Police Beat Roundtable #14

The Fourteenth installation of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

This week: repeat guest Ken Jennings is caught lollygagging.

Steve: I believe you are all familiar with our little game. Three four players. One police blotter.

GST: Two men enter, one man leaves.

Ken: NO RULES! [Read more...]

Intern wanted.

Seeking intern on BYU campus to perform some lightweight research at the HBLL. No compensation but endless glory. Interns will have to share a glock between them. Apply within.
[Read more...]

Counting our blissful martyrs

At least a part of our shared faith revolves around the times of hardship during the Restoration, and the number of faithful Saints who gave their lives in defending their religion against merciless mobs. It is perhaps worth examining how many people have died as martyrs to Mormonism, and consider the relative importance of their sacrifices. [Read more...]

Engineering Vision

As the Juvenile Instructor has also noted, we’ve received an invitation in the inbox:

The Claremont School of Religion, the LDS Council on Mormon Studies and the Mormon Scholars Foundation are pleased to present: “Parallels and Convergences: Mormon Thought and Engineering Vision,” a conference featuring keynote speaker Terryl Givens and a panel of LDS engineers. [Read more...]

Forgive Us Our Debts

There may be no language to describe the Atonement; recurring passages in the Book of Mormon and other works show the incapacity of mortals to express the joy and wonder inherent in God’s glory. When we try to approach the divine through language, one of the more common scriptural tropes for Christ’s expiation and our relationship with God is that of indebtedness. References to our indebted nature occur in all of the standard works.(1)

How far can the language of indebtedness take us in coming closer to God through Christ? [Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #13

The Thirteeth installation of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

This week: former guest Ken Jennings drops in as a holiday surprise for BCC readers.

Between Feb. 6 and March 3, University Police received a phone call from students’ parents. The parents gave police information about criminal activities their sons were involved in. The police found no criminal records for the students, but upon further investigation, discovered the two individuals were impersonating a police officer. Both individuals were cited in court for impersonating a police officer. [Read more...]

You Make The Call: Holiday Party Edition

You’re hosting a holiday party in your home for your office co-workers. You are the only Mormon, and your co-workers know of your peculiar-peopleness. Several of them have nervously approached you to ask whether the customary holiday party alcohol will be forbidden at the party (none of them expect you to purchase alcohol or to drink it).

YOU MAKE THE CALL!

[poll id="128"]

Roundtable discussion: Evil-speaking, Part II

As promised in Part I, Steve gets reamed in this one.

[Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #12

The Twelfth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

On the 12th Day of Police Beat, BCC brought to me: Peter LLC as a guest.

Steve: So, because we got so many complaints about PBR #11, we decided to invite aboard someone that nobody finds offensive: Peter LLC. [Read more...]

Teh Presiderer

I told Sumer the other day that after much prayer and fasting, I finally understood what it meant to preside in the home. She was of course enraptured to hear my explanation, but the things of Steve are not so easily understood or explained. Instead I drew a sketch of my revelation. As you can see in the attached Revelatory Flow Chart, the secrets of Righteous Priesthood Leadership in the Home (TM) can be learned in minutes but take a lifetime to master.

No need to thank me, Bloggernacle. Print it out, go have a great FHE, courtesy of me.

Police Beat Roundtable #11

This one goes to eleven.

The Eleventh installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

This week: Special Guest Eric D. Snider.

A 21-year-old man visiting Heritage Halls overdosed on aspirin Tuesday night. He was not feeling well due to an upset stomach and attempted to remedy it with medication. The person with the man was too upset to explain to the police what had happened. The visitor was taken to the hospital and is reportedly doing well. [Read more...]

Steve’s big list of things we ought to bring back, unless we never did them, in which case we should start.

I was grousing the other day to my bishop about how the Church during my halcyon days of youth seemed to have a number of practices and activities that were fun, challenging, at times embarrassing, but ultimately productive ways of forming community and strengthening the ward. I realize that correlations and the ever-growing CHI have stifled many of these activities, some for good (and liability-limiting!) reasons, but still — I’m bringing churchy back. Most of these, upon reflection, are simply ways to use the stages in our cultural halls.

1. Roadshows. [Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #10

The tenth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

This week: Geoff J. drops in as special guest, with disastrous results.

A former student, carrying a hacksaw and a bike, was stopped in the Deseret Towers area at 11:30 a.m. on Saturday. An officer interviewed the individual, and the former student claimed the bike was his. The individual was warned and released due to lack of evidence. [Read more...]

FHE Poll

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Kylie Turley asked for this one.

Skin-to-Skin

When my son Pearson was born, he weighed five pounds and four ounces, had a wheezy cry and pink skin with just a little too much yellow. Shortly after the miracle of birth (which I have previously described as “pulling a frog out of a butterball turkey”), they whisked him and his sister away to get cleaned up and swaddled. Later that day they would take my boy up to the NICU and observe him, occasionally putting him under biliruben lights that reminded me of the heating lamps in fast-food restaurants.

And then the nurse told me to take off my shirt. [Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #9

The ninth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here and here, here, and here, and here.

A female student walking on East Campus Drive was hit in the back by a substance similar to chocolate pudding. The victim was unable to identify the suspects but said they may have been driving a red four-door car. The victim said the impact of the chocolate pudding hurt her back but did not require medical attention. [Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #8

The eighth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here, here, here, here and here, here, and here.

Guest Starring: Adam Greenwood. Also, Steve Evans decided to start calling himself “Stephen,” to the hilarity of all.

Suspected Gunman

The Provo Police Department called the University Police for assistance after a jogger reported a man scaling a fence carrying a gun while exiting the Provo Temple grounds on Monday at 1:36 a.m. Police searched for the suspect but could not find anyone. Police think the witness could have mistaken a security guard for the suspect.
[Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #7

The seventh installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here , here, here, here and here, and here.

Special guest this week: a random John.

A witness reported four males throwing water balloons at vehicles from the pedestrian overpass on North Campus Drive, Nov. 13 at 3 a.m. Police responded and approached the individuals. They fled and were arrested. The suspects were charged with interfering with officers, throwing missiles and public intoxication. Three of the four suspects were BYU students. The individuals were released after receiving citations and will be referred to the Honor Code Office. [Read more...]

The Evans Brain Trust

I read news articles, blog posts, punditry and other pieces on the internet pretty much every day. Increasingly I find myself drawn towards some authors, whose work I read religiously, while other authors I almost never read. I thought it might be interesting to talk about the people whose opinions and views we always read, and think about where that leads us. [Read more...]

General Conference Sunday Afternoon Open Thread

This is the end, beautiful friends.

General Conference Sunday Morning Open Thread

Featuring the Power of the Wasatch, the Cougar Marching Band!! Or not.

Police Beat Roundtable #6

The sixth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here , here, here, here and here.

This time, a special guest: Kenneth J. Jennings III.

Basketball Assault

A BYU fan assaulted a Utah fan after the basketball game between the two schools on Jan. 25. After the game, a BYU fan and Utah fan began arguing. The Utah fan was blowing a long trumpet-like horn in the BYU fan’s face. The BYU fan shoved the horn, and the mouthpiece hit the Utah fan’s tooth and chipped it. The Utah fan was treated at the First Aid Room. The two individuals shook hands and had no further problems. [Read more...]

Tales from the banned

UPDATED.

Sometimes when people get “banned,” they’re actually placed in a queue where we can approve (or delete) their comments (the truly “banned” just show up as spam). It is very telling how people behave after they get some administrative nudges. In same cases (such as this), I think we see true colors for the first time.

That is all. Go your way.

Navigating Treacherous Waters, Part III

This is the third part of a three-part series. Part I can be found here, and Part II can be found here.

*As usual, please remember that I am not a financial advisor and that these posts of mine are not advice for you to take without talking to your own financial advisor and giving serious thought to your own finances. Seriously.

So we have good guesses as to the origins of the present crisis and have some good practical tips for the kinds of short-term things we ought to be doing. What next? [Read more...]

Whoa.

Friday comes early!

Nearly all legislation pertaining to abortion considers the duration of gestation. The human mind has presumed to determine when “meaningful life” begins. In the course of my studies as a medical doctor, I learned that a new life begins when two special cells unite to become one cell, bringing together 23 chromosomes from the father and 23 from the mother. These chromosomes contain thousands of genes. In a marvelous process involving a combination of genetic coding by which all the basic human characteristics of the unborn person are established, a new DNA complex is formed. A continuum of growth results in a new human being. Approximately 22 days after the two cells have united, a little heart begins to beat. At 26 days the circulation of blood begins. To legislate when a developing life is considered “meaningful” is presumptive and quite arbitrary, in my opinion.

Elder Russell M. Nelson, “Abortion: An Assault on the Defenseless,” October 2008 Ensign (not yet available online).

Discuss.

Police Beat Roundtable #5

The fifth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here , here, here and here.

This time, a special guest: Adam Greenwood.

A male was seen disposing of a cup out the window of his truck at Wymount Terrace on Jan. 16. A female witnessed the act and returned the cup to the owner. She asked him not to litter, and while driving away, the male threw the cup out of his window. A second witness called the University Police and reported the act. The male, a non-student, was cited for littering.
[Read more...]

Navigating Treacherous Waters, Part II

This is the second part of a three-part series. Part I can be found here. Part III will deal with long-term investment strategies and policymaking.

UPDATED DISCLAIMER: As I noted before, these are just my thoughts are ARE DEFINITELY NOT financial advice that you should take without first talking to a financial advisor. Please do your own research before doing (or not doing) anything I mention. Also, I am NOT advocating a run on any banks!!

So let’s say you have a savings account at Washington Mutual…. [Read more...]

Navigating Treacherous Waters, Part I

This is the first of a three-parter dealing with the current financial crisis. Part I deals with the causes and origins of the crisis. Part II addresses the issue of what, if anything, us lowly consumers should be doing with our money. Part III will focus on longer-term issues of investing and reforms.

Lehman Brothers is gone. Morgan Stanley may be bought by a Chinese concern. Merrill Lynch has been taken over. Bear Stearns — bought. AIG is the subject of a massive bailout. Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae are in conservatorship. IndyMac was shut down. Overseas, the crisis has taken its toll on Northern Rock and other banks (most recently the Halifax Bank of Scotland). Now it is clear that we are in the midst of a truly global economic crisis.

Over the last few weeks, I have been receiving increasing numbers of emails from people wondering about the financial problems in the U.S. markets. Questions I have heard range from “should I move my savings account away from X Bank?” to “which political party should I blame for this?” [Read more...]

Freedom, Agency, and Liberty

As I mentioned in a previous post, our ward has a nascent blog for Gospel Doctrine. Once in a while I may cross-post between the sites. Here’s the latest.

Our discussion yesterday dealt with Samuel’s exhortation for the Nephites to repent, and in particular the notions of freedom to choose and moral agency (see Helaman 14:30 for an example). Some asked about the differences between “freedom,” “free agency,” “moral agency” and “liberty.” [Read more...]

Police Beat Roundtable #4

The fourth installment of our ongoing look at that most charming column of the Daily Universe. Previous installments can be read here , here, and here.

In late December police received a call from a man who claimed he was being stalked by a woman he worked with. Police said the woman believes she is supposed to marry him and won’t leave him alone. Officers advised the woman about the possible consequences of her actions. The case is pending to see if there is any further activity.
[Read more...]

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