I am one of a handful of people who can read Sumerian, the world’s oldest written language (c.3000 BC, from cuneiform tablets in Iraq/Mesopotamia). Not a great party trick, I grant you, but wonderful if you are into UFOlogy.
You see, according to a Russian-born "scholar", Zechariah Sitchin, the truth about human origins is revealed if one carefully studies the mythology of ancient Sumer. Sitchin proposes that Earth was colonised 450,0000 years ago by an alien race fleeing their dying home planet, Nibiru. Known in different cultures as the Annunaki, the Nephilim and the Elohim, about 300,000 years ago the aliens genetically upgraded monkeys to create a perfect slave race: humans.
This reminds me of a guy I met on my mission who claimed he’d worked out what star Kolob was. I wish I remembered which one he said. Anyway, no mainstream Mormon wastes much time on these things, but it is interesting how Mormonism can (like bona fide Sumerology) work in favour of X-philic geeks:
Kolob, Extra-terrestrial Adam, bright "personages" floating in the air, etc. etc.
[P.S. I’m back in the USA after an extended stay in the Motherland. Expect more postings at this rag as a consequence.]
By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog 
I worked in a library for a little while and there was a man who would come in and print up reams of articles about UFOs, government conspiracies, etc. He was a harmless but strange dude. It certainly broke up the monotony to glance at the headlines of the articles he was reading.
I don’t recall anything about Nibiru popping up …
The planet Nibiru is supposed to be the 10th mega planet in our solar system. It’s also known as “Planet X.” Nibiru makes a 3500 year orbit that passes between the earth and the sun and because it’s so big our planet’s magnetic poles are supposed to realign with it’s gravitational pull which causes the earth to stop it’s rotation which goes on to cause huge planetary catastrophes. According to some cult that claimed contact with the aliens on this planet, planet X was supposed to make another appearance in May of 2003, but alas it did not come. This “scholar” claims the biblical flood was caused by Nibiru making its orbital pass between the earth and the sun. He also says that ancient Sumerians were able to fly to space. It’s fun to think about, but hard to believe
I find Sumer so fascinating, I envy your reading abilities. I studied a bit of cunieform in a class, but nothing serious. I have heard a couple interviews w/ Zechariah Stitchin, and have pondered LDS implications, but his conspiracy and speculation theories just makes me wonder how he comes up with this stuff and not laugh at himself. (This also goes for some of his disciples like William Henry.) But I do believe that the UFO question is a genunine phenomenon, but I think shows like the X-files created a popular and simplistic view of UFOs, etc, and downplays it’s complexity in exchange for entertainment.
Sumer is especially nice in Seattle where the average temperature is around 75 degrees. And its beautiful.
“pondered LDS implications”
Dallas, do tell… This is the place for any crazy LDS cosmologica you care to share.
And J., Sumer is pronounced Soo-mer you peasant.
Sumer is so fascinating, I married her! And yes, J., she would be especially nice in Seattle. Time will tell.
Yeah, so when is time finally going to get off its *ss and do some telling, Steve?
Aaron B
mythology of ancient Sumer. Huh? I’ve met Sumer, and she didn’t look old. Is that why it is a myth? Or is it because we should measure time married to Steve E. on the scriptural scale, where one day equals a thousand years?
Well I was watching old episodes of Battlestar Galactica the other night and…
There are all sorts of conspiracies and alternate histories out there that have an LDS flavor to them.
Wasn’t Battlestar Galatica written by a member of the Church?
Brett, yes. Scroll down toward the bottom of the page, under the heading, “Mormon Influences/References.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlestar_Galactica_(1978)
Aaron,
Are you ok? You seem to be especially anti-social recently.
– a concerned lurker
foo, Aaron is angry at Steve for providing clues that led to him being outed as Prudence McPrudie, hence his antisocial behavior.
I never thought I would ever see a post about Nibiru. Finally…
But you know, one thing that always surprises me is the way Mormons are so easily dismissive of other ideas, like the idea of Planet X or Nibiru, when our own faith can seem equally far-fetched and laughable at first glance. It’s really troubling.
Nibiru would offer an explanation for many things that occur in the scriptures. If we assume a God that works miracles through natural means than a planet with an extremely eliptical orbit that travels through our solar system could explain a number of scriptural events, not only Noah’s flood, but three days of darkness, geographical upheavals that bury cities, and the appearance of the star of Bethlehem.
There have been legitimate astronomers who have posited the idea of undiscovered planets and most people are ignorant of just how recently are known planets have been discovered. Nasa sponsored studies have shown that there are strong gravitational pulls on Pluto and Uranus that have yet to be explained. A Niburu-like planet is one real possibility.
It just seems to me as Mormons we always look at such ideas with skepticism bordering on ridicule while at the same time believing in such things as angels delivering up ancient records buried in hillsides, urims and thumims, planets called Kolob, and various other things that seem unlikely, weird, and unsubstantiated.
what about the alchemy/templar business. supposedly Moses was a master of Egyptian interdimensional matter manipulation which explains Sinai, and is all related to the Annunaki etc. etc. In fact this all relates to the ancient mystery cult business. I’m sure there are many mysteries of the divine that were known at certain times that we don’t know now. I’m also more sure that the evidence of the gospel existing from the beginning and the extreme apostasy that has occurred and did occur anciently is extensive. It’s all fascinating and incomprehensible. Any thoughts (supposedly the ark of the covenant is sitting in a parallel dimension in Chartres Cathedral – maybe)?
Extreme Dorito,
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Like I have anything in common with Prudence McPrude. Please. Has it ever occurred to anyone that maybe Prudence is really Bob or Logan? They haven’t commented as “themselves” in months, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t hanging around …
Aaron B
Steve EM, that’s uncalled for. Sorry to ban you.
I agree, Septimus. As Mormons we are temperamentally inclined to dismiss such theories, because we’ve grown so defensive about our own far-fetched beliefs. And it reflects poorly on the church to proselyte by drawing doctrinal parallels to UFO legends or Nibiru or JFK conspiracy theories.
Aaron,
While you lie, your IP address doesnt.
I’ve known a lot of Doritos in my day, of both the Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch variety, and in my experience, they are always liars.
Aaron B
Not all Doritos are liars, Aaron. Only the sinful ones. You would know this if you weren’t such an apostate.
Shut up, Prudence. And thanks for pretending you’re me, even so far as to use my email address as your own. No one is fooled, believe me.
Aaron B
Do not diss Kolob. You never know when you might need a friend hanging around out there or sitting on a Throne nearby.