. That’s right, people, stop squiggling already.

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