The Illuminated Matsby: A Very Special Halloween Edition

A Scary Image of Faith and Devotion

"We solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man who has a pet lion and a woman who can light candles with her fingertips is altogether ooky."


  1. I love you, Matsby.

  2. Who performs the baptisms for the undead?

  3. B. Russ: you have to ask Stephenie Meyer. She has the keys.

  4. I trust that Gomez and Morticia are pretty solid members of their ward: doing their home and visiting teaching, accepting leadership callings (Gomez has the look of a beloved singles ward bishop to me), and fully supporting ward activities. Uncle Fester, by contrast, is one of those guys who’ll never get out of elders quorum no matter how old he gets.

  5. Come on! Uncle Fester is a patriarch.

  6. Uncle Fester? Are you kidding? The high priests would only take him if the bishop insisted upon it, and maybe not even them.

    Gradmama, by contrast, could easily be a temple matron, if there hadn’t been that unfortunate accident with the tarantula.

    Lurch, of course, is the Scoutmaster.

  7. Uncle Fester = Elder Wirthlin

  8. Thing isn’t shown here, as he has a Word of Wisdom problem.

  9. I’m not judging, but Thing isn’t the only Thing with a Word of Wisdom problem…

    His Aunt Petunia prays every day for him to have the strength to quit drinking.

  10. Not to mention the VW Thing – which hangs out with questionable characters and has been rumored to have “chastity issues”

  11. Kevin Barney says:

    Cousin Itt has been having recurring problems with the BYU honor code office. No one can figure out how to cut his hair so it is above his ears, or even if he has ears.

  12. Mommie Dearest says:

    It’s unnerving how appropriate the quasi-gothic spires look in the background.

  13. StillConfused says:

    #11 FTW

  14. #2 – I sure hope it isn’t Uncle Fester; as I recall he can illuminate light bulbs with his mouth, so he’d electrocute the poor slob who he was officiating for.

  15. And yet, perversely, they do fit the real “proclamation.” Is this a gentle plea for giving a little leeway to families who are different….?

  16. What about Grandpa Slurp, Aunt Blemish, and Cousin Clot?

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