Mormon Culture Tournament – Round 2 part 3

Well, I learned some thing last week. First the polls had roughly 150 votes each after the first 48 hours, then gained roughly 20 more votes each over the next three days. Therefore, polls will now last 48 hours (assuming that I have time to keep up). Keep that in mind. Also, people love Cheerios more than having food delivered to their homes. Craziness, I tell you!

The winners from last time are: 9. Dear John Letters (beating 1. Arnold Friberg), 5. The Cultural Hall, 7. Cheerios in Sac Meeting, and 4. Temple Square. Take that, the Christus! We like our spaces big, spare, and featuring basketball lines on the floor!

Today’s combatants are:

1. Steve Young vs. 8. For the Strength of Youth

Steve Young ran over UNO for the win, 79-21. Meanwhile, For the Strength of Youth left Cipher in the Snow out in the cold (where he dies mysteriously) to the tune of 75-25.
My prediction: Young leads his team to victory, leading to the youth watching tv on the Sabbath, natch.

2. Green Jello vs. 12. Euphemisms (Heck, Flip, Darn)

Green Jello enveloped Michael McLean, 73-27 (but don’t worry, Mike. We…can be…together…foreversomeday). Euphemisms beat that flippin’ flipper Especially for Youth all to heck and back, 73-27.
My prediction: In an upset, Green Jello is durned to Hades.

7. Dancing Book of Mormon length apart vs. 14. Asking out with clues/scavenger hunts

Dancing Book of Mormon length apart kept its distance from Lock your Heart, 58-42. Asking out with clues simply told Ken Jennings “no,” 57-43.
My prediction: Almost too close to call. I think that dancing maintains its chastity by never responding to the first clue.

4. Pioneer Day vs. 6. 3 Nephite Stories

Pioneer Day drug a handcart over Moving Holidays off of Sunday, 76-24. The 3 Nephites left Handcart Reenactments in a cove in Wyoming to die (and then get picked up by their leaders later in the day), 52-48.
My prediction: Everyone loves a parade!

Vote above and post below.


  1. Everyone should vote for For The Strength of Youth. Steve Young, while a great guy, and an awesome football player does not do for the church and for our culture what For the Strength of Youth does.

    “Learn wisdom in thy youth,” the scriptures teach us. How can Steve Young top that?

  2. J. Daniel Crawford says:

    My brief argument for Steve Young: he is the public face of Mormonism. Far more people know about Steve Young than know about President Hinckley. Far more people know about Steve Young than know about Mitt Romney (at this point at least). When people are randomly picking Mormons out of the air, Steve Young is one of the first people they come up with. He is the handome, smiling, smarmy heart of the perception of the church throughout the USA.

  3. Wow, I am totally apathetic for this segment. Maybe I want for the Strength of the Youth to win, but isn’t that a foregone conclusion? (Still smarting at the cultural hall and cheerios victories from last round)

  4. Cheers for 3 Nephite Stories! Both Pioneer Day and 3 Nephite Stories are fascinating relics of Wasatch Mountain culture that are wildly out of place in today’s global church — but of the two out-of-place relics, 3 Nephite Stories are more fun! More supernatural, more folkloric, more likely to involve demons… What’s not to love?

  5. No, Matt, NO!!! I need your passion, your enthusiasm, your wrong-heading choices to validate this whole process. More talk like that and I might revoke your unofficial undersecretarial position.

  6. JDC,

    That’s a good argument to make, but I guess I see Steve Young as a fad, culturally speaking that is. Maybe it is that out here on the East Coast, you hardly ever hear of him (and granted when people out here talk about Mormons, certainly For the Strength of Youth is not the first thing that comes to their minds either). I think this is another case that highlights the very Mountain West-bias of the “Mormon culture” at this point.

  7. It may also be that I am overemphasizing the importance of American Football and the Superbowl.

  8. Well, there are shaping up to be two tight races today. Theories?

  9. I voted for Strength of Youth. Its teachings and importance will remain with us long after Steve Young (great guy that he is since he is a distant relative) is no longer that important. Steve would probably agree with my sentiment.

    I voted for Heck and Flip. Here is TX Green Jello is not standard fare at a ward dinner. And I use the LDS swear words all the time anyway.

    You have to have gone to one of the BYU schools to exp all the crazy dating scenarios. I went Big Ten and voted for the BOM apart.

    Pioneer day vs 3 nephite stories. Pioneer day will be with much longer then the slowly going out of style 3 nephites

  10. I’m with bbell, and again, Mountain West vs everywhere else. I knew about the BOM length apart but had no idea about crazy ways to ask girls out until I got to BYU.

    And yeah, For the Strength of Youth is only growing in understanding and importance. Steve Young no longer has the megaphone he used to have when he was playing and single.

  11. Ardis Parshall says:

    Hmmmm. The 4th question is the only one with any Mormonness left in it. Please don’t tell me that “Mormon Culture” is going to boil down to some stupid BYU dating phenomenon.

  12. Despite my flipping desire to support all the dang fake swear words (my coworkers now say “curses” and “dirty rotten”) I had to support the jello… but only because I once saw hot dogs floating in some at Break the Fast in my YSA ward.

  13. None of these eight choices should advance to the next round

  14. I can’t believe 3 Nephite stories are losing.

  15. I think that euphemisms is the cinderella story of the tournament. Heck, I can see them going all the way.

  16. clayton,

    Sorry, but even Euphemisms are going to be Dear Johned!

  17. Pioneer Day? You mean people outside of Utah care about it?

  18. Kim #17 – No, they don’t. But they care about 3 Nephite Stories even less.

  19. Ann,
    As a Southern Member, you should know. Any excuse for a barbeque is a good excuse for a barbeque.

  20. Here is my vote,

    For the strength of youth
    BoM Length apart
    Pioneer Day.

    It was a tight one between the Pioneer day and 3 nephites. Although just the other day I told a 3 nephite story, and used them in a joke. Ultimately I thought Pioneer day to be more widely known as representation of the culture. Think about the recent Anthemm Faith in Every Footstep.

  21. My former boss, a Brooklyn Jew who endured 3 good-bagel-less years living in SLC in the 80s, insisted that I have Pioneer Day off as a religious holiday. I responded that Pioneer Day was more of a state holiday that a religious one and she shot back, “and in Utah the difference is?” Can’t argue with that logic.

    She says that has holiday envy because Pioneer day falls right between 4th of July and Labor day — a midsummer holiday right when you need one.

    I’ve got a new boss now, but I still get July 24th off each year. ;-)

  22. Re: elaborate date request rituals and BOM-width separated dancing – the date rituals are a Mormon culture region phenomenon (confined to Utah, Idaho, parts of Arizona, and maybe part of SoCal), while all teens in the church have scriptures. Hence, the Book of Mormon thing is more representative of the church :).

  23. I voted the same as Ben:

    For the strength of youth
    BoM Length apart
    Pioneer Day.

    I love and am fascinated by 3 Nephite Stories. They have always intrigued me, but I have to say that Pioneer Day is just more representative overall.

  24. Proud Daughter of Eve says:

    Ann #18: We do too! Every year my ward here in Ontario has a picnic down at a local park. The ward I grew up in in Maryland did stuff too, though I don’t remember what. I do remember wearing pioneer clothes to church that Sunday. (I think it was just because my mom liked the excuse to dress me up.)

  25. Is pioneer day really more representative of the church? I grew up hearing 3 Nephite stories. I went to Utah as a 15 year old and had to ask someone why the fireworks stands were still open after the 4th.

  26. My votes as a new convert (I first set foot in a chapel 6 months ago):

    Steve Young – I’ve actually heard of him
    Euphemisms – I’m not too crazy about Jello which doesn’t really seem to show up at my stake anyway, but when we decided to take lasagna, there were several others with the same idea. (I’m in WV)

    No vote on the 3rd question. I have never experienced Mormon-style dating, and I figure it’s too late now that I’m already married.

    Pioneer Day – I don’t know enough about this. Am I correct in assuming that this pertains to the voyage to Utah? That’s a huge event in Church History, so I’ll go with that.

  27. Sadly, Three Nephite Stories has about as much a chance as J. Golden Kimball, i.e., none. Even so, I love to swap those stories during Sunday School.

    Where are the Three Nephites?

    The Paradox of Mormon Folklore

  28. Thanks for dropping by, D. Welcome to the church and to the blog.

    Pioneer Day celebrates the day that the pioneers first set foot in the Salt Lake valley (July 24). It is a state holiday in Utah and is often celebrated outside of Utah as a church activity (we had a rodeo and barbeque growing up in northern Florida).

  29. I think Pioneer Day should have the same significance to us that Passover has to the Jews. D. Allen is right, it is a huge event in our history.

    Also, I’m not sure about dancing BoM length apart. I know they used to do that, but is it still a common practice?

  30. Mark IV (#29)

    These days it seems to be more BoM *width* apart, for sure.

    My daughter (just turned 16) says she has the BoM on CD…


  31. As a missionary over there, I remember that they celebrate Pioneer Day in the Church in Scotland. One more reason to have a party; sans Scotch of course.

  32. Has someone figured out whether the Book of Mormon is supposed to be horizontal or vertical?