To My Wife

On this the tenth birthday of our covenant.

With you is who I most want to be. You teach me the great power of female discourse, show me the God of women and men. Your compassionate soul expands mine. You teach me to see myself as God would, to see others as God would.

You have taught me a love of food as pleasure and communion, a love of things that grow and wish to be beautiful. I love our children, and I love you with them and beyond them.

You represent to me all that is best in Mormonism–the ceaseless desire for a better universe, the power of covenants as sacred relatedness, the glorious compass of truth which can describe facts and transform the stories of our origins and endings.

How desperately glad I am that we both elected to stay, despite our great fears of matrimony, at that altar 10 years ago today. You are the heaven that I aspire to.


  1. Every time I hear a general authority say, “My wife and I have never said an unkind word” I want to scream.

    I’ve thought the very same thing! Marriage can be messy. One of my philosophies is that your marriage can’t develop the intense bond needed to truly be an eternal one unless you’ve seriously wanted to kill each other a time or two.

  2. That’s beautiful, Sam. Thanks.

    You are wrong, earlgirl. I don’t like holding up such an unrealistic expectation for everyone (or even for most), but there are cases where that scenario is truthful – and expressive of a bond every bit as strong as any other marriage.

    Sam, I appreciate especially the last paragraph. I met my wife 26 years ago today. I was 16; she was 15. Once she turned 16, I never dated anyone else. We were engaged prior to my mission and her senior year in high school. We married less than 2 months after I returned from Japan – 21 1/2 years ago. I felt that she was my “split-apart” within two days of meeting her – and that was something I never expected or believed could happen. It was exactly like re-establishing a relationship with a best friend you haven’t seen for years.

    We have never fought – truly fought; we have never yelled at each other; we have disagreed and had to work through disappointment and hurt feelings, but there hasn’t been one moment in the last 21 years when I questioned whether or not we would be together forever. Not once.

    Literally, she is the half that makes me whole – the heaven I also aspire to.

  3. smb — I love the way you write about your family. Thank you and a happy anniversary to you both.

  4. Cheers, friend.

  5. Jennifer in GA says:

    This is incredibly beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Kevin Barney says:

    You and Kate are well matched. It is a blessing to be so equally yoked. Thanks for sharing this very public love letter to your wife.

  7. This is just beautiful.

  8. Wonderful smb, today is my and my wife’s anniversary too (8th). Cheers!