Non-MHA Open Thread

The question begs to be asked, how dull is Mormon history? Are you fed up with the way the Mormon blogs suck the life from your bone marrow by going on and on about all this historical garbage? It has been said that a 50 car pile-up attracts all manner of sick voyeurism. I say to you MHA, do we need more rubber-necking over Mountain Meadows or the Second Manifesto?

Adding insult to injury, BCC continues to IGNORE the fact that ordinary, tithe paying Mormons are, in LARGE NUMBERS, not interested in all this historical navel-gazing and minutiae.

Mormon historians are the exact opposite of E.F. Hutton. When they talk, no one should listen. Who’s with me? Who else is BORED by history and historians? I HAVE HEARD MORE THAN ENOUGH.


  1. Lars – Did you somehow hack into one of the BCC admin’s computers? The topic almost seems illegal. :)

  2. Santayana says:

    Channeling Languatron again? Based on your reluctance to hear about the Second Manifesto, I suspect you will hear about it again, and again, and AGAIN, AND AGAIN…..

  3. I fit mit Lars. Have you even LOOKED at what those nerds are posting on their open thread? Like we’re supposed to believe that any of those pasty, near-sighted historians would frequent a FITNESS CENTER! About the only thing I can believe about all that blathering is what one of them said about WIND blowing. It must be a HOT wind.

  4. peterllc says:

    The fact that the event is being held in Sacramento says it all.

  5. Mike Reed says:

    LOL! It is hot wind indeed.
    I’d check to confirm that Kevin Barney is working out, but I’m leery about walking in on him squat-pressing in his spandex workout gear. ;) I think I’ll just take his word for it. Kevin’s a fit guy (dare I say, especially for his age?), so I don’t doubt it. But what is the big deal, really, about there being a MHA conference? Just because you are not interested doesn’t mean that other people are not.

  6. Steve Evans says:

    Lars, you cad!

  7. Kevin Barney always seems to “let it slip” that he’s going to the hotel workout room on these threads.

  8. mmiles, I brought my collection of BYU Nearly Nude sketches for identification, but couldn’t find Kevin in the workout room.

  9. Lars, I think you need to look deep within your soul and ponder why you feel so bored and angry. Perhaps the fault is not to be found with Mormon history, but rather your personal history. You poor, poor man. I hope you can work through your issues.

  10. Seriously, just take the discussions and you’re done. People who go beyond that clearly don’t trust God. Or his prophets.

  11. Ardis, I have seriously considered driving up just to meet you.

  12. Kevin Barney says:

    #5, “for my age” is an entirely appropriate qualifier!

    #6, you’re right, I mentioned the same thing on the Sunstone thread last year. I’m just trying to give people a sense for what I’m doing, especially in the period before the sessions really start in earnest.

  13. Randall says:

    Lars, you are an oracle.

    Mormon history is very blasé. The only workshop I would attend is a history of Mormon cooking:

    Who coined the term funeral potatoes?

    Why did our forebears Mason Jar all sorts of limp veggies when Walmart was so much cheaper?

    Why didn’t the prophets foresee the need for low carb diets?

  14. I know this is mostly a joke, but I agree. I went through a period where I wanted to know everything…EVERYTHING. I guess I hit the wall with it though, because now I’m done. Stick a fork in me. I don’t care about Mormon history at all any more.

  15. Randall says:

    I believe it was Kevin Barney who told me that the never-published JST of the Pearl of Great Price revealed that the Glory of God was actually intrigue

    If so, this posting is truly inspired.

  16. MikeInWeHo says:

    Is there a connection between the use of Mason jars and the Nauvoo period?

    But more importantly, did anybody besides me notice that BCC kinda ground to a halt after Kevin told us he was going to the workout room? (I suspect he still wears the speedo….)

  17. cj douglass says:

    Lars, I think you’re dead wrong.

    WE all know there are only two kinds of LDS – The intelligent and inoculated, who actually care about their spirituality (usually lawyers or academics who read Dialogue – consequently you have to speak English to be in this group) and the blind, who move like sheep and bow down to every whim of the correlation committee (everyone else).

    The sheep need to get on board and stop going on and on about heroic pioneers, inspired manifestos and of course that awful, made-up love story about Joseph and Emma. Yuck.

  18. Bob Durtschi says:

    “Why did our forebears Mason Jar all sorts of limp veggies when Walmart was so much cheaper?”

    I don’t really consider myself a “forebear” but “Free” is a hard price to beat. Which is what my wife Lynette paid. She heard of a whole field of green beans roughly two years into our marriage. She and her friend were pulling the plants up by their roots and tossing them into the station wagon. Just staying ahead of the tractor that was plowing them under. They were too ripe for the grocery store but just right for canning. We already had the jars. Lids were a few cents/dozen. This was almost 30 years ago and Walmart didn’t exist then. At least not in Ogden Utah. Probably couldn’t do that Today because of liability concerns. But even in CA where we moved later we could do better than the prices in local grocery store. Around August potatoes could be had for 69 cents for 10 pound bag. They are still available for less than $1.00 around that time at Savemart in the heart of Silicon Valley, Santa Clara, CA. Carrots and onions went on sale about the same time. That was the time to do Stew. Fill bottle up to the shoulder with chopped potatos, up to the ring with chopped carrots then top off with a half a chopped onion and a teaspoon of salt. Any time you wanted a cheap fast meal brown some meat and throw in a can of beans or corn. The bottled green beans were long gone by that time. BTW Grocery Outlet is usually much cheaper than Walmart for canned goods.

  19. You know guys, Bob Durtschi has a point. Free cannot be beat and canning lids are cheap. So much for the masonic Walmart theory.

  20. Unlike Ann, who at least used to want to know everything, I’ve never had much interest in Mormon history, or in any other kind of history. But I consider that my own intellectual limitation, and whenever I see Ardis Parshall’s or Kevin Barney’s posts, I both rejoice that other people are so fascinated by the subject and am afflicted with the same type of Mormon guilt I occasionally feel about my parallel and complete lack of interest in genealogy.

  21. Bob Durtschi,
    Do you have a brother called Hyrum?

  22. I guess I must bring the truth to the history of the Mason Jar. Peaches were the main thing canned. Then, on about half the jars, the seal was broken. In about a month, you had your supply of peach brandy for the winter.

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