Mormonads: NOW VOTE!


Time to vote:

Faced with declining church attendance and a diminished role in society, the Church of England has turned to an ad agency to give it the "Skoda treatment."

Skoda is a Czech car-maker that had a woeful reputation in the 1980s. Then it was bought by BMW and tried to shake its dodgy image. It has been largely successful, with much credit going to a clever and effective ad campaign. Now the same ad company that represented Skoda is working for the Church of England.

Here are some of the new slogans:

The Church. Provider of judo lessons, antique sales, playgroups, ballet lessons, school discos, flower-arranging
classes, theatre clubs and, oh yes, church.

Why go to India to find yourself? You might be round the corner.

More dances are held in church halls than in dance halls.

So, with Friday being goof off day here at BCC, here are my ideas for LDS ads:

– "Mormons: We survive hurricanes"*

– "Mormons: Serving eternal families since 1830"

– "Mormons: Enjoy your mansion here on Earth" or "Mormons: In our Church are many mansions"

The floor is yours…

*Bad taste, I know. So be sure to give your money to the Red Cross or the Church in order to assuage my guilt. Those people need help.


  1. “Mormonism: Coming to pass since 1830”

    “Prosper in the Land”

    “Kind of like being jewish except instead of bacon its wide”

  2. …er, wine not wide.

  3. J,
    Sound like you need to stay off the wide.

  4. “Read the Book of Mormon – it’s da BoM.”

    Oh, quit groaning. I could make 500 t-shirts with that slogan and sell out in 30 minutes at EFY. Deseret Book better not steal my idea.

  5. Some more slogans that might appeal to the younger set:

    “We’re tight, like unto a dish”

    “My soul delighteth in phatness”

    Shall I quit now? OK, OK.

  6. No, Mark, keep em coming. They are fantastic!

    And may I draw everyone’s attention to the Creative Commons License to the right…. Hands off! (BCC t-shirts anyone?)

  7. Brialliant, Mark.

    How bout “thrash the nations.” In some sort of skateboardy font.

  8. Mormons vs Morons, it’s the letter of the law

    The stripling warriors really weren’t naked

    Ronon for you: Mormonism where your tithing donation buys you more than just a good pew (I always liked the private pew boxes in the Church of England)

    or – Church of England, Church of Jesus Christ – I’ll take Christ….but I love England

  9. “The mo Mo’, the mo bettah”

  10. “We’re tight, like unto a dish”

    HA!! That is classic, Mark.

  11. My vote is so for:

    “Mormonism: Coming to pass since 1830”

    Whose making the tshirts?

  12. Kim,
    We have a sweat-shop all geared up in Indonesia.

  13. Nom de McDurkee says:

    URL for Mormonad (you’ll have to cut and paste the link, as it doesn’t appear possible to embed artwork in a reply):

  14. !

  15. “Tight like unto a dish” — that was great.

  16. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it’s called church sports…

    Copyright 2005 B.L. Duffin

  17. Looks like Mark’s got it (barring a late surge for “coming to pass”). Seems then that us Mormons, “we’re tight, like unto a dish.”

    A jar of Deseret honey is on its way to you, Mark, courtesy of a lost group of Jaredites recently found floating on a barge in the Indian Ocean.

    (Great slogan, kudos to Mark and the Book of Ether, but when was a dish ever “tight”?)

  18. None of the above

  19. “but when was a dish ever “tight”?)”

    I guess you haven’t heard that they’ve discovered a line of Tapir Tupperware at Macchu Picchu recently.

  20. God: Looking for a few Mor mon.

  21. Ryan, I’m dense. What’s a “mon”?

    Melinda, but everyone knows the Jaredites lived on the Yucatan.

    D, Boo. Hiss.

  22. Not to digress but SKODA was purchased by VW in 1991, and is aimed at providing comparable models to BMW.

    And howabout a comparison campagin?

    Mormons: 50% Less Weird than the Scientologists

    Mormons: Now with less wives.

  23. Bu 50% weirder than SDA’s?

    And sorry, Jay, but I’m not a car guy. Whoops.