I just returned from my father-in-law’s funeral. I’ve blogged a lot about death recently, so I wanted to do something more upbeat. Here goes:
As the prayer at Grandpa’s funeral was being said, someone’s very loud cell phone went off. It had a catchy song for its ringtone–something like “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction.” I was on the stand (the funeral took place in a mortuary), and it sounded like the cell phone’s “ring” was coming from INSIDE the coffin. “Hmmm,” thought I, “what a great idea! I’m doing that when I die. I will arrange for a cell phone to go off at some crucial moment and play something completely weird. I will need someone to be complicit in this, of course. Surely Steve Evans would oblidge. DKL would probably do it even if I didn’t ask him to. But the question is, what song?
- “You Look Wonderful Tonight” (Clapton)
- “Don’t Fear the Reaper”
- “I Feel Pretty”
- “Got to Admit, It’s Gettin’ Better-(Couldn’t Get Much Worse)” -Beatles
- “The Long and Winding Road”
Also, I want ONLY Funeral Potatoes at my funeral, and I want a competition. The maker of the best funeral potatoes gets to take home a floral arrangement. I also want karaoke.
For more suggestions on Mormon funerals, see Ann Cannon’s “And Now for a Little Mormon Humor.”