[Note: Due to the unforeseen martyrdom of Jon McNaughton’s art sales in the BYU Bookstore at the hands of Teh Godless Libruls, we feel the need to eugooglize this fine art, and thus we have resurrected this thread. Haiku only, please.]
Originally posted on September 29, 2009
Art inspires art. This art, found on the sidebar, inspired me.
I choose to respond in haiku. You may respond as well, but we will only accept comments in haiku. (5-7-5 for those of you who don’t remember high school English….) Here are some thoughts to get you started:
Surprised Asian man:
Surprised because this Jesus
hails from fair Gondor?
Benjamin Franklin!
Even with your syphilis
you are on God’s side.
Smug Hollywood man
you are liberal and bad
but I would date you.
Blond business woman
you rate no commentary.
Where are your children?
Abraham Lincoln
freed the slaves and also starred
in a musical.
Professor Darwin
Educational elite!
I like chimpanzees.
________________________
By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog 
Army MLK!
Greet Jesus, Skousen in hand.
Blue states shine dimly.
On a mobile phone,
this is the Apocalypse.
Can you hear me now?
Poor Supreme Court Judge.
Such bad rulings (Bush v Gore)!
Nice Seiko though, dork.
That is not Jesus.
God dresses in corporate suits.
Not as a hippy.
5-7-4!!!! Ban thyself, Steve.
Bedtime for Bonzo?
Raising a chimpanzee is
no match for Jesus.
You got me AB. Now edited.
Justice Kennedy:
Black robes of a false priesthood
Avail you nothing.
Frederick Douglass knows.
Ain’t buying this for a minute.
This is a put-on.
“Can you hear me now?”
Asks mobile phone business man.
“Short-sell insurance.”
Satan: King of Bad.
No explanation needed.
But Jesus does? Huh.
Satan looks a lot
Like Emperor Palpatine
Jesus, use the Force!
Adams seems to say,
“Hey! Check my man, Abe Lincoln!”
Abe just says, “Ta-da!”
Where is the White House?
Maybe McNaughton believes
Barack is Savior
Lower right corner:
Not all lawyers are like this,
Must pay Sallie Mae
Carole Mikita
Liberal News Reporter
Man, she’s gonna burn.
Founding Father Jive!
Alexander Hamilton
Dance jazzy hands dance!
I procrastinate
my homework when I read and
comment on your blog.
Mr Hollywood,
Poor leather jacket choices
won’t help you in Hell.
Family doctor
Looks at Jesus. Realizes,
“That glowing’s not right.”
Oh, I almost forgot. Here’s a haiku I wrote a while back about limericks:
There once was a man,
From Nantucket he did come.
What fate befell him?
(This came about because I’ve never been able to find out what line comes after “There once was a man from Nantucket”.)
Tree fell on his head
In the forest he was dead
There was much bloodshed
Lawyer counts his cash
Pays woman to keep her child
See, he’s a hero!
Pregnant woman stares
She wants to keep her baby
why’s she sitting there?
John, Alex and Abe
A Presidential Boy Band
In vests like Greenwood
I still don’t get it,
Why pregnant woman is bad.
She wants the child, right?
Suck it, Mike Newdow!
Constitutional smack down.
Ken Starr owns you, bitch.
Marbury v. Mad’son —
What dangerous precedent!
Checks and balances?!?!?!?!!?
Ms. Adams is hot
Abigail in haute couture
Her hat turns me on.
Samuel Adams,
You stand way there in the back!
Stupid beer-maker.
My Blade Was Broken
But Now It Has Been Remade
Stink. Jesus Took My Shirt!
Jesus eyes the boy.
Extends a hand out to him,
“Pull my finger, son.”
Fifty stars shine bright
some shine brighter than others
pointed cough: red states
Jesus was a Jew
Who knew Jewish carpenters
Had Nordic features?
Katie FTW. I hereby make you a perma. Or queen for a day. Something.
Jesus’ head well-placed
Like moon blocking the sunlight
Safe to view eclipse.
Stupid snot-nosed boy!
Boogers on Constitution?!!
(taking off my belt)
God loves the Marines.
“…to the shores of Tripoli!”
Semper fi, Jesus.
Is that me sitting,
with the Origin, between
Jesus and Satan?
Christa McAulliffe….
I see the resurrection
did not help jumpsuits.
Mr. Hollywood
Satan whispers in your ear
Bad Ricky Gervais
Pregnant Lady points,
wondering why, the student
gets the cool blue book
Why the space program
fetish? Lots of federal
money being spent!
Thomas Jefferson
Mean looking club in thy hand
Please don’t beat Jesus
Pregnant Lady points
at the blond business woman.
I want a job too!
George Wythe makes the cut!
I bet when Connor saw this
He [crapped] in his pants.
[edited for a family audience]
Lame family doctor!
No stethoscopes needed now
there’s no blood, just bones.
Wait, what is that paper?
It is the Declaration
from the gift shop cheap
Liberal reporter,
Gets the best scoop of her life,
‘End comes’ news at Ten
‘Merican soldier
Wants to join the cool boy band.
Boys II Men it ain’t.
John Adams your eyes
Say you are feeling bemused
Hey, so are we bro
There is no point.
You will be banned.
Steve Evans always wins.
“Mr. McNaughton?
Yeah, this is George Wythe College.
Please send fifty prints.”
To MikeInWeHo:
Haiku is 5-7-5.
Last line epic FAIL.
MikeinWeHo, dude
If you can not figure out
5-7-5, don’t try.
Mike… snifff… that last one
was funny because it’s true.
I’m banned in Vegas.
Thank you, Steve Evans!
Haikus are real fun. Fart jokes
Are my specialty.
The Constitution?
Are amendments included?
Second is, I bet.
Civil war soldier
What’s up with all the crying?
The blue side won dude
Comic Book Idea
Looks better than One More Day
And Final Crisis (!)
Katie, darn you there
one minute too slow to be
the first to dis Mike
God’s own RNC
Must brace themselves for scandal.
Jesus? Green Party.
Christian Minister
Sees Tree of Life on Jesus’
shirt. Mormons were right.
Matt, my haiku skills
are Relief Society
honed. Two years well spent.
Final Crisis was….
a weak-willed at art
Not like Blackest Night!!
Your words avail you nothing children
We neither listen nor hear nor care
Who called you little poeple ??
No more meeting names
Family, Home, Personal
Just RS, OK?
Boyd K confuses
The crap out of me just now
And botches haiku
Evans, perhaps you meant:
Final Crisis was….
a weak-willed attempt at art
Not like Blackest Night!!
??
Troll late into night
Crawl back into your snake pit
Never to return
So Goeff J
Forget Haiku do they hear you? /us
Does he care
Do you
Do I
Will my son at Dairy queen
Liberal bloggers
Mocking patriotic art
You will rot in hell
Not a haiku, but just think of it being chanted by high school cheerleaders:
Reagan, Lincoln, JFK!
Jefferson, Ike, and JQA!
Why no Clinton WJ?
Karen, thanks a lot
A nice, public correction
is cutting off my balls.
F-16 pilot
Flies toward Reagan, then will go
On to JFK
Jesus says to boy:
Wanna see me make this thing
Hang by just a thread?
Never thought we’d see
a dude get banned on this thread
live and learn, I guess.
Karen, keep in mind
Steve is not the math expert
in that family
Dear Steve’s Balls, zero
population my friend. That’s
what us dems all want.
Jesus, Satan, bros!
Why you got to be this way?
Can’t we get along?
Don’t you fret Karen.
Steve’s balls are still safe and sound
In his wife’s car trunk.
I love it, Steve! I think it would be most enjoyable if whenever you banned someone, you favored them with a haiku.
“Will my son at Dairy queen”
Yes, he probably will. Don’t panic though; I hear that BYU has pioneered some kind of treatment involving electricity. You won’t believe their cure-rate!
Ziff: Bill C. left out
’cause of lie . Own up to your
sexual conquest!
Jesus comes to man.
Child doesn’t care: “Let me touch
that big huge paper!”
Mother looking up
says, Hey that glowing guy Stole
my yellow curtains
Trolls need to learn: 5-
7-5 keeps you in the
game a lil’ longer.
Dwight D. Eisenhouer
Oh Snap! He’s a pinko Commie!
Don’t they read John Birche?
In high school of the 1960s, they taught us that, to have dignity, a haiku must also evoke a season and a corresponding mood. So, . . .
Now dark autumn clouds
Silhouette my tall haystack.
Summer has been good.
Hey! I grew up on a farm in Boise. What do you want!
Ha! Ok I need to give special props to 85 (despite the 6-8-5), 72, 44, 38, 31, 30, 23, 18, and a few of Karen’s in the post for making me laugh out loud. I am chuckling profusely here on most of these.
Where is Betsy Ross?
Cliche patriot list FAIL.
Want my money back.
Mom holds son aloft
on mighty index finger,
credits Cleon’s leap.
Son cut off left hand
Offended by his member;
Damn dyslexia.
“…the value of qualified, trained, and hard working teachers in teaching the youth of America cannot be underestimated…” ??
Black college student
Likes to read Skousen, who says:
“Civil Rights? Commie.”
Hey you school teacher
Get your union lovin’ butt
To the Satan side!
El inmigrante
dice: “Jesus Cristo es
muy brillante.”
Tom Paine, atheist?
Artist never read his works –
Put him with good guys.
Maybe since he wrote
Common Sense, Paine is seen as
A proto-Glenn Beck.
Did you notice that
the only people smiling
are three wicked guys?
Alex Hamilton
Alone sees Palpatine there
Grabbing light saber
Need some McNaughtons
To complement the Kinkaids
On my parlour walls.
The gal on the left
Is that an orange spacesuit?
Hey, I think that’s me!
oh, about that robe…
the gold’s a little garish
Jesus ought to know
John Adams says, “Yeah,
We don’t know the guy, either.”
Hamilton agrees.
George Washington swears,
“I don’t know this glowing guy!
Cross my heart, hope to…”
Now we have the proof!
Satan really has red eyes!
And gray complexion?
Haiku is easy
But sometimes it doesn’t make sense.
Refrigerator.
Conference comes soon.
Time to get out my PJs
Set the DVR
“Cry, Supreme Court Judge!
Cry for all that you have done!
For shame!” Love, Jesus
Zelph, in mound resting,
Arrowheads and bones: wonder
If prophets speak true.
So much to do now.
I cannot believe I read,
All one hundred five.
Don’t you know that the
Supreme Court is actually
quite conservative?
And a gray Satan
With red eyes in the corner?
Just not his style
The red sash is for blood
spilt by America for
God. Really? Really?!?
Poor little blonde child.
Painter says you’re disabled.
What’s your handicap?
Dear sweet painter, what
is the symbolism of
non-whites in margins?
Harriet Tubman,
peeking over shoulders there,
Satan gets more press
Is it just me or
does Satan look like red-robed
Jesus? Ahhhh, brothers.
Hey there, anti-Brit:
Do you not know Jesus walked
on our pastures green?
Eminent domain
Greedy land-grabbing fat cats
What would Jesus do?
Immigrant surprise
So Jesus is on their side
Enlist? Sign me up.
One on black velvet
For living room. Poker dogs
Out with the garbage.
Face buried in hands —
“Please tell me he’s not Mormon.”
“…artist from Utah…”
People who don’t know
History give me a pain
Or is it a Payne?
Give him credit, though–
Discoverer of Thomas Payne
Author of “Common Scents”
Just moved to Provo.
This proudly displayed in mall.
Crap. Why’d we come here?
Stare at the painting.
Horrible fascination.
I can’t look away.
Politician’s wrath
No! I will not bow to this
Ranger from the north.
Evans counts his dough
Hoping filthy lucre saves.
Best of luck, my friend.
“Handicapped baby”
Heaven’s full of brown hair dye.
You will be made whole.
Sin of omission:
Where’s the merry band of elves
Singing Elbereth?
Dolly Madison
Red twinkies with coconut
Mmm-mmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
Republican “art.”
Is that oxymoronic?
Or just moronic.
‘Leven fifty-nine:
Thou shall not know what hour.
Bugler’s beard grows yellow.
Brunette with glasses
by soldier is requisite
Sarah Palin plug
Professors are bad
But on the right hand of God
Are teachers, like me!
I do limericks
Not haiku. Thus, I declare
My lack of int’rest.
And in response to #19:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who feared he would soon kick the bucket
He resolved to pursue
The things listed to do
Such as take a vacation in Phuket
Hey blacks, stand in back!
Where is Rosa Parks? Too much
white and delightsome
John K – Only Dem
Pres? Ever heard of Franklin
Roosevelt, jackass?
One hundred, two, three…
Let’s kill all the lawyers–
Screw the commandments!
Lawrence v. Texas
Souter gone, will we lose all?
Soyomayor says…
OMG (Jaw drop)
This is abomination
of desolation
Knocked up woman points
As if artist meant to say
“Pregnancy evil.”
Flag has fifty stars;
Some shine brighter than others.
“Boo, Massachusetts!”
Susan Anthony,
Reviled, dirty feminist–
How come she is there?
Poor Kelo! Her land
Now lies fallow – taken, but
Never developed.
Seriously, folks.
Most fun bloggernacle thread
ever. More haiku?
This is great art and
I’ma let you see it but
this post best alltime.
Kevin B, we are
both attorneys, how can you
bill hours on blog?
Saviors, saviors all
but me so very confused…
where be the Glenn Beck?
ah, it’s Magic Eye
confusion is now resolved
Ezra Taft in back
damnation and hell
the destination reserved
for littering judge
Token black complies
Clarence Thomas in disguise?
Reality belies…
Blacks still in the rear
Satan whispers in gay’s ear
Such do WASPs hold dear
Franklin clutching chest
Justice cannot watch the rest
Lying at its best.
pregnant equals hope
she doesn’t want abortion
condemned wtf?
Number 104
That’s the best note from Christ
That I’ve ever read
Sammy Adams says:
Celebrate Armegeddon!
Come get beer back here!
No doubt, judges will
weep. Where are Korematsu,
Dred Scott and Plessy?
This art makes strong case
for requiring artists
to have a license.
(Not just to use some
artistic license). Checked, yep
he’s from Utah. Sigh.
Jesus now reveals:
Constitution, not Bible,
Is the Word of God.
Day Dawn is Breaking
Jesus will do the judging
artist gets a D
artist from utah
temple recommend revoked
forgot Joseph Smith
Artist caption for
Tree- “creative periods”
Definitely Mo.
Most offensive part:
You are clearly LDS
But hide to sell more.
Julie M. Smith, what?
No comment on the George Wythe?
You disappoint me.
:-)
re:151
Most Offensive Part”
Artist casts himself as Christ
Judging everybody
Heaven forbid my
In-laws see this; once again
Crappy Christmas gift.
Number 119,
Alas! I have no lucre.
Hookers and cocaine.
Where are the redheads?
This Harvard law student is
Smelling a lawsuit
Damn’d pettifoggers
Corrupt fountains sparkling pure.
But M’Naghten rules!
Token democrat
My sweet John F Kennedy
Where is Maralyn?
Ronald Reagan note:
“True patriot of freedom”
Tell me what that means
————
On his “about” link
Mormon roots not hidden
He paints temples too!
Art? Impossible!
To see such strokes conjures but
One word: MacNaughton!
Young boy tells Jesus
Secret map’s on the back of
The Constitution.
Young boy asks Jesus
Why does the Constitution
Sanction slavery?
Four of five non-white
in the very back. It harks
back to days of bus?
Bad politician
Don’t care for constituents
How d’you spin this one?
For all non-lawyers:
M’Naughton is legal test
for insanity.
Union soldier cries,
but black civil war soldier
is not tormented.
Explains McNaughton
“the blacks” willingly did what
they were told to do.
I guess that’s how you
make minorities happy:
tell them what to do.
It’s a cover-up!
Where is Joseph Smith, you ask?
X-ray the painting!
Why Davey Crockett?
Because “Killed him a b’ar when
he was only three?”
Propaganda art
Arnold Friberg would be proud
Saints be praised!
Benjamin Franklin
Gots his eyes on that cutie
With the baby bump
Sequoya wonders:
Why not Sacagawea?
There goes my street cred!
Lawyer with cash wad
Knows: always, always get a
fricking retainer
Ronald Reagan looks
dapper for a president
made of solid wood
It’s Davy Crockett!
His theme song is excellent
Nice coon skin cap too
Is that you Justice
Breyer? Administrative
law makes me cry too
Only one Native
American in the bunch
So many white guys
Abraham Lincoln
Bows to Satan. Offers soul
to escape painting
I can’t find Satan.
Do I not see him because
I am just too pure?
World War I soldier
sings “Stop! In the Name of Love” –
A.I. audition?
Look for Emperor
Palpatine right behind the
smug Hollywood guy.
Little do they know
Anti-Christ in belly grows
Dad is Democrat…
Only figures with
no explanation: business
woman and Satan
Oops, I forgot the
handicapped child. Or should it
be “handicap”? Huh.
Business woman – does
she wear pants? If so, move her
to the other side.
Christian minister –
from this angle he looks like
Merrill J. Bateman
Main Street Plaza gays
Hauled away by rent-a-cops.
Who would Jesus cuff?
MoHoHawaii,
Haikus can’t disguise a troll.
Don’t make me ban you.
One thing I don’t get–
I’ve looked until my eyes bled:
Where’s the Brady Bunch?
One hundred eighty:
How much I totally love
your s’pernal comment!
Glenn Beck is a tool
Relevant to this artwork?
No, but I don’t care.
Where is Rosa Parks?
Is she not good enough? –– Oh,
Tubman took her seat.
_________________
Little do you know…
This is just a study for
Temple mural.
“Nnnooooooooooo!”
(Oops. “Nooo” should be end of the third line…)
Jefferson. A stick.
His eyes stare slyly ahead,
Watch out, Jesus! Run!
The Bloggernacle
Where all are welcome but trolls
I like being here
Washington looks left
pledging allegiance to who?
Oh no, look, Satan!
News Reporter’s sin
is her leftist agenda
not found on Fox News
Fox News alone saves
This country from the lefties
Fair and Balanced News
—————————–
(Its a chiasmic
Haiku so it must be true,
heard it on Fox News)
Best bumper sticker:
Frodo failed. Bush has the ring.
Reminds me: Where’s George?
The leaves change color
Equal absorber of all light
He’s my President
Abigail Adams
pleads–must I wear this hat for
all eternity?
Generation next
With great boldness points (in vain)
To amendment 1.
Where is Sitting Bull?
How about Spotted Eagle?
American Horse?
All the great Sioux chiefs?
You call this America?
This is really sad.
Dolly Madison:
Your pastries go unmentioned.
It’s a travesty.
Ronald Regan is
The true anti-christ, watch out
Mister Hollywood!
I am going rogue
School teacher looks like Palin
But where is her gun?
Artist/Storm trooper,
‘That’s not the text you’re looking for’
(said with a hand wave)
Poor Richard/Ben Franklin
Are you having heart trouble?
Too many French dainties?
Brilliant marketing!
McNaughton is the Kinkade
of Mormony kitsch.
Judge covering eyes
Looks like DC Circuit Judge
My stake president
Biology Prof
I think it’s Talmage himself
Or maybe Eyring
Lawyer might be a
Young version of Elder Oaks
Counting out tithing
And the reporter
Symbol of freedom of speech
Keeps others honest
McNaughton will be
Disappointed when these four
Make it to heaven
Many surprises
When Christ returns and judges
With his own standard.
bad art but even worse
the ignorant commentary
embedded in it
nice to read haiku
blog reader’s share their insights
artist less thoughtful
(And yes, I know Talmage and Eyring weren’t biology professors. But they were scientists, and accepted evolution).
commenters can’t see
they’ve just made M’Naugton very rich
free advertizing
but, they still protest,
these haikus ridicule him
make fun of the art
and that is the point:
perceived bias can become
true badge of honor
M’Naughton can boast
I made “liberals” upset
their evil unveil’d
Brave new world order
Too bad Jesus blocks the sun
Everyone looks cold
Boy is so confused:
“Church and State shall not be fused”
Jesus not amused
(#209)
Nail hit on the head!
Ridiculing bad “art” makes
artist lionized!
because of this thread
I sent my wife a haiku
in a text message
‘Naughton’s big surprise:
Haiku stint at BCC
Yields adoring fans.
John F. misses point.
Even conservatives can
can see that this stinks.
Honestly, that he
reversed the Atonement for
politics just reeks.
I am sure that he means
well enough, but whatever
this is, it ain’t right.
This mash up doesn’t
meet any conservative norm
for theology.
I would assume that
even the Christian right would
shun a connection.
But what do I know? I
once claimed that George Bush envied
this Hollywood guy.
Ack! messed up the last one.
But what do I know?
I claimed that George Bush envied
this Hollywood guy.
much better.
Haiku comment stream,
now I’m all hungry for some
California rolls.
John C., I agree
conservatives can sure see
it fails certainly
“But what do I know”
inadvertently confessed
latent Glenn Beck love
(206)
The judge you speak of
I believe he just might be
related to me
you forgot our anniversary
and lame haiku
does not make up for it
uhhhhh
Family doctor says,
“Would you like me to treat your
MRSA with old drugs
Or new ones that are
Intelligently designed?
It’s your life, Fundie.”
Token black student
Gets to sit in front ’cause he
Knows his place, yes sir.
Mormons in haiku
demonstrate free agency,
pass the Turing test
many creative comments
and lack of verbosity–
all threads should be haiku
Haikus not verbose
So RTS won’t comment?
All in favor, “Click”
I’ve been a lurker
for over three years. Haikus
make us all equal.
Three years!??!? REALLY long time
to sit there, staring, idle
while I ban the trolls.
Katie, this thread is
nothing without your poems.
Guest post in haiku!
Raymond Takashi
Swenson is nearly a whole
haiku by himself.
I claim two three oh.
It is my comment. Not yours.
Pride in silly deed.
Feel very cultured
For having read two thirty
Haiku in one day
Haiku in English
Ersatz. California
Rolls also. Bogus.
Comment #220
Best of ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!
If Good is Gondor
And Evil hails from Naboo
Where is Gallifrey?
LDS haiku,
yet not a one containing,
“And it came to pass…”
all kidding aside
great use of color and blend
even if pol’tics dif.
and i have to say
joseph smith was not a blonde
just look at his pic?
The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints’ name’s
annoyingly long.
BCC is soooo
PC, while T&S is
all ’bout T&A.
(219)
An intellectual
and thoughtful conservative.
I have great respect.
All left-hand goats will
Sorrow one day. Remember
Cipher in the Snow?
Thomas Jefferson
Looks like Lu-ci-us Malfoy.
Now I’m just petty.
(Lucius is 2 or 3 syllables?)
rockin’ haiku poets
don’t count syllables
just freestyle, homeskillet!
Each haiku is brief.
But as a group you risk a
Repeat of this thing.
Weston, hang it up
Trying hard to be all that
Haiku doesn’t rhyme
Haikus are discrete.
Where is continuity?
Not my fav’rite post.
Ardis, no repeats.
PBR 10 was a fluke
beautiful, sad, fluke.
Ardis tossed the glove,
A new challenge for our times,
One thousand haiku!
#235
Weston, I repent.
Using secret Mormon words
Earns you a gold star.
Immigrant worker!
Worship freely as you please;
But only our God.
With time we forget.
‘Nam war is accepted?
Inane art deceives.
Wrong Sad Sequoyah.
Our constitution failed you.
Do not look to us.
Don’t take it away.
This book sheds light on our past.
I tightly hold on.
Wrong Sad Sequoyah
Our haikus failed you. Should be
Strong Sad Sequoyah.
Your death was tragic.
For the want of an O-ring!
He did not save you.
Which book? Monkey Show
or Half Millennial Leap?
Which grip might soon slip?
Not Eisenhower!
The Congo’s blood is on you.
Capitalism!
Those scattered papers
Gave you some rights not found in
The Constitution.
A large signature.
Yet you are left to the left
Corner unseen there.
Haiku fills my brain
I try but can’t stop reading
Oh please make it stop
Thirteen-score haikus
Each more inane than the last
When will it all end?
I would cry also.
Fundamentalism thrives
In this ignorance.
Tomatoes and squash,
Zucchini, basil, peppers,
All will frost tonight. :(
A handicapped child.
Quick sir, call the good doctor
Trained well by science.
Farmer and Framer
Educate thyself with truth.
God may be elsewhere.
MikeInWeHo, speak!
Does sardonic movie guy
Live right down the street?
Your view of the world.
Is your symbolism fair?
Not to me it’s not.
I still contend that
that child is not handicapped.
Welfare fraud, I think.
John C is correct.
Thank you for righting a “Wrong.”
Alliteration.
A litter nation?
Will no-one clean up the steps
on which those folk sit?
Perfect change in words
Imagination is light;
Joy in creation.
Wisdom in five feet?
Even coffins are longer.
There ain’t no free lunch!
#236
That Tracy got sued
Pretty book, so poorly done
This is too easy.
Ardis:
It will be ninety
degrees here tomorrow–ugh
I’d rather have frost!
My tomatoes curse
thee, Julie M. Smith! They will
die before their time.
I would rather you
Have the frost, too, Julie, and
Spare my fresh veggies.
Zoroastrian
antidiscrimination
opportunity
Ardis Stew, fresh too,
Should the frost decide to come,
Salad otherwise.
One thousand haikus–
No problem! I can do this
with one hand chopped off.
Westerners, take note:
Haiku plural has no s.
Simply say haiku.
Blogs fertilized with
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
turn tares into wheat
The family doctor
Yay! He’s one of the good guys!
This artwork rocks.
How sad that this art
Taught me that Davy Crockett
Was a real man!
I can’t help but ask–
Why would Jesus care about
Gibbons v. Ogden?
#278,
So now no plural s?
And proscriptively obsess
Before haiku you bless.
Soper-san abhors
Rhyme which haiku underscores
How the purist roars!
Give your rules a rest
Grating rhyme is rhythm’s zest
Fusion food tastes best.
Bravo, Dan Weston!
Master of haiku and rhyme–
A winning combo.
Benjamin Franklin
is in the vile painting twice.
(Look at the money!)
Some starts look quite dim.
Some stars will shine much brighter.
Jesus has favorites?
Liberal news lady
Clearly does not work for Fox.
Stop spewing your lies!
Mister McNaughton,
Thomas Kinkade just called you
he wants his style back.
Skousen-ite student
eyes Abigail Adams with
lust. Thinks: “Get it, girrrrrl!”
Soper-san sees light:
Weston fusion burns abright.
Wrongness feels so right.
Wait 25 more years
Obama will have to be
Painted in. Last laugh
Black historical
Figures hidden in the back,
Tubman, can’t see you!
American flag,
receives no description love.
What gives, McNaughton?
The inanity
Of many ‘nacle figures
Farting on bad art
Out of many pols
Only one is with the goats.
Oh! Is that Romney?
Is lawyer lucre
filthier than cash spent on
insipid glicees?
Jesus: “Um. Hold on.
I said I don’t work with kids.
Brad, call my agent.”
John Jay often teased:
“John Jay-cob Jingleheimer
Schmidt!” He’s not laughing.
John Hancock beats all.
Who says size doesn’t matter?
Bigger is better!
Holy smokes, woman!
So, so many great haiku.
Kate: eight-cow poet.
8 AM meeting.
Some last haiku before bed:
Fisher Ames? Random.
Nate Hale: blond hottie!
Wishes he were like a cat.
Nine lives? Wicked sweet!
Haiku three hundred!
Only seven hundred more.
This is just the start!
This thread is too long
Don’t you people have real lives?
Time to go to bed.
Perhaps I am ill,
Can’t stop thinking in haiku
please, someone help me…
Wait! What’s that I see?
Family Doctor on the stairs!
Could he have a cure?
Alas, it’s no use.
Health insurance I have none
Public option, then?…
My great-aunt offered
My dad a McNaughton print
I hope not this one
Imagine Jesus
Holding the Constitution
On your wall at home
Don’t you understand?
Symbollism tells the truth
This is symbolic
What would Dan Brown say?
Where is Mary Magdalene?
Ask the Vatican.
Pregnancy is bad
But still you must have children
Time to learn to clone
Though frankly I could
Not paint anything like this
Not that I would try
My children await
Their breakfast, and yet I still
Feel compelled to write
Thanks to the painting
I now parent in Haiku
Children roll their eyes
Haiku is not an
American form of art
What would Lincoln think?
Politician talks
On his phone, Apocalypse
Next time, try Twitter
chill, supreme court judge
don’t be such a big baby
just pick the stuff up
something isn’t right
this don’t look like the temple
in independence!
Oh, smug professor
why don’t you use Just For Men?
maybe touch of grey?
A good night’s sleep past,
I rise to find McNaughton,
Nightmare in plain day.
World War II soldier
Middle-aged by Vietnam
But still you fought there
Christa McAuliffe,
Doomed for all eternity
To wear her spacesuit.
けっこんは
オバマによれば
オカマだめ
Kekkon wa
Obama ni yoreba
Okama dame
As for marriage ways,
According to Obama
No way for the gays.
Only Union weeps.
So those killed in other wars,
Were they not brothers?
[ in particular: ]
Rev’lution’ry War, then too
Neighbor fought neighbor, recall.
Many were Tories.
No, foreign blood would
Count if, an immigrant, he
fought in red white blue
けっこんは オバマによれば オカマ
オカマだめ けっこんは オバマによれば
オバマによればオカマだめ けっこ
McNaughton paints well
Much, much better than I could
But he’s a Beck hack.
Three hundred-plus posts?
If we don’t stop soon, I fear,
McNaughton will gloat
You misunderstood
Your Japanese is no good
Explain if you would
Backward, regressive,
Devolved, arrested, reversed.
Five-thousand-year leap.
Regressive, backward,
Devolved, degraded, reversed:
Five-thousand-year leap.
Have I for some reason been dumped into the mod queue? I didn’t think my haikus were THAT bad …
Ardis, you are saved.
I mean from mod queue, at least.
Can’t speak to soul’s fate. :-)
Soul’s fate is just fine.
I said pledge of allegiance,
McNaughton will save!
BCC can’t win!
too heterodox for some
too orthodox, too.
“Mormon Matters” in,
But BCC is kicked off?
GHS’ nonsense.
Maybe your blog would
Be better received if tru-
ly heterodox
d’oh.
October Ensign
Blogs the Word, no BCC.
They saw this thread—NOT.
Nothing Wavering
And Gently Hew Stone both like
Keepapitchinin.
So why do I slum
Here at BCC with you?
You are the cool kids!
Cool kids, repent ye!
Be more orthodox like me!
Repent, and warm up.
(Whose is this bloody,
Ston-ed’, bruis-ed’ corpse? Alas!
She dissed BCC!)
I’m sorry Ardis
But you just can’t do multi-
Stanza haiku.
[That last word is three syllables in Japanese. I can still count!]
Then, Mark B., pray tell,
What is it that I just did?
I break all the rules.
Three hundred forty:
Tales told by an idiot–
With a kiss, it dies.
what would cross his mind
were McNaughton to see this
would he be real mad?
He would paint us all
On the lowest steps of hell.
But then, he IS mad.
Grey, red-eyed Satan
Looks like a TV version–
Buffy-type demon.
But we know better!
According to Joseph Smith
He’s a handsome dude.
Scheherazade told
a story a day. Haiku
are much easier.
Sunken eyes, limp hair,
eyeing pregnant lady’s brains–
Zombie Reporter!
(343)
Even Joss Whedon
Knows that the biggest evil
Appears beautiful.
(Re: 346)
Neil Patrick Harris’
Dr Horrible can be
my baby daddy!
*monocle pops out*
What abominable rot
Is this? Good day, sir!
Please say it’s satire
Mocking the right wing nutjobs
Who think this nonsense
Jack and Jill went up
the hill to fetch a pail of
water. Dude, the end.
I know professor
A nun who teaches Darwin
Damn her godless soul.
College student good
College professor evil
How can this be so?
Darwin is too soft
Professor should hold Dawkins’
The God Delusion
Ziff, LOL!
Sorry, no haiku. I just couldn’t help but be reminded of this political cartoon:
That Jesus would fit so much better.
SGarff FTW!
Gun-toting, muscled, tattooed
Jesus is awesome!
Why is that woman
Who wants to keep her baby
Over with those guys?
Who is the father?
She’s not sure who to name in
paternity suit.
Pregnant lady points
accusatorily. Says,
“Preacher knocked me up!”
Oh, noble painting
Spawns new form of poetry:
the Uruk-haiku.
Prof’s blurb is missing
Possessive apostrophe.
That just drives me nuts.
At least the Soviets
Were upfront about their use
Of propaganda.
Haiku tsunami
Finally calming down to
Soft waves of funny
Look oh so closely
The school teacher’s gotta be
Sarah Palin’s clone
You know you’ve arrived
When your painting makes it on
The Huffington Post
HuffPo, den of libs —
McNaughton warned us of you!
Palpatine’s bloggers.
One more PR coup!
Hails from the Palpatine side,
Andrew Sullivan.
Dude seriously
This painting makes my sides hurt
American christ
We are all so smug,
But I fear that the painting
Speaks for the masses.
Think of Bob Dylan
Who wrote a great song about
God on our side.
Dumbed-Down Forefathers
Americanized Jesus
Lincoln sings “Mammy.”
He sent King to Iraq?
Roadside IED as
standin James Earl Ray?
Iraq has secret
syllable development
program – I’m stupid
Spoof site has bad words
But the captions are funny
Beware the F Bomb!
apropos of SteveP #37:
Don’t worry JC:
If Satan does come closer
I’ll Darwin his ass.
Blasphemer sullies
God’s nature, see the end of
Matthew 25.
Further, never knew
Jesus was an Aryan man.
Fair-haired yehudim?
Of course, soldiers there.
Constantine f***ed up
wed the Cross to steel.
Franklin’s syphilis
Now delighting Mother Jones.
Karen is da bomb!
http://www.motherjones.com/riff/2009/10/painting-america-depicts-constitution-bearing-christ-liberal-reporter-and-satan
Me again!
Deniers of Christ
Among those standing behind
Historians cringe.
White House not painted
The Son as Executive?
Again, blasphemy!
Christian speaking here,
Painting reflects apostates
Weds force to my God.
A little deeper:
Adventists flee
for their Christian liberty
from these ideas.
Tertullian asks:
“What has Athens to do with
Jerusalem?” but
I respond: “Athens?
Aren’t Rome and Jerusalem
stranger bedfellows?”
Violence, empire
contradict the Lord’s Gospel
Rome on Great Salt Lakes?
Why are ASIANS good
yet absent of white Jesus?
I do resent that!
Oh, wait, I get it!
Few yellow Mormons means
Absence of Gospel.
Presbyterians
laugh at McNaughton because
they’re all Korean!
It’s apparent that
LDS stand beyond Calvin’s
elect, they blaspheme!
“My kingdom is not
of this world,” so are Yankees
foreign aliens?
The Lord will punish
this nation for its abuse
of his Holy Name.
Dropped a syllable in my original post…fixed:
Think of Bob Dylan
Who wrote a great song he called
“With God On Our Side.”
Apologies if my previous posts come off as confrontational – they’re commentaries on McNaughton’s art and worldview, and not stabs at anyone present.
(Sook)
Sook, please don’t worry!
Your worst crime by far, no doubt
is haiku failure.
Supercalifrag
ilisticexpiali
docious is a song.
Failure? You slay me.
Am I truly so awful?
I did try my best!
Haikus are stupid
You all think you’re so clever
You’re wrong so just quit.
Aaron’s got a point.
I’mma peace out for the night.
It’s been real, people!
De do do do de
da da da is all I have
to say to you, dude.
Like one thousand cranes
Haiku cannot change what is
only what becomes
Evanescent praise
Lest an addict I become
Vainglory denied
No Haiku this time,
Just a site with new descriptions of the painting:
http://www.shortpacked.com/McNaughton%20Fine%20Art.htm
Token black man holds
Glenn Beck bible. Did you know
Beck is a Mormon?
Dear Sook, no harm done.
Just note that this isn’t Mor-
mon. It’s just crazy
Considering
Two century selection
for creationism
John, go to Salt Lake
Mormon iconography
is everywhere
shams, check About page.
Mormons hang out around here.
John knows SLC.
Shams, I’m in Utah
County. Mormoniest place
EVA! Jon’s art’s nuts.
U.K. Telegraph,
Here’s a telegraph for you:
poetry websitea MORMON website.Oh yes BCC
You are poetry to me
Yeats reads with envy
Telegraph, fear not.
We’ve long done poetry here
just follow this link.
Painting show the way
Pseudohagiography
sells better than truth.
Missionaries rap
Book of Mormon in haiku
Old wine in new skins.
Dan’s haiku progress
As spring’s youth to summertime
grows mature and fine.
Poetry site? Word.
Gonna gaffle some hubcaps
along with your rhymes.
912 project rules
Mormon Cleon Skousen was
too mad for mormons
A Telegraph link
Meant to promote poetry
Proselytes instead
The spoof site is great,
But its targets never saw
End of Evangelion.
Judicial review-
Surely one of the many
Fruits of Satan’s church.
Don’t tell McNaughton
About Deism! Liberal
Bias, it must be.
I like Reagan- peace
Through having more nukes than the
Dirty Communists.
Speaking of commies,
How’d Eisenhower get here?
Great Society?
Ricky Gervais? I
Think Mr. Hollywood is
Sean Bean/Boromir.
If Hollywood is
Sin, what made Reagan so great?
Must’ve been the Contras.
My writing teacher
docked points off of my poems.
Ugh. Back to Haiku.
Anyone notice
the site is called “McNaughton
Fine Art?” Ironic.
The Second Coming
Jesus judges living, dead
Who will make the cut?
Telestial left
Terrestrial in the back
Celestial right
What to do with boy?
Mom on right, dad on the left
Mercy called for here.
Mighty lamenting
Over my first haiku! It’s
Five-seven-seven…
This reminds me of
The web site, failblog [dot] com
Epic Fail, I think
One nation for all
The only one that will count
Rest of the world gone?
Worship as we please?
The immigrant clearly thinks
Then how come two sides?
Poor supreme justice
He dropped all of his papers
It’s a sad sad day
Beside lawyers cash,
A subtle name can be read
McNaughton in black
Good sir knight, Gowain,
We have but one punishment
For faulty haiku.
Pray tell, good lady,
What punishment will befall
Me for my poems?
This picture works well
But it has a greater pull
with a new subject
Mr. Hollywood
Laughing at the court justice
Jesus spooked him bad.
Is not a Union
Soldier, but Glenn Beck sobbing
In historic drag.
The dread Lord Cthulhu
Takes his rightful place among
Zombie presidents:
Jon McNaughton sir!
“Make no wrong use of My name.”
Sinned you have. Repent!
Amerika ga
suki. nihon dou
iesu-sama?
(translation)
You like America
But What about Japan?
Jesus?
Y to McNaughton:
Please take your “art” and shove it.
McNaughton sucks thumb.
BYU Bookstore
O mirabile dictu!
Fin’ly grows a pair.
Samuelson disses
constitution. White horses
riding to rescue.
McNaughton’s blog has
comments funnier than this
great and spacious blog.
Jon’s art nobly goes
like a lamb to the slaughter
its blood be avenged!
Communist college,
You are anti-caucasian.
BYU, for shame.
Real reason Y dumped
McNaughton: He can’t show a
birth certificate.
Which is nuttier?
BYU : Berk-e-ley, or
BYU : Harvard?
BYU transgressed
Tea Party Orthodoxy
Monson should resign.
First Rodin’s “The Kiss”
Now God’s favorite artist’s work
Second Coming looms!
BYU a den
of librul iniquity
Time to shut it down!
McNaughton suppressed.
Yet bookstore sells naughty books!
Cats and Dogs hook up!
Anti-caucasian,
Berk’ley-loving lib’ruls: Shame!
Fools mock, but they’ll mourn!
City of Manti
Home to the Univer’sty
of Abinadi.
No more shall our young
have to attend such lib’ral
schools as BYU.
All righteous peeps know
An Enemy Hath Done This.
Surely these are last days.
McNaughton’s painting
And politics exhibit
Foul idolatry
McNaughton Fine Art
A remarkable display
Poe’s Corollary
Everyone knows that
the great and spacious building
is called the HFAC.
Highly trained artists
Know their visual language.
Don’t need words to ‘splain.
This guy mixes paint
With high-fructose corn syrup,
Diabetic art.
BCC at last
with will and grace you now show
winter yields to spring.
Now with passion cooled
No longer the sap which runs
Perma frost thawed out.
Such a climate change
McNaughton out, and we in
Perhaps there is a God.
Steve Davis, P.I.
Uncovers LDS Plot
WTF brother?
http://www.bridgingtruth.com/Letter.html
I fear he is right
Because study at the Y
Turned me liberal.
Conspiracy and
Backroom deals. Who calls the shots
at the BYU?
Jon sees through the fog.
Democrats with loud voices
Divide the nation.
Jon’s vision, his dream
scorned like the prophet of old
in his own country.
completely crazy
to think of BYU as
a liberal place
A complete shocker
Y bungles situation
Oh my fetchin’ heck!
re #443
Dear Peter, check out
the limo station wagon,
linked letter, page 2
Move over, Beauville.
This limo wagon the choice
For Mormon execs.
Listen up, Librulz
God loves didactic art and
Jesus does too; so…
Next time just try this:
Cougs on right hand, Utes on left –
I’d buy one of those.
Laugh like maniac
at Kevin Barney’s and more.
Great resurrection!
King estate saves from
fate worse than death…to be in
McNaughton painting.
McNaughton divides
Jesus: if not one not mine
Well done BYU
Methinks the commies
Infiltrated the Y through
Campus fluoride plot
If bad art inspires
This epic haiku thread
Is it thus redeemed?
lindberg FTW
McNaughton deemed aesthetic
tears are shed, hearts warmed
oops, lindberg messed up
5-6-5 does not cut it
but it still wins out
Crazy is as does
Crazy did , the Y suppressed
Crazy reponds–eep!
You think haiku is
Two beats; but in Japanese
Haiku is three
Not to pick at nits,
But how many syllables
Are in “W”?
:)
conservatives cry
not because of BYU
but because people buy this
lindberg I’m in the south so you can have as many syllables as you need ;)
I stand corrected
On the haiku bit, sure
But “For the Win” stands.
I had a nightmare
This painting was prominent.
Now I’ve wet my pants.
Please forgive the snark
Of course, FTW is fine
Just having some fun
McNaughton: Who could
Take you as seriously
As you take yourself?
Pity McNaughton,
All your McArt posturing
comes to McNothing.
Who will take your side?
I have polled the applicants!
Ronald McDonald!
And on the third day
God made the B-52
To save America.
Ding dong, art is dead!
BYU banninates crap
that sells like hot cakes.
McNaughton: Don’t care
if your art is all holy.
The painting still sucks.
McNaughton Work ‘nspires.
Envokes vic’ral reaction.
The Sheep laugh; Goats cry.
Black union soldier
And Frederick Douglas, too:
Get behind the whites.
I feel so guilty
I love the painting because
it inspired this thread
paint more Mc Naughton
you are almost as fun as
peta and Don Trump ;)
PETA and Trump differ
First has good heart but weak brain
Second has neither.
The Bloggernacle
Believes that snarkiness is
Next to godliness
Dan, I’m confused.
Trump has bad heart and strong brain?
Or no heart, no brain?
Katie trumps Dan’s trump?
Yet do I sense a strawman?
Wish I was brainy…
Scott B., you’re half right.
Trump is the love-child of the
Tin Man and Scarecrow.
Why’d Dor’thy leave Oz?
Maybe she is colorblind.
Paradise unfound.
The wonderful thing
About tiggers is tiggers
Are wonderful things.
The work and blog hours
Have ended for this evening.
Hot wife, let’s go out.
Just gonna say that
When he calls his work ONUG
The Libruls have won.
Cleon Skousen is
The philosopher Beck loves.
This artist does too.
BYU nutters
Turn verse-quote scorn on their own.
Just one word: KARMA.
Can’t stop laughing, still.
Such creativity – wow!
McNaughton? Much worse.
fine art or find art
guda swiss chedder fontina
I like mine sharp like chedder
(this stuff is why artists starve)
BYU needs more
respect for diversity
not really bad art.
It won’t bother me
if crazy right-wingers stay
away from the Y.
Summary in verse
Now you don’t have to click link
To make head explode
What the heck, oh Y?
I must now pull my art out.
You lie then censure.
Evolution taught,
Democrats a campus club;
Lib’rals run the school.
Jon, we stand with you!
The end-times must be nearing,
Can’t send kids there now
On my wall it hangs,
E’en “One Nation Under God”
It converts my friends
Harvard of the West
Now Berkley of the mountains
Y is communist
Just look at course list!
‘Multiculturalism”
anti-caucasian!
This crap is not art.
Not politics that killed it,
Just lousy technique
Apostate critic!
Pretends to be on ‘right’ side
but goat in disguise
Liberalism
is a mental disorder
Alert APA
Abinidi U!
The Y is run by “kingmen”
Next GC kicked out!
Jon, you’re so funny!
So many don’t get satire.
Wait, you’re serious?!?
McNaughton Fine Art?
McNaugton FINE Art it says?
Laffing my ass off.
Markie FTW!
That was just amazing, dude.
This line counts to five.
If Darwin is right
Then how are those commenters
Still procreating?
Their twisted logic
Should have caused their karmic deaths
Many years ago.
A nineties rapper
Markie Mark lays down the truth.
A haiku ringer?
Its not really fair
that a lyrical poet
drops beats on a blog.
How shall my haiku
Stand against a rapping pro?
Not to mention abs.
Mostly I just lurk,
me and my non six-pack abs.
Dude is a dude-ette.
Dude-ette, huh? That’s weird.
I loved your work: Four Brothers.
Italian Job? Meh.
Glurgy art makes Jon
the Mormon Thomas Kinkade.
Like we needed one.
Aw, poor butthurt Jon
History will remember…
Except not at all
I was a poet
and didn’t even
know it
497 does
rhyme, but ain’t haiku with two
or three syllables –
thus proving adage:
“Not all poetry equal
in Bloggernacle.”
Oh golden clothen
Jesus, smite these liberals
in they great mercy
Their smithereens blown
by the power of the flag
and Constitution
Because, oh Golden
One, they like our Obama
Think diff’rent than me
And about that man
Even President Barack
doth tread on thy word
As I have striven
to show in my other great
work of materpiece
Typos and typos
Methinks I spend enough time
But alas, not true
My last great stanza
should end with the wondrous line
“work of masterpiece”
Ray, it was a joke (and also a quote from Princess Bride)
Jacob M doth quote
Book of Armaments, methinks.
Am I right, good sir?
How awesome t’would be
If bunny let loose in one
of Jon’s painting’s crowds!
Lurker for three years
Laughing so, so very hard,
I have to comment.
Oh, Cynthia L.
Rightly hast thou mind thoughteth
The answer is yeah
A gem among gems
Contender for a Niblet
O such majesty!
Princess Bride ref’rence
covers multiple of sins –
redeems failed haiku.
“Multiple” should be
“multitude” of sins covered.
Head hangs low in shame.
I pray thanks because
propaganda is not art
and hate kills the soul
My artist wife’s book
of Propaganda Art would
disagree with that.
McNaughton does not
“hate” the dirty liberals
Just expects to be
Laughing his head off
While they are burning in hell.
Pomposity reigns.
A poetry snob
reminds poets that haiku
is about nature.
The best term for these
Most beautiful expressions
Would be senryu.
I try to restrain
my own perfectionism
and never succeed.
I think 500
haiku is too damn many
Everyone shut up.
mindless crafty-ness;
wonder of an ill-claimed past:
form without substance.
Some don’t like mainstream.
Five Hundred haiku too much?
Nah. Aaron = hipster.
Clark-
The man Pimpernel
The original poet
But did you know it?
Is he in heavan?
Or is he in hell? Indeed
Relates to painting
All of these haiku,
About the nature of crap,
Surely qualify.
Mister Alex T.
Do you refer to South Park’s
Famous Circle of Poo?
For those who need a
Refresher, it is about
Regeneration
And how all that poo
That comes from all animals
is part of nature
And thus all of these
Haiku, with it’s much ado
About crappy art
Then it does indeed
Fit the definition that
Silver Rain has gave
Oh, holy heavens
Indeed I have surely done
A grave haiku foul
I miscounted two
Lines. Let the first stanza end,
“The Circle of Poo?”
And while I correct
that error, I might as well
correct the last line
Which, when considerd
Is grammatically awful
Indeed it is more
Syntactically full
Of sin, and thus be in full
Need of repentence
And all I’m really
Saying, the last line should be
“Silver Rain’s given”
Seems we’ve jumped the shark
Poetasters without taste
With no end in sight
(I don’t watch South Park, so no, I was not referencing it.)
If some of you want broader exposure for your work, the Washington Post Style Invitational is calling you. This week’s contest is to “Write a haiku — which we’ll too broadly define as a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third — on any subject that’s been in the news in the past couple of weeks.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/style-invitational-contest-week-917-wryku–humorous-haiku-on-the-news/2011/04/25/AFNhc97E_story.html
That means your haiku has to be about the controversy, not the painting. You might want to include a link to the Tribune story to prove it has been in the news, since it has not been in the Post.
Embarrassed Mormons
Get confused when politics hang
With foyer-masters.
I am for that art.
A fool yes. But politics!
Not Olsen, Dewey…
Monosyllabic
Conceptualization
McNaugton’s haiku.
Of those involved:
Parents, patrons…only hell for
Website designer.
McNaughton too drunk
Creates his own worlds before
God says “cool do it.”
The Sun round the Earth.
Of course, God round USA
Haiku round me.
God, if McNaughton
inherits Celestial bliss
please send me to Hell.
Feminists whine, feminists complain
Feminists think of males with all disdain
I feel a feminist reading this poem
Should get back and focus on home.
We’re all at home
Its as nice as Rome
Except for the Feminist
Who probably needs a break from home.
The male is hungry
The male makes himself food
The male is happier
His feminist came back home.
We’ve all become feminists
We’re all pro-feminè
We all like equality
at the end of the day.